[babybuggyY2K]

edited a note from me: i AM DISGUSTED. i DO feel for the other girl. just i didnt mention it because i am already caught up at the fact that i'm THE OTHER WOMAN for a goddamned half a year. it's not like i knew it and did it on purpose. and NO i am NOT SELFISH. if i was selfish i would've gotten back with him and be all in her face like 'hey your bf was sleeping with me while you were earning your degree and working for him so he can spend your money on me.' IN FACT i called him yesterday after i found out to ask him and curse the poopy out of him...and he still didnt admit anything about her. i did not mention the letter... i didnt even wanna talk about the letter. it was just fckd up.


hey guys i think some of you might remember me and my other threads related to this topic.
yea i'm the one who had boyfriend who proposed to me, gave me the first glance of materialistic luxury of life,;
he said he had business trips to go on for weeks sometimes, and i didnt have SOLID proof that he cheated on me ...

ta-daaa! it all revealed. yesterday i had to go back to his home because i realized that i had left my passport at his house and i needed it cause i was planning my trip to canada alone. he wasnt there. his family was there. as i collected my belongings, i stumbled upon this letter. from his girlfriend of 6 years ... not four years like he told me.


31 July 2008

dear ____,

i am very upset. why'd you take more money out of the account? you are using too much money...my money!
at the beginning of the month i had over $3000 in the account, now i only have $400... i only used about $300 for your bills. this is crazy... i am working here in cuba like a dog and you are going out and having fun and going out to dinner and bars with my money and spending my money on your car and i pay for the insurance. i am very upset.

i want to save money and get rid of my debt that you created.

what do you think i am? that i am made out of money? i am not a money tree,stop shaking me for money.

i think about if i should buy things because i am trying to save money. you dont think. you just spend. i am trying to save money so we dont have to live paycheck to paycheck. i dont like that feeling. but it seems like you really dont care. you dont care about our future; you just want to have fun, now. you are not thinking about our future. i am working and working on my degree so we can have a better future, i can have a better job after i finished this mission. the only reason why i took this mission is because i can get more money. but it seems like the more i make, the more you spend.

all this talk about getting married next year, i dont believe you. you need money to get married;i dont see you working towards that. all you care about is yourself and how other people look at you. do you ever think about me or us? do you know how hard this is on me? i am so far away from home and i feel so alone. this mission is very hard on me physically and mentally. i dont know if i want to stay together with you.

you make me feel like you are with me because i am just here. i am here to bail you out of anything and everything. i feel very used. i dont know if you love me or you just say you love me. i am always thinking about you. are you happy, sad, safe, drunk, in an accident, are you dong something wrong or what? every moment of everyday, you are always on my mind. but i dont know if you feel the same way about me.

you used to make me feel loved, happy, that you will protect me from everything and very lucky to be with you. but now i dont know. maybe it is because i am so far away. but i dont have that safe feeling from you anymore.

i dont know anymore.

love _____

afterr i read this i couldnt give any reactions to anything. i just stood there so still. for the whole half a year i was the other woman. and he was using all her money on me. it hit me hard then. they didnt break up. he discussed marriage with her and proposed to me . he even said he would introduce me to her and that when she gets married we would go to her wedding together. is he pretending and saying that because he knows that in the end i'll refuse and say that i trust him??... that if i actually gave him another answer that he did not expect and say that i want to meet her, he wouldnt have the balls to do it? and then all sorts of things floated through my head.

like...

...could it be that he's only with me cause she's far away on a military misson for at least a year. and that when she comes back he's going to go back to her and they're going to get married and invite me to their wedding? i remember him once telling his guy friend who was cheating on hiss girlfriend that not to take the second girl so seriously, stick with the first woman.

... or is it that long distant relationship had his heart changing. he's only sweet talking her aout marriage so he can look good in front of me. but if he really did care so much about her and marrying with her he wouldnt be using all her money on me. and he mentions getting married with me just before she comes back from her mission. does he want to play it off like she just faded away? and he even mentioned moving out with me so that no one can find us again(meaning her?)

