[ajuhmah]

I posted this a while ago, and can't find the topic anywhere, so I'm re-posting it:

I am not sure how to start this. I am a 34 year old Korean Brazilian woman, and never have been married. I suppose I don't see myself getting married since I have been single up to this stage. I have dated a lot during my 20s. Most of the dates I have had were blind dates. My parents have set me up a lot. The majority of the men I met did not like me (like 95%.) It really affected my self-esteem because when you go out to these dates, you expect that you will be loved just as I have been loved by my own family members. My family members told me I had a beautiful body, face and personality. But these men have hardly ever shown any interest on me. I could tell by the way that some men would not ask me questions (and when I inquired why, they would say they knew nothing about me because I didn't open myself up,) another man would just sit and stare at the beautiful waitresses without talking to me, still another man said I wasn't their type (by the way, to date, I don't know what he meant by "type." I think that if you are beautiful and nice, shouldn't that be enough? What is this type thing?... Others would tell me I was too young as an excuse, and wind up marrying women much younger. And this guy, I remember of, would say that I seemed to already have a boyfriend because I was in a rush to leave. I met overall about 30 people so far that I have been introduced to (from girlfriends, parents, sister, family members, work colleagues and even the man who worked at a coffee shop at work.) The most intimate I have been involved from them were like six dates at the very most. I would love to have dated someone at work (and the only one that I remember being interested in me was a married person,) and due to some devastating life circusmtances (I developed a chronic illness during my late 20s and early 30s,) I was unable to work for years. This other divorced man also liked me from work, but I had no intentions or was/am attracted to him. I don't go out that often to meet people, but had tried in the past for a handful of times. The men I was interested in were all into other girls at church and other outing events. I don't know why they liked other girls as opposed to me (Was I not the charming beautiful nice person that my parents and family members said I was?...) For years, I posted my profile on eharmony.com and the only thing I received were rejections from the majority of men. The ones I spoke to (like about four out of 400 possible men, did not like me after they talked to me.) I wonder: 1) why are not men into me? I don't think I look monstrous, 2) why is it that when I talk when I meet with them, they all walk away? I, like, try to keep a conversation with them and am nice to them over the phone. When I meet them in person, I am a bit reserved and look to see if guys like me. If they do seem to like me, I kind of open up. Are there things I should or shouldn't say when I'm dating? I don't think I ever mention politics. I try to keep it intellectual, open-ended and polite... I like read tons of literature about what draws men off and I don't think that I say anything wrong to them...

[watcher]

I posted this a while ago, and can't find the topic anywhere, so I'm re-posting it:

I am not sure how to start this. I am a 34 year old Korean Brazilian woman, and never have been married. I suppose I don't see myself getting married since I have been single up to this stage. I have dated a lot during my 20s. Most of the dates I have had were blind dates. My parents have set me up a lot. The majority of the men I met did not like me (like 95%.) It really affected my self-esteem because when you go out to these dates, you expect that you will be loved just as I have been loved by my own family members. My family members told me I had a beautiful body, face and personality. But these men have hardly ever shown any interest on me. I could tell by the way that some men would not ask me questions (and when I inquired why, they would say they knew nothing about me because I didn't open myself up,) another man would just sit and stare at the beautiful waitresses without talking to me, still another man said I wasn't their type (by the way, to date, I don't know what he meant by "type." I think that if you are beautiful and nice, shouldn't that be enough? What is this type thing?... Others would tell me I was too young as an excuse, and wind up marrying women much younger. And this guy, I remember of, would say that I seemed to already have a boyfriend because I was in a rush to leave. I met overall about 30 people so far that I have been introduced to (from girlfriends, parents, sister, family members, work colleagues and even the man who worked at a coffee shop at work.) The most intimate I have been involved from them were like six dates at the very most. I would love to have dated someone at work (and the only one that I remember being interested in me was a married person,) and due to some devastating life circusmtances (I developed a chronic illness during my late 20s and early 30s,) I was unable to work for years. This other divorced man also liked me from work, but I had no intentions or was/am attracted to him. I don't go out that often to meet people, but had tried in the past for a handful of times. The men I was interested in were all into other girls at church and other outing events. I don't know why they liked other girls as opposed to me (Was I not the charming beautiful nice person that my parents and family members said I was?...) For years, I posted my profile on eharmony.com and the only thing I received were rejections from the majority of men. The ones I spoke to (like about four out of 400 possible men, did not like me after they talked to me.) I wonder: 1) why are not men into me? I don't think I look monstrous, 2) why is it that when I talk when I meet with them, they all walk away? I, like, try to keep a conversation with them and am nice to them over the phone. When I meet them in person, I am a bit reserved and look to see if guys like me. If they do seem to like me, I kind of open up. Are there things I should or shouldn't say when I'm dating? I don't think I ever mention politics. I try to keep it intellectual, open-ended and polite... I like read tons of literature about what draws men off and I don't think that I say anything wrong to them...

that's because your post got merged into the love and relationships thread:
http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?s=&...&p=11314959

forum rules...