[jenesepas]

Maybe the 30+ will be able to help me on this. I've been doing something I hated since 1st year uni but circumstances have not able me to change career. I'm (supposed to be) a programmer but I knew I could never program, yet with a bit of luck I have been in this field for several years. 3 weeks ago I made the most stupid mistake in my working life. I resigned an easy job to take on a new one which at the time I thought I could handle. This job pays more but its taking a hell lot more out of me (which i didnt know when accepting it), long hours, too difficult and I've come to realise I'm not competent for it.

The problem is I just had a mortgage 4 months ago, and its a big one too. I cant just simply resign with the hope that I'll find something else, because it could take months. But in the mean time, I find myself crying everyday because I cant seem to get my head around thinking and programming. I guess in my previous jobs I've always done the easy stuff thats why I've survived so far in the wrong field and this job is actually the real stuff that any programmer should be able to tackle. Worse, the company expects me to learn a new programming language and be good at it in 3 months. Thats like double shot of poison for me. And then I cant change career because I dont have experience in other fields and if I go into entry level I wont have enough to pay for house and it'll be taken anyway

So now I'm stuck with a job that I cant perform and a mortage that I cant let go because that will bring my mom a heart attack.

If anyone has any ideas what I should do then please advise. I'm so lost and so depressed now sometimes I just wanna kill myself. I feel like I'm such a loser for not being good at anything, not having any kind of talents or any creativity that will allow me to do some money making on the side

Is there anyone out there who's like me?

[papabear]

Have you tried career counseling, and seeing what marketable skills you have, so that you can transition to a different line of work? How about doing a job search right now?

[Prot]

You should most likely make a checklist of things to do first to put some organization into what sounds like chaos.

1) If you seriously cannot stand your current job, as papabear said, job search immediately for fields you are capable of and would have more of an interest in.

2) If you are interested in getting a different degree for a job you would be much more interested in, you should find a part time job and study for that degree in the remainder time. My aunt did that when she was 30 because her CPA firm required that she get a graduate degree.

3) Programming is a task that involves thinking and designing a chain of commands to get a desired result. You cannot think if you are stressed out. Calm down, remember the goal of your task, and use resources at your disposal such as friends, books, co-workers, internet.

4) If you are proficient in a programming language, it should not be hard to learn a new programming language. Start fresh with beginner tasks of that language and work your way up again. The difference in most codes is simply a different form of syntax or different variables. Once you learn the basics, it'll be the same as programming in the language that you usually program in.

[chinkboye22]

i guess u could try and look for a new apartment for now as back up and then on your spare time find out what is right for your career

[Pogichinoy]

It's difficult to plan for these kinds of outcomes but it would be logical to get out of your mortgage since that adds to the cause of the stress. But that would be a worst case scenario.

An ideal choice would be to look for a job with similar pay in a different field of the same industry.

You've demonstrated the inflexibility of programming for incapable people. But take this on the chin and learn from it.

[BishieAddict]

Can you get your old job back? my father did something similar recently.. well it's not that he can't do it, it's just too much for him (cuz of the language barrier... he has to write a lot, and can't hack it). He asked for his old job back, but mind you, it's just a department shuffle... got a pay cut, but he's going to be a lot happier.

[watcher]

i think you should try to overcome it. 3 months is sufficient time to learn a new language, especially if it's still OOP style language. don't quit because you feel you can't do it. you can't grow if you don't push yourself and keep doing the easy stuff. challenge yourself and overcome it. because later on in life, you'll be forced into another different yet equally challenging trial, and you can't run away from that because you feel you can't do it.

to tell you the truth, i dont know your personal programming skill. im a programmer myself and i think it's possible for most people to learn and grow. if the basics are simple for you, the more complex you should be able to handle after a little bit of effort. keep pushing and try not to stress so much. programming's much easier when ur mind is fresh and not filled with worries. good luck

[SeX1eStAsaBa]

^I was gonna say the same thing.

There should be some kind of documentation or someone around the corner that can help you right? I remember I was in your same situation. It wasn't in programming, but networking. I stayed at my company an hour each day so I could read up on procedures and documentation cause I thought I was gonna explode cause I was a beginner. Overall it helped out in the long run cause I know much more than the people how have been there longer than me =).

[Pogichinoy]

^Yup, the foundations of programming is still all the same. The only difference is the syntax. Grab a book, I'm sure it cannot be that difficult. Cruise for now until you can transfer to project management.

[HtyPotter]

sorry dude. The only thing I can think of saying is don't give up on learning as much as you can about your current job. Maybe you'll get the hang of it.

[muta]

3 months to learn a new programming language is more than enough time.
Anyway, at my present job, I need to program in 4 different languages.

[watcher]

3 months to learn a new programming language is more than enough time.
Anyway, at my present job, I need to program in 4 different languages.

crazy... haha... i program in just flash/java. unless you count html/css as a programming language. i had to learn flash in 2 weeks. so i think 3 months is enough as long as you have programmed before

[duykato]

Yeah, like what watcher and others have said, 3 months is plenty of time to pick up a language. Read the book on it in like.. a week.. then spend the rest of the time applying the language.

[Chianna]

I think you've got it stuck in your head that you can't do it but you've only been in this job for 3 weeks, give yourself some time.

If you coasted in your last job and this new one is demanding more, I don't know how you trained or how programmers train at all but, go back over your old training. Remind yourself you do know how to do this, I don't see how you could have passed your training and stayed in a job for three years if you were honestly bad at it, build your confidence back up.

Despite what I typed above if you can't stand your job/career talk to your bank about the options with the morgage and resign. A low paid job to keep the finances rolling while you figure out your next move is nothing to be ashamed of.

[Laxntiga]

Im not 30+ but....

Sounds like you made a lot of big decisions too fast.

I am sure if you go through it with your current job, you will learn A LOT. Talk to your boss about it? Talk to company counselor?

If they cant help, you suck it up, learn the program and deal, if you can't... quit and find another 2 jobs to pay the mortgage?

I learned my lesson, never quit a job before finding another one.

[Shinobu]

If you can't learn and grow in this job chances are you won't be able to survive in any other job in the same field with the pay that will help you pay your mortgage. Unfortunately, programming is about learning new programs to keep yourself up to date. I'm not a programmer or anything but I dreamed to be one at some point in my life. If I didn't make a decision to take my last job (in a different field) but wait a bit instead, I would probably have become a senior programmer now. After so many years, I don't remember a damn thing.

[ganbatte]

Sorry to hear that. I've been in a similar situation before so I know how you feel. The important thing is do not panic or stress, it will only make it worse. I know it's hard but you need to keep your head clear.

They said 3 months but it is OK to take a bit longer. Long hours and stress is pretty common in software industry (at least at my company). I am not a programmer but in my company most programmers and QA engineers work long hours and under stress most of the time. I always see emails flying around at nights and weekends. You can try to learn programming and find a job at the same time - do both of them seriously like your life depends on it. 3 months is a long time.

Good luck!

[muta]

Yeah, I have to program in C++, C#, Java, and Visual Basic.
Will probably have to do some Perl in the near future.

crazy... haha... i program in just flash/java. unless you count html/css as a programming language. i had to learn flash in 2 weeks. so i think 3 months is enough as long as you have programmed before