[아이돌FAN]

All my life (Im 15 now) I've been so shy that some people thought that I was mute
Its been a few weeks since school started and I havent made any new friends. Im the girl that just sits their saying nothing and laughs/smiles when someone cracks a joke. My lab partner told me that his friend (cute) who's also in my class likes me... and I was just like 'no he doesnt' and later that guy comes up to me and starts talking to me and im just like so quiet and awkward so he left =_= for the next few days he tried to get my attention and i was too shy so i ignored it So the hot guy found himself a gf - thats not shy and seems like a fun girl.

Im actually really loud and fun around my old friends but im always so boring and non-social around new people and esp. guys :/


How do I break out of this 'shyness' and gain more confidence, so that I can make more friends and stop being a shy-quiet-awkward girl around guys?


[edit] on 9.26

I'm still shy... but not as much as just a few days earlier!

At school I got partnered up with a girl who's in the "popular/cool" group and of course I was intimidated... She and I finished really quickly on our group work and after we were done, there was a good few minutes of [awkward] silence... and I got the courage to just say "Hey, you're in my 7th period class, right?" and yeah from there we talked about our teacher, the class... and after we were done talking about that, which took about a minute... it became silent and awkward again...
- But I'm still satisfied with myself

I'm also starting to talking a lot more to people in general.

I still need to work on it though.. and being awkward around my crush is still the same

But what helped me most was to gain confidence in myself and just seriously forcing yourself to say something, and not giving a damn about what other people will think about you... and this sounds weird but when you feel like you don't have the guts to say something, if you straighten out your back and lift you head up high - you get this weird rush of confidence [it really works!]

[daulism]

awww, that sucks.

hmmm, i've been in your situation before, & i'd say that you just HAVE to be yourself. (i can not express that enough.)
true, i still can be the 'quiet one' in class but when someone approaches me i just talk like i usually do with my friends, but just a tad bit quieter, & more respectful...

really, you shouldn't push yourself to be the 'outgoing' one. after all, if you're the quiet one nobody suspects you of doing bad things +_+ just take it one step at a time!

maybe you should talk this out with your friends, it always makes things feel better

[CitrusFlower]

Hahaha. You remind me of me. Well, I'm not shy but I'm quiet but mostly because the high school I go to everyone knows each other so they already and friends and so on leaving me who knows no one what so ever and I have no one to talk to in class so I'm always quiet. I do have friends but their not freshmen ><" erm... well it's not that bad being shy. I was extremely shy in 6 grade but I still manage to get friends so give it time. It took me like a month or so to have like official friends to hang out with. If someone comes up to you just answer their question and stuff, you don't nee do have a conversation but the least you can do is answer them and so on

[Nerdy]

The only thing you can do is to rewire your entire mindset for people in general. Don't distinguish between new and old friends and strangers. Learn to be comfortable with people in general and you'll reduce your chances of freezing up when the next guy comes along.

Just remember that if he doesn't get the idea that you're responding positively, any guy will think you're not interested and will move on. You're only 15, though. You've got years to make things different.

[tofu plushie]

I am kind of like you, really shy. Except, I am uncomfortable with awkward silences so I break the silences by asking the person I am talking to a lot of questions.

Maybe you just don't really talk about because you don't want to say the wrong things or embarrass yourself when talking to new people but, you should show interest and listen to what other people say than ask them questions just based on their interests or relating it back to yourself. I understand how you feel because I enjoy listening to other people so most of them I don't talk a lot. But, if some shows interests and talks to you just listen to what they are talking about and just ask questions to continue the conversation.

Also, just have confidence in yourself by saying you are an unique individual and not someone who is just quiet and awkward. Be positive and be yourself^^

[MNLV27]

i was just like you..well i am still like that but when someone comes talk to me and if its like not awkward or anything then i talk to them about watever...somehow people always thought i was the quietest one in my class....but then the people that knows me are like whatever, she is soo not the quiet type..lol...

it sucks that you let him get away, you should have just talked to him, because it wasnt like he was going to bite you or anything...but its ok, you still got time to break out of the shell..and theres always other guys..so sweat it, just be confident like the others said...

[yamaki_LOVE]

OMG I'm lyke you T-T & I'm 17 in a new skooo & I'm just quiet as a mute person =x sucks too I miss my old friends can't believe I left `em T-T & I'm a senior boo hoo mee! When you try n talk to someone they ignore you that's what sucks for me & I guess my appearance as well >.< hmpp

I do open up to people & I guess confidence !!?? Lyke actually make convo or something.

[Sunshine 60]

I understand how you feel, I used to be extremely shy. Still am sometimes, huh.

It's hard especially when the situations you're in don't exactly call for social behavior (like class time) or when a common attribute/theme/etc can't be laid out (other than...location).

