[minji]

i've been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now and the majority of things are great. we work together so i knew him a year before we started dating as well. it's so nice to have a friend as well as a boyfriend and we're so comfortable with each other.

however, i know his ex girlfriend. she also worked with us and my boyfriend and her started dating a little after she started working. they only dated for a total of a month maybe. they dated for a month, broke up for a bit and started seeing each other again, he went to china for a month, and when he came back, they were both busy with school. so i know when they started dating, what they did when they were dating, and how they ended their relationship. so even though he and i have been dating much longer than they did, it still bothers me so much.

she stopped working, but whenever i see her face, i imagine them together. since i was the third party when they were dating, i could see how much he liked her and how hard the break up was for him. he and i began to see each other, not officially date, but seeing as friends maybe six months after he and her broke up.

i sometimes feel i'm second compared to her and everything we do reminds him of her. i'm usually not jealous and don't care about significant others being friends with girls, so it's just his ex that bothers me so much. there's nothing i can get angry at him for because he and his ex don't talk anymore, he's very good to me and he's frustrated of this situation because he constantly tells me he loves everyday with me.

every argument we have always comes back to this problem. i try to forget about it and some days are better than others. are my feelings understandable?

[magnolia_]

You're being really insecure.

If he's not doing anything to suggest that his heart is somewhere else AND he's constantly reassuring you that he loves you, I really don't think you have anything to worry about anyway.

[joogrlpekaun]

^ I agree, especially since he doesn't even talk to the ex anymore.

[seryberry]

why do you worry about her when they are completely done with?? stop being insecure, you could be dumped because of that. hes already gave you enough reassurance

[Sleepy213]

YES YOU ARE.

I hate it when ppl mentions about their ex and theres a current relationship.
Yea, it's okay when they have some questions about my ex.
But when we fight about it and blah..its stupid.
they broke up..the END.
Your in relationhip with him/her
be happy.

You went out with him/her because you love/like him.
not because he went out with his ex.

[xjuiiccy]

It's totally understandable . & I don't think you're being jealous,
you're just insecure when you COMPARE yourself to her .
Your boyfriend is with YOU now .
If you keep thinking about her & bringing her up,
it might lead HIM to start thinking about her .
So put her outta your head, & be with your boo !!!

[angels.disguise]

get over it.
he doesn't talk to her anymore
and right now hes with you.
if you let this thing bother you
im sure fights will be ensue and a break up

[negitoro]

Being a little bit jealous and insecure about your significant other's ex is understandable. But I say you're taking it overboard.

"every argument we have always comes back to this problem."

This really disturbs me. I can't even imagine this being part of any healthy relationship. I can only imagine you're the one who brings her up in arguments?

At some point, either his patience or your inferiority complex has to give way.

[LUVSSOURCREAM]

well what would you say instigated those arguments?

were you the one who was always bringing up the past or was he the one who mentions memories of the past?

you might be paranoid about the whole situation especially if his ex is still in the picture (meaning you guys still see her regularly..either in school, work, or neighborhood). but you can never doubt your intuition. sometimes it's hard to listen to it because we have no hard proof to back it up. thats why you let time prove your intuition right or wrong. ever since you felt uneasy about their relationship, has it gotten worse? what made it worse?
if nothing has happened, and your bf has been proving you wrong, it might be best to let loose and have a little faith in your bf.

[GOOMBA]

It's totally understandable . & I don't think you're being jealous,
you're just insecure when you COMPARE yourself to her .

I agree 100% with this statement.
I definitely feel you

It's even worse when you know you're better in every aspect, but still feel your bf loved her more back in the day than he loves you now.

[obs3ssive]

I kind of feel the same way as you sometimes. My ex and I were each other's firsts (first gf, first bf ever) so I had absolutely no problems with ex's getting in the way. However in my current relationship, my bf has had like three other ex's in the past. It bothers me a lot when images of his ex's, the times they spent together and what they did pop into my mind. We have been dating for almost 11 months now, and I thought by now it wouldn't bother me anymore. The truth is, it is getting better. But it doesn't help that he is still in contact with some of them (not constantly at all though).
Just be glad that he doesn't talk to her anymore, and whenever you think about his ex and get upset about it, don't bring it up with the bf because doing this really annoys the heck out of them and he will think you are majorly insecure. Instead, whenever your bf's ex pops into your head, just tell yourself that they are no longer together and that he loves you more than any of them anyway or else he wouldn't be with you right now, right?

[minji]

it bothers me that he still uses the couple phone they bought when they first started dating. their numbers are almost the same except for the middle three digits. she changed her phone but he's still using it. i talked to him about it and he said he never thought about it in that way. maybe it's better if we stop seeing each other? i've never been such an insecure person before. in high school i was always such a confident, bordering arrogant person and i hate the person i'm becoming to be.