[709394]

ugh, I ranted about this before in another thread but heres a heads up for all you guys out there...
cuz if your like my friend, you wont get any ANYTIME SOON. Jeeses. I have a guy friend who I swear interprets every little detail into thinking 'the girl is interested in me.'
Even simple things like a girl sitting closer to him on the bench gives him the vibe "oh maybe shes into me!"
Oh god man >< Although he keeps on adamently proclaiming that he is done with ladies and is enjoying his 'single life,' the very fact that he tells me this EVERYDAY already screams out ...this guy is desperate.
Anyways end of rant.

On another note...
there was a guy that I fell head over heels for many moons ago. Due to distance it won't work. I was really hurt by his actions half a year ago and subsequently cut off all communication with him (ie: blocking him on msn; deleting his facebook). He has since then tried repeatedly tried to add me back on facebook...but he never says anything, he just keeps trying to add. I've been rejecting his request for almost half a year now but finally...I gave in because ultimately, I still like and miss him. Yes, I'm weak. Damn facebook. I find out that he has since then found a girlfriend through pictures (but oddly his profile says he is single now?). I know I'm gonna sound really pathetic and stupid to say this...but guys, if youve found (and i guess broken up?) with a new gf, would you still miss someone that you liked...but could never be together with? Or does having a new gf/bf really make you forget the past and move on? If only I could find that someone to help ME move on....

or another question...
have anyone ever fallen for someone that you know you can't be with due to distance? it sucks majorly.
When it comes to emotions and relationships...I really can't act rationally.

[watcher]

^ i wouldnt get into another relationship until i've moved on from the previous. but i guess not all guys are like that...

[[HyuNi]]

i think maybe you should stop hitting on phone store employees, at least while they're on the job. if you ask them about phones or job applications, it's their duty to respond to you in a friendly manner, and i think you're misinterpreting that as personal interest. moreover, i think some people find it a bit annoying when others take up your time to talk about something that appears to be job-related, and then you find out it's actually a pretext for something in which you have absolutely no interest. so maybe you could ask these ladies out when they're not at work because they'll have less pressure to respond in a certain manner and will also experience less confusion about your intentions.

you appear to have a different view of things, and i could be wrong about this, but i can tell you what i initially did when in these situations i used to work at a bookstore and was pretend that i couldn't remember my number or pretend to be too busy to talk or go out... which sounds to me like what these girls are doing.

It's the fact that they are OBLIGATED to be friendly to customers.
Different girl, same situation, same damn outcome.

I think of a lot of things in this world as finite.
You can either put a lot of time and energy in meeting LOTS of women, or you can put the same effort into one.
He has the classic case of being too broad without any depth.

I have to admit though... he is one really positive thinking, optimistic guy!

[Prot]

You could just leave their friend requests there and never accept them to prevent them from attempting to re add you. Anyway back to your question, I think distance can be overcome so long as you and your partner know each other well prior and have the mindset of maintaining it. The time of the consistent distance can't be ridiculous either (I'd assume somewhere around four years?). My Uncle and Aunt were separated when one of them immigrated to the U.S. but several years later, she was able to apply for his visa and they got married.

[709394]

^ yeah...i tried...but like i said before, wen it comes to emotions in relationships..i cant control myself, nor can i act rationally, so i know that sooner or later...i would be tempted to add him. So i would decide right then and there to reject te request so i have no temptation. I even tried blocking him but realized tat it just made my heart ache even more. Yeah...uh...yeah....sigh, this is so retarded. even i know im retarded ><

[gleinz]

Ok, this is my first real post here, but I've been reading alot on here and there is some great advice going around, so I hope someone here can help me...

I'm a 25-yr old guy, and not to get into the details, but I have had a lot of relationship troubles in the past to the point where now I don't feel like I really trust anyone. But still, I am wanting to find someone that I can be with, even if it isn't the "one"... just tired of being lonely at this point.

