[tk81]

i guess i must be naive too. i just recently moved from sf to las vegas to be with my bf. well things didnt turn out so well. it will be our one yr next month and when i moved up here, the day after i found out he had cheated on me with his gf. they werent dating but they were having booty calls. they've slept like 3 times total but it just completely shook things up. i accidently saw email and she left her number and asked him if she could have another chance at being his gf and he said no because he already had me. but in the 2nd email i found out that they had sex and that he was saying that he would wear a cock ring(excuse my language) next time and while we were long distance i did mention to him that if he wanted to hook up with someone that it would be ok and not to tell me. but i didnt really expect him to do it u know? so i guess some of it was my fault but i didnt expect it to happen and when he was sleeping i called the girl and we talked. we talked a few times and if i didnt know what happened, she would ve been a cool girl to know. is that sick or what? i must be out of my mind. i asked her if she wanted him back and she said no but she wouldnt mind having sex with him again. so now im in a dilemma. what do i do? i cant actually go anywhere... he's been sleeping in the living room and being a good guy letting me have the room.i feel like he's it for me and this is just a little bump in the road.. he says he still loves me and he says we should just wait and give it some time. but im the type of person who needs to know. so he says we're just friends and that we should wait and we should just leave it alone. so ppl what do i do? any advice?

[jincx]

since you said that it would be okay for him to meet other girls, then you can't really blame him...but then again, if he's a loyal bf then even if you said that he shouldn't be messing around with other girls....i mean doesn't he feel any guilt having sex with another girl and at the same time saying he still loves you...which one is it??? i don't know about you, but if i were you i would leave him already...i'm not fond of cheaters...

[WildSevenGirl]

PUNCH HIM IN THE GOODS AND DUMP HIM.

[Lolololol, no, don't do that.]

Since you guys have been together for a year, you must be close with him.
Talk to him about it.
And if you get angry, get it all out. I mean, you have the right to.
I know that I would just get pissed off and not listen to him and do what I jokingly suggested you to do up there. xD

[Humilious]

i guess i must be naive too. i just recently moved from sf to las vegas to be with my bf. well things didnt turn out so well. it will be our one yr next month and when i moved up here, the day after i found out he had cheated on me with his gf. they werent dating but they were having booty calls. they've slept like 3 times total but it just completely shook things up. i accidently saw email and she left her number and asked him if she could have another chance at being his gf and he said no because he already had me. but in the 2nd email i found out that they had sex and that he was saying that he would wear a cock ring(excuse my language) next time and while we were long distance i did mention to him that if he wanted to hook up with someone that it would be ok and not to tell me. but i didnt really expect him to do it u know? so i guess some of it was my fault but i didnt expect it to happen and when he was sleeping i called the girl and we talked. we talked a few times and if i didnt know what happened, she would ve been a cool girl to know. is that sick or what? i must be out of my mind. i asked her if she wanted him back and she said no but she wouldnt mind having sex with him again. so now im in a dilemma. what do i do? i cant actually go anywhere... he's been sleeping in the living room and being a good guy letting me have the room.i feel like he's it for me and this is just a little bump in the road.. he says he still loves me and he says we should just wait and give it some time. but im the type of person who needs to know. so he says we're just friends and that we should wait and we should just leave it alone. so ppl what do i do? any advice?

There's the problem. How could you give him consent to do that?

[tk81]

i tired to talk to him about it and he says that we should just leave it alone for a while and give it time. i dont know what to think when he says that. and he's the type of person that doesnt really talk. im the talker out of the both of us and he says stuff that i wont be able to trust him anymore and things wont be the same. and of course i agree with him that things wont be the same but the trust can be rebuilt. i just dont know what he's thinking and i wish i knew. im alone in las vegas and thats why i moved out here to be closer with him... what does he mean give it time? and yes i gave him permission but i never expected him to act upon it. i didnt... it just feels like ive invested too much time just to throw it away and he gets pissed whenver i try to talk to him about it. so do i stop for a while? and what do i do about next month? do i even say anything about it?


yea i know it was stupid but i dont know i wasnt thinking i guess. so what do i do now?

[Daikirai]

and yes i gave him permission but i never expected him to act upon it.

Well, it doesn't really matter what you expected or didn't expect. You gave him permission, and that is that.

Even though you said it, I'm sure we all feel sympathetic for you.. >< I'd be mad as hell.



Give him a few days? Then maybe try to bring it up again.
In the mean time, cry in your sleep. Maybe he'll feel guilty.

