[papabear]

Hi guys.

I need some advice here.

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 months now, and so far it's been great, but there's also been a lot of turbulence along the way. He told me he's been suffering a lot throughout the past four months because of our arguments, and we both know it's because of me.

The biggest problem with me is that I'm way too sensitive. I get easily offended, and before all of you start jumping down my throat and start telling me to grow up, I HAVE been trying to change. And of course, it's been anything but easy. Day by day I tell myself to stop taking little things seriously, and I am improving along the way.

The thing is, when it comes to relationships, I take a lot of things my bf says to me to heart. For all of you who are in relationships, how much do you tend to let go of? I know I need to start letting a lot of crap go, in order to save myself and my relationship (I do love him very much) but it's just like "How much do I have to take?" and "Is this worth letting go, or should I talk to him about it?"

I'm so confused. And hurt. And I don't know what to do. When I get bothered by things, should I just put a blanket over it and make pretend nothing happened?

HELP ME.

It might help if you give examples of what offends you, and how you react.

[Echoe]

-there was one time when this girl dissed me in front of him and he didn't say anything to defend me and just stood there and I remember I got extremely upset that he wouldn't stand up for me. I was really angry at him, I was angry at the fact that he didn't defend me and furthermore, I was even angrier that he was the "messenger" when he didn't even bother to do anything. this happened with his sister too and he didn't do anything. Again, I was really upset.

[addicted2kdrama]

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 months now, and so far it's been great, but there's also been a lot of turbulence along the way. He told me he's been suffering a lot throughout the past four months because of our arguments, and we both know it's because of me.

The thing is, when it comes to relationships, I take a lot of things my bf says to me to heart. For all of you who are in relationships, how much do you tend to let go of? I know I need to start letting a lot of crap go, in order to save myself and my relationship (I do love him very much) but it's just like "How much do I have to take?" and "Is this worth letting go, or should I talk to him about it?"

I'm so confused. And hurt. And I don't know what to do. When I get bothered by things, should I just put a blanket over it and make pretend nothing happened?

HELP ME.

You should tell him about it, he might be saying things as a joke and not realizing how much it's hurting you. Don't hold it in.

-there was one time when this girl dissed me in front of him and he didn't say anything to defend me and just stood there and I remember I got extremely upset that he wouldn't stand up for me. I was really angry at him, I was angry at the fact that he didn't defend me and furthermore, I was even angrier that he was the "messenger" when he didn't even bother to do anything. this happened with his sister too and he didn't do anything. Again, I was really upset.

Well, that's kind of hard. I would of done the same thing. I wouldn't get in between a girl fight but he should of stopped it beforehand.

[eatadandelion]

sure, it happens a lot. relationships are like fires. you gotta fuel it constantly and also use the right fuel. ultimately, initial emotions will fade unless you put effort to keep it there.

I guess both of us didn't really want to try anymore..I guess breaking up was the right decision.

Sorry to hear that. I hear you. It does happen, unfortunately, but in order to rekindle the spark and fire you have work and put effort into the relationship.

But I got to the point where I didn't want to try anymore..I didn't care if we were still together or not. College changed us both. Relationships take a lot of work, I am staying away from these until after college >.<

[Aziraphale]

I guess both of us didn't really want to try anymore..I guess breaking up was the right decision.

STOP posting here. You're not 20 yet.

[CapedCrusader]

Unfortunately I can't be in a relationship because of the work I do.

[Tuffcore]

Unfortunately I can't be in a relationship because of the work I do.

Let me guess,

you're a priest/nun?
you're a gigolo/prostitute?
you're a Hollywood celebrity?
you're a Soompi moderator?
you're Edison Chen?

