[donporkuloin]

I think I scared a nice guy off by talking too much about a guy from my past. I usually don't say much, but that day I was just having a hard time and he was willing to listen. Perhaps I'm not over the other guy or maybe I was just reminiscing about the past...but yeah, I went from talking to rambling then to ranting. He's probably wondering if I'm really over the ex. I think that was rather inconsiderate of me. He's been stressing and going through a tough time as well. What are some ways to fix this?

I think for the most part you're screwed. Just from my own experiences I know so many girls that end up directly or indirectly using guys as an emotional pillow to talk about that guy they can't get over. It's a big turn off. Me per say.. it pisses me off when girls do this. I've had this happen recently, and I was just doing it to be a listening ear. I didn't think by doing that she would put me in that stupid friends zone. I think for future times when and if you hangout with the guy? Don't talk about your ex or guy problems.

[YUNA!]

I keep throwing people together and having good results, but when it comes to my own personal issues, I'm a lost cause. Does anybody experience this as well?

Especially that one colleague I liked.. every time he stopped by my office to talk, it was always about this girl he liked and how I could help him. It's because I have feelings for him so I want him to be happy.. and... he just dropped by my office telling me they're official. I'm happy for him~ but I wonder when I can help myself.. sorry for such pointless juvenille ranting.

[Bellatrix]

^
"Sorry about last time. I was having a rough day and it reminded me of that jerk. That's why I decided to meet good guys... like you"
DON'T say nice instead of good.
Telling a guy that he's nice = "Let's be friends"

that's a very good point. thanks!

I usually fall for the nice good guy though, I mean why like a guy who treats me like crap?

Perhaps I screwed up pretty badly and I'm sure it is very annoying to hear about a girl's guy problems, especially when you're stressed as well. But still, I just want to make it up to him for keeping him up late at night with my ramblings and ranting. He did say that the ex was a bit immature and cared way too much... and reminded him of who he was in the past. I hope I didn't add on to the stress.

[Sweetraindrops]

-what do you do when you in your 20's and someone rush you to commit or plan to get marry/have kids...

^ I need some time to think. I need my space.

thats like me rejecting her dude...

i wanna say that but girls mad baby...

you gotta work you way around so they dont cry and shiet...

i talk like we buddy.. but that aint gonna last long..

[JJM]

I keep throwing people together and having good results, but when it comes to my own personal issues, I'm a lost cause. Does anybody experience this as well?

Especially that one colleague I liked.. every time he stopped by my office to talk, it was always about this girl he liked and how I could help him. It's because I have feelings for him so I want him to be happy.. and... he just dropped by my office telling me they're official. I'm happy for him~ but I wonder when I can help myself.. sorry for such pointless juvenille ranting.

I've experienced that many times until I started telling them how I felt. I wanted him to be happy, but I wanted myself to be happier. It's easier to bring two people together and then if they mesh, they mesh. Whereas for the matchmaker, sometimes it's like that saying: those who can't do, teach OR those who can't play, coach. I don't know. I don't want to sound pessimestic. Your time will indeed come. Don't search for it and don't question it because you might just talk yourself out of a really good thing when it's finally here.

[angelZ]

oh gosh....i saw my ex today after a period of NC & he told me he's already seeing someone new. i'm devastated...not because i wanted to get back together with him but because it's only been 2 weeks since we've broken up! he said the new girl is threatened by me and needs at least 6 months to get over her paranoia so during this time, he told me we won't see each other 1 on 1...

he said he told me this now is because he wants to be honest with me, but is he this inconsiderate and does he not care about how i feel? how can he possibly say something like this to me during this time?? & to tell me that he considers me a friend...wtf..

i'm just in shock. i was fine being his friend before he told me all this crap - now i don't even want to have anything to do with him.

is this normal?

[D_K]

is this normal?

He's a jerk.

