[Tuffcore]

BUT here comes the bad news: she didn't return my call (i left a voice message too), and the two messages i've sent. I take this as a sign that she is not interested. Truthfully speaking, i am quite annoyed at how impolite she is acting. And yes this is it. I think thats it for us. I'm not used to being a pest, and this is what she is making me feel like.

What were the messages you sent her?

[kkkkk]

What were the messages you sent her?

One was a goodnight message (not those generic forward kinds of course), the other was when i bumped into one of her friends outside.

Technically speaking, neither "requires" a reply. But well, i guess its a good way to gauge if she is interested.

[ladyatakari]

So...we've been in a relationship since highschool. We're approaching third year of college now. However, there are a few problems. It's a very long distance relationship (and it always has been), right now we're about 3 hours away from each other. We haven't gone on a date by ourselves (it's always group dates) and to be honest I'm not sure where we're heading. He wants to go to grad school at Cornell and I'm planning to work in California with slight possibility of doing some work in China.

It's really sad because I hung out with some friends yesterday and I realized that our hangout felt more like a date than anything I've ever done with my boyfriend, with or without a group. My friends and I went to lunch, movie, karaoke, and spent the rest of the night at the pier. They were nice enough to buy me a little souvenir thing I've been wanting for two years now too so I really enjoyed it.

I get like, special gifts on my birthday and Christmas from my boyfriend. And then on Valentine's day he'll send me something sweet. And then throughout the year I'll get like, a few random gifts from him and some visits...and...that's it really.

We don't talk on the phone because I feel like it's a waste of time (I'm a really busy person so I rather use the internet and multitask). And we don't talk online because he sleeps early and I usually talk to people late at night. We experimented with e-mails for a while but I don't know - there's something about having a problem and having a person be able to talk about it right away.

When the chance comes that we do get to out, we pay for whatever we ourselves buy.

I don't know...it feels weird to me. Like, I don't really feel like a girlfriend, and because I'm so busy too I guess he doesn't feel like a boyfriend. There's a lot of faults on both ends.

I guess my main question is - how do you treat your significant other, or how would you treat them if you had one? I'm very lost and have no idea what it means to be a girlfriend anymore...or what it means for a guy to be a boyfriend...

Thanks for reading

[Tuffcore]

One was a goodnight message (not those generic forward kinds of course), the other was when i bumped into one of her friends outside.

Technically speaking, neither "requires" a reply. But well, i guess its a good way to gauge if she is interested.

So she's mentioned to you the days she's going to be free in the next couple of weeks? Have you already made arrangements to see her again? If not, the moment may have passed you by.

Anyways, if you're texting her goodnight messages without a response, then that's usually bad news. Don't get mad though and stay cool. Don't message her acting like some victim because that's going to make you look weird because chances are, she wasn't trying to hurt you. You're going to create an awkward situation.

If you're still calling her and texting her without response before you leave, then just text her before you leave saying something like, "Hi (her name), I'm off to (wherever that place is). Just want to say I'm glad we got to know each other better in the last month but only wish we had more time together. Anyways, keep in touch." If she still doesn't respond, then I'm sorry man. She's probably decided to move on to someone else or just ignore you entirely.

If she does respond, then at least she wants to be friends or want to keep you as an option.

Obviously, the best case scenario is that she responds within the next couple of days and you two can set something up to meet again. Maybe do that movie you wanted to see. You really need to advance quickly with her before you leave or else you won't leave much of an impression on her.

Do you know her style yet? Does she prefer the guy to be upfront with her about his feelings?

Next time you two meet, if you see any body language or verbal invitation from her to move forward in the relationship, do so immediately. ie. if she tells you she has free time off next week, take them all up immediately. Just come up with interesting stuff to do and book up all of her time. If she's watching the movie and leaning a bit on your shoulder, get those arms around her. If she's walking close to you with her hands close to yours, hold her hands. I'm kind of getting the feeling like you've been too passive with her.

Having said that, make sure your moves feel natural though. Don't force anything and don't do anything way out of character. Stay within your comfort zone.

Anyways, good luck. Hope she texts you back or calls you back and you two can meet again.

[papabear]

I guess my main question is - how do you treat your significant other, or how would you treat them if you had one? I'm very lost and have no idea what it means to be a girlfriend anymore...or what it means for a guy to be a boyfriend...

