[zhuuzhuusoba]

Hello. =]

Um, okay, so my situation is... My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months now. I want to talk to him about some issues I'm having with him, but I can't seem to 'talk' to him. I've tried suggesting we talk, like, "Hey, let's get some drinks at Starbucks and chat." Then he just says, "Why? It's a waste of time." I was kind of hurt.

So I tried again. This time, I asked him, "Why don't you have texting?" And he told me with a grin, "Because I'm cheap." I don't know, but I really thought that texting would make talking much more easier, yet...he doesn't want to talk!

Even when he calls on the phone (which is rare, btw. It's always me calling, and even when I call, he's normally playing games on the computer at the same time), there are really long silences. I can only babble for so long. (It's seriously like a one-sided conversation because he says nothing of real importance. Just 'yeah', and 'oh, cool').

I don't know what to do! I want to talk to him about it, but I feel like we're not very close because he doesn't frickin' talk... TT-TT Help, please!

And just because I'm curious - am I being stingy if I'm hurt that he doesn't spend a whole lot of money on food? Like on dates (which are always movies, so he doesn't have to talk), he always suggests subway, and tells me to get him the same thing so that it only costs five dollars... I don't know, I don't mind it too much, but seriously - every time?! The one and only time we went to dinner at a place that costs more than ten dollars a meal was when I paid. However, the b-day gift he got me was costly, so...?

[vietboy90]

He dont have texting because he want's to spend money on the game and buy online items. he don't want to go to starbucks because he rather spend time on the game and training LOL.. kinda sounds like an old me, some excuses i would use.. but it sounds like he has his love for the game rather than you. get his attention with something like, "do you want to be with me?"

[ShadowMax76]

-skips making a racist joke-

o-O' mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.............................
....................................................................


it's not hard . he's just lazy.

i don't get how girls as lovely as you could fall for such guys like these...

;]

_ talk to him about it.
if that doesn't work, disappear from his life... and let him handle the realisation that you're gone. [felicityy's fic inspired]

+ or just spend time with other guys. see if he notices. lol. evil , but hey. o.O' experimental fun,.

[deportedkorean]

he probably doesnt call you because he knows you'll call him. he probably thought starbucks is a waste of time because you didn't make it known to him that you wanted to have a serious conversation...not "chat".


give him some time away from you...if he likes you enough, he'll start missing you.

[eximius]

There ARE guys who make games top priority... if not top priority, then it's a relatively high priority. And why not? They're fun, and it's a good time waster.
It's not that it's hard for him to talk to you... he doesn't know there's anything wrong because you're not making it apparent to him.
Just talk to him about it. Doesn't even have to be in person, since he'd rather play games. Ultimately... don't beat around the bush with him. If nothing changes, then now you know not to date full-time gamer guys.

[zhuuzhuusoba]

Hm... Talking to him about problems will be...difficult. It's okay if it feels awkward, right? ><

Thanks for the opinions/advice =)

[eximius]

Awkward = totally okay.
You haven't talked to him about issues you have with him before so... yeah, being confrontational for the first time will be strange.
Just be upfront and you'll be okay. It's better than avoiding the issue itself altogether.

[sus]

hes puttin no effort into the relationship
hve a talk to him
n yea if he doesnt change
go find urself a beetter bf

[littlejade]

err..... u paid for meals?? o_O ... why did u?? =___=
nooo!! dont do it again!! ~~~
he should be payin!! .. even if u dont mind!!
it seriously makes me wonder wot isit about him.. that u like?? ..

hes cheap & he doesnt talk 2 u.. either he changed? .. or hes very good looking??

wow.. how did a relationship like this lasted so long 6 months!! ??

sounds like hes 'using' u..for his own benefit!

nxt time ur with him.. dont bring ur purse! .. c if he would pay?

