[watcher]

^ i guess. to be honest tho, i never dated a fat girl before.

mom's tell their daughters and sons all the time to lose weight tho. at least korean moms do. purely for aesthetic reasons. i think when its said in korean tho, it has a different meaning than english. different cultural assumptions.

i think that could make perfect sense. if anything, parents are the ones that teach you to conform to the social standards of society. things like 'you have to work a white collar job' or 'you have to look beautiful to be successful or get married', etc. such advice is acceptable coming from parents.

but once a significant other tells you that, i guess it's different. unlike parents who will still live with you and love you regardless of all the 잔소리, an s/o might actually leave you for someone more beautiful or with more money. perhaps the security blanket of 'family' is why it's perfectly fine with parents.

[chairmanK]

if my s/o said something like "no, you go ahead. that stuff's not for me." i'd probably be disappointed. it would be one thing if the s/o said that about going to kareoke and singing in front of people, and it would be another to act like that concerning more important issues like health. maybe i have high expectations, but if i'm gonna live out my life trying to be the best that i can be, i sure as heck dont want a s/o that refuses to even try to be better.

i dont know why im so worked up over it, but something about that statement bothered me.

Yeah, I feel the same way. In fact, I would rather be in a relationship with someone who is hyper self-critical than with someone who is complacent. If a woman has a habit of saying to herself, "I'm too fat. I should gain more muscle. I should have a faster time on my 5K run", then I have no trouble reassuring her that she's wonderful the way she is. But if she never acknowledges the need for self-improvement, then I start thinking critically about her.

Everyone sucks to some extent. The mildly sucky people are painfully aware of their own suckiness and try to fix it. In contrast, the really sucky people don't even know how much they suck.

[Laxntiga]

Post pictures of fit models all over your wall and theirs, hint it to them.

Hide all the junk foods, tell them you want to eat healthy.

Do activities that are... well active.

Start comparing the significant other... ie "honey I think you have such a nice butt, if you worked at a little bit, I think you could beat J-Lo at a competition" etc. etc.

If all this doesn't work, tell them you find them less attractive since they gained all this weight and you liked it when they were skinny. If they dont change.... its up to you. Stick around the miss piggy with a doughnut in her hand find that beach babe in the bikini with the luscious tan, long silky hair, tight stomach and legs. Its ok to be vain, you just know what you want and aren't afraid to get it!

[watcher]

topic switch!!!!

what would it mean if a girl was willing to hook you up with her best friend (whom she really cares about), but hesitates at the thought of hooking up with herself?

[papabear]

maybe she thinks you are more of a match with her friend than with her

[HERMIT]

topic switch!!!!

what would it mean if a girl was willing to hook you up with her best friend (whom she really cares about), but hesitates at the thought of hooking up with herself?

I'm confused by your scenario
Is this friend a bisexual - but the girl would hook you up with her, but not go out with her herself?
Maybe if you convince this girl, you could parlay it into a threesome.

[watcher]

LOL!!! i guess the question could've been stated better. i think papabear correctly understood the question.

i just wonder why some girls pass off good guys to their best friends instead of taking the guy herself. i'd pass off a good girl to my friend if he liked her, but i wouldn't meet a great girl and immediately think how great she'd go with my friend. haha

[orphannies]

she's probably not interested and thinks you're a better match with her friend.

[Majah Flavah]

she's probably not interested and thinks you're a better match with her friend.

and that's the truth. another quick tip for the newbies:

if a girl describes a guy as "nice", that means she's not romantically interested. it's proven that girls find different characteristics to talk about when describing a male if she is interested as opposed to those she doesn't have a thing for. and no, it doesn't actually matter if the guy is in reality nice or not.