Thanks for reading

Sounds like one of the reasons why you two may be drifting apart (apart from the distance and lack of communication) is that you don't know how this will progress to anything more serious. Looks like once you two finish you may still be separate, and who knows for how long. (Another 2-4 years?) And so in the meantime you will not be increasing contact or becoming more familiar with one another. Sure you've been 'together' since HS, but when you two started dating, you were both young and probably not that mature. You two are still in your maturing years, and it may be possible that you may have been a 'match' in HS, but no longer. People change, their interests change, their life goals change.

I do think that maybe it is time for you to re-evaluate whether this is worth maintaining, especially if you and his post-college plans do not really make each other some sort of priority.

[watcher]

So...we've been in a relationship since highschool. We're approaching third year of college now.

...

I guess my main question is - how do you treat your significant other, or how would you treat them if you had one? I'm very lost and have no idea what it means to be a girlfriend anymore...or what it means for a guy to be a boyfriend...

Thanks for reading

with love. you treat them with love.

[YUNA!]

Thanks for all the support from my 20+'s..^^

lol. my brother never butted into my life or anything. we barely even talk but he knows once i start crying he asks "whose ass do i have to kick?" i don't think there's anything wrong with helping out your lil sis or bro ESPECIALLY if the guy is being threatening and cursing at her. i don't see it as butting in when the lil sis tells you about someone that is bothering them. what if that little thirteen year old turns out to be abusive? i'm not saying that you should always intervene in your sibling's issues but there are times where i feel it is ... i guess sort of your .. duty? for lack of a better word, to help or protect them from potential danger.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that .. it's not really smothering when you're trying to protect your lil sis from an aggressive boy. unless she has interest in him then that's up to her to handle it..

I have an older brother too (we're siblings of 3: my bro, me, my sis), and he NEVER cared if anything happened. If I broke up with a boyfriend, I'd only have the comfort of my pillow to cry on. I never felt that strong bond between my family (and never trusted my girls in high school) so I had to rely on other guys to give me that sense of security, which is what is turning on that 'overprotectiveness.' As the oldest sister, I want her to know that I've got her back so she doesnt make the same mistakes as I have when I was still in high school. Does that make sense? Is that still "smothering" her? ><..

Watcher & Papabear:

She is the type to avoid confrontation and authoritative personnel as much as posisble. I think it was already good enough for her to explain this situation to me.. lol..... >.> so far he has left her alone....... cuz she's too busy with extracurricular activities and such. But I'm worried when they go back to school in Sept.

Maybe I'm just a worry wart............... good ol' Yuna.. lol..sigh~=_=

[watcher]

Thanks for all the support from my 20+'s..^^



I have an older brother too (we're siblings of 3: my bro, me, my sis), and he NEVER cared if anything happened. If I broke up with a boyfriend, I'd only have the comfort of my pillow to cry on. I never felt that strong bond between my family (and never trusted my girls in high school) so I had to rely on other guys to give me that sense of security, which is what is turning on that 'overprotectiveness.' As the oldest sister, I want her to know that I've got her back so she doesnt make the same mistakes as I have when I was still in high school. Does that make sense? Is that still "smothering" her? ><..

Watcher & Papabear:

She is the type to avoid confrontation and authoritative personnel as much as posisble. I think it was already good enough for her to explain this situation to me.. lol..... >.> so far he has left her alone....... cuz she's too busy with extracurricular activities and such. But I'm worried when they go back to school in Sept.

Maybe I'm just a worry wart............... good ol' Yuna.. lol..sigh~=_=

well yuna, why don't we start with the basics. i'll get you a wiffle bat and u can practice swinging.

[Meenuh]

Thanks for all the support from my 20+'s..^^



I have an older brother too (we're siblings of 3: my bro, me, my sis), and he NEVER cared if anything happened. If I broke up with a boyfriend, I'd only have the comfort of my pillow to cry on. I never felt that strong bond between my family (and never trusted my girls in high school) so I had to rely on other guys to give me that sense of security, which is what is turning on that 'overprotectiveness.' As the oldest sister, I want her to know that I've got her back so she doesnt make the same mistakes as I have when I was still in high school. Does that make sense? Is that still "smothering" her? ><..

Watcher & Papabear:

She is the type to avoid confrontation and authoritative personnel as much as posisble. I think it was already good enough for her to explain this situation to me.. lol..... >.> so far he has left her alone....... cuz she's too busy with extracurricular activities and such. But I'm worried when they go back to school in Sept.

