[>>GazettE<<]

just wonder how trustful girls are...cuz i've seen lots of posts in this forum about girls cheated on guys, or dump their bfs after a while. and in my experience...well, not really experience, just some girl i know, they look really kind or cute or innocent but when they come together they just talk about stuffs that i didn't think they would....

so....
have u cheat on guys?
have u dump one?
or do you act innocent but actually thinks VERY differently inside??
or can some 1 just give me a percentage of it? =P

[ShadowMax76]

meh.. i know a few girls, i'll talk for 'em


have u cheat on guys? yes. physically, emotionally , w/e.. _ funny thing is, they think it's justified.. normal..

have u dump one? pft. rejections are bad enough.

or do you act innocent but actually thinks VERY differently inside?? YES THEY DO..

or can some 1 just give me a percentage of it? =P .....?

[>>GazettE<<]

0.0...
that sounds a lot worse than guys don't they....?

[ketchup?]

I have never cheated on anyone nor will I ever cheat on someone. I don't think certain people who do cheat realize how bad it hurts until someone they really like cheats on them. (This guy back in the day broke up with me because he'd been fooling around with this girl who I thought was a good friend of mine's. Another guy I really liked cheated on me with his ex and I walked in them kissing and he said it's not what it looks like. Oh really now?)
I have broken up with a guy before. That's probably my worst point. If you don't keep me entertained, I get bored easily and I always let them know before hand so they know what they're getting themselves into.
And I don't think I act that innocent but I'm not not innocent either?? Idk?

[HappyExpress]

NO ONE CAN'T be TRUSTED!!!

[PhuongNguyen]

Anyone have the ability to cheat, I don't think their gender makes a difference. I know quite a few girls that cheats on their boyfriend, but I also know a lot of guys that cheats on theirs. At the end of the day, it all comes down to the person.

To answer your question, no... I haven't cheat on anyone, and I don't believe I ever would. I've never been cheated on, but I can imagine how much it'll hurt, so I can't ever put someone in that position.

As for have I ever dumped anyone. Quite frankly, I've dumped a lot. It's not because I "lost" feelings for them or found someone new, but because I found out that we weren't compatiable.

And I've never acted "innocent", so I can't say that I'm putting on a false impression. I've always been pretty straightforward with all of my boyfriends, I don't see the point in behaving differently? You're basically tricking them into liking you. And what good would that make? You'll have to fake your personality 24/7.

[rachilde]

I'm confused about your post. From what I just read from your post, you appear to be saying that a girl's exterior should match her interior and a failure for the exterior and interior to match is a symptom of untrustworthiness. For example, a girl should only wear lace and frills if she is actually 'innocent' and 'naive' in terms of personality and world-view; therefore, if she wants to wear lace and frills but is not actually 'innocent' and 'naive' then she's untrustworthy. I don't think that makes any sense. When it comes down to it, clothes are clothes; make-up is make-up; aesthetic preferences are aesthetic preferences--they don't necessarily have to have any meaning for the wearer of the clothes. Not everyone choses clothes according to their personalities. I know many exciting people who wear dull clothes and many dull people who wear exciting clothes. Does this make people untrustworthy? I don't think so. If you have a particular aesthetic--great--but I am not going to make any assumptions about your personality based on aesthetics alone. My entire wardrobe is full of dark colors, for example, but I am not goth or pessimistic or clinically depressed--I'm quite optimistic, in fact. I'm not trying to mislead anyone by wearing black all the time--I just really like the color black. And I don't think that makes me untrustworthy.

On that note, there will be cheaters of both genders. Just because male cheaters aren't represented in soompi posts doesn't mean they don't exist. In fact, based on infidelity statistics, 22% of men have cheated within a marriage versus 14% of women who have cheated within a marriage. If anything, statistically, men are more prone to cheating than women and, by your definition, less trustworthy. Also, I don't see how trustworthiness and 'dumping boyfriends' has any real connection. If you're dissatisfied with a relationship and you cannot manage to work things out, then its within both the boy and girl's rights to break off the relationship. Your post suggests any girl who breaks up with her boyfriend is untrustworthy--but I don't see the logic in that argument.