There is a girl I recently met through a mutual friend, and to be honest, she has every quality that I look for in a girl! She's outgoing, funny, LOVES to eat yet still thin and good looking, has a nice voice (can sing), and in general just fun to be around.

However, I am not the one she is wanting... it is actually one of my very good friends. Just until recently, it has been a year since they talked, but she has been "waiting" for him for that long period of time. And even now, she says she will still wait for him until the time is right to start their relationship.

There are two things frustrating me with this situation right now. 1) I am frustrated how someone, after a full year, can still have feelings for another person. I guess I am frustrated because I have never had anyone feel that way about me before... that makes me start to think about the type of person I am, and maybe I just am not important to people? 2) I'm frustrated that she would wait so long for THIS guy... I mean he is one of my closest friends, but in comparison, I think I have a lot more to offer! On the downside girls probably find him more attractive, but by no means am I a quasimodo!

I guess this was more of a rant than a looking for advice post... at this time I won't do anything with this girl because I know it will get me nowhere. Just best to remain friends for now, and keep searching I guess. Still, I feel like I will just be looking forever...

[Meenuh]

There are two things frustrating me with this situation right now. 1) I am frustrated how someone, after a full year, can still have feelings for another person. I guess I am frustrated because I have never had anyone feel that way about me before... that makes me start to think about the type of person I am, and maybe I just am not important to people? 2) I'm frustrated that she would wait so long for THIS guy... I mean he is one of my closest friends, but in comparison, I think I have a lot more to offer! On the downside girls probably find him more attractive, but by no means am I a quasimodo!

stop belittling yourself. you can be the greatest guy in the world but that doesn't mean that every girl is gonna like you. if you know you're a great guy and have a lot to offer, you'll find someone. stop trying to put your life on fast forward.

[709394]

There are two things frustrating me with this situation right now. 1) I am frustrated how someone, after a full year, can still have feelings for another person. I guess I am frustrated because I have never had anyone feel that way about me before... that makes me start to think about the type of person I am, and maybe I just am not important to people? 2) I'm frustrated that she would wait so long for THIS guy... I mean he is one of my closest friends, but in comparison, I think I have a lot more to offer! On the downside girls probably find him more attractive, but by no means am I a quasimodo!

sorry...hahahaahahahahaha, not to mean to laugh at you but i feel like the girl on the other side (except i gave up on the waiting part), but the thing about still liking someone after a year and what not...
well, first of all, did they ever have a relationship together? do u know if he still likes her? why did they not talk for a year?
and why do u think girls will find him a lot more attractive?

[coreancc]

sorry...hahahaahahahahaha, not to mean to laugh at you but i feel like the girl on the other side (except i gave up on the waiting part), but the thing about still liking someone after a year and what not...
well, first of all, did they ever have a relationship together? do u know if he still likes her? why did they not talk for a year?
and why do u think girls will find him a lot more attractive?

Yeah, and I'm curious too - does your friend know she is waiting for him?

[PaNgIeE]

gleinz: I understand your frustrations. It sucks when you like someone and that person likes someone else. On top it all, you know you're more than capable of being the best guy for her, which makes you feel even worst knowing she'll still pick the other guy. Yup! I know the feeling. I'm sorry, but the only thing I can say to this is -- get over it! I know it sounds harsh, but the more you keep wondering the "what ifs, should ofs, could ofs, etc" then you'll just put yourself in that position to feel even worst than you already do.

She's waiting for someone and that's not you. Let her wait. Maybe you should just be around and who knows she'll probably realize that since you're there you might just be the one for her all along. Don't force her to make a decision to pick b/c she's already made that decision. Let her wait if that's what she wants. If you want to wait for her then so be it, but honestly I think you got other "fishes" out there to fish for.

