[Aziraphale]

I agree with mahjah.
I have a question though. Do the girls care about "potential" and somthing completely different, "family money" ?

What's "family money"? I don't understand.

Not all girls are materialistic and care only for money, y'know.

[HERMIT]

I think a better, more general term, is "security".
And who wouldn't want that? That's something that both genders strive for, not only to attain for themselves but from the others that they prospectively choose.

It's just that to a good number of people, security just happens do be defined by "money". It is a means to attain that security - however that "security" is defined from person to person.

-----

As for "family money", I think it's meant to mean money that's been handed down within the family (ie. inheritance, trust fund kid, etc.) as opposed to a person that actually earns their own money outright - hence, realizing their "potential".

[Fal-chan]

I agree with mahjah.
I have a question though. Do the girls care about "potential" and somthing completely different, "family money" ?

I totally do, about both. I actually tend to be really attracted to guys with a lot of family money and not realize that that's why I like them until months later, it's really random. I think it's because people who grew up with a lot of money often have a better chance of having a lot of class and confidence and other sorts of things that are really attractive in guys. But having a lot of potential to make money in the future is a good thing too. Like mickey012 says, I don't want to have a husband sitting at home doing nothing while I'm out working to support him. My parents are like that and it's NOT fun for anyone and definitely something I want to avoid in my future relationships.

[Laxntiga]

So.... security in general is what girls like/want. Which includes potentional and family money to fall back on.

[panda]

So.... security in general is what girls like/want. Which includes potentional and family money to fall back on.

guys want that too, of course... being married to your boss's hot daughter is just as a fantasy of boning a hot nurse.

but those who strive off of a relationship based off of money do not last. coming from a conservative and wealthy korean family, i've had my shares of witnessing 'money families' through match pairing through korean shamans, match makers and grandparents/parents match making... these couples noticed they did not love each other and often file for divorce after bearing children for the sake of their own family heritage and honor. so many of my friends had divorced parents or on the verge of divorce.

[watcher]

guys want that too, of course... being married to your boss's hot daughter is just as a fantasy of boning a hot nurse.

but those who strive off of a relationship based off of money do not last. coming from a conservative and wealthy korean family, i've had my shares of witnessing 'money families' through match pairing through korean shamans, match makers and grandparents/parents match making... these couples noticed they did not love each other and often file for divorce after bearing children for the sake of their own family heritage and honor. so many of my friends had divorced parents or on the verge of divorce.

yea...a close friend of mine divorced several years ago because she couldnt take it. marriage was built on money, and the relationship soon crumbled.

i almost dated a hot girl who's dad was CEO of a software company in taiwan. i had a gf at the time...

darn my luck!

[donporkuloin]

I was just doing some thinking. Better yet.. I'll explain..


Peter developed a friendship with Angela. Over time Peter was always someone Angela could ask for advice on guys. Only because Peter was somewhat older than Angela. During the way Peter started to gain some interest in Angela. Peter told Angela, but they remained friends though. She ended up getting a bf, and they stopped talking for a while, but they ended up retaining the friendship later on. As Angela was going through heartbreaks and dissapointments of different bf's Peter was someone Angela could talk to for questions, and communicate with about the stuff she was going through. Peter could never spend any time with her. Due to a couple of things. Distance, and Peter was making the effort to get his life together. Peter knew he would finally get to spend some time with Angela on a frequent basis, and he let Angela know. Both were excited about it, but Peter had to wait again to see her, because when he was supposed to move closer he had to wait. The fact that Peter had to wait was out of his control. Peter let Angela know about this, but he never got a response from her about it. Peter knows his friendship with Angela is still there. However, Peter is finally going to move closer to her. No waiting. Peter is finally going to be able to spend some time with Angela. Peter realized that Angela seems to have found another guy. Peter is still moving so he can be closer to her, but also Peter has a good offer for job training, and a great job lined up at the end of his job training. Peter respects his friendship with Angela, but wants to win Angela's heart. Not in the sense that it's a prize, but in the sense that he genuinely cares for her. What should Peter do?

