Hey, Wus up:
I can’t stop thinking about you, linda.
I kept on telling myself, forget it, it’s a lesson, and move on. It’s been so long, three..years? Since that summer, the summer that really changed me, to a degree, to a degree that I’m a million times less sociable around girls. Every time I come across a girl that’s really nice, all I can think of is that I’ll repeat whatever I did with you with her. And I don’t want that, I don’t want her to be scared of me, creeped out. And I don’t want to go through that experience I had during the summer ever again.
So now, I avoid contact with any girl, as much as possible. Because I get scared, so I keep my mouth shout, and hope they would go away. Because they’re better off not knowing me (right now), I don’t want anyone else end up with only one opinion of me, one negative view of me, I don’t want to be remembered like that. BTW , there were nothing to begin with (friends?..to a degree..at school..PERIOD), obviously, a no brainer would know that. Remember what you said?. After I poured my heart out..wait that’s not a good way of putting it..um..well, it doesn’t matter, you know what I mean. I remember exactly every word you wrote in those E-mail replies, every single one of them. I don’t know what you may think, but yeah, sure, you’re right . I’m a crazy kid..ok..lol, whatever. Go get some help..yeah..I did. There’s something you should know.. I was stalking you not realizing, AND I stalked you in every possible way you could not think of..maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but the point is, yeah, I couldn’t help it. Ok? I couldn’t stop, even though I wanted too, that was..like WTH am I doing wasting my time doing this.
But, you know, it would’ve made everything easier if you just told me what I was doing was creeping you out, because, really, a guy like me, who has never had much social contact wouldn’t know what the heck I was doing wrong, unless somebody told me so. I like everything straight forward, I don’t like those things were someone keep something from you, a judgement, and idea of you that they don’t want to say. Oh, yeah, and BTW, I don’t just “snap” because you wanted me to leave you the H… alone. Some people might, but not me. I just get depressed, but I won’t go as far as hurting anyone.
And also, don’t listen to your sister’s advice by just yelling at whoever to leave you the h… alone, cuz that’s really not going to do any good for them, and maybe depending on the person, they might’ve did something else, if you ever meet any other guy like how I was back then,
. Yeah..ok..now you can really go ahead and think “boy, what a loser”, ok whatever. And also, it would really really help me and help you if you can make another account, and delete your old one. So I could stop coming on to this boring site, that’s basically a waste of my time, it would be more helpful if this site never existed, and also..KK..don’t post you E-mail address on some random site so others can search you up, don’t use your real name, and yeah..I read your topic, the one about me, and I am truly sorry for whatever trouble I may caused. If you were me, you would understand that I really meant this, but you are not, so of course you will never understand people like me, at least that’s what I think.Ok..by now, I bet I know what you are thinking of, so I’m not going to say it. I know it’s going to be pretty harsh, and I accept it, it’s true.
Still..I still wish If there were ever any chance, you would still consider being friends w/ me in the future. But I think the chances are very slim, I know you will probably never change the way you view me, and that’s ok. It’s good to know that there are actually people like me on campus that went through so much in almost exactly the same way; it’s good to know there are people in the world like me, maybe not for you, but I understand why I’m like this, and I know someone will also understand why because we are alike. It’s good to know you are not alone, but sometimes it’s hard to believe you not alone. I struggle a lot with life, but I try my best at everything, that’s all.
PS: I’ll prove whatever view point you may have of me wrong, because people change, at least some of us are trying to. Whether you care or not, I don’t give a D…
Peace-out ….shorty.
