[aicsos]

my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me around thanksgiving time(story was basically-a break to see what else was out there for him etc etc). the plan was to remain bestfriends still. everyone around me thought i shouldnt because becoming friends after a breakup will probably lead to being friends with benefits/make things messy, that in the end, ill be the one who'll get hurt and have the short end of the stick. we talk every other day, go out to eat, and hang out all the time. almost like before, just not in the relationship. i still love him and he told me he loves me still. when i brought it up and said he was playing mind games, he takes back what he says and said, he only meant he loves me as a friend.

i feel like a fool that i can't hate the guy and that whenever he calls for me, i answer.
i finally told him tonight that i dont want to see and talk to him for a while. i just want to get my life straight again and not be reminded i was left to see if he can get something better.

is what im doing right? its just hard to move on if things remain how they are.

[papabear]

^move on move on... i think what you need to do is clear now, right?

[negitoro]

Yes, I even brought up the argument, "What if our kid finds your stuff and asks? Do I tell our kid, that's the girl daddy loved before he met your mommy??" His response is the kid shouldn't have looked through his stuff anyway

When I have a kid, I'd be far more worried they'd find the drawer of knives or the cabinet of kitchen chemicals than the shoebox full of ex-stuff I have. That's just to keep things in perspective. In the greater scope of things, unless the woman was their illegitimate mother, I can't really imagine it being that important.

I can understand why it would be cruel. Unfortunately, this has already taken a toll on my health because I have a good feeling he will never change his mind and I'm going to have to live with this. My doctor knows about the effect this has had on my health, and she is alarmed.

I just want to know why you feel this is so important that it's taking a toll on your health. I mean, sure it can be important to you but certainly there have to be more important things in your relationship to focus on than a box of dusty photos and keepsakes? Is he taking them out and sighing wistfully at them everyday or something? If your health can be affected by something like this, how are you going to deal with bigger arguments over more serious issues (like stuff regarding your potential child)?

today[/b].

And if you loved him, you wouldn't give him so much grief over a some stuff? Love works both ways. I knew I'd be hurt if someone forced me to give up anything that meant something to me.

[badboy yardy]

my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me around thanksgiving time(story was basically-a break to see what else was out there for him etc etc). the plan was to remain bestfriends still. everyone around me thought i shouldnt because becoming friends after a breakup will probably lead to being friends with benefits/make things messy, that in the end, ill be the one who'll get hurt and have the short end of the stick. we talk every other day, go out to eat, and hang out all the time. almost like before, just not in the relationship. i still love him and he told me he loves me still. when i brought it up and said he was playing mind games, he takes back what he says and said, he only meant he loves me as a friend.

i feel like a fool that i can't hate the guy and that whenever he calls for me, i answer.
i finally told him tonight that i dont want to see and talk to him for a while. i just want to get my life straight again and not be reminded i was left to see if he can get something better.

is what im doing right? its just hard to move on if things remain how they are.

you're doing the absolute right thing. sometimes its hard to admit a breakup, and many people would resort to being close to them instead of losing them completely. i think people who do that are putting to chance of somehow he/she will change the mind about the breakup.

also, being together with someone will make it tougher to move on. sure there's moments that you could have fun with that person, but i think once in awhile you'll get the memory of "how come our relationship didn't work?"

it will also be excruciatingly painful once either one of you gets involved into another relationship. being a bystander sucks in that situation.

[addicted2kdrama]

my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me around thanksgiving time(story was basically-a break to see what else was out there for him etc etc). the plan was to remain bestfriends still. everyone around me thought i shouldnt because becoming friends after a breakup will probably lead to being friends with benefits/make things messy, that in the end, ill be the one who'll get hurt and have the short end of the stick. we talk every other day, go out to eat, and hang out all the time. almost like before, just not in the relationship. i still love him and he told me he loves me still. when i brought it up and said he was playing mind games, he takes back what he says and said, he only meant he loves me as a friend.

i feel like a fool that i can't hate the guy and that whenever he calls for me, i answer.
i finally told him tonight that i dont want to see and talk to him for a while. i just want to get my life straight again and not be reminded i was left to see if he can get something better.

is what im doing right? its just hard to move on if things remain how they are.

Your doing the right thing. After a 3 year break up being bestfriends isn't such a great idea. Taking a break and reorganizing your life always helps.

[Axela]

my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me around thanksgiving time(story was basically-a break to see what else was out there for him etc etc). the plan was to remain bestfriends still. everyone around me thought i shouldnt because becoming friends after a breakup will probably lead to being friends with benefits/make things messy, that in the end, ill be the one who'll get hurt and have the short end of the stick. we talk every other day, go out to eat, and hang out all the time. almost like before, just not in the relationship. i still love him and he told me he loves me still. when i brought it up and said he was playing mind games, he takes back what he says and said, he only meant he loves me as a friend.

i feel like a fool that i can't hate the guy and that whenever he calls for me, i answer.
i finally told him tonight that i dont want to see and talk to him for a while. i just want to get my life straight again and not be reminded i was left to see if he can get something better.

is what im doing right? its just hard to move on if things remain how they are.

