[lucie*ren]

Hello everybody,
I'm with my boyfriend for more than 3 years now. We have a long-distance relationship and when I was in school I saw him every sixth week for 2 weeks. I live in germany so there is always vacation in a period of six week. In the beginning he was really nice to me and did nearly everything for me. When I cried, he was always comforting me. First I didn't really pay much attention on how good he treated me. And perhaps this is the price that I must pay for my ignorance. For more than a year we really argue often because of just little things. The problem is that I have the feeling, that it's getting worse. I'm sad neary every 2-3 days and I cry often because I'm really hurt from things he say to me. It's not like that he say " You're annoying" or something like that. It's just he is so clumsy in words. I know that he loves me and I love him a lot too. But I can't always get so sad. I tried to change me because I'm really sensitive. But it's so hard and I don't want to cry anymore. We laugh a lot too so it's not that we are not happy together. I think it's the distance that's the problem. We are talking through telephone every day, so there are a lot of chances to misanderstand the other part, because we can't see each other. When we are together we don't argue so much. He is doing civillian service at the moment, so we can't talk a lot. Next year in the summer we want to live together. It's still hard to wait. I really want to stay with him, but he's so often so clumsy and when he's in stress, he can't take care of me a lot. So I feel really hurt, because I do everything for him.

I'm sorry, it must be really confusing!

But I really don't know what I should do in order to make him realize that he must work on our relationship.

I just want that he fight for me, when we had an argument and understand how I feel. I tried to explain it to him, but he doesn't really understand, that I just want that he take more care of me.

Please help me, I really don't know, what I should do now. It's my fault? Or what shall I do in order to make him realize?

Thanks!!

[Villian]

well my routine usally consist of clicking on girl avatar

and check if shes hot when they post a topic about boyfriend troubles

i visited your website



and if hes this white guy next to your cute face, then relax babe

he aint goin where.

[1love]

www.blogger.com
or
Write a book, I'll buy a million copies.

[TammyHoang]

you don't need to change yourself for a guy.
Long distance relationships are hard work.
Maybe you should confront him, and tell him how you feel.

[Meenuh]

you don't need to change yourself for a guy.
Long distance relationships are hard work.
Maybe you should confront him, and tell him how you feel.

when it comes to things like what the OP is explaining .. i think those types of things are good to change. being overly sensitive is not always a good thing. it's good to be sensitive but it's not good to cry about every little thing people say to you.

first of all, i understand exactly where you're coming from. i have a temper ( not saying you do ) and i am very very sensitive too. my boyfriend and i have disagreements quite often but we both realized there are things we need to fix not just for eachother but to better ourselves as people.

i know that you want him to take care of you. you want him to tell you that everything is okay and that he's sorry whenever he gets angry. you can't just expect him to do that right off the bat. when i get into an argument i feel exactly the same way but we talk it out and in the end we both end up apologizing. if he's having a bad day .. don't add to that stress. help him cheer up. don't be sad just cause he's sad. i have that exact problem and i'm trying to fix it and we're doing pretty well. we still get angry but cool down for a minute or two and say everything that needs to be said that is on our minds. part of a relationship is being somewhat of a crutch for your partner. lift him up when he's down and he should do the same for you. you're there to make eachother feel better and support eachother because you love eachother. not sit there and wallow in your misery because he's having abad day and isn't all sunshine and rainbows.

don't hide the things you want to say (unless it's something stupid. don't say things out of anger or spur of the moment. everyone knows when it's the right time to hold your tongue ). communication is key. relationships are not these fairytale like things that we see on movies. they don't just happen. you don't just magically fall in love and things just click. there are trials in any relationship. it takes time and commitment and bettering yourselves not only for yourself but for your significant other.

eeesh i wrote a book. lol. i'll stop here. good luck.

[tbkonwso]

well my routine usally consist of clicking on girl avatar

and check if shes hot when they post a topic about boyfriend troubles

i visited your website



and if hes this white guy next to your cute face, then relax babe

he aint goin where.

roflmao... i almost fell off my chair

[Aziraphale]

Closed upon topic starter's request.