... but come on how can a 6 month relationship beat a 6 year relationship??

help!! i dont need to hear that he is a jerk, dont go back to him or whatever. i just want to hear your opinions on whats going on and what he might be thinking. this story is too disgusting to tell to my friends, so i'd rather hear it from strangers. thanks guys.

btw i copied the letter from word to word. since i dont know the girl and have no contact with her, i'm hoping of the slim chance of her reading her own letter... i want her to know whats going on.

[xLionHeartx]

Sounds like he's just playing both of you like a bunch of fools. He sounds like a really twisted fellow, either lonely or just straight up fu*ked up. He's probably using you just for the time being to keep you strung along while the other girl is floating out in the Caribbean. If anything, I'd get the hell out of this situation asap and call it quits. This kind of thing isn't good if you keep it in much longer, I'd also probably contact the other girl as well and let her know.

[suki_*]

after reading your numerous posts about this indecisive boy, i think you know the answer long ago that he's not worth your time and effort.

just leave him and stop trying to convince yourself that he's going to change for you. There's even evidence now.

if you still love him i don't see why you are asking other's opinion on this or posting personal letters about him. if you want to be with him all you can really do is turn a blind eye to his infidelity and accept him for who you think he is. if you want to leave him then just leave him, this situation is already as messy as it can be if you want to stay then stick to him if you want to leave then leave.

there is no opinion that matters more than your own on this situation. tell the girl, sort things out and leave him. and if you want things to be more complicated turn a blind eye and pretend that you didn't see any of this.

if he used any of her money on you i would feel like crap even more.

the only thing that's going on is you. you weighed the pros and cons you have been confronted with drama in a span of 6 months.

You do not want to let go
You do not want to accept the truth of this relationship
You do not want to leave him
You do not want to convince yourself to stay with him even for all the things he has done so far
You want more drama

sorry to sound harsh, but this problem is really just your problem that you have magnified when you could have already avoided him initially when you first found out his intimate relationship with his ex girlfriend long ago.

[Emerald Snow]

Even if he really does like you more than he likes her, who's to say that he won't do the same thing to you? How can you even think about trusting someone like that? To be honest, he's playing both of you. He's having you around in the meantime since he's lonely, so he needs someone to pass by his time with.

[sushiwhore]

i think that letter is already enough proof for you to knwo that he's not worht your time or her time o_o

[Trinity <3]

wow.

honestly in my own opinion.. i think he just wanted you around because she was long distance.
you can't ask us or ask yourself who he loved most, who he cared about most, and who he was playing.

you just have to drill it in your head that, he was playing you BOTH.
most likely, you for the sickly pleasure of being tended to, and her for money and god knows what.

if i were you though, don't tell him you found the letter, don't tell him that you know
tell her, try to get in contact with her.
this may be a bad idea, but who likes being lied to for what.. 6 months?

[her_heart]

Don’t you feel ashamed after reading her letter? Using her money? That wasn't even his! On the other hand, him at all! It’s really her that’s buying all the things you like...not him? I don’t understand why you would want to be with someone who has been living a double life. Obviously, he's been keeping this for a long time and still hasn’t told you? Do you know that he is stealing? And you're here wondering if he still loves you.

I don’t think there is anything else to say because one he still has feelings for her in previous post. Two, they really aren’t broken up and yes you are the other woman. You even said it yourself that they weren't really broken up in your previous posts. He may love you but he loves her too. How do you like being the other woman though?

Im just wondering why you’re asking all these questions? Just leave him be and move on and try not to care anymore. Who knows what else he could be lying about right? You think his whole life was honest? I'm sure he means running away from her after jacking her sht and dropping her heart in the garbage. I'm sure he'll go back to her since you're gone or vice versa. So why don't you ask yourself why do you love him or even want to be with him in the first place. i agree with suki.


Theres your evidence, so quit trying to convince yourself. Id let her know if I were you.

[RawrRawr]

Reading that letter made me hurt so much for her.





Like, wow.

[manlytoe]

Reading that letter made me hurt so much for her.





Like, wow.

that was exactly what i wanted to say.

[seryberry]

i FEEL SO BAD for the other girl

on the other hand, you r starting to disgust me. yes u are the other women, you were the "side" she was the "entree".
how old r you anyway???

this guy is seriously not all there in the head, you need to jus move on.

if it were me, reading that letter i'd be taking a hiatus, and doing my best to move on and what's good for me.

[miika]

YOU
are
selfish.


