[bellarose]

Okay...a bit of life story/background, skip if you like:

It all started when I met him at a frat party...UNINTENTIONALLY! He was the one who wanted to dance with me...plus he was really trashed. I only remembered his name that night cuz he was the "sketchy" guy my friends were warning us about During our second meeting, he claimed he didn't remember me, but we talked a lot mare and, once again, he pulled me over to dance with him. Apparently he danced with just me that night, till he was called away for something. That's when I realize, wow, he has a really cute smile. And my affection for him began to grow.
We kept in contact on Facebook and through aim for awhile. And then the summer came and I forgot about him cuz he had a gf. But when I returned to school this semester, he was single once again and kept IMing me the first week I was back on campus. I actually walked past him twice on campus without noticing tho! And when I tried to make it up to him by stopping by his room...I almost didn't know which guy in the room was him until he said Hey.
(end of background story)

So to sum it up, he's a fratboy. BUT he seemed like a really nice guy and he respected my moral standards, like the fact that I don't drink/get drunk at parties. I became almost obsessively attracted to him at one point, and even got him to say "of COURSE I think about effing you" on AIM. But since I let him know I wasn't a promiscuous girl, he started distancing himself. I decided to just be FRIENDS with him and am mostly over him. I still try to talk to him and I stopped by his room yesterday (probably for the last time!)...it was totally awkward. I feel like he doesn't even want to talk to me anymore. I just wonder why I even went to his room in the first place. I mean, he talks to me still...but its almost like he's just doing it to be nice to me.

I don't know what to do. It upsets me. And this whole thing has really brought down my self esteem. I just keep thinking now, what's wrong with me? Why do my high school friends say they're surprised I don't have a boyfriend yet? I feel like guys only wanna screw around. Some do seem interested at first, but that never goes anywhere (as in this case). Why can't a decent guy be interested in me? Am I not pretty enough? Is it my personality!?

I know I'm a quiet/shy person (mostly boy shy), but I really try to be more outgoing and have been pretty social before. But all this has just really brought me down and I'm not as comfortable with myself anymore.

>.< sorry this is so long!

[KateLove]

Okay...a bit of life story/background, skip if you like:

[i]It all started when I met him at a frat party...UNINTENTIONALLY! He was the one who wanted to dance with me...plus he was really trashed.

Stop. Back Up. Get out.

I'm sorry, I just read up to this point + I must say. Don't get yourself
involved with this. It's like meeting a guy at a club, you're just asking for a hook up.

[mz simmonz]

lol first off, in defense of frat boys, they're not all scum (although..many of them have 'scumbag tendenices' hahaa).

anyway on a more serious note, I think you've kind of solved your own dilemna when you described what he said on AIM (GROSS who SAYS that?) and when he distanced himself when you made it clear you weren't "that type" of chick.

You'll get over it in no time. It's definetely not you, you just don't fit into his horny agenda right now and trust me, you dont want to lol. There's plenty of better quality guys out there. Have fun if you want to with the horndog partyboys but if you want substance, stay away and forget about him, because for all you know, he's onto his next poor victim =X I've experienced this so many times in college (I was a big sorority party chick) and watched my guy friends do this to other girls..it's all just raging hormones + fickleness. Don't get yourself down about it

[rawr_sheila]

are you sure you like the guy?
for some reason he seems like a player-_-

ask your friends for advice b/c they know you

[bellarose]

Stop. Back Up. Get out.

I'm sorry, I just read up to this point + I must say. Don't get yourself
involved with this. It's like meeting a guy at a club, you're just asking for a hook up.

I know, I like to party. But I have a pretty shallow mindset in such settings. I just go to have fun, but he stood out to me by keeping in touch afterwards. But I realized he adds everyone he meets at parties to his facebook.

are you sure you like the guy?
for some reason he seems like a player-_-

ask your friends for advice b/c they know you

Friends that don't know him disapprove. But friends that have met him think he's okay.
Yes, I really did like him, but...
I'm over trying to start a relationship with him! Just wanna be friends/acquaintances on good terms.

[Velocitii]

only thing i have to say is, dont let this bring your self esteem down, i mean come on, seriously think about it, do you really think theres anything wrong with your looks/personality?

you sound like a genuine person, and im sure you're not hideous since you say your hs friends are surprised you dont have a bf yet, so glucks with that

oh yea im not a frat boy but not all of them are scum, just some

[night]

There's nothing wrong with you, you're not the problem...don't go hating yourself.