Maybe I'm just a worry wart............... good ol' Yuna.. lol..sigh~=_=

honestly my brother doesn't care as much as i made it sound. lol. he says that because he's annoyed that i'm crying but either way he'll kick some ass if he has to. i know exactly how you feel. i had tons of guy friends but never really talked to them. i wasn't close to any of the girls in my highschool nor have i ever had many girlfriends. which is one of the main reasons why i decided to pledge a sorority but didn't go through with it in the end. i have a twin sister but i'm not close to her either. if she sees me crying she gets annoyed. i absolutely hated my family all throughout highschool and it is only recently that my relationship with my family has gotten better. i'm the youngest in the family (technically since my sister is only 5 mins older lol). it's good that you care for your sister but being able to handle problems alone and going through suffering alone is always good too. it's even better that she has you in case she need someone to talk to. just don't smother her. if she wants to talk you can just ask her once if anything is wrong and let her know you're there.

the way i see it everything is a learning experience. if she always had to depend on someone to feel emotionally secure everytime someone pushes her down then where would she be in the future? you have to remember that although you had to go through so much crap in highschool i'm sure you're pleased with the way you turned out. you're probably a lot more independent which is always a good thing not having to rely on other people to reassure you of your well being. it's good to know you have someone once in awhile but an excessive amount of it will probably make her too dependent.

whoaaa i just wrote an essay.

[papabear]

Watcher & Papabear:

She is the type to avoid confrontation and authoritative personnel as much as posisble. I think it was already good enough for her to explain this situation to me.. lol..... >.> so far he has left her alone....... cuz she's too busy with extracurricular activities and such. But I'm worried when they go back to school in Sept.

Maybe I'm just a worry wart............... good ol' Yuna.. lol..sigh~=_=[/size]

I see. Is that a photo of you? Nice smile.

[W-K]

So just throwing this out there..

Anyone out there been in a relationship (any length of time) that wasn't just a fling and then find things are not going well?

So even though you're with this person ... you still go out and party and try to meet new potentials?

I've run into two girls lately who've been on 'bad terms' with their bfs and whatever and they're out there picking up.. I dunno, is it to get back at their bf or if they thing their relationship is in the death throes or whatever.

Anyone see a rational explanation for this? Is it just a rebound reaction? Revenge? The continual need to be with someone?

How would you react if you met someone who you thought you were pretty good with.. but found out they had a bf but "things were not steady".

[suki_*]

So just throwing this out there..

Anyone out there been in a relationship (any length of time) that wasn't just a fling and then find things are not going well?

So even though you're with this person ... you still go out and party and try to meet new potentials?

I've run into two girls lately who've been on 'bad terms' with their bfs and whatever and they're out there picking up.. I dunno, is it to get back at their bf or if they thing their relationship is in the death throes or whatever.

Anyone see a rational explanation for this? Is it just a rebound reaction? Revenge? The continual need to be with someone?

How would you react if you met someone who you thought you were pretty good with.. but found out they had a bf but "things were not steady".

knowing that they have a bf don't do anything to mislead them and don't do anything that would make you the dirty mistress either. and yes even if you didn't watch grey's men can also play the role of being a dirty mistress.

if they're not on good terms you make sure that their break up is clean before emotionally investing into the girl. They're just at a phase where they either think that their bfs are totally wrong for them or they just lost all compatibility with them but at the same time they don't want to detach just yet, could be because they don't want to be alone again, which ever, you pretty much have all the answers but with a question mark following them.

if you are interested in her, make sure she breaks up first that way you know she's sure of her decision of moving on and you know that she is single again good luck!

[JJM]

So just throwing this out there..

Anyone out there been in a relationship (any length of time) that wasn't just a fling and then find things are not going well?

So even though you're with this person ... you still go out and party and try to meet new potentials?

I've run into two girls lately who've been on 'bad terms' with their bfs and whatever and they're out there picking up.. I dunno, is it to get back at their bf or if they thing their relationship is in the death throes or whatever.

Anyone see a rational explanation for this? Is it just a rebound reaction? Revenge? The continual need to be with someone?

How would you react if you met someone who you thought you were pretty good with.. but found out they had a bf but "things were not steady".

Women are like monkeys. They will never let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another.

