[hangook/korea]

You want her so badly you will do anything for her.
Whether it turns out to be good or bad, you just have to experience it for yourself to find out.
I just hope it works out for you.

[Tuffcore]

Well, the advice i was seeking was, "how do i make this work between myself and this girl?"

Most replies were in the variety of, "we don't like this girl so don't be with her."

If we can start over, that would be great. Thanks.

[gemini2007]

Well, the advice i was seeking was, "how do i make this work between myself and this girl?"

Most replies were in the variety of, "we don't like this girl so don't be with her."

If we can start over, that would be great. Thanks.

Based on many replies from my question, I would say that the problem with your question now is that there is no definite answer. Is she willing to change for you? Have you had that discussion? If not, then you are going to have to learn to live with the things she does, and be ok with infidelity, according to what she has said to you. It sounds like you just really want to be with her, and thats ok, as long as you go in knowing that her behavior probably will not change, and that you are accepting those things. If you can do that, I say go for it, but I wouldn't recommend it. It would be one thing if she really cherished you, and was clear with you how she felt about the situation. However, judging from the scene in the store, and the games she is playing, it doesn't sound like you are there. You are both adults though, so good luck and be careful!!

As a side note: I talked to my bf last night, and it went really really well. He admitted that he's not being as grown up as he could be, and that he doesn't want to choose going out with his buddies over me. We talked about balance in his life, and mine, and about working towards our future together. All in all, it was a good talk, and I think he's coming around. Thanks for all the good advice everyone! Hopefully this will be my happy ending afterall!

[papabear]

Well, the advice i was seeking was, "how do i make this work between myself and this girl?"

Most replies were in the variety of, "we don't like this girl so don't be with her."

If we can start over, that would be great. Thanks.

If people have issues, etc. that are impediments to a relationship being successful, then to have a successful relationship, those issues need to be resolved to pave the way. But: a) it's not clear that she wants to resolve her issues, b) I don't know if you've considered whether you have any yourself, and c) you want to make it work even though these issues are obstacles. It's like someone who is fat who wants to be skinny but doesn't want to exercise more and eat less. That person can get lipo or some other "quick-fix," but if he doesn't change his lifestyle, he will just get fat again.

[JJM]

Anyways, I've wrote a lot. Welcome to my life ever since i met this girl. Everyday has been truly as eventful as yesterday (no exaggeration). Everyday, i learn so much about myself and about relationships that i wouldn't trade this for anything. Everyday, i become a better man with this girl. Everyday, i want to give back to her for teaching me everything. Everyday, i want more of her. She said she'll call me today if she didn't sleep with her "guy" friend from last night. She said if she doesn't call, then there's no reason for us to talk anymore.

If this were poker, you'd be known as the dunce. And don't say it's not. I just think both your actions are idiotic.

I like this girl. Really I do. I like her as much as getting a yeast infection during my mensi. At least she's an honest and open person with her sexuality and materialistic intentions. Is it the cooch that makes you want things to work out?

[jangmishi012]

As a side note: I talked to my bf last night, and it went really really well. He admitted that he's not being as grown up as he could be, and that he doesn't want to choose going out with his buddies over me. We talked about balance in his life, and mine, and about working towards our future together. All in all, it was a good talk, and I think he's coming around. Thanks for all the good advice everyone! Hopefully this will be my happy ending afterall!

awwww~~~ At least he admitted that he wasn't acting in a mature way! I really do hope that it would work out for the best

[JF21©]

If this were poker, you'd be known as the dunce. And don't say it's not. I just think both your actions are idiotic.

I like this girl. Really I do. I like her as much as getting a yeast infection during my mensi. At least she's an honest and open person with her sexuality and materialistic intentions. Is it the cooch that makes you want things to work out?

-cosign

and i think i'll answer the question for him:

yes.

there's no way in hell it can't be. she's probably amazing in bed...because any sane guy woulda left her ass alone...Tuffcore, it's ok if you wanna stay for the puntang, but don't try to fool yourself that it's deeper than that.you're only gonna end up confusing the both of you..and it's quite obvious that she knows what she wants.

it's ok to have someone to hang with and for sex since you both are consenting adults. it doesn't have to be anything more or anything less than that.

i honestly think that if you want a real relationship you are not gonna find it with her, and she's obviously not gonna change her behavior until she's ready to. so either accept the fact that you two are friends with benefits or leave it alone.

is she the first girl you've been intimate with? sounds like it. if so just know that there are other girls out there..she's not the only one....and quite frankly she shouldn't be your only one if you decide to stay with her. like i said before , find some new female friends to hang out with (you don't necessarily have to sleep with them) but find some other girls to get to know...you never know, you might find someone who's on the same page as you...or this chick that your pining after now may get jealous and realize she's on the verge of loosing you and straightens up...( i mean if you keep giving her second chances, breaking up and begging her to come back not even 15 mins later, empty ultimatums and so on, she's gonna think you are all talk and that she's got the upper hand-which she does) and in her position, we can't blame her for treating you how she does..you allow it.

