[Inspector]

A couple of days ago my girlfriend got mad at me because I put a password on my computer... and thats just because well... I don't like people using my computer without my permission. She demanded I give her the password, and I did... and she just sat there going through it. Sometimes... I would have some text messages that I havent read yet and when she has my phone and later on when I check it... I have NO UNREAD messages.

I know she might be doing this because she don't trust me... but I havent done anything AT ALL for her not to trust me. And I know she's not insecure about her looks or anything, because she def. don't have a problem with that.

I don't know what to say. How can I get this silly girl to trust me more. We been together for 2 years and this is the first time she started doing something like this. She been snapping at me a lot lately too. I would forget she don't eat green onions and she would get all emotional, then next thing you know it shes all sweet.

I don't really want to ask her about this... because I ATTEMPTED to... and she acts liek she don't know what I'm talking about. Ahhh I'm tired of not knowing what to expect. Can you ladies tell me what the problem is?

EDIT. ADDED

It all started a month ago. For some odd reason she was being all ... whats the word... "physically affectionate" I guess... NOT that I was complaining... believe me I'm not. Then the thing with the green onions! Well she was sleeping over my house that night and ask me to get her a baked potato. I bring it home... it has green onions and then somehow I'm the horrible guy that does not care. You know girls should be pampered... but she NEVER act like this before. In fact... she never even ate a damn bake potato before! So how would I know they put green onions in it? AND I just got home from work.

Then one day I put the password on my computer. NOT because of her... but my other family members like my little sisters. When she ask for the pw I gave it to her right away. Not like I was bargining.

She seems a bit clingy lately... sometimes I come home and shes already in my bed.


I love this girl. We went through a lot. And she did so much for me, but this is starting to confuse me. I just want to know whats wrong.

[dsyxelic]

tell her to stop.

that's overdoing it

if she doesn't stop, i guess you have a problem
if you guys have this trust issue your relationship won't work

[obs3ssive]

hmm it could be because you just recently put a password on your computer that she suspected you have something to hide.. I check my bf's phone when text messages come up sometimes and then let him know just cause I am bored or his phone happened to be closer to me than him while he's busy..if it's something that is getting out of hand lately you should confront her about it nicely. Just ask her why she's been acting that way lately and reassure her that there's nothing to lose trust about.

[KittyAngelF4]

well i think since you said you guys have been dating for 2 years now...she's probably in that questioning phase of it all. with everything that happens in society, she's could be worried that you've gotten tired of her now, and that you're looking for something/someone else. whatever is causing her insecurities, you gotta let her know she can't just invade your life like that. tell her there's got to be a sense of trust for the relationship to work and she's got to work past her insecurities. let her know you've never done anything to hurt her and that you love her(if you do that is) and that she's got to push past whatever doubts she has to make it work. what if you had a list of things you wanted to get her for her bday/christmas on your computer? or you were planning a surprise for her with one of her friend via txt message. she wouldve ruined it. let her know theres a fine line between sharing info and digging through info.

[meliawy]

hmm it could be because you just recently put a password on your computer that she suspected you have something to hide..

Yah. It will be quite suspicious don't you think? Did she start checking the messages on your phone AFTER you put a password on your computer? If that is the case, then I think your password protected computer kind of started off this whole chain of events. You both need to talk!

If she started checking your messages even before you safeguard your computer, then it may mean that there is something in the relationship that she is obviously insecure about. It may be due to the women sixth sense thingey, sometimes it does get rusty and go off-course, you know? So maybe right now she is just unsure of whom to trust... you or her gut feeling. You both need to sit down and talk!

You mentioned that she is avoiding the issue, it is most likely because she herself is frustrated since she does not know what to believe or think. It is also important to know that this can be a VERY touchy subject for some people, so maybe you need another way to try and approach her? Like, never ever be confrontational about it, even if she were to avoid the subject, be firm about it and stick with it to show her that you are being serious, don't raise your voice and try not to show her that you are frustrated by her unwillingness to talk.

Instead of being blunt about it (ie: "why are you checking my phone?"), be a little softer around the edges and put it across in a way such that she would not feel like as if you were attacking her (ie: "I noticed certain things that you did lately that makes me worry, are you ok? Did I do something wrong? Because it feels like I am doing something wrong to you and I want to fix it") Yes, sometimes, you do have to put aside your male ego and pretend to wave the white flag...

If she pretended not to know what you are talking about, you can probably give her another push or two by telling her what about her actions are bothering you (ie: "when you start checking my phone, when you get angry with me over the smallest things... I've given it a lot of thought and I still cannot figure out if I have done anything to make you not trust me") If she continued to be adamant about it, don't be angry, don't lose your temper... just let go (ie: "ok. I just want you to know that I will be here when you are ready to talk... e-mail or text or by phone.")

Just a suggestion. Sorry, that's all the advice I've managed to come up with for now ):

[SoXee]

LOL! it sounds like shes pmsing!

[abercrombie_lover]

I think you should tell her to stop or have a talk to her,
maybe she feels insecure since some girls are like that,
they want to make sure that nothing is going on or if you're
cheating on her..etc.