To answer your questions:

1) I have never cheated in a monogamous relationship.
2) I have never broken up with a boyfriend without first sitting down and then mutually agreeing that things aren't working out--which is to say, I have always done 'mutual' break-ups.
3) I have a marked internal and external persona only because my internal persona is too academic for my external life. I might be standing at a bus stop thinking about the particulars of James Joyce's writing but I'm not going to share that with everyone who asks what I'm thinking about because I know not everyone is interested in James Joyce's writing.

[donporkuloin]

From my experiences with dating there are some ok girls out there. Just far and few in between. Most girls I know these days just play games and tend to be about money or looks.

[rawr_sheila]

__________

forgot what i was supposed to write


delete my comment
plz

[>>GazettE<<]

I'm confused about your post. From what I just read from your post, you appear to be saying that a girl's exterior should match her interior and a failure for the exterior and interior to match is a symptom of untrustworthiness. For example, a girl should only wear lace and frills if she is actually 'innocent' and 'naive' in terms of personality and world-view; therefore, if she wants to wear lace and frills but is not actually 'innocent' and 'naive' then she's untrustworthy. I don't think that makes any sense. When it comes down to it, clothes are clothes; make-up is make-up; aesthetic preferences are aesthetic preferences--they don't necessarily have to have any meaning for the wearer of the clothes. Not everyone choses clothes according to their personalities. I know many exciting people who wear dull clothes and many dull people who wear exciting clothes. Does this make people untrustworthy? I don't think so. If you have a particular aesthetic--great--but I am not going to make any assumptions about your personality based on aesthetics alone. My entire wardrobe is full of dark colors, for example, but I am not goth or pessimistic or clinically depressed--I'm quite optimistic, in fact. I'm not trying to mislead anyone by wearing black all the time--I just really like the color black. And I don't think that makes me untrustworthy.

On that note, there will be cheaters of both genders. Just because male cheaters aren't represented in soompi posts doesn't mean they don't exist. In fact, based on infidelity statistics, 22% of men have cheated within a marriage versus 14% of women who have cheated within a marriage. If anything, statistically, men are more prone to cheating than women and, by your definition, less trustworthy. Also, I don't see how trustworthiness and 'dumping boyfriends' has any real connection. If you're dissatisfied with a relationship and you cannot manage to work things out, then its within both the boy and girl's rights to break off the relationship. Your post suggests any girl who breaks up with her boyfriend is untrustworthy--but I don't see the logic in that argument.

To answer your questions:

1) I have never cheated in a monogamous relationship.
2) I have never broken up with a boyfriend without first sitting down and then mutually agreeing that things aren't working out--which is to say, I have always done 'mutual' break-ups.
3) I have a marked internal and external persona only because my internal persona is too academic for my external life. I might be standing at a bus stop thinking about the particulars of James Joyce's writing but I'm not going to share that with everyone who asks what I'm thinking about because I know not everyone is interested in James Joyce's writing.

uhh....don't get too far, i'm just wondering are girls most likely to like some1 for a long long time or just get sick of the person easily, like..."most likely"...compare to guys...

and i didn't mean they "look" innocent or cute, i was talking about that they are actually nice in personality in normal conversations with guys, but a few times i just heard them talking about very unusual things privately when some1 started it. like something i didn't think she would say, as if she has another side facing the public...and i'm not referring to only one girl.

[rachilde]

uhh....don't get too far, i'm just wondering are girls most likely to like some1 for a long long time or just get sick of the person easily, like..."most likely"...compare to guys...

and i didn't mean they "look" innocent or cute, i was talking about that they are actually nice in personality in normal conversations with guys, but a few times i just heard them talking about very unusual things privately when some1 started it. like something i didn't think she would say, as if she has another side facing the public...and i'm not referring to only one girl.