[orphannies]

if a girl describes a guy as "nice", that means she's not romantically interested. it's proven that girls find different characteristics to talk about when describing a male if she is interested as opposed to those she doesn't have a thing for. and no, it doesn't actually matter if the guy is in reality nice or not.

that's true, well for me anyways. If I was into a guy, the word "nice" wouldn't be the first thing to come out of my mouth when describing him. When we use the word nice to describe a guy, we're not digging you in a more than friend way.

[papabear]

LOL!!! i guess the question could've been stated better. i think papabear correctly understood the question.

i just wonder why some girls pass off good guys to their best friends instead of taking the guy herself. i'd pass off a good girl to my friend if he liked her, but i wouldn't meet a great girl and immediately think how great she'd go with my friend. haha

no "chemistry," etc etc

In the end, how many people are actually "great"?

[hangook/korea]

and that's the truth. another quick tip for the newbies:

if a girl describes a guy as "nice", that means she's not romantically interested. it's proven that girls find different characteristics to talk about when describing a male if she is interested as opposed to those she doesn't have a thing for. and no, it doesn't actually matter if the guy is in reality nice or not.

It can be bad, but not all the time.

What would you say my chances are with a girl if I told you she said I was nice and refered to me as a friend? Game over, right? That's what I thought and well, since I already invested so much time and effort courting her, well why not get a straight answer from her? I thought there might be a small chance that she liked me more than that.

It turned out she was romantically interested in me. It's an extreme example, yes but shows it's more how they say it then what they say. There are rules and certain hints that can be good signs or bad signs. But you have to be flexible and know when these dating tips apply to your situation or not. That's the hard part.

[Laxntiga]

She is trying to film a Korean Drama series.



or... she's not thinking of your romantically/intimately and feels bad that she wants you to try to set you up with another one of her friends who's also single. Its fun playing match maker.

[orphannies]

She is trying to film a Korean Drama series.

maybe she's been watching way too many of those!

[JJM]

I think I've outgrown that "he's too nice" excuse. I hate it when girls use it as an explanation for their lack of interest. Just say, "I'm not interested." Simple. They just make it more difficult than it is.

Don't even get me started on Korean dramas. I never thought dating a Korean man would have so much explanation in the comparison of Korean men onscreen and Korean men in real life. I don't know! I've never dated a Korean drama/pop star. My man plays poker for a living, smokes a little too much, loves pizza and imported beer, naps at least once a day, and treats me like a queen. And so that's all I know of Korean men.

[thealmightyGOD]

^ he plays poker as a job? i wish i had that skill. i can't help myself and call on everything. that's why i don't gamble.

[Tuffcore]

I think I've outgrown that "he's too nice" excuse. I hate it when girls use it as an explanation for their lack of interest. Just say, "I'm not interested." Simple. They just make it more difficult than it is.

I guess the irony here is that women are often "too nice" to reject a guy straight up.
In my ventures to find "the one," I've gotten all of the below,

-"he's cute but he's too nice."

-"Wanna meet my friend? She's single!" ...(but aren't you single too?!) "Yes!, but do you wanna meet my friend? She's single!"

-"hey, we can be friends!"

-"This is fun! When i'm with you, i feel like i'm a little kid again and you're my brother."

-"hey sorry, something just came up, can we do coffee next weekend instead?"
next weekend: "hey sorry, something just came up, can we do coffee next weekend instead?"
next weekend: "hey sorry, something just came up, can we do coffee next weekend instead?"
next weekend: "hey sorry, something just came up, can we do coffee next weekend instead?"... etc






Too bad for me, i'm not making these up. I'd laugh if i could but I really got these...

[Tamago86]

^it's worse when they tell you all those things when you're already dating them

[heineken.]

^ especially the "i feel like i'm a little kid again and you're my brother" one..

[JJM]

Tuffcore, sorry to hear you've been dealt those kinds of excuses.

I guess I can be condsidered a nice girl from time to time, but I'm not a "too nice" girl at all. As my bf says, I'm direct b/c I'm not the passive type. A lot of other guys told me I'm too blunt and honest. Thus I don't bruise, but maim, their egos.