[pikapika]

i think "religious" is a very very broad term

i would have to say that my faith in what i believe in is the most important thing to look into a relationship
all my ambitions and dreams are very strongly tied to what i believe in

on another note

i think i will be able to know if someone is truly right for me when i can say
"i like myself best when im with you"

does that make sense to anyone? it just clicks for me

[addicted2kdrama]

i think "religious" is a very very broad term

i would have to say that my faith in what i believe in is the most important thing to look into a relationship
all my ambitions and dreams are very strongly tied to what i believe in

on another note

i think i will be able to know if someone is truly right for me when i can say
"i like myself best when im with you"

does that make sense to anyone? it just clicks for me

^ I have a feeling you'll end up marrying a guy friend.

I would only think think it has a correlation when your dreams and ambitions are related to religious teachings directly.

[watcher]

Hmm... How would you know what the intent is before the date? or is the only way to find out after the date.

you could always ask her if she would like to go on a date, instead of asking her if she wants to go eat dinner. otherwise, you just go by feel. sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss. haha

in case you're worried about whether or not your outings are dates or not, don't worry about it. if you keep meeting up, you'll get a better idea of where she stands. if not, then ask her out on a date. she'll give you a pretty clear response on where the both of you stand.

[addicted2kdrama]

you could always ask her if she would like to go on a date, instead of asking her if she wants to go eat dinner. otherwise, you just go by feel. sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss. haha

in case you're worried about whether or not your outings are dates or not, don't worry about it. if you keep meeting up, you'll get a better idea of where she stands. if not, then ask her out on a date. she'll give you a pretty clear response on where the both of you stand.

HaHa it was a miss. On my first date after 3 years.

[xJK]

Is it wrong for me to be 'seeing' my ex boyfriend of three years?

we broke up in january and just over the weekend we kissed/hooked up watever you call it.
i have no intention of getting back with him but he really wants me back.
i've made it clear to him that i didnt want to be with him.. but we can be friendss.
am i just making this harder for him?

[little mixed girl]

I'm confused... So what is dating?

If I asked a friend "You want to watch a movie tomorrow?" is that dating?

And if a friend asked me "you want to take me out to dinner this saturday?" is that a date?

How about just meeting your girlfriend and going to the movies?

none of those is dating unless both parties agree that it's a date.
a movie with a friend is just that...

I think religion gives you stronger ethics and morals. People without religion have less rules and restrictions than those who are religious.

However, religion giving me ambitions and goals I don't see much of a correlation.

i don't think that religion gives you stronger morals or ethics.
think about how many wars have been started in the name of religion, think about the people enslaved and people who had their lands colonized because of religion.

morals come from yourself and family.

i know "religious" people who are totally scheming, and religious people who are actually good-hearted and true people.
the same with non-religious people.

[jshat4]

Haha that's funnyyy.."religious" vs. religious. It's just another one of those tolerance things b/w couples, just like how...some people prefer to date the same race, similar socioeconomic status etc.

xJK, if you don't want to get back with him, I wouldn't really kiss/make out with him....there needs to be some boundary set before you can truly be "friends".

[little mixed girl]

yeah, i have to use quotation marks to distinguish between people who are acutally good people that are religious from the type of people who claim to be religious while cheating people/spreading lies/etc.

[watcher]

HaHa it was a miss. On my first date after 3 years.

no worries... u got plenty of time.
you should just date random girls for practice.

[jshat4]

Practicing dating, eh? I think it's for the strong-hearted. You don't want to get in too deep...and then realize it's not you that's doing the practicing, but you're the one being practiced ON. Heh.

[addicted2kdrama]

i don't think that religion gives you stronger morals or ethics.
think about how many wars have been started in the name of religion, think about the people enslaved and people who had their lands colonized because of religion.

morals come from yourself and family.

Wouldn't you say from the bible also. Morals do come family I agree, but I'm saying family and religion gives a person stronger morals and ethics to live by. I'm not saying all do but most religious people do. Like for example the bible tells us whats ring and whats wrong and it teaches us principles we must/should apply to our daily life. And with that we determine whether an act is moral or immoral.