[kuli]

I was just doing some thinking. Better yet.. I'll explain..
Peter developed a friendship with Angela. Over time Peter was always someone Angela could ask for advice on guys. Only because Peter was somewhat older than Angela. During the way Peter started to gain some interest in Angela. Peter told Angela, but they remained friends though. She ended up getting a bf, and they stopped talking for a while, but they ended up retaining the friendship later on. As Angela was going through heartbreaks and dissapointments of different bf's Peter was someone Angela could talk to for questions, and communicate with about the stuff she was going through. Peter could never spend any time with her. Due to a couple of things. Distance, and Peter was making the effort to get his life together. Peter knew he would finally get to spend some time with Angela on a frequent basis, and he let Angela know. Both were excited about it, but Peter had to wait again to see her, because when he was supposed to move closer he had to wait. The fact that Peter had to wait was out of his control. Peter let Angela know about this, but he never got a response from her about it. Peter knows his friendship with Angela is still there. However, Peter is finally going to move closer to her. No waiting. Peter is finally going to be able to spend some time with Angela. Peter realized that Angela seems to have found another guy. Peter is still moving so he can be closer to her, but also Peter has a good offer for job training, and a great job lined up at the end of his job training. Peter respects his friendship with Angela, but wants to win Angela's heart. Not in the sense that it's a prize, but in the sense that he genuinely cares for her. What should Peter do?

He should talk to her about it, tell her clearly how he feels about her and wants a relationship. Angela seems like she isn't sure how she feels about Peter, he is always there for her so that makes her perhaps take him for granted. If Angela still isn't sure about things then I think Peter should move on, cause it seems like she'll always be this way. If Peter still wants to wait, then he should try not to come across as a friend but rather a potential bf(but not to forcefully, it might turn her off), maybe that might help. Btw is Peters job offer close to Angela?

[donporkuloin]

He should talk to her about it, tell her clearly how he feels about her and wants a relationship. Angela seems like she isn't sure how she feels about Peter, he is always there for her so that makes her perhaps take him for granted. If Angela still isn't sure about things then I think Peter should move on, cause it seems like she'll always be this way. If Peter still wants to wait, then he should try not to come across as a friend but rather a potential bf(but not to forcefully, it might turn her off), maybe that might help. Btw is Peters job offer close to Angela?

Peter's job offer is sort of close to Angela. Peter's job offer is 1 state away from Angela, but Angela visits the city of where Peter's job offer is.

[kuli]

Peter's job offer is sort of close to Angela. Peter's job offer is 1 state away from Angela, but Angela visits the city of where Peter's job offer is.

Then Peter should make a move before the other guy takes her away.

[sugarcakes]

I was just doing some thinking. Better yet.. I'll explain..
Peter developed a friendship with Angela. Over time Peter was always someone Angela could ask for advice on guys. Only because Peter was somewhat older than Angela. During the way Peter started to gain some interest in Angela. Peter told Angela, but they remained friends though. She ended up getting a bf, and they stopped talking for a while, but they ended up retaining the friendship later on. As Angela was going through heartbreaks and dissapointments of different bf's Peter was someone Angela could talk to for questions, and communicate with about the stuff she was going through. Peter could never spend any time with her. Due to a couple of things. Distance, and Peter was making the effort to get his life together. Peter knew he would finally get to spend some time with Angela on a frequent basis, and he let Angela know. Both were excited about it, but Peter had to wait again to see her, because when he was supposed to move closer he had to wait. The fact that Peter had to wait was out of his control. Peter let Angela know about this, but he never got a response from her about it. Peter knows his friendship with Angela is still there. However, Peter is finally going to move closer to her. No waiting. Peter is finally going to be able to spend some time with Angela. Peter realized that Angela seems to have found another guy. Peter is still moving so he can be closer to her, but also Peter has a good offer for job training, and a great job lined up at the end of his job training. Peter respects his friendship with Angela, but wants to win Angela's heart. Not in the sense that it's a prize, but in the sense that he genuinely cares for her. What should Peter do?

peter should focus on his great new job.

[UoMDeacon]

Peter should also stop referring to himself in the 3rd person, so Jason doesn't get a headache when reading the post.

peter should focus on his great new job.

[Luna]

Man.....it's so hard to let go of someone who doesnt wanna be let go....even if it's in your best interest.
Blah.....






-Luna-

[watcher]

Man.....it's so hard to let go of someone who doesnt wanna be let go....even if it's in your best interest.
Blah.....
-Luna-

that's the story of my last couple weeks...

[EYJAYJAY]

peter should focus more on his job. of course, try to win the girl's heart, but if it doesn't work, then just stay friends and move on.

[hayabusa01]

When I flew here to Japan from Seatle, there was a cute girl that sat next to me on the plane. I didn't really talk to her because I was too busy sleeping, haha. Later on we ended up having a class together and we got to know each other. She was always so shy and soft-spoken. I think after a while she started having a crush on me, but there really wasn't much of a chance for anything once I started working 12-14 hours a day, 7 days a week. I didn't see her for like, two months.

I ran into her again a month ago and she said she had a boyfriend, but I never called her since I was in a temporary dorm without a phone (that and work was hellish, again). I didn't see her again until yesterday. The first thing she told me was that they broke up, and that she had taken a trip to Korea for three weeks (before breaking up). I didn't have any time to sit down and chat with her so I patted her on the head, gave a wise-ass comment, and told her I'd call her later that night.

