[UglyIsBeautiful]

Whatever job or career you have.

When I was growing up, being the son of traditional Chinese parents, I was taught that career meant everything. What you do for a living is 90% of who you are. Now that I'm working, I look around at my boss and coworkers and they say otherwise. Work is important yes. But only so that you can make money so you can enjoy your life OUTSIDE of work.
Somehow I think the truth is where in between the two.

Sometimes I wish I could freeze time because the way I'm living life now is somewhere in between that of a student and an adult. I'm 25. I have a good job. I have my own place. My own car. I have no girlfriend. No family. No real responsibilities. My worries consist of how to cook that salmon for dinner or that scratch on my car or the dip in my investments for retirement cause of the US economic meltdown. Other than these things, I have no REAL worries. I love my job. I have a considerable amount of responsibility in my company.

There are people whom I've talked to who question the way I live my life. The fact that I've got no real responsibilities other than to do my job well. Like my coworkers who after a hectic day at work have to go home and figure out how to handle their kids' problems and figure out whats for dinner and things like that. The way they talk bout it sometimes makes me feel like I'm a bum.

I'm 25 now and I feel that the way I live is fine for this age but I obviously can't live like this forever. Human beings are always changing and supposed to make "progress", right? I don't like dealing with people too much. I have a few friends I am still close with and we talk and stuff but as for interacting with a wider range of people, I find it a big headache. It's cause people are always changing and becoming different. It's hard to keep pace with all that. Girls are even more complicated. They want a guy who is kinda bad boy-ish and exciting but also has an education and has a bright career future. Well sorry ladies but most of us can only accomplish either one or the other. Either we're this exciting bad boy whose gonna pump gas for the rest of our lives we're some nice, boring guy with brains who will actually have a progressive career. Sorry, we're not perfect. Perhaps I'm generalizing but its just that based on the women I've met in life, they all seem to want something like that.

I have two loves in life: music and history. I love music and when I'm in the mood, I tinker on my piano. I love reading history because it never changes.

So what exactly am I doing wrong in life? If anything? You know, there's all this talk about how this country is going down the hole because there are too many people who don't have jobs and can't pay tax and things like that. Well, if you look at it in terms of that, I'm doing pretty well. I'm young. I'm single. I'm financially independent. I don't depend on people. I'm a taxpayer. Hell, it's people like me who are supporting all the retired people. So how come there are people who have a problem with the way I live my life?

[chinkboye22]

cuz you're living life toward being a hermit but its ok if your fine w/ that, sorry that is blunt which is why im trying to change for the better
but at least you one important thing is your life which is a career, u just needa work on the other important aspects of your life and build up

i mean at least u know the positives of yourself and independent, im just saying is you gotta live life the way u want to live and enjoy, time flies and you will regret a lot of things u wish u had of done when you were younger when u get older

[pinkch33ks]

Instead of wondering if there is a problem now, why don't you just keep living life the way you have and update us 5-10 years down the road when the problem dawns on you, but its too late to make any changes.

When you were 18-21, you were probably thinking that there was nothing wrong with focusing on attaining a higher degree in order to land the job that you have now at the expense of having any social life or finding anything else of value other than your studies/career prospects. There was nothing wrong with the situation then.

Now that you're 25, you're probably thinking about things that you could have done at 18-21 in order to make your situation better now.

Looking ahead at age 30-40, you'll be thinking that there actually was a problem with the way you were living at 25 and you have nothing of meaning in your life and there is no certainty in terms of what you will accomplish in your career.

...and the pattern continues

[watcher]

So what exactly am I doing wrong in life? If anything? You know, there's all this talk about how this country is going down the hole because there are too many people who don't have jobs and can't pay tax and things like that. Well, if you look at it in terms of that, I'm doing pretty well. I'm young. I'm single. I'm financially independent. I don't depend on people. I'm a taxpayer. Hell, it's people like me who are supporting all the retired people. So how come there are people who have a problem with the way I live my life?

who cares if people have a problem with the way you live?
it's almost like your real issue is that other people have issues with you...