My friend went through something like this, and it lasted around 1.5 years. Its like this, they broke up because they were having too much of an argument. Decided that they are better off as friend, but in fact they both still like each other. But after 1.5 years, they got back togehter =) (totally happy for them).

I guess liking someone (or even loving), doesnt mean you have to be with the person, maybe the timing isnt right yet. I cant tell you when the timing is right, it comes naturally and you will know. I'm sure everything will be fine. If you decided to move on, its better to break it off once and for all. Meaning that, no communication, its going to be hard, but noone said it was easy in the first place.

The decision is up to you, whether you want to continue this relationship and believing that you two will have a second chance, or youre just so fed up with it, and decided to move on.

Keep in mind, loving someone doesnt mean you have to be with them. Sometimes letting go of something means the best of both side. =)

Good luck

[<3goesDOKIDOKI]

My boyfriend still keeps everything from his past relationships (pictures, letters, gifts, etc). It makes me very uncomfortable because he says these things are very important to him. Is it unreasonable for me to ask him to throw this stuff away before we move in together in our new house where we are supposed to build a new life together? He knows it hurts me a lot. I have shed way too many tears over this, but he won't budge.

if hes not looking through the old stuff and reminiscing its not so bad is it?

personally i have a box of old stuff too. i keep it because it holds a lot of good memories.
i dont think its about holding on or throwing things away, its about moving on.
you could have no memorabilia left from your past relationship and still be hung up on your ex.
IMO, i dont think its so bad to look at our past. the person we are today is all due to the experiences we've had in the past.

anyhow, your bf is with you now and that is all that matters.

[mark.]

My ex still sees me as a friend and tries to keep in touch with me.
I feel guilty because I don't care about him anymore and I secretly think he's annoying.
: (
Am I a bad perosn >_<

[aquapoppie]

^nope.
If you don't want to be friends, you don't have to.
Why waste your time on someone you don't really care about?
Just tell him that you're busy and can't talk. One day he'll get the hint and leave you alone.

[addicted2kdrama]

Would you ever consider using a Internet dating site to find a guy or a girl?

[MrsBrianJoo]

nope never. i like meeting guys face to face. the old way is the best way.

[Dr Facepalm]

maybe? but then u forgot to add that lol

yea a big maybe if i get older or something and things happen but rather not

[badboy yardy]

Would you ever consider using a Internet dating site to find a guy or a girl?

i think yes. it's no different than meeting someone on instant messaging, blog, or even soompi.

my boss met his wife on match.com. they're two very similar people, with similar qualities, which i find surprising since i thought their personalities are one in a million. I dislike both of them for those reasons.

only bad thing is that these sites have the reputation as a last resort and that they charge money for their services.

[addicted2kdrama]

i think yes. it's no different than meeting someone on instant messaging, blog, or even soompi.

my boss met his wife on match.com. they're two very similar people, with similar qualities, which i find surprising since i thought their personalities are one in a million. I dislike both of them for those reasons.

only bad thing is that these sites have the reputation as a last resort and that they charge money for their services.

That's why I ask. My friends coworker met his wife through an online dating site. And they are so happy together. I was wondering how many were willing to use it.

[melkimx]

my boss met his wife on match.com. they're two very similar people, with similar qualities, which i find surprising since i thought their personalities are one in a million. I dislike both of them for those reasons.

haha

i always had a weird view of dating services in general, but last week i joined a free site to stalk my friend's profile, and i discovered that it actually has lots of awesome personality quizzes and stuff. i started to look up my matches while hanging out with my bf, and he was like, "you do realize you're surfing a dating site right in front of me," and i was like... heehee. so we started looking at female matches. i did ask him a few times to join... i think it would be fun to see whether we're actually compatible based on their test results, but i don't think he's into it. i erased my profile content after that... not out of guilt, because he doesn't mind, but just fear of exposure.

anyway, i'm not sure how comfortable i would feel posting a public profile on a major dating site, but i would meet someone on one of those sites if i looked at his info and photos and i thought he seemed absolutely perfect. i think people tend to match up pretty well with their online personae, at least generally enough for me to be willing to take that chance (with some precautions).

[white frames]

I don't see meeting someone on websites like match.com any different really than meeting a stranger at a bar, party, via friends..whatever. I know a lot of people are worried that someone lies on their profile etc, but people lie in real life too! lol. One thing I think it's true though that Dr. Drew has talked about is when people develop a relationship online rather than the real world, I think that has potential to be disastrous.