The first time I called her last night, it was a bit brief because she said she might be going out. But she sounded a bit different than from how I remembered her, she just sounded a bit different but I couldn't exactly figure it out. She ended our brief conversation what I thought sounded like an "I love you". I wasn't prepared to hear anything that came after "buh-bye" so I missed it.

Then I hopped in the shower and she called back and left a message. I didn't really listen to the message so I just went straight to calling her back. When I returned her call we got into a bit of a fun conversation. And yeah, I figured out why she sounded a bit different... she was excited and flirty. She had me promise her a date later on. We ended our conversation with the usual "buh-bye" and then she stuttered an "I..." just as I hung up. It had me wondering what she was gonna say, but I didn't bother calling back for it.

After the conversation I went through my answering machine's messages and started clearing them out. When I got to hers I listened to it more attentively. This time it was loud and clear, she did say "I love you".

It's got me... I don't know what word to use... concerned. I'm not sure why. I'm guessing it's because I can't tell if she's just one of those girls who use the word liberally, or still in the habit of saying that, or if maybe she means it (or at least thinks she does). And at the moment I'm still doing some emotional recovery over the past few years, so I'm being a bit more cautious these days.

Actually, I've always been afraid everytime a girl said that to me. Even if she's playing around. I still remember that one girl that I spent two hours talking to the first day we met at the mall... and then the next day she was already talking about being my wife. Like... whoa.

[donporkuloin]

hayabusa01: My thought is this girl probably says I love you recklessly. I think you should hangout with her, and ask her why she said, "I love you." I think that you should just get to know her, and just let he know that you're uncomfortable with her saying I love you. If you decide to hangout with her? Do it as a friend, and go from there if you choose to?

[sugarcakes]

i'd wouldn't pay too much attention to it. if she loves you, she'd come and tell you that in your face.

[nisee]

here's one: boy and girl are starting to be really good friends. both enjoy each other's company. boy is starting to like girl (he didn't really "confess", but girl can tell .. unless confessing is telling what an awesome, beautiful, fun, loving girl is?) girl has none of the "i want to jump him" (the good kind) feelings that one does when she likes a boy.

so long story short, it's one sided. how to let him down easy? because she's a dear friend to girl

[astig]

When I flew here to Japan from Seatle, there was a cute girl that sat next to me on the plane. I didn't really talk to her because I was too busy sleeping, haha. Later on we ended up having a class together and we got to know each other. She was always so shy and soft-spoken. I think after a while she started having a crush on me, but there really wasn't much of a chance for anything once I started working 12-14 hours a day, 7 days a week. I didn't see her for like, two months.

I ran into her again a month ago and she said she had a boyfriend, but I never called her since I was in a temporary dorm without a phone (that and work was hellish, again). I didn't see her again until yesterday. The first thing she told me was that they broke up, and that she had taken a trip to Korea for three weeks (before breaking up). I didn't have any time to sit down and chat with her so I patted her on the head, gave a wise-ass comment, and told her I'd call her later that night.

The first time I called her last night, it was a bit brief because she said she might be going out. But she sounded a bit different than from how I remembered her, she just sounded a bit different but I couldn't exactly figure it out. She ended our brief conversation what I thought sounded like an "I love you". I wasn't prepared to hear anything that came after "buh-bye" so I missed it.

Then I hopped in the shower and she called back and left a message. I didn't really listen to the message so I just went straight to calling her back. When I returned her call we got into a bit of a fun conversation. And yeah, I figured out why she sounded a bit different... she was excited and flirty. She had me promise her a date later on. We ended our conversation with the usual "buh-bye" and then she stuttered an "I..." just as I hung up. It had me wondering what she was gonna say, but I didn't bother calling back for it.

After the conversation I went through my answering machine's messages and started clearing them out. When I got to hers I listened to it more attentively. This time it was loud and clear, she did say "I love you".

It's got me... I don't know what word to use... concerned. I'm not sure why. I'm guessing it's because I can't tell if she's just one of those girls who use the word liberally, or still in the habit of saying that, or if maybe she means it (or at least thinks she does). And at the moment I'm still doing some emotional recovery over the past few years, so I'm being a bit more cautious these days.

Actually, I've always been afraid everytime a girl said that to me. Even if she's playing around. I still remember that one girl that I spent two hours talking to the first day we met at the mall... and then the next day she was already talking about being my wife. Like... whoa.

that is really weird..i would think only a very naive or desperate person would say "i love u" after knowing the person for such a short time....i can see how it is troublesome for u..maybe u should bring it up with her..but bring it up in a fun and casual way lol..