[Meenuh]

no i don't think it actually matters. i think we do it to keep ourselves busy before we die and also so that we won't die because we need money for food and shelter. also, to buy things that will make your life slightly more enjoyable to pass the time with gadgets and what not.

there are people who have a problem with the way you live because it's not normal to them. just ignore them. they're being nosey. just tell them you're happy.

[7thprincess]

Babe, if you dont have a problem with your life, if you are happy and content, then tell people to STFU.

[Prot]

Sometimes I wish I could freeze time because the way I'm living life now is somewhere in between that of a student and an adult. I'm 25. I have a good job. I have my own place. My own car. I have no girlfriend. No family. No real responsibilities. My worries consist of how to cook that salmon for dinner or that scratch on my car or the dip in my investments for retirement cause of the US economic meltdown. Other than these things, I have no REAL worries. I love my job. I have a considerable amount of responsibility in my company.

Not everyone gets married before 25. Marriage isn't something that happens in a day, a year, or a decade, it happens when you aim for it and when it is right for both partners. Family can also develop however through friends.

There are people whom I've talked to who question the way I live my life. The fact that I've got no real responsibilities other than to do my job well. Like my coworkers who after a hectic day at work have to go home and figure out how to handle their kids' problems and figure out whats for dinner and things like that. The way they talk bout it sometimes makes me feel like I'm a bum.

Just because people seem to have more tasks at hand, doesn't make you a bum or lazy. You just don't have such responsibilities because you do not have children. Am I suppose to feel that I am worthless when other people talk about taking their grandparents for a stroll and then I don't have grandparents to do the same?

I'm 25 now and I feel that the way I live is fine for this age but I obviously can't live like this forever.

That is up to you to decide how you want to live your life. Unless of course you enjoy following the societal process of life blindly without considering what you want and just follow what everyone else in society wants.

Human beings are always changing and supposed to make "progress", right?

Progress has a direction and you are the one to choose the direction because it is your life. If you talk in terms of progress in society, then you would have to follow the society's definition of progress. You do not have to follow the society's definition of progress, you either make the decision to follow or not follow.

Girls are even more complicated. They want a guy who is kinda bad boy-ish and exciting but also has an education and has a bright career future.

Wait I thought you were a guy? You can mind read what girls want? In fact, you can speak for all girls in the world? You can mind read all girls in the world?

Perhaps I'm generalizing but its just that based on the women I've met in life, they all seem to want something like that.

Oh never mind, you can't mind read, you were just assuming.

I have two loves in life: music and history. I love music and when I'm in the mood, I tinker on my piano. I love reading history because it never changes.

Ok so pursue them whenever the mood strikes you.

So what exactly am I doing wrong in life? If anything?

You aren't pursuing what you want. If you fail, try again. If you fail, try again. When you stop trying, you really did fail then because you have no chance of succeeding in something you don't try in. I will not succeed in making a peanut butter jelly sandwich because I am not going to try to make it. I would like to see how it is possible for me to make a peanut butter jelly sandwich all by myself without me using the effort to make it. As far as I remember, I don't have the ability to spontaneously generate peanut butter jelly sandwiches and neither can you.

Know the chinese story of waiting next to a tree for a rabbit? A farmer rests on a tree and a rabbit rams into it and dies. Farmer cooks it and decides to wait every day from that day on next to the tree for a rabbit to ram into the tree rather than to live his normal life. No more rabbits ram into the tree and the farmer has nothing. Things don't just fall on your lap.

[Nightmare]

Reading your threads always makes me feel even more depress... From what you described, you have a nice and stable life. I'll be happy if I was in your situation. I'm 23, no job, no higher education, lives with estrange father, etc...

[frog]

I'll be happy if I was in your situation. It sounds like you have a nice and stable life.

I'm looking for a stable job now and it's so hard finding one. I almost cry because I don't know where to look for jobs anymore. My life, without a good job, is a little meaningless to me because I feel worthless---I'm not contributing anything to society. To me, having a stable job and working help keeps me sane. Without it, I feel so lost.

[k1D3Ck]

I make chemicals everyday that are used in almost everything everyone uses on a daily basis. So yes, my work means everything.

