[Tuffcore]

I am not sure how to start this. I am a 34 year old Korean Brazilian woman, and never have been married. I suppose I don't see myself getting married since I have been single up to this stage. I have dated a lot during my 20s. Most of the dates I have had were blind dates. My parents have set me up a lot. The majority of the men I met did not like me (like 95%.) It really affected my self-esteem because when you go out to these dates, you expect that you will be loved just as I have been loved by my own family members. My family members told me I had a beautiful body, face and personality. But these men have hardly ever shown any interest on me. I could tell by the way that some men would not ask me questions (and when I inquired why, they would say they knew nothing about me because I didn't open myself up,) another man would just sit and stare at the beautiful waitresses without talking to me, still another man said I wasn't their type (by the way, to date, I don't know what he meant by "type." I think that if you are beautiful and nice, shouldn't that be enough? What is this type thing?... Others would tell me I was too young as an excuse, and wind up marrying women much younger. And this guy, I remember of, would say that I seemed to already have a boyfriend because I was in a rush to leave. I met overall about 30 people so far that I have been introduced to (from girlfriends, parents, sister, family members, work colleagues and even the man who worked at a coffee shop at work.) The most intimate I have been involved from them were like six dates at the very most. I would love to have dated someone at work (and the only one that I remember being interested in me was a married person,) and due to some devastating life circusmtances (I developed a chronic illness during my late 20s and early 30s,) I was unable to work for years. This other divorced man also liked me from work, but I had no intentions or was/am attracted to him. I don't go out that often to meet people, but had tried in the past for a handful of times. The men I was interested in were all into other girls at church and other outing events. I don't know why they liked other girls as opposed to me (Was I not the charming beautiful nice person that my parents and family members said I was?...) For years, I posted my profile on eharmony.com and the only thing I received were rejections from the majority of men. The ones I spoke to (like about four out of 400 possible men, did not like me after they talked to me.) I wonder: 1) why are not men into me? I don't think I look monstrous, 2) why is it that when I talk when I meet with them, they all walk away? I, like, try to keep a conversation with them and am nice to them over the phone. When I meet them in person, I am a bit reserved and look to see if guys like me. If they do seem to like me, I kind of open up. Are there things I should or shouldn't say when I'm dating? I don't think I ever mention politics. I try to keep it intellectual, open-ended and polite... I like read tons of literature about what draws men off and I don't think that I say anything wrong to them...

Amazon.com

I recommend.

[idiotsucks]

I am not sure how to start this. I am a 34 year old Korean Brazilian woman, and never have been married. I suppose I don't see myself getting married since I have been single up to this stage. I have dated a lot during my 20s. Most of the dates I have had were blind dates. My parents have set me up a lot. The majority of the men I met did not like me (like 95%.) It really affected my self-esteem because when you go out to these dates, you expect that you will be loved just as I have been loved by my own family members. My family members told me I had a beautiful body, face and personality. But these men have hardly ever shown any interest on me. I could tell by the way that some men would not ask me questions (and when I inquired why, they would say they knew nothing about me because I didn't open myself up,) another man would just sit and stare at the beautiful waitresses without talking to me, still another man said I wasn't their type (by the way, to date, I don't know what he meant by "type." I think that if you are beautiful and nice, shouldn't that be enough? What is this type thing?... Others would tell me I was too young as an excuse, and wind up marrying women much younger. And this guy, I remember of, would say that I seemed to already have a boyfriend because I was in a rush to leave. I met overall about 30 people so far that I have been introduced to (from girlfriends, parents, sister, family members, work colleagues and even the man who worked at a coffee shop at work.) The most intimate I have been involved from them were like six dates at the very most. I would love to have dated someone at work (and the only one that I remember being interested in me was a married person,) and due to some devastating life circusmtances (I developed a chronic illness during my late 20s and early 30s,) I was unable to work for years. This other divorced man also liked me from work, but I had no intentions or was/am attracted to him. I don't go out that often to meet people, but had tried in the past for a handful of times. The men I was interested in were all into other girls at church and other outing events. I don't know why they liked other girls as opposed to me (Was I not the charming beautiful nice person that my parents and family members said I was?...) For years, I posted my profile on eharmony.com and the only thing I received were rejections from the majority of men. The ones I spoke to (like about four out of 400 possible men, did not like me after they talked to me.) I wonder: 1) why are not men into me? I don't think I look monstrous, 2) why is it that when I talk when I meet with them, they all walk away? I, like, try to keep a conversation with them and am nice to them over the phone. When I meet them in person, I am a bit reserved and look to see if guys like me. If they do seem to like me, I kind of open up. Are there things I should or shouldn't say when I'm dating? I don't think I ever mention politics. I try to keep it intellectual, open-ended and polite... I like read tons of literature about what draws men off and I don't think that I say anything wrong to them...

