[swtaznang3l07]

We are all at a Halloween party at my friends and brothers house; and pretty much everyone there was wasted except a few. I only had one mix drink at the beginning of the party..with that being said here's my story..

My boyfriend went to get his key out of my friends room, and when he was just about to open the door he heard screaming and crying. He hurried to open the door to find a girl crying on the bed, while my very good 6 yr long friend, who we should call P for personal reasons, hurried and covered his bottom half with a sheet/blanket. When he saw that he hurried and told me "P is effin raping a girl!". Not believing what he was saying, I alone, hurried to the room. To open the door to find P on top of the girl, with his costume still on. he was mentioning before the party that the only thing he had on underneath was boxer, he even showed me. I his "Jesus" costume folded over on top of the girl, indicating that his lower body was very close to hers. I saw his body moving up and down..I then said, "P what in the world are you doing!?" he hurried and jumped off. While fixing himself underneath his gown he said, " What? she had some sexual needs". He started walking out and I started walking towards her, before I even got to her he said, " Oh she looks like that because she just had an orgasm". I hurried and took her in my arms and tried calling her name over and over again to get her to look at me. She was staring straight at the ceiling with eyes wide open and hyperventilating. I knew that she drank alot before this all happened, but I was still in denial of not believing that he would do such a thing. I kept asking her if she wanted it or if she was forced into it. she never answered me..

Later on, after taking care of her etc. I told his little sister who also lived in the same apt. His sis flipped and went up to him to confront him about it. His first excuse was, " we were both drunk" then it was "we didn't do anything" now it is "all we did was make out"...I was in shock, to really know that my friend actually did that..he was a family friend for many many years now. But my first reaction when I saw that was, "it can't be no way" I didnt think of him as a friend after seeing so, the only thing i saw in my eyes was a guy, doing that to a girl.

The next day, I knew the right thing to do was to check up on her and tell her. I texted her and she said she didn't remember anything. I asked her if she remembers being in the room or remember being taken into a room with P. She said "who's that? " She didn't even know him, she didn't remember. So i told her what I saw. and she said, "OMG, I need money." I asked her what did she mean by that, she replied with, " I need money so i can go to the hospital so i can get checked for STD's and all those other diseases..give me his number so i can talk to him and ask him what happened." So i did and she called me back later after they had dinner. At dinner she asked him what happened, he never mentioned anything about being in a closet, she does. I never saw her in the closet or anything so I didn't know what she was talking about, but she remember that she was. and she said that he seemed as if he was lying, he told her that they didn't do anything but make out. So she gave him options, either pay 500 for all the hospital expenses for her to get everything checked OR she presses charges.

After many phone calls he made and thought hard about it, he decided to press charges. Which is stupid, but now it's led to this. That night she was talking to me, and she asked if I mind going to the police station with her to report him...I didn't want to say no but I didn't want to say yes either..but I knew i was the only witness who saw it. so I went with her. she reported it, and the detective escorted her to the hospital and after they went to the party "condo" and searched the place and arrested him that same night.

now my family is being pulled into it. because his parents and mine are raelly good friends. and his parents are begging her to drop the charges. no more like BEGGING ME to tell her to drop the charges. all she wanted was the money to take care of herself but now there are stories going everyone ONE is I didn't do anythinga t all I just heard it all from my bf, TWO is I should've minded my own business, THREE she asked for mroe then 500; they say that she asked for 500 for the STD test, 1000 for the trouble of her telling her parents, and 100 every month for child support. BUT she really told him that she wanted an abortion if she WAS pregnant.

What do you guys think? ..all i have to say is I've been getting threat phone calls and everyone is pointing straight at me and not the victim. when I didn't even do anything..I just did what was right. It feels as if my whole world is crumbling down and i'm a nursing major and school is hard enough, and now i have to deal with this??..idk what to do anymore..