Trust is a big thing in a relationship and when you lose that it makes it hard to be w/anyone. I know its tough, but don't give up. Sometimes going thru the hard ones makes you want to not believe that its worth fighting for, but I think being lonely is even harder. It won't kill you to keep looking even if its forever, will it? I'm sure a girl is bound to come along and be the perfect one for you. Just because one came and you think you'll be perfect for her, it could be that she doesn't find you that way. There has to be a mutual attraction.

You're still young. There's still a lot that you have to go thru. I'm sure this is not it. As for the girl, let it be just friends for now. Don't let what happened in the past affect what you want for your future. Learn from it. I know you're a great guy. You'll find the right girl who's gonna be more than you can ever imagine. Good luck!

By the way, you can rant here about any relationships you want. I'm sure we don't mind....at least I don't. I'm sure we have all been there....***HUGS***

coreancc: I don't think he knows and if he does maybe he doesn't feel the same way so that's why he's not having anything happen.

[watcher]

I guess this was more of a rant than a looking for advice post... at this time I won't do anything with this girl because I know it will get me nowhere. Just best to remain friends for now, and keep searching I guess. Still, I feel like I will just be looking forever...

make ur move, or you'll never learn. what are you gonna do when the next girl comes along? silently think ur better than all the other guys hitting on her? only reason i would stop is if my friend wanted her too. otherwise, i'd go for the kill. get outta ur comfort zone and try something new. you say you got lots to offer, so why not? i think it's time to test that theory against fire and see what remains. go go go!

[PaNgIeE]

make ur move, or you'll never learn. what are you gonna do when the next girl comes along? silently think ur better than all the other guys hitting on her? only reason i would stop is if my friend wanted her too. otherwise, i'd go for the kill. get outta ur comfort zone and try something new. you say you got lots to offer, so why not? i think it's time to test that theory against fire and see what remains. go go go!

be bold like watcher that's how you get the girl!

[Meenuh]

be bold like watcher that's how you get the girl!

i lol'd.

jk.

[709394]

make ur move, or you'll never learn. what are you gonna do when the next girl comes along? silently think ur better than all the other guys hitting on her? only reason i would stop is if my friend wanted her too. otherwise, i'd go for the kill. get outta ur comfort zone and try something new. you say you got lots to offer, so why not? i think it's time to test that theory against fire and see what remains. go go go!

...i'd be careful about this one.
Because i've had guys do that to me and things just got damn awkward...really damn awkward every.single.time. I've had...many guy friends try to step over the line...and I just completely avoided them afterwards....especially if you guys are friends beforehand...
there are also other factors too i guess, like how player'ish she is, how much she likes attn, etc etc. nPerhaps I'm a extreme case though...

[watcher]

...i'd be careful about this one.
Because i've had guys do that to me and things just got damn awkward...really damn awkward every.single.time. I've had...many guy friends try to step over the line...and I just completely avoided them afterwards....especially if you guys are friends beforehand...
there are also other factors too i guess, like how player'ish she is, how much she likes attn, etc etc. nPerhaps I'm a extreme case though...

do what? show interest and go out with you? the two just 'recently' met. i'm not sure how this is different from meeting a random person recently and askin them out to see if there can be something more?

[Tuffcore]

Ok, this is my first real post here, but I've been reading alot on here and there is some great advice going around, so I hope someone here can help me...

I'm a 25-yr old guy, and not to get into the details, but I have had a lot of relationship troubles in the past to the point where now I don't feel like I really trust anyone. But still, I am wanting to find someone that I can be with, even if it isn't the "one"... just tired of being lonely at this point.

There is a girl I recently met through a mutual friend, and to be honest, she has every quality that I look for in a girl! She's outgoing, funny, LOVES to eat yet still thin and good looking, has a nice voice (can sing), and in general just fun to be around.

However, I am not the one she is wanting... it is actually one of my very good friends. Just until recently, it has been a year since they talked, but she has been "waiting" for him for that long period of time. And even now, she says she will still wait for him until the time is right to start their relationship.