Maybe, ummm, I may seem to be like a no-one to comment on this due to my overly-young age.. (I'm only 17 anyway..T_T sounds like a small girl.. uh~)

Mmmmm, sometimes I felt the same thing too.. Like, what I actually did/said wrong to guys.. I don't really know how to react or talk with them cuz I feel weird.. -________- I.. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm being myself and sometimes I feel like I'm not.

Anyway, I've read whatever you written above.. Maybe, you should just try to join more social activities... Such as, church, help out in the orphanage and etc.. Maybe you can meet better people there. I believe, those people who went for the make-up-dates are those desperados too.. They are purely.. Emmm idiots who have over-high expectations on their partners? Try to think it that way.. They are there too cuz they can't find a partner. They should reflect themselves in the mirror before commenting on you.

Somehow, some people told me before that, the more you want something to happen, the more it will not happen. = / Maybe, yeah, this has something to do with it too? Why not try to relax and let God decide it for you? Just be yourself hun.. Don't push yourself like.. Pretend to be extra gentle or whatsoever.. Just be natural.. Neutral.. Although most guys are like jerks now but yeah, I still believe that, theres some who are still good. You just not yet meet the right one. Slowly.. Don't go for dates blindly too. You should have some faith in yourself. Don't let the guys do the decisions at most of the times. If they show that kind of face like as though they are not interested in you, SHOW THEM BACK that you don't give a suck ass on them too =) Don't show them that you're cheap-skate. Show them that it is their disgrace for losing you. = ) Walk out of the cafe with a proud smile on you. Don't disgrace yourself for some idiot guys. They don't worth it.

Most guys nowadays have high self-esteem. Overly high. They thought they are so good.. Ah~ *VOMITS* You must look high up on yourself too and yeah, just socialize more.. Be friendly to everybody. If you are good, people will see it. Don't have to fake, don't have to do anything.. If fakeness can exchange marriadge, then I don't think that marriadge will lasts long too.

My final conclusion is : BE YOURSELF, DON'T TAKE THINGS TOO HARD, MR RIGHT WILL APPEAR SOON IF YOU BELIEVE HE WILL AND LET GOD DEALS FOR YOU =)

Amen. All the best sis. *hugs*

I'm not good in all these but I hope you did feel somehow better? Be your true self. If the guy knows how to value you, the guy is a smart guy. No point falling for a jerk ass guy. Right?

[duykato]

Maybe, ummm, I may seem to be like a no-one to comment on this due to my overly-young age.. (I'm only 17 anyway..T_T sounds like a small girl.. uh~)

You fail. Don't post here until your 20.
She's twice your age.

[Aziraphale]

Maybe, ummm, I may seem to be like a no-one to comment on this due to my overly-young age.. (I'm only 17 anyway..T_T sounds like a small girl.. uh~)

Mmmmm, sometimes I felt the same thing too.. Like, what I actually did/said wrong to guys.. I don't really know how to react or talk with them cuz I feel weird.. -________- I.. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm being myself and sometimes I feel like I'm not.

Anyway, I've read whatever you written above.. Maybe, you should just try to join more social activities... Such as, church, help out in the orphanage and etc.. Maybe you can meet better people there. I believe, those people who went for the make-up-dates are those desperados too.. They are purely.. Emmm idiots who have over-high expectations on their partners? Try to think it that way.. They are there too cuz they can't find a partner. They should reflect themselves in the mirror before commenting on you.

Somehow, some people told me before that, the more you want something to happen, the more it will not happen. = / Maybe, yeah, this has something to do with it too? Why not try to relax and let God decide it for you? Just be yourself hun.. Don't push yourself like.. Pretend to be extra gentle or whatsoever.. Just be natural.. Neutral.. Although most guys are like jerks now but yeah, I still believe that, theres some who are still good. You just not yet meet the right one. Slowly.. Don't go for dates blindly too. You should have some faith in yourself. Don't let the guys do the decisions at most of the times. If they show that kind of face like as though they are not interested in you, SHOW THEM BACK that you don't give a suck ass on them too =) Don't show them that you're cheap-skate. Show them that it is their disgrace for losing you. = ) Walk out of the cafe with a proud smile on you. Don't disgrace yourself for some idiot guys. They don't worth it.

