[chinkboye22]

ok this is my old thread if yall remember http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?sho...94548&st=20

at the moment im trying to live life and do whatever i can to get where i want, despite still being in a rut for years
the things i really am pushing for is
- despite it being my 4th year in college, i am applying to better universities for my business program but the true reason is I want a new start, i want to dorm and get out of this crap place and start making new and good friends
- study abroad this summer in Spain to find out who i really am
- volunteer, give blood, donate money to Cancer funds etc..to
- join organizations or groups etc..
- chase after the girl i really want to get to know, this is the one i truly want, no matter you tell me how many fishes are in the sea or move on, i won't let that rare fish get away if its everything i wanted, and im not going to wait for something that might never happen, time flies im 21, its young for some of yall but look at reality

if u guys ever read my past threads, they all link to these topics
yes its a list to get where i want and i know i will always face new and difficult obstacles on the way
nothing is really stopping me except the girl but when i look at the consequences i may face and i wonder to myself " am i digging in a deeper hole for myself?"
2nd of all, none of this might not go through as it usually doesn't, even if the goals are realistic as i see in my past i have no real success in something i truly want

i fail and no matter how hard i try to prevent it, it just becomes a scar and i have no choice to accept it
i don't wanna to accept it and take it in the butt...sorry
there are unfortunate ppl and fortunate and i will do everything to be the fortunate, don't get smart w/ me, even in a way i already am
i know ppl here will say just graduate and get a high paying job and u good! thats a new start, no that is not to me, i look at many ppl like me like UglyisBeautiful and i can see that is where i will be if i continue like this and not take action and like i said on my last post, some ppl will be content w/ their life and just accept but i will not

im not sure what i really am asking in this thread/rant, my eyes are set on the goal which is really a new and better life aka social life, new friends, career job and to get to know that girl but i think i have blossomed too late, maybe it wouldn't be too late if i realized this 2 years earlier or before i became a freshman
i do read inspirational posts from watcher, Prot, and others which give me hope, but i keep ending back where i am or i am not getting any progress toward the ultimate goal, i end up back where i was, now working at mini cooper job getting paid 6.55 etc..nothing much has changed, i see the light but not getting closer to it

i would really appreciate a lot of good posts since a lot of yall are older than me and in the real world, HELP :|, im trying to an internal locus of control on my life but it's hard to see all progress washed away, and temp highs like drugs, hobbies, alcohol, and ignoring the reality will not get me ne closer to it

[cavil.]

The past is the past. The future is a new break. I've done a lot of things I regret, but I've turned things around a lot. It's important to know that things don't change when you don't change. This is the fact of life. Cut the talk and split to the action. People around you talk. People around you imagine. Don't blame other things because in the end, it can be controlled. When you fail, then boo the hell hoo. Just try again and shut up. Keep going at it until the world understands you really want it. People usually talk and easily lose themselves. Those people are suckers. So, go and do it. And don't look back.

That's life, man. That's life.

[Prot]

I'm not quite sure the question of this post but I'm assuming its

im not sure what i really am asking in this thread/rant, my eyes are set on the goal which is really a new and better life aka social life, new friends, career job and to get to know that girl but i think i have blossomed too late, maybe it wouldn't be too late if i realized this 2 years earlier or before i became a freshman

i would really appreciate a lot of good posts since a lot of yall are older than me and in the real world, HELP :|, im trying to an internal locus of control on my life but it's hard to see all progress washed away, and temp highs like drugs, hobbies, alcohol, and ignoring the reality will not get me ne closer to it

It is good that you realize temp highs will not get you closer to achieving goals in reality. As for progressed washed away, then you just have to keep progressing so that it doesn't wash away, so that it generates a firm structure. You have already listed your goals:

at the moment im trying to live life and do whatever i can to get where i want, despite still being in a rut for years
the things i really am pushing for is
- despite it being my 4th year in college, i am applying to better universities for my business program but the true reason is I want a new start, i want to dorm and get out of this crap place and start making new and good friends
- study abroad this summer in Spain to find out who i really am
- volunteer, give blood, donate money to Cancer funds etc..to
- join organizations or groups etc..
- chase after the girl i really want to get to know, this is the one i truly want, no matter you tell me how many fishes are in the sea or move on, i won't let that rare fish get away if its everything i wanted, and im not going to wait for something that might never happen, time flies im 21, its young for some of yall but look at reality

I'm assuming your goals generalized would be 1) Get good friends 2) Explore another part of the world 3) Join organizations to meet more people, expand your mind 4) Social activities also expand your range of people that you meet 5) Aim for a better business program to help you get a better start in your career and 6) Chasing after a girl

Well there really isn't much else to say but pursue your goals. If there is an obstacle, consider how you can overcome it to obtain your goal. Persistance is necessary, giving up is lose and stopping you from ever obtaining the goal. If you achieve your goal and it doesn't lead you to something better, ask yourself what would make the current situation better? And form a new goal, and repeat the process. If you don't repeat the cycle of generating goals, acquiring them, asking yourself what else would make my situation better, but instead you decide to stick with a situation you are not enjoying, you are essentially "accepting and taking it in the butt". Don't stop.

[watcher]

how do you end up failing? failure is a kind of feedback. what's it telling you, except taht you havent reached where you want to be? what does it say about your decisions? about your performance? about everything you've become up till this point?

[chinkboye22]

b/c it will all end up to be in vain, right now atm i feel like running away, maybe there is no way out and that is reality, its too late probably and i guess i will have to accept no matter how much fight i have in me

i'll explain tommorow, test to study for
i just feel like disappearing and hope is nothing but a lie to tell myself that everything will be ok

[SeX1eStAsaBa]

If you have time to complain, you have time to get up and do what you want to do. Takes some sacrifices. Drop out of college for a year and gain some experiences. Grow some balls and just do it. The best motivation is to get feed up with it enough to take the action.

I have said this before. I hated my job and that was my motivation to get the hell out of it. I change jobs, made new friends, and learn a whole new environment (I knew ish about my new job). I wanted to pay off my student loan real quick so I could make more money. I sacrificed not seeing my friends, eating out as often as I like, and not able to enjoy the money I was making. I paid off my student loan in 1 year and I'm hella happy and feel accomplished.

You only have 1 life and you should do what the hell you want as long as it can make you happy. I'm doing what I always wanted because I'm taking the actions needed for me to achieve that goal. You're young now but we know it doesn't last. Take the change and be HAPPY.