There are two things frustrating me with this situation right now. 1) I am frustrated how someone, after a full year, can still have feelings for another person. I guess I am frustrated because I have never had anyone feel that way about me before... that makes me start to think about the type of person I am, and maybe I just am not important to people? 2) I'm frustrated that she would wait so long for THIS guy... I mean he is one of my closest friends, but in comparison, I think I have a lot more to offer! On the downside girls probably find him more attractive, but by no means am I a quasimodo!

I guess this was more of a rant than a looking for advice post... at this time I won't do anything with this girl because I know it will get me nowhere. Just best to remain friends for now, and keep searching I guess. Still, I feel like I will just be looking forever...

How long have you known this girl? If you've known each other for years but she's shown nothing but commitment to your close friend, then that doesn't look good. Sorry to be blunt. Perhaps the best approach is to stay friends and don't make things awkward. Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean you have to be together with them and get something back. You can still love her as a normal friend and make her happy that way.

[tinasarangg]

'ello all,
sorry to be so bothersome...

I've mentioned before how I was talking to a 27 year old a few weeks ago. Things have been decently but this morning he sent me a text saying;

"Hun, you're going to have to give me extra time. I'm going through some hard times with family. Pretty please."

Initially I didn't know how to respond to this. I've never asked him if we could make it official--considering it would be easier to keep our relationship as it at the current moment. I told him him alright, I'll be here for him if he needs somebody to talk to. We still act the same around each other...but I still am failing to understand the context of his text.

My interpretation:
(a) He doesn't like me enough and he's trying to convince himself he does
( He's using an excuse to brush me off.

I don't know...
a little help please ?

[watcher]

'ello all,
sorry to be so bothersome...

I've mentioned before how I was talking to a 27 year old a few weeks ago. Things have been decently but this morning he sent me a text saying;

"Hun, you're going to have to give me extra time. I'm going through some hard times with family. Pretty please."

Initially I didn't know how to respond to this. I've never asked him if we could make it official--considering it would be easier to keep our relationship as it at the current moment. I told him him alright, I'll be here for him if he needs somebody to talk to. We still act the same around each other...but I still am failing to understand the context of his text.

My interpretation:
(a) He doesn't like me enough and he's trying to convince himself he does
( He's using an excuse to brush me off.

I don't know...
a little help please ?

what if he really means that he's got issues that he has to address right now, and he's asking you to hold that thought on your relationship until his issues are resolved?

How long have you known this girl? If you've known each other for years but she's shown nothing but commitment to your close friend, then that doesn't look good. Sorry to be blunt. Perhaps the best approach is to stay friends and don't make things awkward. Just because you love someone, it doesn't mean you have to be together with them and get something back. You can still love her as a normal friend and make her happy that way.

ionno... for me, i think if you like someone that much, it's all or nothing. maybe that's selfish, but the end result is that she'll find someone, you'll feel hurt again, and then you'll most likely phase out of her life, or you'll phase out of hers when you find yourself a new love.

[709394]

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nvm

[quepapas]

'ello all,
sorry to be so bothersome...

I've mentioned before how I was talking to a 27 year old a few weeks ago. Things have been decently but this morning he sent me a text saying;

"Hun, you're going to have to give me extra time. I'm going through some hard times with family. Pretty please."

Initially I didn't know how to respond to this. I've never asked him if we could make it official--considering it would be easier to keep our relationship as it at the current moment. I told him him alright, I'll be here for him if he needs somebody to talk to. We still act the same around each other...but I still am failing to understand the context of his text.

My interpretation:
(a) He doesn't like me enough and he's trying to convince himself he does
( He's using an excuse to brush me off.

I don't know...
a little help please ?

Maybe you think too much. I think you should give him some time to deal with his family's issues, like 1-1.5 weeks, and then you can talk about your relationship to him. But don't ignore him, just be there to support when he needs you. If he really wants to be with you, when he's done with his problem, he will come back to you again