[hangook/korea]

Well, the advice i was seeking was, "how do i make this work between myself and this girl?"

Most replies were in the variety of, "we don't like this girl so don't be with her."

If we can start over, that would be great. Thanks.

I think you have to beat her at her game.
And you have to be able to put everything on the line.
Even if it means losing $345 for a LV wallet, letting her sleep with some other guy, going out on a date with another girl when you said you'd be with her, or even losing her. Right now you're holding on so tight, you can't see the bad- you just try to justify it.

To me, it looks like everytime she tests your boundaries you just collapse and let her do anything she wants. You're whipped and she knows it. Basically it's a war- you have to break her down and then build her up. All her mind games and all that freaky S&M sex- it's one big power play.

But before you do that, you have talk to her, you have to find out what her weakness is and exploit it. You have to talk to her and have her open up to you. The less she's on to you the better you're off. And since you're in such a low position now, you can probably get her to open up without her suspecting a thing. Everybody says she's horrible, crazy, and bad for you. But why is she like that? Did she have problems at home, with her first boyfriend, maybe she's manic?

[PaNgIeE]

Tuffcore: Um...this is what I think. Leave your S & M in your apartment. I don't think some of us like to read what you and your so-called girl are doing. After reading a bit of what you wrote on here, I'm like in awe. Please keep it to yourself! (no offense).

On top of that, I think you're in for the sex too. Maybe you do have genuine feelings for this girl, I don't know, but it seems like this girl is just holding on to you b/c of certain things -- sex, security, money, convience, or something else. You tell me! I hope you're not holding on to her b/c its been a while since you've gotten some or that you've been in a relationship. If she is serious about you then the flirting and the meeting w/guys later or whatso shouldn't even be happening. C'mon now...its not like we're in HS, or is she? Not trying to make it sound like she's all bad and all, but from what I gather on here from your posts I'm just thinking that you are capable of finding someone who's gonna give you the good sex and more. Of course, this is just my opinion.

Don't need to play games to finally get a relationship out of someone. If someone cares for you then all the other things shouldn't matter so much. If someone has to test me for my love, I'm not gonna stick around for it. I don't need my love to be proven for it to exist or matter. I'm sorry! I'm not that young and years are flying by fast. Love isn't just a game. I suggest you figure what's important to you. If she's important and you want it to work, then make it work. Like hangook/korea wrote...talk to her and have her open up to you. See what is really going on w/her. I'm sure there is. Everyone has a secret or something they are all holding back on.

Either way, good luck and take care! I hope everything works out for you.

[lilyphenix]

As a side note: I talked to my bf last night, and it went really really well. He admitted that he's not being as grown up as he could be, and that he doesn't want to choose going out with his buddies over me. We talked about balance in his life, and mine, and about working towards our future together. All in all, it was a good talk, and I think he's coming around. Thanks for all the good advice everyone! Hopefully this will be my happy ending afterall!

I am happy for you. At least your boyfriend listened and seems open to changes in order to move forward. best of luck Gemini.

[donporkuloin]

Tuffcore: I was just skimming through the last few pages, and I was just wondering why you're getting such scrutiny. So I read your posts for myself. First off of I have to say. Get away from this girl!!!! Now!!!!!! I mean you bought a $650 wallet for this chick. You feel guilty for not buying more from her at Tiffany's. For Christ's sake, it's Tiffany's! Does that not say she's using you financially to some extent. Then the whole sex thing. All that S & M talk. All that was not necessary. Also, the chick wanted to use a knife while having sex with you. Does that not say she's nuts. If there's another guy. Whether the guy is fabricated, or if he exists? Doesn't that tell you something. If he's real? Then she's probably screwing him too. If he's made up? Then she's trying to test you, and either way it's a waste of time. Do you really wanna be with someone that going to try to mess with your emotions like that? If the guy is real? That says she's pretty much seeing by her actions a relationship is not going to happen, because she's obviously enjoying screwing the 2 of you. You said going through this experience is making you a better man. I have to say it's not. It's proving that she's making you her b***h on a regular basis. In my opinion her ability to use you and mistreat you is what she thinks of the equivlence of your manhood. I'm not trying to be negative towards you, but with your situation there are not any positives.

Also you said, "Well, the advice i was seeking was, "how do i make this work between myself and this girl?"

Most replies were in the variety of, "we don't like this girl so don't be with her."

If we can start over, that would be great. Thanks. "

It's not that people don't like the girl so don't be with her. It's like she's pretty much screwing you over worse than a guy getting a colonoscopy without giving consent for it. The results are going to be the same. If pretty much everyone is saying the same thing? There has to be something to it. You're probably not going to make things work with the girl.