Most guys nowadays have high self-esteem. Overly high. They thought they are so good.. Ah~ *VOMITS* You must look high up on yourself too and yeah, just socialize more.. Be friendly to everybody. If you are good, people will see it. Don't have to fake, don't have to do anything.. If fakeness can exchange marriadge, then I don't think that marriadge will lasts long too.

My final conclusion is : BE YOURSELF, DON'T TAKE THINGS TOO HARD, MR RIGHT WILL APPEAR SOON IF YOU BELIEVE HE WILL AND LET GOD DEALS FOR YOU =)

Amen. All the best sis. *hugs*

I'm not good in all these but I hope you did feel somehow better? Be your true self. If the guy knows how to value you, the guy is a smart guy. No point falling for a jerk ass guy. Right?

INTRUDER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't post here until you turn 20! Read the rules!

[xLionHeartx]

For some reason, I remembered you posting this from yesterday, along with your "ajuhmah" alias so I decided to respond. I actually know someone who is a lot older and a very great guy so if you are interested lol..

In any case, what struck me was that you seem to be playing the field by other people's rules. Instead of being miserable with your situation and sulking in your misery, I think you can help your situation by being yourself. Like I said, you are playing the field by other people's rules. What I mean by that is you are trying to fit the needs of others instead of being yourself. There is nothing wrong with being opinionated, even to the point of stubborn rudeness.

Likewise, you may have to break a couple of those emotional wall barriers that you may have put up to prevent you from being hurt. You have to be willing to accept that opening up to someone, will leave you vulnerable. You may have to come out of that shelter to get a breath of fresh air.

Here is an important thing to remember though, because you are wanting to find someone to settle down with, means you may be open to being played for a one night stand or just a fling. It is up to you to evaluate what the best course of action is.

My main point, just be yourself and your personality will shine more as well. Instead of over analyzing your situation, try living in the moment. Open yourself, even if it gets hurt but don't let anyone stomp all over your heart. It is never too late, one split moment of love is worth a life time's wait.

Next time, try to keep your post easier on the eyes. You wrote a wall of text and it is hard to read. =)

[chilovesjj]

^agree with this response

I'd add that to be honest books aren't all that useful- everyone experiences love differently and you shouldn't try to follow any rules laid down by books for what to do, what not to do, what to say, what not to say.

If a guy is the right guy for you, he will like you the way you are. By forcing yourself to only talk on certain topics rather than just being yourself, you will probably come across as awkward and uncomfortable in that situation, and the guy will probably get the impression that you just don't really want to be there. This could be why you're having difficulties talking to guys, and them seeming put off. It doesn't mean you're talking about bad topics, you're probably just thinking too much about it to really just relax and be yourself and enjoy these dates.

Whereas if you just talk about whatever you feel comfortable to talk about, you'll come across as bubbly and confident =)

Don't put too much pressure on yourself to find someone, just spend some time going out on a few dates, just focus on relaxing and having fun in their company, and see what develops from there.

You need to find someone you share a really good connection with, who you can be really good friends with, as well as just someone who is physically attractive to you. Blind dates aren't so good for this- it's better if you can pick out people for yourself, who you think you'll get along well with. As LionHeart recommended, going out to different places and mixing with a different crowd of people, might help you to find someone special

I know it's hard to open yourself up and let yourself be vulnerable, and it is a scary feeling. But the feelings that you are able to experience once you have opened yourself up, are more than worth taking that risk. And I hope you never get hurt, but if you do, please don't give up- pick yourself up and continue searching Best of luck xx

[NewsStrive717]

I was at my boyfriend's house hanging out with him last night, and while I was sitting at the desk playing with his computer, I can't help but saw a Japanese porn disk laying on top of his computer. I asked him even though I knew for sure it was - if it was porn, and he said yes. I was being sarcastic when I said 'impressive, you have a whole stack', and he said 'no, it's just the top one that's porn'. even though I acted like I didn't care, I was shocked and hurt. What makes me more angry is that he acted like it was nothing, he was so casual about it.

My boyfriend is Taiwanese, and I know this is wrong, but I have always have this mindset towards Asian men, especially Chinese, that they are more likely to cheat. What makes me worry is that he used to live in New York and partied all the time. He still goes back to NYC sometimes during his time off, and I have no idea what he does when he's there. He has mostly female friends and he keeps gifts from other girls in his room. I mean this might not be a big deal, but if he keeps them, which means those gifts have meanings to him and that makes me worry. He always say that I think too much and I should believe him because he won't lie to me. And believe me I've trying very hard to trust him, but I don't think I can do it. I'm basically believe him just because we are dating, and in order to maintain a relationship, trusting one another is a very important trait. Am I seriously thinking too much, or am I naive and stupid?

