[donporkuloin]

I think it all comes down to if I enjoyed the first date. Basically everything adds up to if I had a good time, or not. I know it sounds a bit selfish.

I think that's most women in general.

For me.. the deal breaker is someone's honesty. So many girls these days lie or choose to be vague. Yet they expect the guy to be honest. Not having a 1 sided conversation. I hate when you talk to a girl and she just sits there with her hands on her face staring at you when you're talking. I like it when a girl has an opinion, and expresses it. I can't get to know a girl if she's quiet. I went out with this girl and she did that the whole time. I was disappointed.

The girl I'm dating now really wowed me when we went on our 1st date. Once we sat down we just talked it up like we knew each other for years. We've both been out on crappy dates so once we realized it was a good date it just felt natural talking to her. The restauarant was closing and we were still talking. Her sister came in to make us leave. Lol.

[Meenuh]

Wait....so what was your question????

lol. yeah .. what she said.

[7thprincess]

^I think he asked about our experiences at bars. *shrugs*

[angelicXD]

I think it all comes down to if I enjoyed the first date. Basically everything adds up to if I had a good time, or not. I know it sounds a bit selfish.

I don't think that's selfish.

deal breaker: do they look and sound sincere. there is more but eh.

[Pogichinoy]

He has this 'lazy hour - 8pm-9pm' where he does nothing but be a couch potato. In this hour, he doesn't want to turn his head even.. lol. You are a guy right??~ how lazy can you get sometimes?? haha~! XDD

I'm always lazy. jkjkjk but some people just want some 'me' time, doing what they like doing, even if they're not doing much.

But gosh, 1 hr? That's not toooooo bad.

[rubyj]

sense of humor! i love it when a guy can make me laugh
other than that, someone who's not too self-absorbed and someone who actually listens. definite points if the guy listens and remembers certain points from the date.

Q for the guys-- do you guys expect your gfs/fiances/wives to do all the housework and be good at cooking? how would you guys react if your gf refused to do those things, at least not all of the time?

[questions987]

dating and realtionships are overrated.

I thought I'd like the idea of having someone around - I love the person I'm hanging out with (not in love) and I think they're great and we have a great time. It's just so freaking complicated, and I feel like I have a puppy following me around now. So I ask for a break so he can think and I can breathe and he freaks out - ACK.

He had 24 hour duty yesterday, it was so nice. Going home from school - watching tv and sleeping. It was great not having to drive 20 minutes away ( I hate people coming to my house) and then talking, and hanging out, and talking. It was nice not having to call someone to tell them I got home safely or knowing that if I didn't pick up the phone within 20-30 minutes of leaving another person's house, he would call me to find out if I'd gotten home. It was cute the first 2 times, maybe I'm not cut out for relationships, maybe 6 years of being a hermit and being single has stuck and I can't be in relationships anymore.

I love being with him, I don't love the drama that comes with it, or the stress, or the suffocating. ARGH.

Why do people date? This sucks.

**Sorry had to gripe, don't know where else to gripe - everyone says I'm crazy and I should feel blessed that he cares about me that much. I mean, what guy freaking volunteers to go shoe shopping, and company functions, and weddings - just to go with me?

[donporkuloin]

sense of humor! i love it when a guy can make me laugh
other than that, someone who's not too self-absorbed and someone who actually listens. definite points if the guy listens and remembers certain points from the date.

Q for the guys-- do you guys expect your gfs/fiances/wives to do all the housework and be good at cooking? how would you guys react if your gf refused to do those things, at least not all of the time?

If I get official with the girl I'm dating? Then I would expect her to pitch in with the housework and cooking, etc. She doesn't have to do all of it.


questions987: I think you don't like to be smothered, but I think it's a little weird that you don't like people coming over your house. Lol. As far as him calling you all the time. Communicate with him and tell him how he's smothering you, and tell the boy not to freak out. Lol.

[coreancc]

dating and realtionships are overrated.

I thought I'd like the idea of having someone around - I love the person I'm hanging out with (not in love) and I think they're great and we have a great time. It's just so freaking complicated, and I feel like I have a puppy following me around now. So I ask for a break so he can think and I can breathe and he freaks out - ACK.

He had 24 hour duty yesterday, it was so nice. Going home from school - watching tv and sleeping. It was great not having to drive 20 minutes away ( I hate people coming to my house) and then talking, and hanging out, and talking. It was nice not having to call someone to tell them I got home safely or knowing that if I didn't pick up the phone within 20-30 minutes of leaving another person's house, he would call me to find out if I'd gotten home. It was cute the first 2 times, maybe I'm not cut out for relationships, maybe 6 years of being a hermit and being single has stuck and I can't be in relationships anymore.

I love being with him, I don't love the drama that comes with it, or the stress, or the suffocating. ARGH.

Why do people date? This sucks.

**Sorry had to gripe, don't know where else to gripe - everyone says I'm crazy and I should feel blessed that he cares about me that much. I mean, what guy freaking volunteers to go shoe shopping, and company functions, and weddings - just to go with me?