[&rea]

oh gosh....i saw my ex today after a period of NC & he told me he's already seeing someone new. i'm devastated...not because i wanted to get back together with him but because it's only been 2 weeks since we've broken up! he said the new girl is threatened by me and needs at least 6 months to get over her paranoia so during this time, he told me we won't see each other 1 on 1...

he said he told me this now is because he wants to be honest with me, but is he this inconsiderate and does he not care about how i feel? how can he possibly say something like this to me during this time?? & to tell me that he considers me a friend...wtf..

i'm just in shock. i was fine being his friend before he told me all this crap - now i don't even want to have anything to do with him.

is this normal?

I agree with D_K.
Either he's really looking for a rebound or he was already interested in her before you guys broke up.
If you don't want anything to do with him, then don't. You don't owe him anything after the way he's treated you post break-up.

[HERMIT]

oh gosh....i saw my ex today after a period of NC & he told me he's already seeing someone new. i'm devastated...not because i wanted to get back together with him but because it's only been 2 weeks since we've broken up! he said the new girl is threatened by me and needs at least 6 months to get over her paranoia so during this time, he told me we won't see each other 1 on 1...

he said he told me this now is because he wants to be honest with me, but is he this inconsiderate and does he not care about how i feel? how can he possibly say something like this to me during this time?? & to tell me that he considers me a friend...wtf..

i'm just in shock. i was fine being his friend before he told me all this crap - now i don't even want to have anything to do with him.

is this normal?

Just to play devil's advocate, would it have been better then if he just never told you about the new girl? And furthermore, slowly and surreptitiously cutting you out and not seeing you socially over the course of 6 months? Would you feel better if that happened instead? I suppose given that you two were broken up already, your ex could easily have justified going this route thinking that this would spare your feelings: 'what you don't know won't hurt you'.
I understand what you mean about him already being on the rebound after just 2 weeks of a breakup. It sucks. But then again, once you're broken up, what the other does to move on with their love life is their prerogative. I dunno.
I guess if not for the new girl's paranoia, your ex could have easily delayed telling the 'news' of him finding someone new to a time that was more appropriate other than the 2 weeks. But given this extenuating circumstance, he must have felt that telling you now and upfront was the more honorable thing to do rather than him seemingly ducking and avoiding you socially without so much as an explanation. I guess no matter what he does, it's going to be construed as being screwed up nonetheless.

[Echoe]

He broke up with me, but he held me in his arms and cried when I took his face in my hands and asked him if that was what he really wanted.

Why?

Pity props?

[angelZ]

He's a jerk.

i dunno why but that made me laugh (1st time today!!). i think it was the emoticon lol.

I agree with D_K.
Either he's really looking for a rebound or he was already interested in her before you guys broke up.
If you don't want anything to do with him, then don't. You don't owe him anything after the way he's treated you post break-up.

i think he was already interested in her b4 we broke up...
after all that's been said and done, i feel like i can't possibly be friends with him atm (maybe further down the road we can, but definitely not now). he has hurt me too much.

Just to play devil's advocate, would it have been better then if he just never told you about the new girl? And furthermore, slowly and surreptitiously cutting you out and not seeing you socially over the course of 6 months? Would you feel better if that happened instead? I suppose given that you two were broken up already, your ex could easily have justified going this route thinking that this would spare your feelings: 'what you don't know won't hurt you'.
I understand what you mean about him already being on the rebound after just 2 weeks of a breakup. It sucks. But then again, once you're broken up, what the other does to move on with their love life is their prerogative. I dunno.
I guess if not for the new girl's paranoia, your ex could have easily delayed telling the 'news' of him finding someone new to a time that was more appropriate other than the 2 weeks. But given this extenuating circumstance, he must have felt that telling you now and upfront was the more honorable thing to do rather than him seemingly ducking and avoiding you socially without so much as an explanation. I guess no matter what he does, it's going to be construed as being screwed up nonetheless.