Well my mother and my father (and several peoples' mothers and fathers) have been married for several decades, so yes, I think girls are firstly capable of liking someone for a long time. I am going to be celebrating my first anniversary with my boyfriend so perhaps you can count that under liking a guy for a 'long long time.' I have also had boyfriends I haven't even celebrated 6 months with. Whether a girl can commit to a guy is a combination of what the girl wants, what the guy can give, what the girl wants to give, and where the girl is at her life. None of these point toward 'untrustworthiness.' The point to 'circumstances.' I won't like a guy I have nothing in common with for a long long time, for example. If I am going to go to another country, then I will not have a relationship with a guy for a long long time, for another example. If you're wondering if girls can be trusted to have a long-term relationship then you'll have to think about a specific girl with a specific circumstance as no real information can be gathered about girls as a group (and indeed, there are no searchable statistics on female ficklness versus male fickleness).

Scientific studies have, however, suggested women are more inclined toward becoming emotionally attached in a sexual situation than men are; thus, they are less likely to 'be fickle' or have multiple 'purely sexual relationships' in rapid succession.

As for your second point, just because a girl has a side to her that you haven't drawn out, doesn't mean that she's actively hiding something from you. I have people who don't know I'm interested in Haruki Murakami but it's not because I'm trying to hide that from them--it's simply because they've never talked about Haruki Murakami with me. Just because 'you wouldn't think they'd say something like that' doesn't mean it's their fault you have that conception of them. Perhaps your assumptions were simply false for no reason other than the fact that you don't know them very well. Perhaps you've simply never confronted them about an issue you would think to be outside their scope. Again, I'm having difficulty seeing how any of this comes down to downright 'untrustworthiness.'

[>>GazettE<<]

Well my mother and my father (and several peoples' mothers and fathers) have been married for several decades, so yes, I think girls are firstly capable of liking someone for a long time. I am going to be celebrating my first anniversary with my boyfriend so perhaps you can count that under liking a guy for a 'long long time.' I have also had boyfriends I haven't even celebrated 6 months with. Whether a girl can commit to a guy is a combination of what the girl wants, what the guy can give, what the girl wants to give, and where the girl is at her life. None of these point toward 'untrustworthiness.' The point to 'circumstances.' I won't like a guy I have nothing in common with for a long long time, for example. If I am going to go to another country, then I will not have a relationship with a guy for a long long time, for another example. If you're wondering if girls can be trusted to have a long-term relationship then you'll have to think about a specific girl with a specific circumstance as no real information can be gathered about girls as a group (and indeed, there are no searchable statistics on female ficklness versus male fickleness).

Scientific studies have, however, suggested women are more inclined toward becoming emotionally attached in a sexual situation than men are; thus, they are less likely to 'be fickle' or have multiple 'purely sexual relationships' in rapid succession.

As for your second point, just because a girl has a side to her that you haven't drawn out, doesn't mean that she's actively hiding something from you. I have people who don't know I'm interested in Haruki Murakami but it's not because I'm trying to hide that from them--it's simply because they've never talked about Haruki Murakami with me. Just because 'you wouldn't think they'd say something like that' doesn't mean it's their fault you have that conception of them. Perhaps your assumptions were simply false for no reason other than the fact that you don't know them very well. Perhaps you've simply never confronted them about an issue you would think to be outside their scope. Again, I'm having difficulty seeing how any of this comes down to downright 'untrustworthiness.'

thanks for the replies,
don't find it too offence....i'm not saying they're "untrustful", i'm just wondering....or maybe i used the wrong word in the title, those questions are all i wonder about.