[addicted2kdrama]

Practicing dating, eh? I think it's for the strong-hearted. You don't want to get in too deep...and then realize it's not you that's doing the practicing, but you're the one being practiced ON. Heh.

lol karma.

You know whats weird? I don't know why I felt so intimidated by her. My mind kept telling me that she's too good for me and that she's on a league that's not on my level. I wonder if this happens to anyone?

[watcher]

Practicing dating, eh? I think it's for the strong-hearted. You don't want to get in too deep...and then realize it's not you that's doing the practicing, but you're the one being practiced ON. Heh.

if you get in too deep, then you go all the way with it. what's the diff between falling in love with someone before you start dating and after you start dating? nothin much IMO... hehe... you're still stuck in the predicament of trying to win someone over. if anything, practice dates improve the likelihood that you'll find someone you like, and in the process, at the very worst case, you learn how to better handle yourself the next time. eventually, you'll reach a point where you know proper etiquette and the protocols by which you can even make someone fall for you in no time.

once you reach this point though... i can only quote the famous line... "with great power comes great responsibility!" hhehe

lol karma.

You know whats weird? I don't know why I felt so intimidated by her. My mind kept telling me that she's too good for me and that she's on a league that's not on my level. I wonder if this happens to anyone?

just means you lack confidence, which sorta shows from all your posts

[jshat4]

if you get in too deep, then you go all the way with it. what's the diff between falling in love with someone before you start dating and after you start dating? nothin much IMO... hehe... you're still stuck in the predicament of trying to win someone over. if anything, practice dates improve the likelihood that you'll find someone you like, and in the process, at the very worst case, you learn how to better handle yourself the next time. eventually, you'll reach a point where you know proper etiquette and the protocols by which you can even make someone fall for you in no time.

once you reach this point though... i can only quote the famous line... "with great power comes great responsibility!" hhehe



just means you lack confidence, which sorta shows from all your posts

But that kind of defies logic. By "practicing", it indicates that you are not being "serious" about it..you are "just practicing", testing the water so to speak. Someone explained to me the difference b/w "going out" and "dating"...how "going out" is like this practice you speak of, and "dating" is actually putting in some type of commitment.

[watcher]

But that kind of defies logic. By "practicing", it indicates that you are not being "serious" about it..you are "just practicing", testing the water so to speak. Someone explained to me the difference b/w "going out" and "dating"...how "going out" is like this practice you speak of, and "dating" is actually putting in some type of commitment.

When I hear "practice", I think, "I'm going to improve my dating skills/experience with this person, but I do not want a long-term relationship or future with this individual".

So if you go in too deep, then you're kind of out of luck, because you never really wanted a future with them (for whatever reasons), but now you've fallen in love, and you kind of have to "settle". Why not just do it just the first time and look for people you wouldn't mind having a future with?

I was gonna do that..the practicing thing, then I realized it was gonna be a waste of my time/emotions. And I don't have very good self-control. I don't want to fall in love with a guy I don't see myself having a future with, creating more problems down the road. In high school, oh yeah, who cares, it's just fun. But now at this age? I don't want to go through that. I mean if it happens..it happens. I'm not expecting the first relationship to be all roses and smiles --> marriage. But at least you're going in, thinking I'm going to put in commitment to potentially make this work and not thinking of it as "practice".

I'd like to improve my skills too =P But I'm not strong-hearted enough not to hurt myself in the process w/ all the emotions/time/effort and the likes.

no one said you cannot change minds as you go. when you graduate from college and get a job, you might consider that a stepping stone for what you really want. but perhaps somewhere along the way, not only did you get experience, but you realized the company is pretty good and you have room to grow and enough opportunities to keep you happy until you retire.

it's similar when dating. you might start out thinking about gaining experience and learning the way of the relationship, but somewhere along the way, you might realize the person was a diamond in the rough. when you start dating, you know very little about a person. as a result, you may feel like the person doesn't live up to your expectations, when in reality, that person could've been just what the doctor ordered.