[L.FOR.LOVE]

talk to him about it
like if you tal kto him about it while his gaming, he will stop and liten to you --> if not forget about him
mm i wouldn't call ou stingy, just like yeah (;
there`s always other things you can eat for like $6-7 each xD
some guys aren't " talkative " people so yeah =/

[jnnfr]

Okay I don't know how things are b/w you and your bf, but anw, I think he's taking you for granted. Maybe you guys need some time to cool down abit, you know, sometimes relationships get a lil dull after some time. I guess he's at fault for being cold towards you (and errr, not willing to spend money), but it'll help too if you expect a lil less from him. Haha, that's the prob you see. Guys don't understand how girls feel and what girls want. Maybe he's just as troubled as you, you nvr know ! I guess at this point of time, either you might want to have a heart-to-heart talk with him and clear things up (you can choose to write letters if you're not so comfortable with talking face to face) or stop seeing each other for maybe like a week or so to let both of you spend some time reflecting about this relationship ? And perhaps, he'll realize how life is boring without you and he'll change his attitude after that week yeah ? Hope that helps.

Anw, cheer up ! ^^

[Carmen.]

...Has it always been like this?

Because if it has, then obviously he has not been putting any effort into the relationship since day 1, and in that case, I'd question about how serious he is about you. If he's not serious enough to talk to you, dump his sorry ass.

And if not, try to find a time when you both are available to talk (maybe just go out to like get ice cream), and just sit him down and ask him what's up lately.

[idiotsucks]

Hmmm..
That guy seems to be a little self-centred from what you described.
= /
He seems to care more of himself than you
Hmmm..
You gotta be cauntious.
= /
Try to tell him what you think/feel
Ask him to move like a guy
And stop giving stupiak excuses like bz playing games, no time to talk
And bluah..
I'm currently facing the same problem as you
My crush is a stingy croctch..
Bluah..
He has no cell phone as well
And sometimes it's really sickening to always be the one to msg him first on msn
Hmm luckily though he has learnt the lesson from me..
I told him to be the first mover sometimes if he doesnt want to be an introvert
Well, maybe you can try this..
My this crush,
his stupid attitude changed a little after I confronted him bout it
Tell him, it's no harm to call you first, right
After all he's the guy, you're the girl
= /
Girls are not suppoesd to be the first mover all the time
Guys should bear that in their freaking mind
= /

[Rykerz]

Just make it serious and clear to him that there is something you want to talk to him about not just random chat

The gaming thing is pretty bad if he puts it above you so much and its unhealthy for him as well, I myself use to game a lot as well but after being with my gf I spend more time with her and slowly gaming wont would seem more like a waste of time

some guys are just like that and you just really have to get it into his head that this is not good for the relationship and changes are needed

on the stingy part that is kinda stingy, does he have a job? how is his income and all, if he has a low income you can't really blame him too much

and to people above who said "err..... u paid for meals?? o_O ... why did u?? =___=nooo!! dont do it again!! ~~~ " seriously is a bf's job to pay for every meal? If your bf is the only one with a job then that is completely fine with it, but if both have the same or non income why does having a girl pay sometimes make it a total OMGWTF moment?

[chocobo_knight]

how did you get a relationship to last that long if talking is not the main thing??
i swear the main ingrediant to a good relationship is that the couple can talk about anything :S

[scatter_me]

^

Definately. You have to be able to voice your feelings out. Talk to him about it. It feels like you guys are drifting apart..

[jbigdog123]

Communication is the most important element in a relationship and without it, there isn't much of a relationship, which is reflected in your relationship.

Does your bf even want you? Like you? Sure doesn't sound like it (to me).

If I was in your shoes, I would tell him to put more effort into this relationship or it's over.

[~Tropical.Mists]

...Has it always been like this?

Because if it has, then obviously he has not been putting any effort into the relationship since day 1, and in that case, I'd question about how serious he is about you. If he's not serious enough to talk to you, dump his sorry ass.

And if not, try to find a time when you both are available to talk (maybe just go out to like get ice cream), and just sit him down and ask him what's up lately.

I agree! If he's always been like this, obviously he's not doing a very good job >_<
He's obviously not putting as much into the relationship as you (and probably doesn't care?)

If it makes you feel better though, my bf also likes to just play games alot XP
Besides poker and games, he doesn't do much else haha! But he's probably not as thrifty? He's willing to spend money like ALL the time and I'm the only telling him not to >_<

I think in your situation, you should talk to him about this. Tell him "I want to go out and have a talk." and say it seriously, not like a suggestion cuz then he feels no obligation to do it =P
I find that sometimes guys just don't get the message if you make it sound like its not important lol

--xoxo.
TM