[wisawisa]

Try bringing up your concerns next time you two hang out. If these things are enough for you to worry about then they should be discussed. Also make it known to him that you are hurt by his actions. About the porn thing: some couples don't mind its presence in the relationship and some do. If it actually affects your security then it's important that the issue be brought up.

[nK)Duke]

Everyone's watching porn, whether they are single or not.

And for the gift thing. It depends on what he got. But if a boy would give you something, would you throw it away?

[xLionHeartx]

Well, you don't need advice on porn that's for sure but I'll address that first. I don't think you should be offended and it isn't too big of a deal honestly. Guys usually have their stash, some more than others and some don't have any, just depends.

What really sounds like you are going through is a communication/trust issue. You have some reason to doubt him so confront him about it. Not sure what the whole asian thing has to do with cheating, I tend to find most of the faithful couples as being asians although there are exceptions but I do agree with the whole NYC thing. NYC, does have a way of changing your lifestyle and it may affect him but lets not be narrow-minded and judge without proof.

He sounds like he is telling you in a calm manner for you to relax and that you are being paranoid for some reason. Maybe it is best to relax and just go with the flow. I won't say there is no chances he is playing with you but usually people who talk calmly are either speaking the truth or really good at lying.

[nK)Duke]

I would think more positive about the porn incident. It means that he like asians and that he is definitely not gay.

[shuiyin]

As far as the porn thing goes I'm pretty sure that most, if not all, guys watch porn. I don't think you should let it bother you too much. Although I think it's pretty uncool of him to just casually leave it on top his desk. If you really do feel uncomfortable with it then as wisawisa said just bring up your concerns to him. Trust is important in a relationship. A relationship full of insecurities isn't a relationship worth being in. Don't just ignore those feelings you have otherwise your just setting yourself for more hurt later on.

Regarding the gifts I'm not really sure if it's a big deal or not that he's keeping gifts from other girls but the fact that he just leaves them on display in his room when he has a girlfriend is pretty inconsiderate in my opinion. I think all your concerns are legit and you should bring them up to him.

[jbigdog123]

How do you feel about Porn?

Whether it is acceptable or not can only be determined by you.

[tlydia]

I always got the impression that guys watch porn at some point in their life. Maybe that's why your boyfriend was so casual about it. I guess everyone feels differently about porn. If it makes you feel that uncomfortable about him watching porn, maybe you should talk to him about it. Communication is the key. If you act like it doesn't matter to you, how is he suppose to know that you are bothered by it? Talk to him, let him know what's on your mind.

As for your boyfriend recieving gifts from his friends who happens to be girls, I really don't see any harm in it. Most of my friends are men, and I see them as brothers, nothing more than that. When I recieve gifts from them, it's usually a friend giving a friend a gift for a special occasion. I give them gifts too, it doesn't mean that I'm interested or attracted to them. Maybe your boyfriend thinks the same way I do. Unfortunately, my boyfriend feels differently.

Has your boyfriend done anything to make you think that he might cheat or might be interested in someone else? If not, then you should learn to trust him. For a relationship to work, there has to be trust. If trust doesn't exist in the relationship, then that truly isn't a relationship.

[Meenuh]

i have this problem where i seem to get very upset when my boyfriend oversleeps on days he can see me. he sleeps 12hrs + on weekends except on days his boss tells him to come into work on saturdays. the thing that really gets me is that ... he's not looking to do if as a career and needs to go back to school and stuff and yet he's so willing to do everything his boss says. he wakes up early on saturdays to go to work but can never wake up even after 8 or 9 hrs of NORMAL sleep to come see me. today, i thought i was going to see him and it is now almost 3pm. that's 13 hours of sleep. his boss and people even call him about work on weekends. the thing is, i think there should be a very specific boundary between your personal life and work and for some reason it's very upsetting and he doesn't seem to understand why it's upsetting. i work from 8-5 m-f and after work and on weekends, i am never contacted by my boss nor does he take us out to eat like every other damn week for a company dinner. he also doesn't send me on trips for shows in vegas (when there was a show) he goes himself. he doesn't send other people and doesn't set up for us to watch shows and stay in nice hotels. him on the other hand, works from what? 6am-5pm monday - friday and sometimes saturday and still gets calls on weekends from work people while he's with me. is it so wrong to want attention on weekends? it already angers me that he's being taken advantage of and he just seems to let them do it. his boss asked him tell me what time you wanna come in to work and instead of telling him he wants to start work a little later he tells him i won't be late anymore. he works 11 hours a day. that's not normal. his excuse is that he doesn't really do much and it's not hard work. he doesn't seem to get the point that he's not supposed to have to work that much in a day ESPECIALLY without overpay considering he's being payed "salary". it's funny how this "salary" goes down whenever he misses a day of work cause he's sick or something. i have never felt so much anger while being with my current boyfriend than anyone else and every single time i even say anything HE gets angry and makes it seem like i have NO right to be angry. my anger and sadness can never be justified with him. it's like he thinks i don't have a right to feel this way.