[inthesoul-k]

Very sorry you have been put in this situation. I believe you and the victim are in the right for going to the cops even though your not exactly positive about what happened. I could understand his parents are scared about his future, but come on if he did do it or if something happened, he needs to be charged. You cant control what your kids do and unfortunately if there son made that decision he needs to face the consequences. You should explain/tell your parents & his family that what if it was you or another female friend/family member in P's family who had experienced this, wouldnt they want the person involved investigated. Wish you luck, don't second guess your decision, even if he is innocent it was worth the effort to make sure the girl wasnt taken advantage of that night because personally if that was me I would love to have someone like you by my side.

[THEmerryJANE]

There are probably other factors that you won't be able to explain over the internet but given the premises, I think you did the right thing. Given the past and familial ties, it would have been more than easy to defend the friend you've known for years just because you knew him. It didn't appear that you made any accusations, just told what you saw. What you did was commendable, if you hadn't been a witness it would have been word against word, and that usually ends up in a stalemate (which benefits the aggresor).

How come your boyfriend didn't act as a witness too?

[ilovemesomekorean]

i think that he should be charged. because obviously the girl wasnt in to it when you saw her. and why would your bf lie to you about something so serious like that. i say stick to doing the right thing. dont tell her to drop charges. He was wrong for doing something so horrible and he should pay for it. as far as what everyone else is doing to you. i say just tell them that you have nothing to do with it and you wont tell her to do anything.

well, of course, thats only if you feel that way.

im sorry you have to experience this.

ill pray for you! ^ ^

[sohothot]

What do you guys think? ..all i have to say is I've been getting threat phone calls and everyone is pointing straight at me and not the victim. when I didn't even do anything..I just did what was right. It feels as if my whole world is crumbling down and i'm a nursing major and school is hard enough, and now i have to deal with this??..idk what to do anymore..

you saw what happened.. do the right thing and be a witness...

i dont care if you and P have been friends for 50 years!

his parents want the girl to drop charges...? ARE THEY john teshING CRAZY? john tesh outta here with that!! i dont give a mini cooper if the girl want $50,000...

teach him a lesson. sure his parents are gonna be mad and sad but this should teach them to teach their kids better!

[Meenuh]

First things first... that girl needs to learn to take care of herself. She seriously didn't even remember being raped?

I think what you did is the right thing. Honestly, she's asking for child support etc. Is she even pregnant? She's asking for $1000 for the trouble of telling her parents? It sounds more like she's worried about the money than she is herself. I mean, she didn't care about herself enough not to drink so much and put herself into a vulnerable position. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's her fault. Obviously the guy was in the wrong to rape the girl but all i'm saying is alcohol is no excuse for both sides. It's still the guys' fault for initiating such an act but I feel that girls should take stronger precautions when it comes to drinking. Ladies... take care of yourselves!

Don't get too far into the situation besides the simple fact that you are a witness. Try to stay strong and don't let people pointing fingers get to you. They should be pointing fingers at the guy for raping a girl. I'm sure he could have found some other willing girl sheesh.

[k1D3Ck]

Takes two to tango...and if she is only wanting $100 a month for child support. She is an idiot.

All I can say is I feel sorry for the officers who have to deal with stupid stuff like this on a daily basis. No wonder they have low job satisfaction.

[swtaznang3l07]

First things first... that girl needs to learn to take care of herself. She seriously didn't even remember being raped?

I think what you did is the right thing. Honestly, she's asking for child support etc. Is she even pregnant? She's asking for $1000 for the trouble of telling her parents? It sounds more like she's worried about the money than she is herself. I mean, she didn't care about herself enough not to drink so much and put herself into a vulnerable position. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's her fault. Obviously the guy was in the wrong to rape the girl but all i'm saying is alcohol is no excuse for both sides. It's still the guys' fault for initiating such an act but I feel that girls should take stronger precautions when it comes to drinking. Ladies... take care of yourselves!