[tlydia]

I don't think it matters. As long as you are content and happy with your life, what people think shouldn't affect you At the end of the day, the only important thing that should matter is how you feel about your life and if you are satisfied with your life and decisions.

[YUNA!]

I make chemicals everyday that are used in almost everything everyone uses on a daily basis. So yes, my work means everything.

At least you think yours matters.....T.T
I work in an environmental consulting for pre-demolition and construction office. The houses you see come down in Vancouver - after I review my firm's environmental reports, I give the demo engineers a stamped letter of approval and down the building goes.

How.........relevant to our daily lives.

[Annabear]

In the bigger scheme of things, work and all the material stuff dont matter.

But it sounds like you're pretty content and your life sounds stable, just because people have different priorities to you doesnt make them any better or their life more meaningful.

I work for a major worldwide bank, so im partly repsonsible for people getting into debt

I dont know how much that matters.

I guess its that whole butterfly effect, someone out there has to be willing to do a certain job.

[DarkWaltz]

I have a similar situation, but not exactly similar.

I have a job, a car, friends, I play piano but I live with my parents (by choice).

I'm enjoying it so far, but there are a lot of times when I'm asking myself questions about myself, my future, and the present moment.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm happy most of the times, but I question my happiness often out of nowhere because I feel like I'm stalling and being too passive. Stalling because my main goal is to progress faster in my career field, when I'm absolutely nothing right now to ensure it will happen, since I'm drown in my "good" world for now.

As for your girls issues, I can tell you that the older you get, most girls will want a stable nice guy. I've had girlfriends before and they all made me happy, but I'm recently fed up of all the drama relationships brought me, so I'm enjoying the single life now.

The work itself I'm doing matters to other people, but not to me. I'm working for money, though I like what I'm doing.

Enough about me. I think you should get some more vacation, go out more with friends, subscribe to lessons to a particular activity (language, a new instrument, painting, photography, etc). Work makes our lives boring. Like a routine. What matters is what we do outside of it, so spice it up and try not to miss any opportunities to shine, learn or meet new people.

Anyway i hope what i said makes some sense.

[PaNgIeE]

Instead of wondering if there is a problem now, why don't you just keep living life the way you have and update us 5-10 years down the road when the problem dawns on you, but its too late to make any changes.

When you were 18-21, you were probably thinking that there was nothing wrong with focusing on attaining a higher degree in order to land the job that you have now at the expense of having any social life or finding anything else of value other than your studies/career prospects. There was nothing wrong with the situation then.

Now that you're 25, you're probably thinking about things that you could have done at 18-21 in order to make your situation better now.

Looking ahead at age 30-40, you'll be thinking that there actually was a problem with the way you were living at 25 and you have nothing of meaning in your life and there is no certainty in terms of what you will accomplish in your career.

...and the pattern continues

I couldn't of said it better.

UglyIsBeautiful: We all go thru phases in our lives where we have turning points that we'll like and not like. You just have to look at yourself from your own perspective and see what you value is important. If you're happy and content then why should everything else matter. If someone live his/her life differently from you doesn't mean that it is any better or worst. It just means you are both different people with different goals, careers, lifestyle, etc. Don't look at others to understand you. It seem like you're doing fine. It really comes down to you and how you think you're doing. You're the one living your life, not everyone else.

[D_K]

I couldn't of said it better.

UglyIsBeautiful: We all go thru phases in our lives where we have turning points that we'll like and not like. You just have to look at yourself from your own perspective and see what you value is important. If you're happy and content then why should everything else matter. If someone live his/her life differently from you doesn't mean that it is any better or worst. It just means you are both different people with different goals, careers, lifestyle, etc. Don't look at others to understand you. It seem like you're doing fine. It really comes down to you and how you think you're doing. You're the one living your life, not everyone else.

I personally think he has long standing self-esteem issues that has carried over from childhood.

[PaNgIeE]

I personally think he has long standing self-esteem issues that has carried over from childhood.

I was referring to him doing fine in terms of his life -- career and all. But as far as self-esteem goes, I wouldn't know. It could be from his childhood or it could be that b/c he's 25 and some people in their 20s are still trying to figure out their lives. Whatever the case may be, I think its good to at least ask then hide behind it.