i have come to a conclusion that i hate my boyfriend's inconsiderate boss.

[Tuffcore]

Watching porn is commonly known as, "learning to be a better lover."

[k.stella86]

I have a unique situation. He's 27 and works as a bartender, and I'm 20 and just focusing on school. On our first date, we met at a dive bar (not one that he works at) for drinks, and then he invited me to his place so he could make me drinks. I thought his intention was to get me to bed but he surprisingly didn't make a move and instead we just talked for a good 3 hours.

What do you guys think? Should i give him a chance although he's a bartender and part of how he earns his money is by flirting with girls?

[switchlanez]

i have this problem where i seem to get very upset when my boyfriend oversleeps on days he can see me. he sleeps 12hrs + on weekends except on days his boss tells him to come into work on saturdays. the thing that really gets me is that ... he's not looking to do if as a career and needs to go back to school and stuff and yet he's so willing to do everything his boss says. he wakes up early on saturdays to go to work but can never wake up even after 8 or 9 hrs of NORMAL sleep to come see me. today, i thought i was going to see him and it is now almost 3pm. that's 13 hours of sleep. his boss and people even call him about work on weekends. the thing is, i think there should be a very specific boundary between your personal life and work and for some reason it's very upsetting and he doesn't seem to understand why it's upsetting. i work from 8-5 m-f and after work and on weekends, i am never contacted by my boss nor does he take us out to eat like every other damn week for a company dinner. he also doesn't send me on trips for shows in vegas (when there was a show) he goes himself. he doesn't send other people and doesn't set up for us to watch shows and stay in nice hotels. him on the other hand, works from what? 6am-5pm monday - friday and sometimes saturday and still gets calls on weekends from work people while he's with me. is it so wrong to want attention on weekends? it already angers me that he's being taken advantage of and he just seems to let them do it. his boss asked him tell me what time you wanna come in to work and instead of telling him he wants to start work a little later he tells him i won't be late anymore. he works 11 hours a day. that's not normal. his excuse is that he doesn't really do much and it's not hard work. he doesn't seem to get the point that he's not supposed to have to work that much in a day ESPECIALLY without overpay considering he's being payed "salary". it's funny how this "salary" goes down whenever he misses a day of work cause he's sick or something. i have never felt so much anger while being with my current boyfriend than anyone else and every single time i even say anything HE gets angry and makes it seem like i have NO right to be angry. my anger and sadness can never be justified with him. it's like he thinks i don't have a right to feel this way.

i have come to a conclusion that i hate my boyfriend's inconsiderate boss.

You make it sound like your bf doesn't put enough effort into seeing you but I'm almost certain he sees it differently. The management sounds shady. Something similar happened in my company which resulted in a lawsuit. What type of work does he do, if you don't mind me asking?

[NewsStrive717]

I always got the impression that guys watch porn at some point in their life. Maybe that's why your boyfriend was so casual about it. I guess everyone feels differently about porn. If it makes you feel that uncomfortable about him watching porn, maybe you should talk to him about it. Communication is the key. If you act like it doesn't matter to you, how is he suppose to know that you are bothered by it? Talk to him, let him know what's on your mind.

As for your boyfriend recieving gifts from his friends who happens to be girls, I really don't see any harm in it. Most of my friends are men, and I see them as brothers, nothing more than that. When I recieve gifts from them, it's usually a friend giving a friend a gift for a special occasion. I give them gifts too, it doesn't mean that I'm interested or attracted to them. Maybe your boyfriend thinks the same way I do. Unfortunately, my boyfriend feels differently.

