[watcher]

So i'm just going to keep this short....

I go to barnes and nobles every weekend to study or read some historical books.... in that barnes and nobles there is a starbucks...
Before I would leave I order drinks to go.... Two weeks ago... (school hasn't started) my regular routine I would go and order coffee and a cookie. As I was taking out my wallet to pay for the drink and cookie, the cashier (a really cute guy), told me to not pay for it and it's on him. @_@ (confused... but I took the offered because there was a long line) As he hand me the drinks.... he has wrote his # on my cup of coffee.

He said, "Call me... but don't worry I have cingular too. So you won't lose your minutes."
I was like 'how in the world did he know i have cingular?'

I shrugged it off..... Tuesday.... I walked into my afternoon class... Interpersonal Communication class I have it on Tuesdays and Thursdays. In the class was the starbucks guy... he was talking to my guyfriend (who wanted me to take the class with him). I seated myself next to my guyfriend.

Starbucks guy: "Why didn't you call me?"
I told him I gave the cup to my dad and forgot about his #.
Then he took out a pen and wrote it on my hand.

I haven't call him still............... and i have classes with him today. T_T

Honestly, I wouldn't know what to say to the guy...
I recently just broke up with my exbf of a year and 2 months.... He was my first bf and now... we are really over I just don't know if i can handle it.....


Help plz!

just be honest with him and go from there

[papabear]

^yeah, if you're not ready to date, then tell him that if he wants to ask you out, etc.

otherwise you can be friendly and socialize, but keep some distance until you're ready... but if that's not an option for you, then tell him that...

[addicted2kdrama]

Anyone been in the situation where one of your best friends ditches you just because they get into serious relationship? How do you handle it?

So many times that I'm used to it. I saw my bestfriend like less than 8 times in one year cuz he was having a serious relationship. And both of them were keeping each other whipped. He or she knows that you, the bestfriend will be by his side in need, but the other person (girlfriend or boyfriend) is not in that position yet so he or she has to try hard to get it in that position.

The only thing that would really tick me off is when he's chilling with me but talking to his gf on the phone. I just left when he did that and he never does it again.

My ex was like this, and everyone called him a cheap SOB. And you know what, the whole paying for money, food, etc will never stop because he'll use that afterwards to make you feel guilty about it. "Oh, I paid for this last time, so it's fair that you should pay this time." Which is fine, but he didn't appreciate it when I treated him and just took whatever nice I did for granted, and got upset if I didn't appreciate his efforts. Fact of the matter is, your bf SHOULD NOT feel if gas expenses and whatnot should matter, because he should think that it's worth it to come meet you and hang out with you. I seriously advise you to take a step back and evaluate your bf's personality from a neutral point of view. From my experience, it only got worse after time because our relationship started to revolve around who did more and paid more, which is not how true relationships should be about. Good luck~

Some people are more mathematical. They calculate everything and want as much as they give back physically,emotionally and even $. I think that was your ex's personality. And for of him to say "oh i paid for this last time, so it's fair that you should pay this time." he must of been broke. I too am calculative, however just not in a monetary way. I have this weird thing where I can't let my gf or a date pay more than me ever.

Honestly, I wouldn't know what to say to the guy...
I recently just broke up with my exbf of a year and 2 months.... He was my first bf and now... we are really over I just don't know if i can handle it.....


Help plz!

You can tell your guyfriend first and let him know that your not ready, don't want a rebound, an interested only as friends.
or
You can the starbucks guy straight out.
or
You can tell both sides and make it even more effective.

I'm digressing but I find it hot when I see girls studying and reading at barnes that are 20+.

[caritas]

^how would you know if the girl is really studying?? she could just be there to look at magazines and whatnot...
I find girls who goes and read at barnes and nobles.... well, they probably don't know how to have fun.... that's why they go to boring places.... like barnes & nobles.

No offense to cin.

So i'm just going to keep this short....

I go to barnes and nobles every weekend to study or read some historical books.... in that barnes and nobles there is a starbucks...
Before I would leave I order drinks to go.... Two weeks ago... (school hasn't started) my regular routine I would go and order coffee and a cookie. As I was taking out my wallet to pay for the drink and cookie, the cashier (a really cute guy), told me to not pay for it and it's on him. @_@ (confused... but I took the offered because there was a long line) As he hand me the drinks.... he has wrote his # on my cup of coffee.

He said, "Call me... but don't worry I have cingular too. So you won't lose your minutes."
I was like 'how in the world did he know i have cingular?'

I shrugged it off..... Tuesday.... I walked into my afternoon class... Interpersonal Communication class I have it on Tuesdays and Thursdays. In the class was the starbucks guy... he was talking to my guyfriend (who wanted me to take the class with him). I seated myself next to my guyfriend.

Starbucks guy: "Why didn't you call me?"
I told him I gave the cup to my dad and forgot about his #.
Then he took out a pen and wrote it on my hand.