[melkimx]

-there was one time when this girl dissed me in front of him and he didn't say anything to defend me and just stood there and I remember I got extremely upset that he wouldn't stand up for me. I was really angry at him, I was angry at the fact that he didn't defend me and furthermore, I was even angrier that he was the "messenger" when he didn't even bother to do anything. this happened with his sister too and he didn't do anything. Again, I was really upset.

my question is, how could you not get upset about something like that? i would be especially angry if the girl was his friend or sister. otherwise i guess it's more forgivable, but i'd still think it was kind of lame that he's that passive.

i think i come off as easygoing initially, so i tell any guy i'm dating that i have a bad temper and that if he needs someone with a sweet temperament, he should leave now and not delay the inevitable. that way at least he's been warned and can't accuse me of doing an about-face. then when i feel that there's something wrong, i try to decide whether i'm feeling that way because he actually has done or said something that would be construed as crappy by any reasonable person's standards, or because i'm holding him to an unfair standard of my own. if the former, i argue with him. if the latter, i keep it from him and talk to a friend about it, then decide again whether it's worth bringing up with him. of course, my judgment about such matters is suspect, but this is about as much as i can manage when it comes to argument control.

[CapedCrusader]

Let me guess,

you're a priest/nun?
you're a gigolo/prostitute?
you're a Hollywood celebrity?
you're a Soompi moderator?
you're Edison Chen?

No.

Actually, I fight crime.

[papabear]

-there was one time when this girl dissed me in front of him and he didn't say anything to defend me and just stood there and I remember I got extremely upset that he wouldn't stand up for me. I was really angry at him, I was angry at the fact that he didn't defend me and furthermore, I was even angrier that he was the "messenger" when he didn't even bother to do anything. this happened with his sister too and he didn't do anything. Again, I was really upset.

Any other things? I wouldn't want to conclude from this one incident alone, but he sounds immature.

[badboy yardy]

No.

Actually, I fight crime.

if you fight crime and can't get involved into a relationship, i guess that's a "cop-out"?

[xkrnxdrmrx]

I was just curious. Girls/guys if you are in a stable relationship with someone that is really good for you..
how often do you want sex? weekly, i mean.

once or twice?
four-five?
seven+??

I'm just wondering.
Everyone says that guys always are the ones that want it more.
I just wanted to see if i was "normal" hahah because i want it more.
my bf only wants it like....2-3/week. I want it like..5+/week.

I know that everyone's sex drive is different,
but iwas just curious.

thanks.

-EDIT-
if you could, please include ur age. it might help and do more explaining... lol. if u know what i mean. haha

I'M 20 BTW

(topic moved from 'love and relationships' cus this is a grown up thing to talk abou t=)

[addicted2kdrama]

My best friend was telling me he was doing it everyday. And like in the beginning he did it a lot after a month passed by it's just boring and tiring...

[klx13]

Eh, it's very up and down for me. Some weeks I want it everyday, other times I'm fine not doing it at all. It depends on my mood. But BF says he's happy if it's at least 2 times a week minimum.

I'm 23 and we've been together for a little over 2 years now, so I think that's also a factor. We did it more often in the beginning but it's kind of tapered off now.

[HERMIT]

When you're pushing 40, hell - you get it when you can. And only if your body will allow it.

[Echoe]

Aw come on, don't make yourself sound like you're 80.

[HERMIT]

^
Maybe I can just settle for 69.

[SongBird]

^ LOL clever you

I am 21 soon and I want it everyday. My GF on the other hand prefers it on the weekend so maybe 2 times a week if I am lucky. We have been together for about two years now. I still want it everyday.

My ex though she wanted it as much as I did, but our relationship was more lust than love, actually there wasn't any "relationship" at all. Just sex I guess. And she's more "modern" thinking were sex was just like an exercise to her. It meant nothing to her. But she ain't no hoe so don't start labelling her as such. She didn't screw anybody that walked. She just like to do it without any attachment. An there's nothing wrong with that.

While my future wife thinks it more meaningful and she only wants it when she's in the mood and not having her monthly flow. Eh. I love her so it's not a big deal to me.

EDIT:

I just wanted to see if i was "normal" hahah because i want it more.
my bf only wants it like....2-3/week. I want it like..5+/week.

You are awesome. I know girls in my life who wants it just as much too. Most girls I find don't want it as much are either insecure about their bodies or haven't matured out yet. And then there are those who just don't like it as much. I wonder how I can be like that too...

Again, you are awesome.

[JJM]

My bf keeps up as best he can.

[addicted2kdrama]

^ LOL