i was in the exact same situation as his new girl right now. i was paranoid about his ex but no matter what i said (how bothered and upset i was), they were still talking and seeing each other on a daily basis so i was never completely over it. he said he's not the type of person to give up a friendship for a gf because "gfs come and go" and his ex is 1 of his best friends, & right now i think he sees me in the position of his previous ex.

i knew there was someone else involved because b4 we broke up, he was always talking about her & surprise surprise, he's seeing her now. i think if he were to tell me this at a later date, i would have been able to handle this better but right now it's still a sensitive period. i was doing fine before - i didn't see him and i didn't really talk to him much so i'm sure i could have handled 6 months. but now i'm back to square 1...which really sucks.

[HERMIT]

i think he was already interested in her b4 we broke up...
after all that's been said and done, i feel like i can't possibly be friends with him atm (maybe further down the road we can, but definitely not now). he has hurt me too much....

....i knew there was someone else involved because b4 we broke up, he was always talking about her & surprise surprise, he's seeing her now....

I see. I didn't know this part of the situation and the past history given what I read in the most recent post. Your feelings about it are more understandable. Oh well, you guys are broken up and that's all said and done. Just keep your head up, forget about him, and move on. I suppose the fact that you guys won't have as much contact from here on out will help facilitate this process. Go out and find yourself another guy!

[.moony.]

oh gosh....i saw my ex today after a period of NC & he told me he's already seeing someone new. i'm devastated...not because i wanted to get back together with him but because it's only been 2 weeks since we've broken up! he said the new girl is threatened by me and needs at least 6 months to get over her paranoia so during this time, he told me we won't see each other 1 on 1...

he said he told me this now is because he wants to be honest with me, but is he this inconsiderate and does he not care about how i feel? how can he possibly say something like this to me during this time?? & to tell me that he considers me a friend...wtf..

i'm just in shock. i was fine being his friend before he told me all this crap - now i don't even want to have anything to do with him.

is this normal?

Tell him that he's a jerk and what you just told us. Sometimes we girls are too nice and just keep it bottled up inside. Just go tell him hes a jerk and you dont want to be his friend anymore because you don't appreciate "jerk" friends. You will feel a lot better after that.

[addicted2kdrama]

Out of curiosity what would you females do when the roles are reversed? You currently are in a relationship and you find a guy that melts you away. A person that seems better than the guy your with. Would you stay loyal all the way and avoid him. Dump the guy and take a chance on the new guy. Or just cheat, to see which ones better.

[papabear]

He broke up with me, but he held me in his arms and cried when I took his face in my hands and asked him if that was what he really wanted.

Why?

Pity props?

What does your knowledge of his character tell you?

Perhaps his feelings of pain and sadness were sincere at that moment.

[Sweetraindrops]

this giirl tryda holla at mee..

she want me call her... butt i dont got cell no more.. that thing die..

if i use home phone phone... ppl aroun the house gonna know and call her.. lol..

what i doo now..

[duykato]

Use your home phone, call up a military base, tell them you wish to make a moral call and to connect you to the girl's #. simple... now if your family gets nosy and try to call all they get is a military help operator.

[Sweetraindrops]

Use your home phone, call up a military base, tell them you wish to make a moral call and to connect you to the girl's #. simple... now if your family gets nosy and try to call all they get is a military help operator.

DAM.. haha

that Xtrem rightt there.. haha..

that cool. i just no call her.. i wait when i get my new cell..

[&rea]

Out of curiosity what would you females do when the roles are reversed? You currently are in a relationship and you find a guy that melts you away. A person that seems better than the guy your with. Would you stay loyal all the way and avoid him. Dump the guy and take a chance on the new guy. Or just cheat, to see which ones better.

Yeah this is cliche, but never leave the one you love for the one you like. I can't know until I'm actually in the situation, but I can say right now that I wouldn't do that.

[addicted2kdrama]

^ do you believe love will last forever? Sorry for the cliches. I've just heard many 30's-50's group say it doesn't. But you just stick with it to the end.