He seems to not care about you, he started distancing from you just because you told him your not promiscuous - what a jerk. I say his not worth your time, you're wayyyyyyyyyyyyy to good for him. Glad u didn't let him score you, thank god you have morals and pride.

Maybe you didn't even really like him, perhaps he was just the first one to give to attention and that made you like him? idk...but there's nothing wrong with you. You probably just haven't met the right guy yet, don't let this make you have a negative outlook on all guys, some guys are different.

[bellarose]

There's nothing wrong with you, you're not the problem...don't go hating yourself.

He seems to not care about you, he started distancing from you just because you told him your not promiscuous - what a jerk. I say his not worth your time, you're wayyyyyyyyyyyyy to good for him. Glad u didn't let him score you, thank god you have morals and pride.

Maybe you didn't even really like him, perhaps he was just the first one to give to attention and that made you like him? idk...but there's nothing wrong with you. You probably just haven't met the right guy yet, don't let this make you have a negative outlook on all guys, some guys are different.

Thanks.
I've been feeling much better about all this. School's much more important right now!
I'm so done letting him occupy my mind all the time!

[Knee]

I guess I'll defend the actions of the guy then! It's difficult for me to tell what he's thinking from your story, but considering what you've been describing him as, despite being a "frat boy" and getting trashed at parties, he doesn't seem like a bad person at all. First of all, he's nice to you and he respects your wishes. It doesn't seem like he's being pushy or forcing you to do anything you don't want to. As for the AIM comment, from the story it just sounds like you pushed into saying that, and he was just being honest.

Secondly, when you told him you weren't promiscuous, I know that at least I would've wondered if you were indirectly telling him he was being too pushy with you. (Depending on the way you told him of course.) And especially since you seem to consider him a frat boy. (Basically, you said "I'm not like you".) Maybe he thought that taking some distance was what you want. After all, he's still talking to you, right? Just consider there might be other reasons he's doing it than because he realized he didn't have a chance of sleeping with you.

[bellarose]

I guess I'll defend the actions of the guy then! It's difficult for me to tell what he's thinking from your story, but considering what you've been describing him as, despite being a "frat boy" and getting trashed at parties, he doesn't seem like a bad person at all. First of all, he's nice to you and he respects your wishes. It doesn't seem like he's being pushy or forcing you to do anything you don't want to. As for the AIM comment, from the story it just sounds like you pushed into saying that, and he was just being honest.

Secondly, when you told him you weren't promiscuous, I know that at least I would've wondered if you were indirectly telling him he was being too pushy with you. (Depending on the way you told him of course.) And especially since you seem to consider him a frat boy. (Basically, you said "I'm not like you".) Maybe he thought that taking some distance was what you want. After all, he's still talking to you, right? Just consider there might be other reasons he's doing it than because he realized he didn't have a chance of sleeping with you.

Thanks for the different perspective. I never thought of it that way.

Well...what he said was from a sex joke I cracked...basically a play on the f word. (He said "eff you" playfully in response to a comment I made and I asked if that was what he thought about).

But, I'm just gonna push this all aside for now. Cuz I really think he doesn't wanna talk to me anymore. Any convos we've had recently were initiated by me...and he doesn't even make an effort to keep it going...thus the awkwardness...and me ending up saying I have to go.

As of now...I barely have any hope of him and I even becoming/staying friends. So I'm over thinking about him.

[~Tropical.Mists]

Hmmmm I'll try and keep this short =)
In my honest opinion, it seems like you quite like him a lot lol ^^ Not a bad thing and don't get all troubled over it...
I personally don't see anything wrong with him and I use to think like saying "Omg, there's something wrong with me *slap myself" or something about how the guy I like is being "awkward" towards me...
Eventually I learned that it was all in my head and me THINKING it was awkward, MADE it awkward lol >_>

So my advice is to become friends with him first ^^ Get to know him on a friend level, chill out, go out together a few times (in a group? >_>)
And maybe when you feel comfortable around each other again, then you might find out "Hey I really like him!" or not... and if so, then maybe you can go ahead and chase him this time cuz you already have a base together =) If it doesn't work out, at least you're still friends hehe*
I personally feel really awkward hitting on guys I don't know, unless it's just flirting XP so maybe it's best to become friends before anything else!

--xoxo.
TM

[RssgHr_]

I'm not sure what a "fratboy" is, nor do I think it really matters in this situation; but after asking some player types that I know they all told me the same thing: "Theres no point trying anymore if you ain't gonna get any"