I haven't call him still............... and i have classes with him today. T_T

Honestly, I wouldn't know what to say to the guy...
I recently just broke up with my exbf of a year and 2 months.... He was my first bf and now... we are really over I just don't know if i can handle it.....


Help plz!

I think you should give the guy a chance.
I mean he isn't your exbf and besides he shows interested in you....
You should just play around... how hard can it be?

If you keep on ignoring him than he's going to think something is wrong.
If I was in your position I would mostly like give the guy a chance and just play it.

AND IF YOU DON'T WANT HIM.... CAN I HAVE HIS #? J/K

[addicted2kdrama]

^how would you know if the girl is really studying?? she could just be there to look at magazines and whatnot...
I find girls who goes and read at barnes and nobles.... well, they probably don't know how to have fun.... that's why they go to boring places.... like barnes & nobles.

Sorry but I go to barnes & nobles and have fun. It's really relaxing and enjoying. I'm a late bloomer in reading books and hated reading when i was young, but now whenever I pick up a book that i like, I can't seem to stop reading it. I can picture everything in my head and time flies by real quick. Everyone has a different way of having fun.

Normally you can tell by seeing if they are like really "into it". And why would anyone go to barnes and nobles if your not going to read a book to buy or study.[

[cin]

just be honest with him and go from there

So I mention to him that I wasn't interested or wasn't ready because of my ex....
and he just smiled. So I hope that is a good thing. ^^
Thank you for the advice!!!

^yeah, if you're not ready to date, then tell him that if he wants to ask you out, etc.
otherwise you can be friendly and socialize, but keep some distance until you're ready... but if that's not an option for you, then tell him that...

I did mention that I wanted to be friends.... and then proceived from there...
Btw, thanks for the advice!

You can tell your guyfriend first and let him know that your not ready, don't want a rebound, an interested only as friends.
or
You can the starbucks guy straight out.
or
You can tell both sides and make it even more effective.
I'm digressing but I find it hot when I see girls studying and reading at barnes that are 20+.

i sound like a nerd when I say I go to barnes and nobles to study.
anywoo, i told him today.... and he was just smiled. SO I hope its a good thing.... and he and I just became friends...
My guy friend thinks I'm being unreasonable.... but I don't care...

Besides my guy friend is gay.... and i don't think I can use him as a rebound... so i didn't understand what you say... hahahahah.... now i feel stupid.

btw, thanks for your advice!!! although, i didn't really quite understand it... but yah.

I think you should give the guy a chance.
I mean he isn't your exbf and besides he shows interested in you....
You should just play around... how hard can it be?

If you keep on ignoring him than he's going to think something is wrong.
If I was in your position I would mostly like give the guy a chance and just play it.

AND IF YOU DON'T WANT HIM.... CAN I HAVE HIS #? J/K

I hate playing games because it will end up hurting someone...
mostly me.... because i hardly understand relationship games...

[addicted2kdrama]

i sound like a nerd when I say I go to barnes and nobles to study.
anywoo, i told him today.... and he was just smiled. SO I hope its a good thing.... and he and I just became friends...
My guy friend thinks I'm being unreasonable.... but I don't care...

Besides my guy friend is gay.... and i don't think I can use him as a rebound... so i didn't understand what you say... hahahahah.... now i feel stupid.

btw, thanks for your advice!!! although, i didn't really quite understand it... but yah.

Oh I mean't telling your guy friend to tell the starbucks guy. That
A your not ready for another guy.
B you don't want a rebound.
C however, you are willing to make a new friend.

[cin]

Oh I mean't telling your guy friend to tell the starbucks guy. That
A your not ready for another guy.
B you don't want a rebound.
C however, you are willing to make a new friend.

ooooooooooooo....
sorry ....hahahahaha....
but i don't like telling other ppl to do it for me...
because words can be switched.

[melkimx]

I find girls who goes and read at barnes and nobles.... well, they probably don't know how to have fun.... that's why they go to boring places.... like barnes & nobles.

No offense to cin.

lol, someone's being overly judgmental. what do you do that's so much more awesome and fun than reading?

[addicted2kdrama]

lol, someone's being overly judgmental. what do you do that's so much more awesome and fun than reading?

He or she probably doesn't enjoy reading as much as some do that's why. I have my close friends call me ask me what i'm doing. I tell them I'm just sleeping and they find me at barnes and nobles. And call me "you effing loser" and asks me to leave cause its boring as hell in here. And I leave to avoid myself the embarassment of them yelling and making a big scene.

[caritas]

lol, someone's being overly judgmental. what do you do that's so much more awesome and fun than reading?

Myspace and Clubbing!
Enjoying my life like I'm suppose to.
You only lived once!

