[feeshy1104]

hi people,


Sorry if this is a repetitive post, but I just joined today and have a dilemma which I can't get over. So, I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 10 months and its been wonderful. He's a little insecure about the guys I talk to even though they really are just friends. I don't know if this is possible, but I feel as though some of his insecurity is starting to rub off on me. About two days ago, I was looking through his phone and I found a whole conversation between him and this girl he used to have feelings for in the past. Now, I know this girl and she's the type of girl who's extremely flirty and always wants to have all the attention on her. They never dated, but she just recently broke up with her boyfriend. Simply put, I don't trust her. The text messages weren't extremely flirty, but enough to make me sad/angry and start questioning things. I told him it bothered me and he reassured me that I had nothing to worry about and that he loves me. That's all sweet and dandy, but it's still driving me crazy. I really would appreciate any advice.


thanks

[Meenuh]

if he loves you and sees you as the only girl for him then he'd stop talking to her. yeah selfish and possessive but you're not telling him to do it. he should do it without you having to tell him to.

[duykato]

Don't worry about it. Everything's going to be ok. This is where faith and trust is established and refined. If he's a good guy, which.. he should be.. cause.. well.. you're dating him. He'll be sure to stay in his boundaries. However, don't be one of 'those' girls that keep their boyfriends all to themselves. Nobody likes being caged. Humans were meant to socialize. It's just what we do. Besides, who are you to say who he can and can't hang out with? His mother?

If you trust him and I mean really trust him. You'd let him handle it on his own terms. If he does decide to cheat on you with her, then well... it was just a matter of time.. because if it's not her, it'd be someone else in the future. So you can either be psycho gf and demand that he stop talking to this girl and any other girls in the future you deem a threat to your relationship... or you can let love play its part and trust the guy.

If love fails, you'll hurt, you'll move on. If love prevails, your relationship will be that much more beautiful.

[GOOMBA]

It should just raise a flag in your head.

Just mention that it bugs you. & If your boyfriend doesn't stop, something's goin' on.

[wishiwsh]

It would be nice if we know what was in the text message. Maybe it isn't even flirty.

[mz simmonz]

first you have to decide deep down what you really want him to do. no matter what you don't want to turn into a pscyho paranoid gf. the only way to do that is to really trust him 100% and get everything off you chest that is bothering you. he should be understanding and supportive even if you have a crazy hissy fit or ask him to not speak to her as long as that is what you really want him to stop doing. if you happen to be OK with him talking to her, then that's fine as long as you feel completely secure after you release all your feelings to him.

[Gofishus]

hi people,


Sorry if this is a repetitive post, but I just joined today and have a dilemma which I can't get over. So, I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 10 months and its been wonderful. He's a little insecure about the guys I talk to even though they really are just friends. I don't know if this is possible, but I feel as though some of his insecurity is starting to rub off on me. About two days ago, I was looking through his phone and I found a whole conversation between him and this girl he used to have feelings for in the past. Now, I know this girl and she's the type of girl who's extremely flirty and always wants to have all the attention on her. They never dated, but she just recently broke up with her boyfriend. Simply put, I don't trust her. The text messages weren't extremely flirty, but enough to make me sad/angry and start questioning things. I told him it bothered me and he reassured me that I had nothing to worry about and that he loves me. That's all sweet and dandy, but it's still driving me crazy. I really would appreciate any advice.


thanks

You need to stop snooping around your bf's phone. How would you like it if you were texting your guy friend and he goes through your phone and accuses you of something?

[blink-]

You need to stop snooping around your bf's phone. How would you like it if you were texting your guy friend and he goes through your phone and accuses you of something?

Well, that's a little blunt. And wrong. What gives her the right not to? They're going out after all; there's SOME sort of boundaries they can past. But you're right about the accusing.

Don't jump into conclusions. Like wishiwsh may be saying, it really could be just a casual conversation.

Wait it out for a while.

[PhuongNguyen]

You need to stop snooping around your bf's phone. How would you like it if you were texting your guy friend and he goes through your phone and accuses you of something?

Why shouldn't she be able to read her boyfriend phone? This isn't some stranger that she doesn't know. If he got nothing to hide; he got nothing to be afraid of.

[duykato]

Why shouldn't she be able to read her boyfriend phone? This isn't some stranger that she doesn't know. If he got nothing to hide; he got nothing to be afraid of.

Because sometimes there's issues you don't want to get out.. For instance... another friend of mine could be getting my advice on problem that he/she wishes to remain private. I may have nothing to hide on my account, but that doesn't mean I want her snooping around through my e-mails, phone lists, reading other people's business. If she wants to look through my phone she can ask me first.

It's not a matter of having anything to hide. It's about respecting each other's right to privacy. What if your girlfriend's famiy was going through an issue where her dad wanted to become a woman and he didn't want anyone to know? (I think I saw this on Montell)

[masturyan]

Wait a minute...it's alright for a girl to snoop through their boyfriends private conversations including phone messages, texts, emails, etc? Wtf...are you serious? She has a right to invade his private matters?

