[SOCKBUNNY]

I have two close friends who both got jobs & boyfriends over the summer, and now that school has started, I feel like I'm watching them slowly fall academically.

Both of them have always been strong students but now I've noticed that they're slacking off more, because of their bf & job. (Their bfs don't help at all, since neither one is the academic type).

It used to be that I would nag them about deadlines and remind them to prepare when I saw they forgot stuff, but I got sick of it (and they probably got sick of my nagging too). I nagged because I could see it happen. That they'll push school aside for the other stuff and eventually teachers, scores and grades will hit them.

So with SAT scores out today (I know what they got... not good), listening to one talk about struggling to keep up with homework few days before, seeing how the other one never finishing big assignments for ap lit .... I can tell that they're sad about the results, but I don't know what to say or do.
I want to say, "I told you so, I warned you and you didn't listen" but I know I'd never do that since that wouldn't help at all. And as much as I'd love to tell them to focus on school before bf & job... I don't know how to do that without making it seem like I want them to quit their job and break off with bf...

So... what should I do? What should I say to them when they get crappy scores on tests when I know they could have done better IF they only spent more time on it? It's senior year and I don't want to see them fall.

[BubbleFish]

Senior year is the year to slack! Who works hard anymore??? lol jkjk

As much as you want to help them there's only so much you can help them with. I'm sure they know where their grades are gearing to. You can't always remind them when the english assignments are due and when's the next project is due. They need to be on their own, you can't always be there for them and help them. And what u can say to them for getting bad grades/scores you can tell them to try harder next time. Your friends just need to learn how to balance their education, jobs, and love life! Learn how to prioritize your things, cause in college it's like that too...so yeah.

[wr3ck3dd]

Tell them this: do you want a future flipping hamburgers or actually doing something meaningful in life? Choose.

Good luck.

[Becca*]

If they don't listen

then you gotta let them fall before they can learn how to stand

[PixelPanda]

Senior year is slack-off time from second term on. .__.
Tell them that their Christmas present is being able to slack off, but only if they try hard. Santa is watching, you know.

My sister says that maintaining grades is the main point of senior year, so a B doesn't kill you like it would have in junior year... D;
This, of course, is assuming you took your SAT/ACT in 11th grade. .__.

[SOCKBUNNY]

Tell them this: do you want a future flipping hamburgers or actually doing something meaningful in life? Choose.

I'd love to... but I don't have the heart. Plus, they'd most likely assure me that they have it down and is handling their situation well... but from what I've been seeing, it's gradually declining and I feel like they're not noticing it until it's solid on paper, which would be too late.

My sister says that maintaining grades is the main point of senior year, so a B doesn't kill you like it would have in junior year... D;
This, of course, is assuming you took your SAT/ACT in 11th grade. .__.

Both of them took SAT this June but did really bad, so I figured if they want to improve, gotta study that's why I kept nagging them =/
This time, one them had a total score that went down
I don't even know how their grades are but from the test scores I've seen and work.... I'm guessing they're slowly going down too...
I know they can do so much better, it's just disappointing to see that they don't

Thanks for the advices, I know I have to let them do their own thing... it's just... hard (oh wow... I sound like a parent already =_=)

[GOOMBA]

I'd love to... but I don't have the heart. Plus, they'd most likely assure me that they have it down and is handling their situation well... but from what I've been seeing, it's gradually declining and I feel like they're not noticing it until it's solid on paper, which would be too late.

It sounds to me like you already know what to say, you're just waiting for somebody to OK it.

I mean, if you know you have the heart to NOT say whatever, you should know what you DO have the heart to say. Just pick one and say it.

[ShadowMax76]

a stranger and a friend could be nasty and say something blimmin' mad-as..

a friend, however, more likely anyways,

stays and helps them.


-shrugs- i 'spose i only learned that difference till recently.

_ bfs...jobs... they're meant to scare you into the good life aren't they..

they must think about the future,
not what can keep them alive for now.

house..rent.. etc.

they must get on a path that can see them in a better place every few years..

. maybe show them some bogans.. LOl.
-sighs-
what scared me into studying was when i visited my uncle's metal work place..

..i wanted to cry when i went in there. >.>' it was like ... -shudders- "i didn't imagine myself to spend the rest of my life here.."
but .. my family wants me to try it out anyways.. =.=' cuz i don't have a 'skill'
ANYWAYs.. -salutes- :] good luck with your friends _

a bit of the carrot and stick may help. if ya know what that means.. o.o'

@_@ and get someone they look up to to tell their story of how they had to cool off the relationship during school years.. o-o'

[biforever]

in your case, i dont think you should say i told you so. perhaps it's not even their bfs or jobs that are affecting their studies...maybe it's something else? if they were strong students who cared about their marks beforehand, bfs or jobs should not affect them.

dont nag..just remind them that they need to focus because it's important etc etc.

just be there for them.

[eternal.happiness]

Don't nag them about this but talk to them about it.
Maybe they don't realize where their priorities are at the moment.

[schadenfreud1c]

Instead of mopping around wondering what you can say or do, DO something about it! Take them out on study dates just the girls. Invite them over after school to do homework together.


Do i sense a bit of resentment for them having boyfriends and jobs?