[melkimx]

Myspace and Clubbing!
Enjoying my life like I'm suppose to.
You only lived once!

er i like myspace and clubbing too... but reading has its merits as well... anyway to each her own

[<3goesDOKIDOKI]

i find barnes&noble, borders way more fun than myspace LOL. (i didnt know people still used myspace. thought it was all about FB now)
i love to read but that doesn't mean i dont go out either ;]

[cin]

i find barnes&noble, borders way more fun than myspace LOL. (i didnt know people still used myspace. thought it was all about FB now)
i love to read but that doesn't mean i dont go out either ;]

i say that's my problem i don't go out...
but i'm fine with just spending my days at barnes.....

[epark1281]

lol, someone's being overly judgmental. what do you do that's so much more awesome and fun than reading?

Myspace and Clubbing!
Enjoying my life like I'm suppose to.
You only lived once!

i find bookworms to be kinda cute. I might be the kind that's a little more attracted to the nerdy kinda gal. But it's a moot point, since i'm off the market anyway. I don't know what everybody else thinks.

[aquapoppie]

i think what u wrote really hit me. it is true, that soon or later, it will come to 'i paid last time, its ur turn this time' coz even today, when i suggested i wont have enough money to accompany him to HIS friends farewell, he was like, 'dont worry, i will pay for it THIS time' which makes it all seem like i have to pay for it NEXT time we go out.

i agree with u that he shouldn't feel like gas expenses are up to me - exactly~! he should think its worth coming to see me!! >__<

i think money is a very delicate issue in relationships and its really hard to deal with.
i do need to revalue the relationship if it continues to revolve around who pays more - especially when i'm jobless and he has a job

I'm glad I can be of help and wow, your bf sounds A LOT like my ex. For example, he would ask me to finish his korean hw for him since "I'm so pro"(his words, not mine), despite the fact that I have my OWN hw to finish. But I ended up doing it anyways since he would sulk and whine. I felt like I was babysiting a petulant child most of time. And I started not wanting to go out and eat because I didn't want to deal with the hassle of calculating who paid what last and who paid more and etc. And yet, he had money to buy himself designer shoes and big screen tv and whatnot. I mean, he wasn't a totally bad person; just a self-centered one. But you should definitely ask your friends about their honest opinions about your bf's behavior. All my friends called him out on his stingy, immature behavior, and I got a lot of "I-told-you-so" afterwards. And if you want someone to talk to, I'm always here to help~

Some people are more mathematical. They calculate everything and want as much as they give back physically,emotionally and even $. I think that was your ex's personality. And for of him to say "oh i paid for this last time, so it's fair that you should pay this time." he must of been broke. I too am calculative, however just not in a monetary way. I have this weird thing where I can't let my gf or a date pay more than me ever.

Yes, some people are more mathematical, but that should only apply to people who micromanage their lifestyle, not their relationships. If you start to calculate and put a price on everything you do in a relationship, well... I'm sorry to tell you, but that's not a relationship, but a transaction. You can't calculate and bring logic into relationships/emotions/etc. since there is no logical, rational process about it whatsoever. If that was possible, everyone would fall in love with wealthy, good-looking people, and everyone else is incapable of love or being loved. And no, you can't blame it on someone being broke, since being BROKE is not an excuse to be cheap and take advantage of people of their generosity. I'm not say there shouldn't be reciprocity in a relationship; in fact, it would be weird if there wasn't. But reciprocity shouldn't be calculated, since the whole point of a relationship is to share an experience, not to see who put in more effort/time/money/etc. Well, for meaningful relationships anyways; otherwise, I see no difference in using an escort service: you get what you pay for.

I'm not saying it's right for the other person to keep paying either. If one partner keeps paying for the other, the other partner should realize on his or her own how to show his or her appreciation to the partner. The lack of this realization also indicates a problem. But appreciation doesn't necessarily have to defined to a monetary value.

[suki_*]

Is it weird, to be 20 and not want to be in a relationship?

I don't know... lately, a lot of my friends are getting married. I've only been in one relationship, and that didn't last long.

Maybe it's just the pressure of friends and all, but I feel like if I'm not dating someone... then I'm missing out in something?

hey!
i'm in the same place as you right now, and i think it feels great to not be in a relationship. I'm taking you can spend more time and focus more on things like academia and building stronger relationships with friends and family. i have a few weddings to go to this summer (i feel like that girl from 27 dresses) but i think because we're only 20 there's nothing much to worry about, if the time comes then just go with the flow...

it does make me feel lonely when i see couples holding hands and on the streets walking to lectures and stuff but really, i wouldn't want to date just for the sake of such pda. i want to date someone that has a personality that i can know and love, someone who's just more than pda. i don't feel like i'm missing out of anything because all this missing is worth it when you find the right guy =)

[Sweevil]

Thank god none of my friends are getting married, yet!

[little mixed girl]

Myspace and Clubbing!
Enjoying my life like I'm suppose to.
You only lived once!

myspace is fun?
some people might say that people that spend a lot of time online are boring losers...so, if i were you, i wouldn't act like myspace & clubbing are all that...

[donporkuloin]

Nvm.. I'll leave it alone