[riceavocado]

I think its really annoying with a gf tries to look at my stuff, its an invasion of privacy, and since relationships should be based on trust, I think this kind of behavior is signaling problems in a relationship.

[abusegirl]

It means she isn't ready for this relationship. She has issues she needs to deal with on her own before she can be sane with you.

I personally have never looked into any bf's things. It's a serious invasion of privacy and basically throws any trust we have back in his face. Completely disrespectful.

[sushiwhore]

my bf and i have bothof our paasswords and i occasionally look through his stuff he does the same to me

[colourfool]

I don't want to scare you, but I heard somewhere that when your s/o gets suspicious that you're cheating, it's because they're cheating and think, "if I'm cheating on him, maybe he's cheating on me too." But thats just something I heard.

My friend used to check her boyfriends phone when he goes to the washroom and stuff. They would get in fights, but he would always reasure her she had nothing to worry about. That he had nothing to hide, by showing her his phone himself. Maybe your girl just needs some reasurance?

[koneee]

wtf your gf needs to get a life.
My boyfriend never gives me his PW -__-; I don't even know why he's so scared, it's not like I'll do anything stupid (like post a dumb picture of him on facebook heh heh heh).
But I tell him all of my passwords, because I could care less. I have nothing to hide from him, except if there was a surprise or something.

But if you definitely feel uncomfortable when she checks all of your messages and etc, let her know.

[blush]

nope lol. i trust him completely.
i have his myspace though LOL.
he just gave it to me.

[fuuko-chan]

I do know my bf's passwords and he knows mine.
But we don't frequently open each other's accounts. o__o
That'd just be so untrusting of each other. We know
we don't have anything to hide so... *shrugs*
I guess your gf got suspicious over something.

[Rekidai]

oh wow i just ask my bfs pass and he always gives it to me lol but he doesnt trust me on some stuff so he doesnt give me the pass and i respect that lol. just ask her why she wants to know. honestly just talk to her about it. i always read my bfs text but i always ask him before i do lol and just tell him about new text.

[hirotoki]

me and my bf knows eachother's pass but we dont do much on eachothers accounts anyways
he thinks mine is too boring but i sometimes check his txt just out of curiosity..he doesnt mind

[mz simmonz]

lol. sorry for laughing but you really sound like my friends. the guys is laid back, the girl acts like a paranoid freak lol. she goes through his phone, facebook, AIM log, gchat log (until he clicked the "off the record" option lol). the reason she's like that? baggage. a whole truckload of baggage from past relationships gone wrong with jerk ex bfs that cheated/lied/were shady. but don't put the blame all on her past. it may also be a big part of her personality but the bad experiences worsened it..some people are just very insecure and um..nosy I guess..and perhaps some character traits you have may remind her of guys that are capable of cheating/lying/being shady? I'm not saying you are, I'm saying maybe in her mind, you are cabable of being so. It's not entirely your problem..there's only so much you can do to make a person feel loved and secured. In the end, it's up to them to be more mature and learn to trust.

As for me, I was also insecure and nosy enough to look through my exes' texts and AIM logs. What I found really angered me because there WERE flirtations going on. Buut I didn't have the guts to confront them and admit that I invaded their privacy so I just picked fights all the time.

[tammy05]

I am simply a curious person. I don't look through things expecting to find something. I just look around, I've looked through friends phone. I just go hey Ima look through your phone, usually they got nothing to hide. I don't care if my friends look through mine, if I had something personal on it, I would have told them not to look. Same applies to my sig other.

[XtremeNuisance]

I'm sorry if this sounds really far fetched or whatever, but I heard a Dane Cook joke the other day and this made me think of it since you said this is the first time she did it..... He was talking about how he cheated on his girlfriend or whatever and then, even though he was the one that cheated, he was the one getting paranoid that she was cheating on him.

But yeah. Far-fetched. Like someone said earlier, it might be baggage. I read somewhere (I think it was one of those crappy MSN romance articles) that when we (females) start getting comfortable around whoever it is we're dating, we start to try to find something wrong with him instead of accepting that he's awesome or whatever. XD I should find that article... lol.

I wish you luck,either way. :/

[Inspector]

Wow! So many different responses already! Thanks everyone for your input..! I didn't really get to go into detail what was happening since I had to go to work but... okay...

It all started a month ago. For some odd reason she was being all ... whats the word... "physically affectionate" I guess... NOT that I was complaining... believe me I'm not. Then the thing with the green onions! Well she was sleeping over my house that night and ask me to get her a baked potato. I bring it home... it has green onions and then somehow I'm the horrible guy that does not care. You know girls should be pampered... but she NEVER act like this before. In fact... she never even ate a damn bake potato before! So how would I know they put green onions in it? AND I just got home from work.

Then one day I put the password on my computer. NOT because of her... but my other family members like my little sisters. When she ask for the pw I gave it to her right away. Not like I was bargining.

She seems a bit clingy lately... sometimes I come home and shes already in my bed.


I love this girl. We went through a lot. And she did so much for me, but this is starting to confuse me. I just want to know whats wrong.


I guess I really should of waited to post the whole question in detail... but ahh I had to go to work... and I just wanted some opinions. I guess I will go back and add this part.