Has your boyfriend done anything to make you think that he might cheat or might be interested in someone else? If not, then you should learn to trust him. For a relationship to work, there has to be trust. If trust doesn't exist in the relationship, then that truly isn't a relationship.

We've only dated for a little more than three months. I don't know anyone of his close friends, and so even if he cheats on me, I would not know. I'm at school most of the time, and I only go home during weekends. So basically whatever he tells me, I have to believe him. There's no way for me to catch him. I don't know him well enough.



to xLionHeartx
My boyfriend is a very good liar. He admited that himself. He makes joke all the time at work and all his co-workers have a trust issue with him. He takes pleasure at fooling people and gets excited when someone catches his lies. He is quite a character. But he told me he won't cheat on me and that he won't tell me lies. He is also very good at making girls happy. He once said that he is very nice to girls and that he can't help himself. Whenever I get mad at him, he can always find a way to make me forgive him. I think I'm too vulnerable, and because of that, what makes me different than all the other girls that he is nice to?

[watcher]

i have this problem where i seem to get very upset when my boyfriend oversleeps on days he can see me. he sleeps 12hrs + on weekends except on days his boss tells him to come into work on saturdays. the thing that really gets me is that ... he's not looking to do if as a career and needs to go back to school and stuff and yet he's so willing to do everything his boss says. he wakes up early on saturdays to go to work but can never wake up even after 8 or 9 hrs of NORMAL sleep to come see me. today, i thought i was going to see him and it is now almost 3pm. that's 13 hours of sleep. his boss and people even call him about work on weekends. the thing is, i think there should be a very specific boundary between your personal life and work and for some reason it's very upsetting and he doesn't seem to understand why it's upsetting. i work from 8-5 m-f and after work and on weekends, i am never contacted by my boss nor does he take us out to eat like every other damn week for a company dinner. he also doesn't send me on trips for shows in vegas (when there was a show) he goes himself. he doesn't send other people and doesn't set up for us to watch shows and stay in nice hotels. him on the other hand, works from what? 6am-5pm monday - friday and sometimes saturday and still gets calls on weekends from work people while he's with me. is it so wrong to want attention on weekends? it already angers me that he's being taken advantage of and he just seems to let them do it. his boss asked him tell me what time you wanna come in to work and instead of telling him he wants to start work a little later he tells him i won't be late anymore. he works 11 hours a day. that's not normal. his excuse is that he doesn't really do much and it's not hard work. he doesn't seem to get the point that he's not supposed to have to work that much in a day ESPECIALLY without overpay considering he's being payed "salary". it's funny how this "salary" goes down whenever he misses a day of work cause he's sick or something. i have never felt so much anger while being with my current boyfriend than anyone else and every single time i even say anything HE gets angry and makes it seem like i have NO right to be angry. my anger and sadness can never be justified with him. it's like he thinks i don't have a right to feel this way.

i have come to a conclusion that i hate my boyfriend's inconsiderate boss.

it's not his boss that's the problem. it's your boy. i've had plenty of friends who worke as wage slaves. it happens, but to me, it seems pretty clear any relationship issue is not with his boss. it's your boy's personal decision to manage his time.

I have a unique situation. He's 27 and works as a bartender, and I'm 20 and just focusing on school. On our first date, we met at a dive bar (not one that he works at) for drinks, and then he invited me to his place so he could make me drinks. I thought his intention was to get me to bed but he surprisingly didn't make a move and instead we just talked for a good 3 hours.

What do you guys think? Should i give him a chance although he's a bartender and part of how he earns his money is by flirting with girls?

depends... what do you want? if you dont know what you want, probably better to take a step back.

We've only dated for a little more than three months. I don't know anyone of his close friends, and so even if he cheats on me, I would not know. I'm at school most of the time, and I only go home during weekends. So basically whatever he tells me, I have to believe him. There's no way for me to catch him. I don't know him well enough.



to xLionHeartx
My boyfriend is a very good liar. He admited that himself. He makes joke all the time at work and all his co-workers have a trust issue with him. He takes pleasure at fooling people and gets excited when someone catches his lies. He is quite a character. But he told me he won't cheat on me and that he won't tell me lies. He is also very good at making girls happy. He once said that he is very nice to girls and that he can't help himself. Whenever I get mad at him, he can always find a way to make me forgive him. I think I'm too vulnerable, and because of that, what makes me different than all the other girls that he is nice to?

i wouldnt get into a relationship with anyone that prides themself in lying. i agree with lydia... if you cant fully trust this guy, consider it over. learn to trust him, or walk away.