Personally, I think those "bad terms" girls are confused and confusing. It's like they're looking to be saved, but when the White Knight is in front of them, they're still standing at the evil dragon's gates. Just from my experience listening to other girls talk.

Maybe... just maybe... the poor guys dealing with these girls are just a "d!ck in a glass case": break in case of an emergency.

Don't hate me ladies.

[cute_n_classy]

So just throwing this out there..

Anyone out there been in a relationship (any length of time) that wasn't just a fling and then find things are not going well?

So even though you're with this person ... you still go out and party and try to meet new potentials?

I've run into two girls lately who've been on 'bad terms' with their bfs and whatever and they're out there picking up.. I dunno, is it to get back at their bf or if they thing their relationship is in the death throes or whatever.

Anyone see a rational explanation for this? Is it just a rebound reaction? Revenge? The continual need to be with someone?

How would you react if you met someone who you thought you were pretty good with.. but found out they had a bf but "things were not steady".

It really all depends on the situation and the type of girl they are.

Personally, I think if the girl is already having doubts about the bf/relationship and going out there to pick up, it means they want to break up but dont want to lose their comfort zone until they find another.

In my opinion those type of girls are not even worth a guys time cause seriously, if the relationship wasnt working out they could of have had the decency to have ended it by now, instead of being unfaithful by doing these things.

And if a guy were to get with a girl who did this, well there is a high chance that the girl would do it again and again.

[Tuffcore]

Women are like monkeys. They will never let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another.

Personally, I think those "bad terms" girls are confused and confusing. It's like they're looking to be saved, but when the White Knight is in front of them, they're still standing at the evil dragon's gates. Just from my experience listening to other girls talk.

Maybe... just maybe... the poor guys dealing with these girls are just a "d!ck in a glass case": break in case of an emergency.

Don't hate me ladies.

You are awesome. I think that's bang on.

[suki_*]

Women are like monkeys. They will never let go of one branch until they have a firm grip on another.

Personally, I think those "bad terms" girls are confused and confusing. It's like they're looking to be saved, but when the White Knight is in front of them, they're still standing at the evil dragon's gates. Just from my experience listening to other girls talk.

Maybe... just maybe... the poor guys dealing with these girls are just a "d!ck in a glass case": break in case of an emergency.

Don't hate me ladies.

no hate at all!

it's pretty bang on when it come to describing girls who lean more towards the clingy, insecure and flirty type. not noticeable traits when in a relationship but will shine through when the relationship gets rocky through their actions and reactions.

[RawrRawr]

When age do guys start looking to date for marriage ?

What age girl do they look at ?

I'm asking this because I'm only 20, I look younger, but I've been dating 26/27/31, as well as 24/25. I'm not sure if it's a pedo-complex or Peter Pan... or if I'm over-analyzing it too much = =;.

[papabear]

When age do guys start looking to date for marriage ?

What age girl do they look at ?

I'm asking this because I'm only 20, I look younger, but I've been dating 26/27/31, as well as 24/25. I'm not sure if it's a pedo-complex or Peter Pan... or if I'm over-analyzing it too much = =;.

Uh, most likely they want something physical or they have serious issues and can't handle women their own age (27-31). These days not many men under the age of 30 are looking to get married any time soon. So I say you should be careful, and ask why you are dating them (and why you are dating in general).

[RawrRawr]

Uh, most likely they want something physical or they have serious issues and can't handle women their own age (27-31). These days not many men under the age of 30 are looking to get married any time soon. So I say you should be careful, and ask why you are dating them (and why you are dating in general).

I date older men because they're more mature, they're generally more established than the guys my age, and they have more experience with the world. I prefer learning about things like wine-tasting, stock markets, business, economical relations, etc. I also prefer them to have a degree , preferably multiple ones.

&honestly, I date right now because I'm heart-broken over an ex still, so I'm just having fun, not looking for anything serious. Someone to keep my mind off the ex, you know


But I don't want to date older guys who may be looking for a partner.

I'll take your advice though, and be careful. A lot of them come through mutual friends who hook me up with guys from work, or childhood friends.
[ Most of my guy friends are 24/25 ish, anyway, so the guys I meet through them are the same age +/- 2 or 3 years. ]

[Sweetraindrops]

i'm talking to this girl the 2nd time...about work ..schoo.. and hobby... later that she stick her hand out and want to shake my hand...

is she interested or what..? should i ask her out or get number, email n such..? she the one who do all asking..