Anyways..I wanted to share something positive since it seems things have been a little bummer on this thread lately.

my evil little plan:

It's been a while since I've enjoyed a Valentines day. Admittedly, I missed the old days where you made mailboxes out of paper bags and taped them to the back of your chair, eagerly awaiting a card from your crush.

There is this girl I like. I could easily just walk up to her and ask her out, and it would be ok, but since valentines is coming up I wanted to do something fun.

I'm having a friend deliver a package to her from a secret admirer: A small box of truffles from La Maison Du chocolat, a couple of tulips and an envelope.

Now here's the fun part.

In the envelop there are 4 cards, on the back of each card are images and on the front is a little note. The images are all clues to who I am, both image wise and something more (more on this later)



card 1 - Image of a bowtie
card 2 - a hat
card 3 - eyeglasses
card 4 - the numbers 213 arranged strangely.

The first 3 cards will have a note split into 3 sections about how I've tried to talk to her before and it not working out so well, so I decided to play a game.

and the final card there is a quote from Lewis Carroll. "Who am I? Ah, that's the greatest puzzle"

Now, the image on the final card is that strange 213. The arrangement of the numbers tell you what order to put the cards in. And the way the numbers are laid out tell you how to turn the cards. So following the arrangement, we place card 2 (hat) upside down, card 1 (bowtie) rightside up, and card 3 (glasses) 90 degrees counter clockwise. You get this



It's subtle, but yes, it's my name! Peter. muaahahahaha

I blame all of this on being a designer.

[ghettogongju]

sorry this was in the wrong palce

[badboy yardy]

ATTN: guys and girls, but ESP GUY

ok maybe this is a stupid question but i just really dont know, call me stupid

say you are a guy. (a FOB, if that matters at all) and you meet a girl, and all her girlfriends. all these girls are 2-3 years older than you. . . you call them all noona, except for one

is that supposed to be some clue that you might like her ?

am i dumb (rhetorical question)

not really. i have a friend who hooked up with an older korean gal and she first started calling her noona as well.

on the otherhand, if you call someone "noonim" expect no chance at all for obvious reasons.

[clockwatcher]

I don't see meeting someone on websites like match.com any different really than meeting a stranger at a bar, party, via friends..whatever. I know a lot of people are worried that someone lies on their profile etc, but people lie in real life too! lol. One thing I think it's true though that Dr. Drew has talked about is when people develop a relationship online rather than the real world, I think that has potential to be disastrous.

Anyways..I wanted to share something positive since it seems things have been a little bummer on this thread lately.

my evil little plan:

It's been a while since I've enjoyed a Valentines day. Admittedly, I missed the old days where you made mailboxes out of paper bags and taped them to the back of your chair, eagerly awaiting a card from your crush.

There is this girl I like. I could easily just walk up to her and ask her out, and it would be ok, but since valentines is coming up I wanted to do something fun.

I'm having a friend deliver a package to her from a secret admirer: A small box of truffles from La Maison Du chocolat, a couple of tulips and an envelope.

Now here's the fun part.

In the envelop there are 4 cards, on the back of each card are images and on the front is a little note. The images are all clues to who I am, both image wise and something more (more on this later)



card 1 - Image of a bowtie
card 2 - a hat
card 3 - eyeglasses
card 4 - the numbers 213 arranged strangely.

The first 3 cards will have a note split into 3 sections about how I've tried to talk to her before and it not working out so well, so I decided to play a game.

and the final card there is a quote from Lewis Carroll. "Who am I? Ah, that's the greatest puzzle"

Now, the image on the final card is that strange 213. The arrangement of the numbers tell you what order to put the cards in. And the way the numbers are laid out tell you how to turn the cards. So following the arrangement, we place card 2 (hat) upside down, card 1 (bowtie) rightside up, and card 3 (glasses) 90 degrees counter clockwise. You get this



It's subtle, but yes, it's my name! Peter. muaahahahaha

I blame all of this on being a designer.

That's ultra cool and sweet but lemme no lie, maybe I need things to be more obvious but I wouldn't read "Peter" from that. But judging from the way you dress (according to the photos you posted), I think she'll probably figure you out from the glasses and hat.

[white frames]

That's ultra cool and sweet but lemme no lie, maybe I need things to be more obvious but I wouldn't read "Peter" from that. But judging from the way you dress (according to the photos you posted), I think she'll probably figure you out from the glasses and hat.

I revamped it after I made this post actually, I transfered it into a lline drawing that's a lot more clearer. Also, I'm not banking on it, I thought it would be a little fun thing to include. I plan to call her up a few days afterwards