[babybuggyY2K]

hey guys ... this is not about me. my friend was discussing her relationship issues to me .. and it stumped me even.

she's been with this guy for 3 years. everything was going well. but then he moved 4 hours away from the city for college. he constantly does not pick up her calls. or maybe calls her back in the bathroom or something. and there are times that he doesnt even call back. and sometimes they dont talk for a several days or even a week. once, they havent talked to each other for a month or so.

she would ask him to visit her. and maybe once or twice a month he would do it for a couple of days. but everytime he visits he ask for money to pay bills and sometimes without reason... he's nice to her. really nice to her though. she just gives it too him because he's so nice to her and that they've been together for three years already.

when vshe visits him as a surprise he gets pissed and tells her she cant stay over - that his parents are here and it's not a good idea for her to come...and keeps telling her not to surprise him like that. and the rare chance that she does get to visit she notice there is a lot of female clothes in his room. and he said it belongs to one of his housemates but the clothes is a totally different style from that person and that person lives in a different room so why would it be there right? and a new piano in his room (he doesnt play the piano). his attitude's REALLY nice to her though. but she can tell thee's something he's not telling her. she feel it in her guts.

basically this is all i know.

usually what are the signs that the guy is with you for money or possibly cheating?

do you think he's cheating? basically she's in confusion as to why they're still together. is he nice to her because he loves her or is it because of something else? he's EXTREMELY NICE to her sometimes and sometimes he's not... like when it comes to surprise visits he gets very edgy about it and even yells at her sometimes... then either silence and controls himself or just doesnt speak more..

i'm confused too because when i see him with her i cant tell whats going on either.

do you think he's cheating? i dont know what to tell my friend but we're childhood friends .. it would hurt me to see her hurt

ps: one more thing.. he doesnt have sex with her anymore .. only when she tries very hard to get him to do it. he says he's tired and sleepy from school and homework

[ShadowMax76]

i didn't read that. >.>' but you know the straight forward way to find out anything.

the good old confrontation.


_ then there's the facts you can measure up, as well as his point of view.


if you feel there's something not right.. you may as well break it off.

but any good relationship works on problems with communication and appropriate actions. oO'

[PhuongNguyen]

I would say his actions are VERY suspicious, but of course... I'm not him so I can't say if he's cheating or not.

As for a money thing, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I still don't ask for him to pay for my bills and such. I think there should be a line when it comes to those things. Money will cause A LOT of conflict in a relationship, and it's much better if she doesn't make herself responsible for his bills. Unless he's having a serious financial problem, she should just tell him to pay for his own stuff, or help him out but ask him to pay for back.

Does your friend find it suspicious? Or is it just you?

Anyways, being 4 hours away is quite hard to find out whether or not he's cheating or not. Unless your friend wants to spy on the guy and check his every move. Which maybe isn't that bad of an idea.

[des monstres]

uhh.. he sounds straight up TWO-FACED.
that's the kind of person you NEVER want to get into a relationship with.

i say she should confront him.
although he seems like he would most likely lie about it.
since it seemed like he lied about the clothes.

i would dump him.
does she really need him?
there's plenty of other fish in the sea.

~


he sounds really suspicious.
and she should always go with her gut feeling.

[Seraphyx]

If you're not smart enough to figure out if he's using you for money, then you deserved to be milked for all you're worth.

[eximius]

The female clothes are in HIS room? Why in the world would the housemate leave clothes in someone else's room?

Sounds suspicious.

[L.FOR.LOVE]

^ yeah exaclt,y
even if it was a roommamte or whatever, why would they be in HIS room
i think maybe the distance got the better of them ?
he might not be cheaing but maybe having flings with other girls while your friend isn't around ?
and think about it, he bought a piano, he doesn't play
he says he needs more money
he wouldnt buy the piano if he needed more money, unless it was someone else's/for someone else O_O

[sidney]

If you're not smart enough to figure out if he's using you for money, then you deserved to be milked for all you're worth.

you are correct, but seriously, it's easier said than done.....when someone is in love they tend to rationalize or get too caught up with their own feelings...or in denial. You put it a little too harshly i think.

Whether he's cheating or using her or not, this relationship is really unhealthy anyway.

he constantly does not pick up her calls. or maybe calls her back in the bathroom or something. and there are times that he doesnt even call back. and sometimes they dont talk for a several days or even a week. once, they havent talked to each other for a month or so.

i mean, seriously?!?! i can understand that they've been together for a long time, but a month?? i get antsy when i don't talk to my bf more than 3 days.

[l1lvi3tqt]

i think we know the answer here. OFCOURSE he is up to something. i wouldnt trust him. what a lame excuse he got for the female's clothes in his rooom. i hope your gf isnt that naive.

[Torento <3]

He may only be nice when he wants something

[bitterx]

Usually....if she even has to doubt the relationship the slightest bit and her trust for him, there is probably something going on especially if you have VERY suspicious clues like that.

Does she know any other girls that are close to him?

It could be that he's not exactly cheating on her yet, but the fact that he's no longer interested with his girlfriend and has moved on to do other things with friends or etc. So now she's just a 'nuisance' to him. However....i'd find out for sure what's going on before making accusations. He's hiding something, that's for sure.

[Left_King]

Oh my....asking a girl for money...thats so cheap!!!
But maybe there's a reason... :S

But yeah....it sounds he doesnt love her anymore....and i smell smth fishy here...
Finding girls clothes in his room? WTF?
Being edgy when she surprises him? WTF?
Hvin a piano he doesnt even know how to play? WTF?
Nor wanting to hv sex with the person ur supposed to love? WTF?

Tell ur frd...being nice to u doesnt mean he loves u...a lot of ppl in this world could treat u a lot better, but still not love u...so...

[mikomi]

i've been through this b4. big signs, some of the major ones,

-forgetting his wallet and saying he will pay you back, or hes just waiting for his paycheck
-wont introduce u to friends or take you out in public.
-his best friend does not know about you, ect.
-he rarely comes to see you. Its always you going to see him and always indoors.
- he owes other people money too
-doesn't want to have sex/too tired = he's probabaly seeing someone else, this im 99% sure of.
-ect.

[Jamila]

wow..he sounds like a guy I used to talk to ....and guess what..he was a player.
He had multiple girls and used certain one's for money and places to stay!
Tell your friend to dump that loser..

[shudder_V]

damn...I need to find myself one of these girls...LOL I wish guys can gold-dig as easy as girls can would love to have a girl that pays for everything..HAHAHA honestly!