[hangook/korea]

It's not that people don't like the girl so don't be with her. It's like she's pretty much screwing you over worse than a guy getting a colonoscopy without giving consent for it. The results are going to be the same. If pretty much everyone is saying the same thing? There has to be something to it. You're probably not going to make things work with the girl.

He's just looking for advice to make it work. Everybody's had a friend that got like this and everybody has experienced this at one point or another- where you get so caught up with one person that you'll do anything to get him/her. The Good Lord could come down and tell you that it won't work out, it wouldn't mean anything to you. You learn by doing. Even if it means you walk into a disaster of epic proportions. Or end up with your dreams coming true.

[JF21©]

How Far Is Too Far On The First Date?
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everytime i log in i see this...so it got me thinking..how far is too far?!

to me open mouth kissing and even kissing on the lips in some cases is way to far for first date status...

but of course there's always exceptions : a friend you've been crushing on for years finally asks you out on a date..if the chemistry is there, then a french kiss isn't out of line, since you know the person...

but that's just me.

what about everybody else? is full fledged making out ok (as the ad picture demonstrates) or are you more comfortable with a hug and a peck on the cheek/lips?


\\
where's hermit?
\\

[papabear]

yes, where is hermit? maybe he's no longer a hermit

[badboy yardy]

lol i don't know about this thread anymore. i do agree, it's pretty useless giving advice here. Personally, i think some of the stuff here needs to go to ranters.

i really doubt some of the stuff that gets written here. it's as if we're all being played. it's all good though, its the intarnet after all. I expect a few posts later to say something like..

yea, so last night she wanted to try something different. she pulled out a strap on, and wanted to try it me. I pleaded with her no, but then she started to cry and said she really wanted to wear it. I reluctantly agreed, and as soon as she was about to enter me from behind, her guy friend called saying that he wants to try it too. as soon as she hung up the phone, someone knocks on my door. It's him, it's Daniel Henney. She brings him to our bed, and puts the strap on. she's about to enter, but Daniels stops her and says "what about the lube?"

.. and so forth.

[Trungy]

How Far Is Too Far On The First Date?
--ad banner @ top of soompi

everytime i log in i see this...so it got me thinking..how far is too far?!

to me open mouth kissing and even kissing on the lips in some cases is way to far for first date status...

but of course there's always exceptions : a friend you've been crushing on for years finally asks you out on a date..if the chemistry is there, then a french kiss isn't out of line, since you know the person...

but that's just me.

what about everybody else? is full fledged making out ok (as the ad picture demonstrates) or are you more comfortable with a hug and a peck on the cheek/lips?

I think it is overrated to keep track of how far you go on a first date. I think the chemistry is all you really need to judge how far you should go on a first date. Personally, I've never slept with anyone on a first date, but if things really hit it off and the mood strikes the both of us, why not? We'd both be full, grown adults (gosh, I hope so!). I trust my own judgment, and I hope any girl I go out with would be too.

Would I be comfortable with just a hug and a simple kiss? Definitely.

[chairmanK]

How Far Is Too Far On The First Date?
--ad banner @ top of soompi

everytime i log in i see this...so it got me thinking..how far is too far?!

I think that holding hands on the first date (with someone whom you don't already know) is too far. But I know that I have unusual standards.

[gemini2007]

I think that holding hands on the first date (with someone whom you don't already know) is too far. But I know that I have unusual standards.

I don't really think you can put boundaries like that on a first date. There are people that feel better about doing things if there are rules involved, and I think that's fine for them if it's something like work, or school or something. However, when it comes to dating, you get mixed up with feelings which are never so consistent. I've always been a go with the flow type of person. If you feel the vibe, everything is clicking, and you feel safe with that individual, I see nothing wrong with french kiss, or makeout, or whatever. Just know that you have to face yourself in the morning, so dont do anything you will really regret and take a second to think about where you want it to go first.

[JJM]

How Far Is Too Far On The First Date?

Driving to another state is too far on a first date.

If the other person and I feel mutual about our actions, it's a go. He respects me and I respect him. No pressure to set boundaries. But some ppl do like to ration out certain things to keep it "exciting".

[twinkl]

How Far Is Too Far On The First Date?
--ad banner @ top of soompi

Well, based on past experience, I'm a prude and a hug at the end of the date is a pretty good sign... otherwise i'll give an awkward handshake and avoid him from that point on.

I wouldn't judge anyone based on how far they went on a first date though. Although........... it's one thing to *hit it off* and enjoy the sparks while they're flying, but it's a totally different thing if you're bringing home a different guy to sleep with every other night. Ya know?

But... personally, I doubt any sparks would be strong enough to make me go beyond a simple kiss on a first date. Now I just gotta wait for someone to prove me wrong... do be do