[PhuongNguyen]

As for your second point, just because a girl has a side to her that you haven't drawn out, doesn't mean that she's actively hiding something from you. I have people who don't know I'm interested in Haruki Murakami but it's not because I'm trying to hide that from them--it's simply because they've never talked about Haruki Murakami with me. Just because 'you wouldn't think they'd say something like that' doesn't mean it's their fault you have that conception of them. Perhaps your assumptions were simply false for no reason other than the fact that you don't know them very well. Perhaps you've simply never confronted them about an issue you would think to be outside their scope. Again, I'm having difficulty seeing how any of this comes down to downright 'untrustworthiness.'

Correct me if I'm wrong (OP)

But I think what he/she meant is that the girls tends to be "two-faced". You know, how they act so nice in front of you, yet does the complete opposite behind your back?

For example, my friend; in front of the guys she likes, she would act as if she's really well mannered... doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't cuss. Yet behind their back, she does all of these things. Or this other girl I know, who tells all the guy that she is a virgin and are against girls who are sexually promiscuous, yet she hit the sack with over 10+ guys within a year.

[Dragonlove]

yes yes that's me. I admit it. I act innocent but really I'm the devil reincarnate.
to be honest both girls and guys cheat so no I dont think you can trust girls anymore than you can trust a guy. I dont have exact statistical data to support it but I feel that both sexes need to be careful. However girls when it comes to FRIENDSHIPS cannot be trusted.

[>>GazettE<<]

Correct me if I'm wrong (OP)

But I think what he/she meant is that the girls tends to be "two-faced". You know, how they act so nice in front of you, yet does the complete opposite behind your back?

For example, my friend; in front of the guys she likes, she would act as if she's really well mannered... doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't cuss. Yet behind their back, she does all of these things. Or this other girl I know, who tells all the guy that she is a virgin and are against girls who are sexually promiscuous, yet she hit the sack with over 10+ guys within a year.

yeah that's wat i meant,
and omgosh...does that apply on only a few girls....? or a lot? 0.0

well...i heard that the friendship between guys are better than girls, not sure.

[rachilde]

Correct me if I'm wrong (OP)

But I think what he/she meant is that the girls tends to be "two-faced". You know, how they act so nice in front of you, yet does the complete opposite behind your back?

For example, my friend; in front of the guys she likes, she would act as if she's really well mannered... doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, doesn't cuss. Yet behind their back, she does all of these things. Or this other girl I know, who tells all the guy that she is a virgin and are against girls who are sexually promiscuous, yet she hit the sack with over 10+ guys within a year.

Dictionary.com states that being "two-faced" is "being deceitful," in other words, lying or purposefully misleading someone else. I can also add that being "two-faced" has a connotation of being "malicious"--lying at the expense and pain of others. The two cases you cited here have featured clearcut situations where two women lie--but it by no means points to conclusive evidence of how many or what percentage of women lie and also whether or not these women did it out of malice. It merely shows that women lie. Thus, the question is then 'how many women lie,' or, as the poster seems to also be interested in, 'how many women lie compared to how many men lie.' After all, the poster seems worried that women are less trustworthy than men ('Can Girls be Trusted' immediately raises the companion question 'Can Girls be Trusted as Much as Guys?'). So here's a rundown I found of lying patterns between men and women:

Men's dishonesty surfaces more around impersonal objects. They take office supplies (71% of men vs. 61% women), fudge tax returns (24% vs. 15%) and illegally download music (43% vs. 35%) more often than women.

At work, women may not steal supplies as often as men, but they are more likely to lie to the boss about a sick day (64% women vs. 58% men). And in their personal lives, women use dishonesty to avoid conflict, like by fibbing about the cost of a recent purchase (34% women vs. 25% men), or to spare another person's feelings, as in "Those pants don't make your hips look big at all!" (74% vs. 65%).