I remember, breaking out my shell took the efforts of other people, it was more than what I could do by myself. I joined a club/organization and I guess I was just lucky that the people in it were so friendly, hyper, energetic and forward that it eventually rubbed off on me. Even if I didn't talk a lot sometimes, they'd always come up to me and do very strange things O_o. Very friendly. It was Key Club by the way.

I also think having confidence is very important. I'm more friendly now that I take care of myself and have higher self-esteem. I'd suggest you do the same. You don't have to be shallow and superficial to think about your appearance. I find that it you can look good, you can mostly likely feel good as well.

And go meet people with similar interests like sports or books clubs make sure they're cool.

[thesisoflove]

omg. i wish i knew
i have the same problem with you.
i am very quiet around peopple i dont know..
but then LOUD as HELL with my friends.
>.> this is why guys dunt like me T_T;

[cutiek028]

Do you have any hobbies? Try to find people with the same hobbies as you. It's a lot easier to talk when you're talking about something you are passionate about or like a lot or do a lot or are very familiar with!

And also, give it some time...you'll meet people with group projects in class, etc. Whenever you get a chance to be social with someone, try to not seem too closed off. If you have a book open, people won't want to bother you....you know what I mean?

But I know it's hard...

OH! And if another situation arises, where someone approaches you, like that boy, and you freeze up, try to come up with some questions you can ask the person. Esp. about the new school (you are at a new school right?) or something popular on tv. "What did you do this weekend? I don't know any good place yet...etc." Plan out these questions now!

Oh, and I'm not too outgoing either, just to let you know. I'm pretty quiet...but I spaz out with my friends.

[I.♥_Y0U ;)]

I used to be awkward as hell around guys, I just don't know what to say & I'd feel so uncomfortable. I am still a little with new guys but after I made a couple of guy friends, I'm much better at talking to the male species in general.
Well you should try asking more questions and elaborate your responses. Joining clubs is a good way to meet people. =) But Good luck girl, you'll eventually make some friends

[Juli~<3]

oh my gosh i am exactly like you!
i cant seem to be myself around new people because i'm scared as to how they would see me >_<
but i'm trying to be more open around new people because i've just started uni. i think when push comes to shove you will have to open up and that way you can make friends and stuff. instead of just smiling i find it easier to add in a comment every now and again when people are talking and when i am with a person one on one i ask questions and stuff. i think that tries to get rid of the awkward silences and well, people love to talk about themselves lol
good luck!

[KanyeWEST]

grow a pair of balls, holy mini cooper.

[shakki]

haha
im like you
im really shy too
pinch yourself while talking to that person
it works.
well, it does for me
try it

[kimchi hana]

In the spirit of Nike, just do it.
You will never become comfortable unless you try.

[xDitslan]

grow a pair of balls, holy mini cooper.

LOL!
like everyone said. more confidence. you gotta believe in yourself. my friend is like that except she is NEVER loud or....i hate to say this.....fun. she has always been quiet since i've known her which is since 2nd grade. i tried to give her a makeover to boost her confidence level, but her "parents" said no.

[koneee]

Well, being shy will not help you succeed in life. How about that.
Seriously, you need to face your fears and throw yourself out there and people will be like, "hey, that person is cool and down-to-earth, maybe I should hang out with 'em." And after you make friends, you'll just feel more comfortable.

If you are not confident, PRETEND TO BE CONFIDENT. Trust me, it helps a lot. Appear confident and strut your stuff, who the hell is gonna hire someone or hang out with someone who isn't confident or has low self-esteem??
Who gives a crap about what people think about you because that's why maybe you a little shy, and do what you enjoy most and have fun with your life. Life's too short to live a shy life.

[ulquiorra]

I'm just like you, extremely around many people. I hate it at times cause i'm just so quiet at times T_T
I think if you were to break out of 'shyness' the best thing to do is try to talk to more people and you may just get better slowly ^^

[Blu_Velvet_Sea]

maybe you should go volunteer or work if you can. Put yourself in a situation where you have to be interacting with other people such as customers. Or even join a club of your interests. It helps a lot with building interpersonal skills. This is how I became more comfortable with speaking to strangers and random classmates. It won't happen over night, but as long as you keep trying you'll see progress.

[abviolinplayer]

I can totally emphasize with you...when I was in elementary school people though I was mute too...I seriously never talked. Now I'm a freshman in college, and I'm still shy (I think some people are just naturally introverted and will remain so for their entire life) but I have improved tremendously...so don't worry, you'll grow out of it eventually, but until then make an effort do do social things like join organizations and clubs, and just try to make simple conversation with people in your class, or even ask them a question about the homework or something. Don't worry, I promise you'll become more confident with time.

grow a pair of balls, holy mini cooper.

mommy didn't teach you your manners, huh?