[watcher]

No thanks. I'd rather pass by the chasing, the getting to know each other, and the slow building of feelings with time than a one shot attempt to love someone.

Also, there's a high probability of divorce since the 2 people get stuck with each other. It's either accept the whole package, or let go of all the work.

i think arranged marriages may have an opposite effect. people who prefer to act and think freely can invision a hell that they'd want to get out of since there is no love involved, but granted that the two parties grew up in traditional environments [certainly traditional enough to endorse arranged marriages] there will be more social pressure to keep the marriage alive, therefore making arranged marriages more difficult to get out of then two people who freely decided to get married. the divorce rate is high regardless, but i wouldn't be surprised if arranged marriages carry a higher success rate than your typical marriage bound by 'love.'

[Prot]

Arranged marriages can turn into marriages bound by "love".

[motheritried]

I will marry for money. Do you have money?

[angelicXD]

Eh?
If I'm already in one, wouldn't that already imply that I decided to go for it?

lol bad way of putting in that sentence on my part? anyway I mean as you're in one that you did not agreed to. your parents does everything already.


i just thought it's interesting because we were discussing about arranged marriages in my anthropology class. read the article on Arranged Marriage in India by Nanda Warm. lol

[sohothot]

i need help...

this girl and i used to work near each other. whenever she's near me, she'd act like she's in a hurry to get away from me.. im cool with that.

lately, now that i got moved to a different spot to work at. we dont work near each other anymore, but whenever we're about to get ready to pack up, she'd try and come to my spot and help me out. its hard to talk while packing out at the same time, so everybody just work really quick. while we're both working, she'd stand there and pretend to work while looking at me without me catching her, but i know she is staring at me...

all she's been doing lately is stare at me for 3-4 seconds with a really sad face when im not catching her.. but when i do catch her, she wont look at me.

she supposedly got a boyfriend so i really dont know why shes giving me hints...she look to find out where i park my car each day at work too..

[mikomi]

Arranged Marriage:

My parent's were arranged. They knew each other for a total of 100 days and to celebrate, they got married that day. It's one thing to date someone you were arranged to meet but it's another to skip the dating and straight up marry them. Why would you want that for yourself? You havent seen the dynamics of two strangers stuck together forever- and opposites to add to it. What would you tell your children?! Others start with, "well mommy and daddy loved each other so much that______." Mine...just ignored me. I never had the birds and bees talk, never had the drug talk, never had talks about how to date guys. My mom-never dated anyone that wasnt my dad. He was her first EVERYTHING. I can't hate them for it because they had me, but i resent the fact that they made growing up SO MUCH HARDER. It was ultra confusing because while everyone elses' parents held hands, went to dates together, laughed and joked with each other, mine ..... sleep in separate rooms, don't have conversations, and don't leave the house unless they have to. Marriage for love, is STILL a foreign idea for me. To this day, at the age of 23, I have to treat my parents like 5 year olds that can't get along. When I tell one parent something important, I get a call later from the other parent wondering about the same thing I told the other one. COMMUNICATE, GUYS!! I digress.
Arranged marriages are usually situations you don't divorce because so many other things are on the line. WHen you don't marry for love you automatically forfeit your right to complain, to want better, to want anything else, to want to divorce.

[derrek]

Nope, I have no money. NEXT!

[mikomi]

i need help...

this girl and i used to work near each other. whenever she's near me, she'd act like she's in a hurry to get away from me.. im cool with that.

lately, now that i got moved to a different spot to work at. we dont work near each other anymore, but whenever we're about to get ready to pack up, she'd try and come to my spot and help me out. its hard to talk while packing out at the same time, so everybody just work really quick. while we're both working, she'd stand there and pretend to work while looking at me without me catching her, but i know she is staring at me...

all she's been doing lately is stare at me for 3-4 seconds with a really sad face when im not catching her.. but when i do catch her, she wont look at me.

she supposedly got a boyfriend so i really dont know why shes giving me hints...she look to find out where i park my car each day at work too..

..creepy stalker. Ask her to hang out- if you want her to go away be aggressive about it too. Ask her to get a beer with you after work. If she says yes, start talking about work..then digress into social life..then casually ask her if you're seeing anyone. If she tries to avoid the topic, say something like " ..well just wonderng cuz like, for me, there's this girl, I think she likes me and I feel like she's stalking me.."

