[cherryxpnai]

So I've had this problem for awhile now, pushing a good two years. And I turning to my friends about my problem is impossible because they all became fed up with my problem. So I'm turning to you all at Soompi, hoping I can find an answer.

I met this guy when I was 10 and now I'm turning 19. And since I was 10, I've liked him on and off and the same goes for him. Since we were younger, everyone always told us that we should go out. One of our friends told us that it was our "forbidden destiny" to be together. And I know that's an oxymoron, but I can't help but think about that. We always liked each other at the wrong times. If I liked him, he didn't like me. And when I got over him, he started to like me. And this was during middle school.

Throughout high school, we always flirted. But I always thought it was just because that's how we were with each other. We were always close friends. But I always knew I liked him, I just never acted on my emotions. All his ex-girlfriends never liked me because they always thought I was trying to take him from them, even while I had a boyfriend. But it seems that every time he breaks up with one of his girlfriends, he starts to like me again.

So during my senior year of high school, he started being "more than a friend" to me. He'd walk me to class, visit me at my locker, call me at night, visit me at my house, stuff like that. And all that made me fall for him all over again. We'd talk on the phone all night. He'd make me sleep on the phone. He'd pick me up from my house just so we could buy food. He'd come to my house after work if he knew something was wrong with me. He just, always worried about me.

And then I made the stupid mistake of introducing him to my best friend.

Because then he started liking her. And then they became 'best friends'. And she knew everything. She knew how I felt about him, she knew that I've liked him for so long, and she knew that it would hurt me if they did go out. And I told her to be straight up with me, if she liked him or not, so that it wouldn't be so hard on me.

Now, about a year and a half later, she still hasn't said anything to me. But I don't look at her as a friend anymore.

He's still an important part of me. I still look at him as a friend, even though I don't want to because dealing with her and him together still kills me. And the fact that she gets so annoyed when he's with me, she has to flaunt the fact that they are going out in my face. So about a month ago, I told him that dealing with all of this wasn't worth it. Dealing with her talking smack about me, and us hiding the fact that we're friends from the world was too much for me. So I told him I was giving up on the friendship. I asked him if he was alright with that and he said no.

Now, I work with him on Saturday mornings and he does the little flirting things he always used to do with just me and not anyone else. He'd lean on me, basically asking me to support my weight. He'd stand extremely close to me, even though there is so much room for him to stand, and he'd just stare at me and smile. My co-workers taped him staring at me and smiling while I helped a customer (I work at a Dunkin Donuts).

And my birthday's coming up on Sunday. Oddly enough, I share my birthday with his girlfriend. I know, ironic. Last year, he didn't even greet me happy birthday. This year, he actually asked me what I wanted for my birthday. And in my head I keep thinking "I just want my friend back".

I never really got over him. There's this hope in my head that says we belong together. And basically everyone thinks that. Our friends (besides her friends), our co-workers, even my family thinks it. But it just doesn't seem to be happening for me. And I never cared this much for a guy, not even my ex-boyfriend. So I'm pretty sure I'm in love with this guy.

So what I really want to know is what could I possibly do to move on? I don't wanna lose him as a friend, but I don't think there's any other way. And why does he keep stringing me along? He never even gave me a chance. Could it be that he knows that I'll always be there for him to fall back on? Am I really just his rebound girl?

Someone please help me.

[GreenTeaSparkles]

Last year, he didn't even greet me happy birthday.

didn't even greet you a happy birthday even though you're his best friend? some friend
But yah you should never introduce the guy you like to your best friend! I did that before and he started liking her.

But i do sort of understand your best friend. You have to understand that they're a couple now, and some of the stuff he did with you before, he can no longer do because he has a g/f. That's why she's reminding you that he's her b/f, and not yours. She's also insecure because she knew he used to like you on and off. She's just afraid that he'll start to like you again, and will dump her. I think it's normal girl behavior on her part.

[takemeaway]

no offense but he doesn't seem worth it
just think about this:

- (as GreenTeaSparkles said): he didn't even greet you happy birthday last year? some best friend.
- he shows obvious signs of liking you and once you introduce him to your best friend: he shift gears. shows how easily his attention gets diverted
- when you tell him you can't handle being friends anymore he starts clinging to you and doing bits and pieces of flirting - which he shouldn't be doing when he has a gf. he's stringing you along and hoping to keep you at the same time as your former best friend.

just try to focus on all the bad things that makes him undesirable as a BF.
that'll help you get over him.
you don't need him.

find someone better. someone doesn't that doesn't chase after your best friend then clings to you
when those feelings are gone.. maybe you can try being friends again.

gluck.

even if your best friend is insecure because of your history with him, she needs to stop being so immature.

[cherryxpnai]

even if your best friend is insecure because of your history with him, she needs to stop being so immature.

i know it's girl intuition to be insecure, but she has been insecure with every boyfriend she's ever had. like, i understand that she's his "girlfriend" (because they haven't officially said it yet, but we've all heard through the grapevine..) and i know that there are certain limitations as to what i should do. but that shouldn't give her the right to make him choose between me and her. like, i should still have the ability to be his friend.

and i forgot to mention that she forbids me from being his friend. she blocked my number on his phone.

[tofu plushie]

I think you should just move on. If he really liked to back than it wasn't a strong enough feeling for him to ask you out and instead he went for your friend. I think you have the idea that you belong together because everyone keeps saying you have some kind of destiny together but, it just seems like he likes to flirt with you but, doesn't like you enough to pursue a relationship. Anyway, he doesn't sound that great anyway so I think you should move on and find someone better.

[french_fry22]

OH MY FREAKING GOD
THIS IS MY SAME EXACT SITUATION.
me and guy like each other, guy falls for best friend, best friend puts guy in front of friend. And bam, there we have it.
It's exactly the same cause I've liked this guy since middle school, and best friend has the same exact birthday as me.

This is kind of creepy now.

[Torento <3]

If you 'think' you are in love. You are not.