Don't get too far into the situation besides the simple fact that you are a witness. Try to stay strong and don't let people pointing fingers get to you. They should be pointing fingers at the guy for raping a girl. I'm sure he could have found some other willing girl sheesh.

Takes two to tango...and if she is only wanting $100 a month for child support. She is an idiot.

All I can say is I feel sorry for the officers who have to deal with stupid stuff like this on a daily basis. No wonder they have low job satisfaction.

The thing is, he's been telling everyone that she wanted 1000 for the trouble of telling her parents and 100 every month. but really she never said that at all. she just wanted 500 for testings etc. that's it. but he goes around telling lies about her..
Everyone is pointing fingers at me bc P doesn't seem like the type to ever do that to a girl. Hell if I didn't see it and I heard someone say that about him I wouldn't believe them either. He really doesn't look like the type to do so. BUT he is the type to take advantage or to PLAY his games with girls when they BOTH are intoxicated. Being intoxicated Def. isn't an excuse. She even told me that she admits that she is wrong on her part and all she wanted to know was the truth...

Sad..my own little brother doesn't even believe me because P is his best friend..

There are probably other factors that you won't be able to explain over the internet but given the premises, I think you did the right thing. Given the past and familial ties, it would have been more than easy to defend the friend you've known for years just because you knew him. It didn't appear that you made any accusations, just told what you saw. What you did was commendable, if you hadn't been a witness it would have been word against word, and that usually ends up in a stalemate (which benefits the aggresor).

How come your boyfriend didn't act as a witness too?

He is one of the witnesses, but he's not getting it as hard bc all my friends are closer to me and P then he is to P. Therefore, they need someone to blame, and since I was the one who told her about it, who else to blame but me?

[Kang1004]

You will definitely remember that time for the rest of your life. But never be afraid to have stand up for what's right. You did exactly what was to be done but unfortunately you got caught up in a situation where other people didn't make that choice.

Although it must indeed be horrible what you're living you should be proud of what you did. And then if someone tells you contrary, ask them what kind of person they would be if they saw such a situation and escaped the whole scene.

I hope everything will be better for you and that this guy will be charged. He deserves it. And the fact that he's bullmini coopering against her, letting people know of what he did....kinda disgusting~~

[especially]

First things first... that girl needs to learn to take care of herself. She seriously didn't even remember being raped?

I think what you did is the right thing. Honestly, she's asking for child support etc. Is she even pregnant? She's asking for $1000 for the trouble of telling her parents? It sounds more like she's worried about the money than she is herself. I mean, she didn't care about herself enough not to drink so much and put herself into a vulnerable position. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it's her fault. Obviously the guy was in the wrong to rape the girl but all i'm saying is alcohol is no excuse for both sides. It's still the guys' fault for initiating such an act but I feel that girls should take stronger precautions when it comes to drinking. Ladies... take care of yourselves!

Don't get too far into the situation besides the simple fact that you are a witness. Try to stay strong and don't let people pointing fingers get to you. They should be pointing fingers at the guy for raping a girl. I'm sure he could have found some other willing girl sheesh.

WHAT? It is NEVER EVER EVER the victim's fault for getting raped. And YES, sometimes they DO "forget" because the situation was so traumatizing that their brain BLOCKS IT OUT. And you can't say that she "didn't care about herself enough to drink" and its her fault because she "put herself into a vulnerable situation." IF SHE DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE SEX AND HE FORCED IT ONTO HER, HE RAPED HER AND IT'S HIS FAULT COMPLETELY.

While yes, girls should take stronger precautions, you can't blame the victim for something that has already happened! Maybe she didn't know her limit, maybe people were peer pressuring her to drink.. ugh, you sound SO IGNORANT.

Takes two to tango...and if she is only wanting $100 a month for child support. She is an idiot.

All I can say is I feel sorry for the officers who have to deal with stupid stuff like this on a daily basis. No wonder they have low job satisfaction.

IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO? That doesn't even make any sense. Are you implying that she was asking to get raped????

[ra123]

oh come on~~~
Guys that take advantage of a girl when she's drunk is just cowardly. Regardless of it being consensual or not! The man needs a slap from karma and be taught the basics of humanity. What he did deserves justification and you have every right to justify the matter. There's really no need to feel bad, not from my eyes at least.

If my life, I've seen a few shares of guys noticeably ones that are much older than me taking advantage of a girl by forcing her to consume vile amounts of alcohol (in the most extreme case I would take the girl home if she's a friend) Its really disgusting how people have this naivity that sex can be consensual given that the girl does not refuse. Keep in mind that sex cannot be consensual if the girl has no conscious! ~ In that sense I think rape can be defined in many forms.

I'm certainly glad you took charge to consult matters with your friend P and the girl. More or less I would have done the same.
Don't be afraid to cut ties with P however. Ignore the man and hold yourself high for doing what you felt was correct. A loss can be a self gain in many many ways.

[especially]

oh come on~~~
Guys that take advantage of a girl when she's drunk is just cowardly. Regardless of it being consensual or not! The man needs a slap from karma and be taught the basics of humanity. What he did deserves justification and you have every right to justify the matter. There's really no need to feel bad, not from my eyes at least.

If my life, I've seen a few shares of guys noticeably ones that are much older than me taking advantage of a girl by forcing her to consume vile amounts of alcohol (in the most extreme case I would take the girl home if she's a friend) Its really disgusting how people have this naivity that sex can be consensual given that the girl does not refuse. Keep in mind that sex cannot be consensual if the girl has no conscious! ~ In that sense I think rape can be defined in many forms.

I'm certainly glad you took charge to consult matters with your friend P and the girl. More or less I would have done the same.
Don't be afraid to cut ties with P however. Ignore the man and hold yourself high for doing what you felt was correct. A loss can be a self gain in many many ways.

YES, thank you. I agree with you completely! And to the OP, don't feel bad! Look at it this way, what if you were the one that had gotten raped? What would have you wanted to the witness to do? Yeah.

[harrypotter123]

hell yeah he did that hoe straight up thats how its done

[PoppinBC]

You did the right thing, don't feel bad or guilty, attempt to ignore all the outside pressure. Stand up for what's right, try to clear yourself of emotional attachment, and remember to never compromise your integrity for a "friend's" bad actions.

Do the right things for the right reasons, as reporting that incident was the right thing and the reasons were right. Sometimes you just have to think it through so you really do realize it was the right thing.

[melimoocow]

to the topic starter: you are absolutely doing the right thing. don't let other people or any feelings of guilt or pity sway you. you know what you witnessed and if the girl was too drunk to remember then that's enough to make it a problem. anyone under the influence of alcohol (or other substances) does not have the mental capacity for consent.

i think the people who are doubting you should be ashamed of themselves. they should be thankful they have someone as courageous and honest as you to stand up for a victim. please stay strong because you are doing many people a great service just by doing the right thing. frankly, your friend's parents are idiots if they think silencing this will help their son. if he did something wrong then he needs to be disciplined so it doesn't happen again.

btw, if your boyfriend was the first to realize something was wrong, then where is he now? he better be backing you up

hell yeah he did that hoe straight up thats how its done

i am assuming you're joking because only a freaking idiot chauvinist would actually believe something like that...and even then it's not funny to joke about sexual assault.

and to the previous posters who are implying rape or any other unwanted sexual attention is the victim's fault: all of you need to yank your heads out of your butts. EVERYONE should have the right to feel safe and have fun; no matter what they are wearing, drinking, or whatever. blaming the victim is the most ignorant, inhumane position you can take. in fact, if you believe victims are "asking" for it, then i'd say you're no better than all the rapists, child molesters, etc etc etc out there because you validate their acts