We first dated in June, but before that, we only briefly known each other at a party. But we hit it off really well. Since it was summer, we had more time so we “went out” every day. He has the reputation of being a player but when I got to know him better, I realize that he was just putting up that front to cover his hurt from past relationships. I must admit, we had amazing physical chemistry. It caught him off guard because I wasn’t the type of girl he usually goes for. He broke up with his ex- of 2 years back in February. So he always reminded me that “we’re just dating because I won’t be ready for a relationship until the fall.” Even though we weren’t officially a couple, we sure acted like one.
Fast forward to the start of classes, both of us were busy with school and friends returned from summer vacation. When we dated, we never met each others’ friends and they don’t run in the same social circle. Then I left for a month for an internship but we chatted online. I was bothered when he said that he was pissed off that a girl had “rejected him” after leading him on. I couldn’t help wondering who this girl was and why she had more of an effect on him than I did. Even though we weren’t a couple, I knew that we were both free to meet other people. But that’s when I began to suspect that he might have been playing me the whole time out of boredom or to see if he could score. Hurtful words were exchanged online. I de-friended him on Facebook. I was convinced that we were “over” and probably couldn’t even be friends.
When I came back to campus last week, I ran into him at the library. Even though I was convinced that I was over him, when I saw him, my heart started racing. He asked if I wanted to go to his friend’s party with him. So I did and I met some of his friends (all girls). After looking at me up and down, one said, “Oh…so you’re (my name)”. Others asked if we were dating. I didn’t say anything because I was curious to hear his response which was a playful smile with, “nah, we’re just friends” or sometimes he wouldn’t say anything. Towards the end of the night, after a few drinks (but not trashed), we danced. He had danced with other girls and me with other guys but we were different when together. Hard to explain, but closer. When I was about to leave (before he did), we hugged because that’s what we’ve done in the past. But it wasn’t the usual quick hug before someone leaves. It was long and very sweet and sad at the same time and he kissed the side of my head.
Last night, there was another party. So I called to ask if he was going since he never turns down a party. And I thought we might be friends again. He said he might and will let me know later. He texted me saying he wasn’t going and just planning to stay home. He also said he probably couldn’t jog with me on Saturday (he had asked me earlier in the week if I wanted to) but we could do that on Sunday. Is he brushing me off? Or did something really come up that he had to reschedule? Or was he bothered by the other night? Or am I trying to create something that’s not there anymore?