once you get to know someone more deeply, you get a better idea of whether or not the person fits your ideals. if you fall in love with that person, there's certainly a reason why. if that person doesn't live up to your initial expectations even after getting to know him/her, you will likely call it off a long time before the person really grows on you and makes it hard for you to let go. if anything, those that fall way too fast are the ones who already have expectations of the other person, but in this case, you go in with little expectations at all.

therefore, if you go in looking for practice, you won't come out head over heels unless there really was something great about the person you realized after the fact. by then, it's no longer practice, but still a learning experience in which you play for keeps.

in my case, whenever i go on dates, i usually just go through the motions. we talk, have a few drinks, share our stories and dreams, maybe catch an exhibit or show or whatever to give us something to talk about later, and then call it a night. if i really like the person or had a great time, i call again within a few days and set up a time for the following weekend. if i don't, i might follow up with a call during the next weekend to say hi, and let them know i'll be busy for a while.

on a side note, this is especially useful for guys... but dating someone you don't like gives you a fair idea of how to be confident. once you feel you got nothin to lose, you will enable yourself to do certain things without worrying about what she will think. let's you experiment a bit so that later on, when you do like someone [might be the same person you experimented on... haha], you can try out the things that worked with confidence, and also know when you're being a wuss so get your head back on straight. it's like riding a bike and knowing what it feels like to achieve balance.

[addicted2kdrama]

just means you lack confidence, which sorta shows from all your posts

LOL

didnt you say you live in/near ktown? that neighborhood doesn't look like anywhere near ktown... unless you're in one of those gated areas which poor guys like me have no access too! hahaha...but even then, the landscaping and architecture look like those areas out in diamond bar, rowland heights, etc.

btw... with a ride like that, how do you NOT score chics?? sheesh!

I don't live in Ktown but i'm not too far from it. And yes I live in a Gated community.

lol, I don't have problems getting a date or scoring chicks but after my ex 3 years ago I just decided to stay away from dating/relationships for a while. I'm not a good looking guy but my personality takes me places from time to time.

Oh and also I don't want to use wealth/material things to score chicks. I personally think it's lame and pathetic. And if girls ask me for a ride and they seem more interested in my car than me, I point to the trunk and tell them only if they fit.

And the only reason I went on my last date was because she was overly attractive + smart + so many other things and I also said no to her once before on being her date.

[watcher]

LOL



I don't live in Ktown but i'm not too far from it. And yes I live in a Gated community.

lol, I don't have problems getting a date or scoring chicks but after my ex 3 years ago I just decided to stay away from dating/relationships for a while. I'm not a good looking guy but my personality takes me places from time to time.

Oh and also I don't want to use wealth/material things to score chicks. I personally think it's lame and pathetic.

And the only reason I went on my last date was because she was overly attractive + smart + so many other things and I also said no to her once before on being her date.

dunno... for some reason, i picture you a shy guy wanting to fall in love again. haha... perhaps i'm just totally wrong

in any case, i don't pull the wealth card either... if anything, the only things that make me look nice are my suits. i drive around in a toyota. [i want my MPG! haha]. but at the same time, i still try to dress well and look good. this is not to show off and pretend i'm the bomb, but it does make a good impression.

i think in the end, the factor that decides whether or not a person will respond favorably is mostly by your appearance. as shallow as that might sound, i think there's nothing wrong with looking good, whether it means driving a nice car or perhaps for girls, wearing the right combination of clothes or touching up with some makeup. these things are all pretty much the same... you're using an outward appearance to create an opportunity to get to know the inside.

[addicted2kdrama]

dunno... for some reason, i picture you a shy guy wanting to fall in love again. haha... perhaps i'm just totally wrong

in any case, i don't pull the wealth card either... if anything, the only things that make me look nice are my suits. i drive around in a toyota. [i want my MPG! haha]. but at the same time, i still try to dress well and look good. this is not to show off and pretend i'm the bomb, but it does make a good impression.

i think in the end, the factor that decides whether or not a person will respond favorably is mostly by your appearance. as shallow as that might sound, i think there's nothing wrong with looking good, whether it means driving a nice car or perhaps for girls, wearing the right combination of clothes or touching up with some makeup. these things are all pretty much the same... you're using an outward appearance to create an opportunity to get to know the inside.