[MNLV27]

to be honest, who in their right mind would tell their boyfriend that its ok for him to hook up with other girls?...
seriously, its your fault for allowing it, and his fault for actually doing what you said...
so you can really blame him for actually sleeping with her...

what you should do is by this month or next month either find a apartment to rent or just go back home..
dump him, and just go on with life...this is a lesson learn, at least you know that you wont be saying that stuff to your new future boyfriend....
hes not the only guy left on earth, even if it feels like hes it, feelings change remember that...

[PhuongNguyen]

Dude, I'm sorry but even if you did tell your boyfriend that it'll be ok to hook up with someone, he SHOULDN'T have done it. I say it to my boyfriend all the time, and he tells me to stfu because that's the dumbest thing ever.

[visuelz]

I believe your problem is that you guys moved too fast. Right now, you're stuck at a decision whether or not to leave him because you will either move out or stay with him. You'll feel a sense of insecurity if you move out so that's why you're hesitating and in denial.

[Torento <3]

You gave me what he needed to do what he wanted, permission.

Sorry, but it's not exactly his fault.

[KiLLAH!]

There's the problem. How could you give him consent to do that?

seriously :x i would NEVER let him even think about doing something like that :/
but the whole situation is kind of your fault since you gave him permission to mess around with other girls.
it doesn't matter if the relationship is long distance, i think that despite that couples should still stay faithful to each other.. but that's just my two cents.

you guys should probably break up. if you're willing to share him and he's willing to hook up with other girls multiple times.. it's probably not going to last or end up very well..

[Torento <3]

seriously :x i would NEVER let him even think about doing something like that :/
but the whole situation is kind of your fault since you gave him permission to mess around with other girls.
it doesn't matter if the relationship is long distance, i think that despite that couples should still stay faithful to each other.. but that's just my two cents.

you guys should probably break up. if you're willing to share him and he's willing to hook up with other girls multiple times.. it's probably not going to last or end up very well..

That's ridiculous! You can't punish someone for having consent to do it! Where is the logic in that? It's like at a shop and the owner goes "You can have this for free if you buy this" and as soon as you walk out of the store he/she calls the security/police for theft.

[abusegirl]

you my dear are not ready for relationships. plain and simple.

go back home. wait about a year and then look back on this and try to figure out what you learned.

as it stands you'll continue to get hurt and continue to completely blame yourself. that's like asking for all the assholes of the world to come to you. they feed off of that.

just go back home and leave him.

[simplii_forevah]

well like you said, it IS partly your fault too. but if i was in your situation, i wouldn't wanna carry on like that. cause for me, my boyfriend has to be 100% devoted to me.

[takemeaway]

are u guys in an open relationship or something?

i'd leave him
even though u gave him permission.. he doesn't seem to want to talk about it, nor does he feel guilty .....

[BabyDevotion]

sigh.. it is your fault for giving him permission. personally...
i wouldn't allow my bf to do that. and the fact that he actually went along and DID it...

i think you should just dump him. plain and simple.
go back home. from this.. you're just putting yourself in the position of getting hurt more..

[babigurl]

it is partially your fault..
but he should know better that he is in a relationship
and having sex with others is not right!

i don't know why you told him it is ok to hook up with others tho..
that seem a bit strange..

but if i were u
i can't look at him the same way any more..
cuz that's sick.. once is enough, but 3 times? yuck!
especially those emails and booty calls... ewwwwwwww!

I would dump his ass!

[Torento <3]

it is partially your fault..
but he should know better that he is in a relationship
and having sex with others is not right!

i don't know why you told him it is ok to hook up with others tho..
that seem a bit strange..

but if i were u
i can't look at him the same way any more..
cuz that's sick.. once is enough, but 3 times? yuck!
especially those emails and booty calls... ewwwwwwww!

I would dump his ass!

Out of interest, how old are you?

The use of 'yuck' and 'ewwwww' in regards to sexual based events shows you're lacking maturity.

Sex is not 'yucky'. We were born to do it. It is essential we do it to ensure the continuity of our species.

[eximius]

Don't give him the okay if you can't deal with it when he actually goes through with it.
It's hard to define it as cheating when you let him do it, too.

But are you two sexually involved with each other? If you want the booty calls to stop, I suggest you do it with him so he won't have any reason to call that girl again.
Sounds vulgar and lkfjasd but really, that's one way to get it to stop and still be with him. Besides, now that you live with him, he'll have all the sex he needs (hopefully).

[AL_NT_ATT]

your fault man; you gave him an opening and he took it. if you're gonna be so flexible, why should this be so confusing? you let him and he did it, what's the problem? one thing girls just don't get is don't say things that you don't mean because this is what happens. hope you learned your lesson 'cause it hurts to find yourself in a situation like this, you should know that even before but at least you know now.