I dunno guess I'm a little too straight forward for the average person. Might be a little cruel if you're a guy saying it to a girl..

[questions987]

Arranged marriages are social contracts just like a business agreement. If both parties go into it as a business agreement - i don't see why they wouldn't work.

Of course, I did agree to one, and my mom just pulled the cord on that because she couldn't bare to watch me be the obediant daughter to that extent.

[questions987]

Arranged marriages are social contracts just like a business agreement. If both parties go into it as a business agreement - i don't see why they wouldn't work.

Of course, I did agree to one, and my mom just pulled the cord on that because she couldn't bare to watch me be the obediant daughter to that extent.

[derrek]

I'm in an arranged marriage with a mountain goat... my dad experimented with many drugs

[mikomi]

I'm in an arranged marriage with a mountain goat... my dad experimented with many drugs

Well does the mountain goat have a lot of money? If it does you can eat it and take the money!

[watcher]

Well does the mountain goat have a lot of money? If it does you can eat it and take the money!

or he can eat it and marry another one.

[derrek]

Ok, I ate the money, now what?

[coreancc]

Arranged Marriage:

My parent's were arranged. They knew each other for a total of 100 days and to celebrate, they got married that day. It's one thing to date someone you were arranged to meet but it's another to skip the dating and straight up marry them. Why would you want that for yourself? You havent seen the dynamics of two strangers stuck together forever- and opposites to add to it. What would you tell your children?! Others start with, "well mommy and daddy loved each other so much that______." Mine...just ignored me. I never had the birds and bees talk, never had the drug talk, never had talks about how to date guys. My mom-never dated anyone that wasnt my dad. He was her first EVERYTHING. I can't hate them for it because they had me, but i resent the fact that they made growing up SO MUCH HARDER. It was ultra confusing because while everyone elses' parents held hands, went to dates together, laughed and joked with each other, mine ..... sleep in separate rooms, don't have conversations, and don't leave the house unless they have to. Marriage for love, is STILL a foreign idea for me. To this day, at the age of 23, I have to treat my parents like 5 year olds that can't get along. When I tell one parent something important, I get a call later from the other parent wondering about the same thing I told the other one. COMMUNICATE, GUYS!! I digress.
Arranged marriages are usually situations you don't divorce because so many other things are on the line. WHen you don't marry for love you automatically forfeit your right to complain, to want better, to want anything else, to want to divorce.

My parents were very similar to yours, only they didn't have an arranged marriage. Even a marriage for love can become shipwrecked on a barren shore.
I don't suppose your parents are open much to the idea of talking about it with you?

Arranged marriages are social contracts just like a business agreement. If both parties go into it as a business agreement - i don't see why they wouldn't work.

Of course, I did agree to one, and my mom just pulled the cord on that because she couldn't bare to watch me be the obediant daughter to that extent.

Seriously? You agreed to an arranged marriage? <ears perk up> I wouldn't mind hearing that story.

[mikomi]

Ok, I ate the money, now what?

ahhh! you were supposed to eat the goat! Silly you, no wonder you dont have any money. You ate it!

[derrek]

But I love the goat for more than its money

[watcher]

But I love the goat for more than its money

well then my dear friend, you're truly the rich one. to wish you eternal happiness...

[donporkuloin]

I have a female friend. Let's call her Jane. I went out with Jane last year on 2 dates. I only went out with her because my female friends were stressing that I should go out with a Black girl. I don't really date a lot of Black women, and I'm Black. So anyways we went out. At first I had a little crush on her, but when we went out it faded fast. She really had a good time, but I felt miserable both times we went out.

I tried to distance myself from her after that. I ended up moving out of state, and I moved back. We ended up getting in contact. We went out a few times. I only saw it as going out as friends. But apparently she has an interest in me. Like we went out the other day. The bill came and I paid for my end, and she just looked mad at me. Like I was supposed to pay for more than that.

It's obvious she still likes me. She wants me to move in with her. She stays close to where I go to work at and stuff. But I just keep thinking I shouldn't move in with her. I don't want to be with her, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. Part of me is thinking maybe I should just be hurtful and tell her. Just because being nice doesn't really get me anywhere these days anyways. Any suggestions?

[watcher]

^ honesty goes a long way