Your half right I'm not shyat all. I can't stop talking thats my problem. haha but yeah I want to fall in love. The thing is I used to create an outward appearance to create an opportunity but it wasn't too good. So I'm hoping instead of creating an opportunity, I'm going to run into an opportunity by mere chance. I guess I'm living in a korean drama. haha

Me too, only time I really look nice are when i get into a suit. I actually get passed for being a pretty boy.

[jshat4]

no one said you cannot change minds as you go. when you graduate from college and get a job, you might consider that a stepping stone for what you really want. but perhaps somewhere along the way, not only did you get experience, but you realized the company is pretty good and you have room to grow and enough opportunities to keep you happy until you retire.

it's similar when dating. you might start out thinking about gaining experience and learning the way of the relationship, but somewhere along the way, you might realize the person was a diamond in the rough. when you start dating, you know very little about a person. as a result, you may feel like the person doesn't live up to your expectations, when in reality, that person could've been just what the doctor ordered.

once you get to know someone more deeply, you get a better idea of whether or not the person fits your ideals. if you fall in love with that person, there's certainly a reason why. if that person doesn't live up to your initial expectations even after getting to know him/her, you will likely call it off a long time before the person really grows on you and makes it hard for you to let go. if anything, those that fall way too fast are the ones who already have expectations of the other person, but in this case, you go in with little expectations at all.

therefore, if you go in looking for practice, you won't come out head over heels unless there really was something great about the person you realized after the fact. by then, it's no longer practice, but still a learning experience in which you play for keeps.

in my case, whenever i go on dates, i usually just go through the motions. we talk, have a few drinks, share our stories and dreams, maybe catch an exhibit or show or whatever to give us something to talk about later, and then call it a night. if i really like the person or had a great time, i call again within a few days and set up a time for the following weekend. if i don't, i might follow up with a call during the next weekend to say hi, and let them know i'll be busy for a while.

on a side note, this is especially useful for guys... but dating someone you don't like gives you a fair idea of how to be confident. once you feel you got nothin to lose, you will enable yourself to do certain things without worrying about what she will think. let's you experiment a bit so that later on, when you do like someone [might be the same person you experimented on... haha], you can try out the things that worked with confidence, and also know when you're being a wuss so get your head back on straight. it's like riding a bike and knowing what it feels like to achieve balance.

Haha it's dejavu again. You probably really really won't like hearing this, but you remind me of my mom a lot.

[watcher]

Haha it's dejavu again. You probably really really won't like hearing this, but you remind me of my mom a lot. She keeps telling me all this, sometimes even in the same words. And I really don't like admitting both of you are semi-right. But I'm still hanging onto that thread of hope, that maybe somewhere, out of nowhere, I won't have to work for it, and someone will enter my life. But yes, realistically, you need to build on the exterior to have an opportunity to show the interior.

But let me give you an example to counter the previous situation. Say I'm going away to school in a year. I date some dude for half a year. He's evidently not going to the same place = long distance if I continue it. And he's not someone I see right now as a future LTR partner. Sure, practice...but is it worth it? Hmm...

And I guess everyone is different. But I'm very stubborn =P And I don't like seeing relationships as an interview where I have to prep like crazy like I've been doing for the last couple of weeks. Because frankly, I associate very negative feelings of anxiety and uncertainty with interviews. VERY negative ones. And to equate relationships with that *sighs* makes me well..sad Because the way you just described it, I don't see myself enjoying that...it's more like ..I dunno, ack. Time will tell.

And one last comment, watcher, you seem VERY VERY smooth w/ this..how come you haven't found a girl yet? Too high expectations? Haha no one met your big 3 yet?

nothin wrong with being a romantic... it's just that you put your love life outside of your hands. as long as you understand you can control your situation when you want, you can fall in love however way you want. it's just that there's no real guarantee for anything.

side note: people call me ajussi... i guess you're not the only one that think i'm like their mom or dad. lol