Clearly, men and women are both deceitful; but they're deceitful about different things and for different reasons. On that note, it seems women mostly lie because they want to avoid conflict, avoid judgment, or avoid hurting someone else's feelings--not usually malicious reasons. So then, the question is: if a girl who lies about her drinking and partying habits does so to avoid being judged or being ridiculed--is she really doing it out of malice? And if she is not doing it out of malice, then is she truly two-faced? In a society where a girl would not be judged for sleeping with someone else, would that girl still lie? In a society where drinking and smoking weren't that big of a deal for a girl, would that girl still lie?

I think there's a question between the maliciousness of 'two-facedness' and the need to shield oneself from social judgment, which I would interpret as a 'protective reflex.'

[PhuongNguyen]

Dictionary.com states that being "two-faced" is "being deceitful," in other words, lying or purposefully misleading someone else. I can also add that being "two-faced" has a connotation of being "malicious"--lying at the expense and pain of others. The two cases you cited here have featured clearcut situations where two women lie--but it by no means points to conclusive evidence of how many or what percentage of women lie and also whether or not these women did it out of malice. It merely shows that women lie. Thus, the question is then 'how many women lie,' or, as the poster seems to also be interested in, 'how many women lie compared to how many men lie.' After all, the poster seems worried that women are less trustworthy than men ('Can Girls be Trusted' immediately raises the companion question 'Can Girls be Trusted as Much as Guys?'). So here's a rundown I found of lying patterns between men and women:



Clearly, men and women are both deceitful; but they're deceitful about different things and for different reasons. On that note, it seems women mostly lie because they want to avoid conflict, avoid judgment, or avoid hurting someone else's feelings--not usually malicious reasons. So then, the question is: if a girl who lies about her drinking and partying habits does so to avoid being judged or being ridiculed--is she really doing it out of malice? And if she is not doing it out of malice, then is she truly two-faced? In a society where a girl would not be judged for sleeping with someone else, would that girl still lie? In a society where drinking and smoking weren't that big of a deal for a girl, would that girl still lie?

I think there's a question between the maliciousness of 'two-facedness' and the need to shield oneself from social judgment, which I would interpret as a 'protective reflex.'

Darling, there's a difference between lying to something to get them to like to you, to lying to someone to avoid confrontation or embarrasment. These girls doesn't lie because they were put up to it; they lied because they wanted the guys to think of them as "pure and innocent". I don't know about you, but that sounds like ill-intention to me. To trick someone into liking the false image of who they think you are. Certainly, the guys wouldn't like it when they find out the truth; now would they? I know these girls personally... I'm sure I would know if they have "malice" intention much better than you; won't I?

He stated a simple question, and all it takes is a simple answer. You seem to jump into defense mode, and act as if he's targetting all women; when he just simple curious about the female mind. Sure, statistics may speak a lot, but it can't speak for everyone, and the point of this forum is to talk from an individual point of view, so why don't you just drop the numbers and speak on behalf of your own personal experience?

yeah that's wat i meant,
and omgosh...does that apply on only a few girls....? or a lot? 0.0

well...i heard that the friendship between guys are better than girls, not sure.

I can't speak for EVERY girl... but I can speak for myself and say that I'm completely honest with who I am and how I am. No false impression at all.

Guys tends to get along better than girls; from what I've experienced, mainly because girls loves the drama. Not all, but a lot of the ones I know do.

[xiuieee]

NO ONE CAN'T be TRUSTED!!!

lmao...thats RIGHT! BELIEVE IN YOURSELF ONLY!

[cookiesncream]

it most def depends on the person. not all girls are nice...but not all girls cheat either

[maharu.]

Most girls have a tendency to put a fake front because they want to be loved or liked by 'many guys'.
Idk how many times I heard girls saying how can they be popular with all these guys...
The girls who cheat or waiver very easily has a insecurity problem and most likely are people who easily get bored or don't know what it means to be 'committed'.

I'm not sure if you're looking for that but not all girls cheat. Thats a simple generalization like how girls say, "Can guys be caring, not be shallow, and not be a player?"
Of course theres people who are like that but not everyone is like that.

But to be truthful, everyone has a part of them that can't be trusted.