It was a 6 month relationship for you, but what about his other girlfriend? She was basically his bank while he flaunted you around... It must suck 50x worse for her kay. This guy's a douchbag (i'd say something worse if soompi didn't have censorship). GET OVER IT, move on, and hope that karma bites him in the ass.

Oh yeah, tell her about what the guy did. He doesn't deserve her.

[Cheri.B*]

I don't get why you need someone's opinion on how he would think when obviously he use his girlfriend of six years money on you.
Shouldn't you even think about how that girl feel?
No one want to be used and taking advantage just like what your boyfriend did...Using her hard earn money on you.

You're just going to make the situation even harder on yourself, your boyfriend, and the girlfriend if you just going to stick around.
Plus your luxury life is a lie because that money isn't actually from him but her.

[AngelsKiss]

why would someone even propose to another person after only 6 MONTHS of dating.... he probably seemed willing to commit to you only because he knows his real girlfriend is not happy and is seriously considering breaking up with him which also means a cut in his money supply. yaa you should just leave him.. hes gonna do to you the same he did to her. that poor girl dedicated her everything to him do you really want to end up with a broken & used heart?

[KareBear]

Wow everyone give her a break. In her other post she mentioned that she broken up with that bubble gum so there's no point of bashing her now.

Your ex-boyfriend is truly a disgusting man. Playing two girls at once and spending one of his girl's money on the other one... Wow... I would feel disgusted just knowing that money was spent on me.

I can only imagine what he's thinking since I have met some very twisted people ... It seems like he just cares about what people see him as. Maybe he wants to be the guy who can screw two girls at once and make other guys like "damn, he's good. I want to be like him" He spent a lot of money on you so you'll think "wow, he's a great guy" and your other friends would be jealous and want a guy like that too. Whether he became serious with you later on or not- I'm not sure. He might of stayed with his ex because he did have left over feelings for her or she's just an easy way to access free money.

As for his girlfriend... I feel deeply sorry for her. You should try contacting her... Although he hid her for a long time there's some ways to track her down.. Like email, phone number(since his father still doesn't know about the 'break up' with him and her he might know) myspace, family members, etc. Although it might not be something she wants to hear, it's best letting her know how fuked up her boyfriend is. He should know better.

[aznshordy]

i think u should:
1. find that lady's address thingy DIG IN THE TRASH IF YOU HAVE TO
2. tell her. i think it's unfair for her too. and tell her to close off that bank account to him. using up all her money. pfft.

it's hard. but. i really think you should cuz she deserves to know

p.s. you should kick him in the balls. and stay far away from him after.

[hmong_lubpaj]

lose the guy...like seriously...things could go bad (relationship wise and legally too).

[simplii_forevah]

he's just using the both of yous! and what kind of guy uses his gf's money? usually it's the other way around anyways, track her down and tell her
e v e r y t h i n g .. she deserves the truth, and then you two could gang up on him and beat his sensless

YOU
are
selfish.


It was a 6 month relationship for you, but what about his other girlfriend? She was basically his bank while he flaunted you around... It must suck 50x worse for her kay. This guy's a douchbag (i'd say something worse if soompi didn't have censorship). GET OVER IT, move on, and hope that karma bites him in the ass.

Oh yeah, tell her about what the guy did. He doesn't deserve her.

that was a bit harsh don't you think?

[GOOMBA]

Reading that letter made me hurt so much for her.


Like, wow.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

[GOJIN]

LOOKS LIKE WE GOT A CONMAN IN DA HOUSE!
if your story holds up, and he is really behaving the way he is,

then dump him.
that is my opinion.

and this is what i think he is thinking:

"Damn, she looks promising. I wonder how much I can con from this one, along with the other two."

[ChouChou]

help!! i dont need to hear that he is a jerk, dont go back to him or whatever. i just want to hear your opinions on whats going on and what he might be thinking. this story is too disgusting to tell to my friends, so i'd rather hear it from strangers. thanks guys.

...um our opinion is that...he's a jerk
lol...there is no other answer
i suggest you leave him
and if you wanna be a good person...write to that girl and tell her everything that went on whilst she was away
and hope that she's smart enough to leave him aswell
omg i can't believe she was with him for 6 years whilst he was spending all that money and she still couldn't see that he was using her...