[heyitzthatfc]

hi people,


Sorry if this is a repetitive post, but I just joined today and have a dilemma which I can't get over. So, I've been going out with my boyfriend for about 10 months and its been wonderful. He's a little insecure about the guys I talk to even though they really are just friends. I don't know if this is possible, but I feel as though some of his insecurity is starting to rub off on me. About two days ago, I was looking through his phone and I found a whole conversation between him and this girl he used to have feelings for in the past. Now, I know this girl and she's the type of girl who's extremely flirty and always wants to have all the attention on her. They never dated, but she just recently broke up with her boyfriend. Simply put, I don't trust her. The text messages weren't extremely flirty, but enough to make me sad/angry and start questioning things. I told him it bothered me and he reassured me that I had nothing to worry about and that he loves me. That's all sweet and dandy, but it's still driving me crazy. I really would appreciate any advice.


thanks

Well honestly, you didn't really ask a question so there's no advice to give. But we can give you opinions! It sounds like you're having a good relationship with your boyfriend, and just really think, from everything you've learned from when you knew him, does he seem like the type of guy to go behind your back?

Give him the trust, you want him to give you. You can always secretly be paranoid and just look closely for things, but I wouldn't go passed where you've gone already (snooping through his inbox on his celly).

[MaryMagdalin]

I have the same situation
except she texts him many times a day,
calls him all the time,
asks for rides even though she has a car,
hangs out with him................


um, I dont have the best judgement for these type of things,
I know what I have to do but i do the opposite(like I confronted the girl and had NUMEROUS fights with my bf about it... cuz he doesnt see anything wrong since they are just friends. Still an ongoing issuewith us.)

but... dont lookat his phone anymore.
if he`s going to do something shady,
then let that be on HIS head and not yours.
if he`s willing to jeopardize his relationship for you over her, then is he really worth it?

Wait a minute...it's alright for a girl to snoop through their boyfriends private conversations including phone messages, texts, emails, etc? Wtf...are you serious? She has a right to invade his private matters?

unfortunently this thread isnt about her morals or whatnot.

It should just raise a flag in your head.

Just mention that it bugs you. & If your boyfriend doesn't stop, something's goin' on.

well i dont think neccessarily if he STOPS there is something wrong.
he could just think she`s overly paranoid and sees nothing wrong so he will continue.

[moonk379]

this is the exact reason why ppl should lock their fones cuz if you couldn't read through his texts then this problem wouldn't exist =]

[GOOMBA]

well i dont think neccessarily if he STOPS there is something wrong.
he could just think she`s overly paranoid and sees nothing wrong so he will continue.

hehe
but he should respect his girlfriend.
she's upset about it, and he should reassure her that nothing is going on.
i mean, that's what i would do

but if he chooses not to, then obviously she means something more to him than just a friend.
so it's hard to just cut that connection.

then again, a lot of people value their friends more than their bf/gfs so, i dunno =)

[PhuongNguyen]

Because sometimes there's issues you don't want to get out.. For instance... another friend of mine could be getting my advice on problem that he/she wishes to remain private. I may have nothing to hide on my account, but that doesn't mean I want her snooping around through my e-mails, phone lists, reading other people's business. If she wants to look through my phone she can ask me first.

It's not a matter of having anything to hide. It's about respecting each other's right to privacy. What if your girlfriend's famiy was going through an issue where her dad wanted to become a woman and he didn't want anyone to know? (I think I saw this on Montell)

Uh sweety, that is OBVIOUSLY not the case. This isn't about his friend wanting him to keep some secret; this is about her boyfriend and the chick he liked flirting around on the phone. But hey... she shouldn't be "snooping" around right? Let's turn this situation into her fault? That's like telling someone not to ask where their boyfriend been and doing because that's an invasion of privacy... uh; no. I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I've always let him check whatever he wants; and likewise for him. He isn't some stranger where she can't touch and do anything she wants; he's her boyfriend.

[Inspector]

Well going through bf/gfs phone is between the couple. They decide if its right or wrong. Tell your bf that she makes you uncomfortable. If you trust him, then believe him. Now if he starts acting different and what not then you can start question. Other than that, go on with your life. Don't be all supicious, and snoop around and such. Trust me, I been through it... and its SUFFOCATING.

[Ayuu~]

an easy way to see if something was going on between him and that gurl is...
from the way he reacted when u confronted him about it....
when he found out u read the messages...
and u questioned about her....
was he more angry.. or was he more caring about u and hoping u dont misunderstand....
if itz the latter.. im sure he lovez u now as he sayz
and u should learn to trust him!!
if he was angry.. itz a sign that he didnt want u to know..
and a sign that he possily still have feelingz for her or soemthing...
itz like.. reading between the linez of thingz..

[yamaki_LOVE]

Well no one wants to snoop around boyfriend or girlfriend 's phone but it happens

Like my ex wouldn't let n e one go near his phone cause he still talks to his "ex " girlfriend ? & yeah

& idk bout my current boyfriend but he doesn't like it either but I told him if he does it to me then I can do it back xP

But yeah if he loves you he should stop there's like no use for him to even text this girl unless he likes her .. Cause if the texts is about something flirty then he's flirting back & etc ..maybee he likes her .. Idk guys say they like they're girlfriend all the time & love `em but who would know if they really do?? Right.. Well just some guys do =x

Hehe

^

And like the above said!!

[abusegirl]

first...look....it's not like he's your husband okay. really...you don't have the right to go through his things so chill on it. it always starts way too much drama.

second...trust the guy if you love him so much. she may be flirty and a hooker or whatever you wanna call her but she can't do a damn thing if he doesn't let her. trust him. otherwise there's no point in you being with him.