I don't know... whack me over the head if I'm being presumptuous, but, going only on what you've written here, it sounds to me like he isn't a good fit for you. Everyone is different, and out there somewhere is a girl who would really appreciate all the things this guy is doing - but you don't sound like that girl. Nothing wrong with that. As some would say, the two of you speak different "love languages" (yes, yes, I know it's not love for you - but it really seems like a guy who does all that is either in love or at least extremely interested). This guy is a puppy, and you aren't a puppy lover. Don't be afraid to let things not work out with this guy. And don't be afraid to wait for the right man to come along. Along the same lines, there is a guy out there somewhere who is just your kind of guy - he lives life at your pace, is much more relaxed about things, and is fine with just hanging out or letting you have your space. When you find the guy who speaks your language, you will find that the relationship becomes much less complicated.

[7thprincess]

I told my guy that I wont, or I might not be going to see him this winter break, because.....

I AM GOING TO OBAMA's inauguration!!!!! (Well that is the plan as of right now.)

He was kinda sad..but oh well....i tried making him understand that its O B A M A!!! Its a once in a lifetime chance!! I told him that if I am going for sure, then I wont be going to see him. I promised that I was going to see him, that is why I feel kinda bad....but its OBAMA!!!!

So if I do go, how should I make it up to him?

[donporkuloin]

I told my guy that I wont, or I might not be going to see him this winter break, because.....

I AM GOING TO OBAMA's inauguration!!!!! (Well that is the plan as of right now.)

He was kinda sad..but oh well....i tried making him understand that its O B A M A!!! Its a once in a lifetime chance!! I told him that if I am going for sure, then I wont be going to see him. I promised that I was going to see him, that is why I feel kinda bad....but its OBAMA!!!!

So if I do go, how should I make it up to him?

Just go see your guy 7thprincess, because you like him.. don't you? Put yourself in your man's shoes. What if he did this to you? You'd be let down. Especially since the distance... I mean you're crushing the dude by not going. He's gonna have doubts if you don't go? I say not going is showing him you don't like him. Making it up to him is wow.. let's just say a material gift wouldn't do the trick.


As for my situation. I've been dating this girl for a month now. Things are great. I was going to leave and move back home. But because of her I'm staying. I feel great when I'm with her. I feel great when I'm around her. Because we have a great friendship, but there's feelings there too. We know it and we aren't denying it. It's crazy because we have so much in common. I've never met anyone like her. I'm just wowed when I'm with her and I already know she feels the same way.

Point being though. She has relationship experience and I don't. But she's never held hands with a guy before. I'm not really good at this sort of thing. Idk what to do. How does it work. Do I just grab her hand while we're walking? Or do I just suggest holding hands?

[kandi]

^depends. i like spontaneous actions and it would be more romantic if you just grabbed her hand then ask her permission for it.

[7thprincess]

Just go see your guy 7thprincess, because you like him.. don't you? Put yourself in your man's shoes. What if he did this to you? You'd be let down. Especially since the distance... I mean you're crushing the dude by not going. He's gonna have doubts if you don't go? I say not going is showing him you don't like him. Making it up to him is wow.. let's just say a material gift wouldn't do the trick.

Yes I would be disappointed, but I would understand because its Obama! If he had the chance to go, I would let him.

Ok here is the thing: If it is confirmed that I can go to DC, I am going! You, whoever, and my guy can try to convince me, but at the end, I am going. I am going to DC, no matter what. Selfish? A bit. Stubborn? Maybe. But....its OBAMA!!!

I do like him, and me not going to see him doesn't mean that I don't care or don't like him...I mean does it? I have an oppurtunity to go to America's FIRST non-white President's inauguration, why would he not want me to go?

[donporkuloin]

Yes I would be disappointed, but I would understand because its Obama! If he had the chance to go, I would let him.

Ok here is the thing: If it is confirmed that I can go to DC, I am going! You, whoever, and my guy can try to convince me, but at the end, I am going. I am going to DC, no matter what. Selfish? A bit. Stubborn? Maybe. But....its OBAMA!!!

I do like him, and me not going to see him doesn't mean that I don't care or don't like him...I mean does it? I have an oppurtunity to go to America's FIRST non-white President's inauguration, why would he not want me to go?

I'm Black and it's not that deep to see Obama. I like how you have first in caps though. Lol. That's that stubbornness in you.

Let it go, take a loss, and be with your man.

[7thprincess]

I'm Black and it's not that deep to see Obama. I like how you have first in caps though. Lol. That's that stubbornness in you.

Let it go, take a loss, and be with your man.

No. I am going.

[derrek]

haha, this is ridiculous! Go see Obama, how often will you have a chance to do this again? If he cares about you, he will understand... I believe they call it a sacrifice!

[7thprincess]

haha, this is ridiculous! Go see Obama, how often will you have a chance to do this again? If he cares about you, he will understand... I believe they call it a sacrifice!

Thank you. So how would I make it up to him? <---that is my main important question.

[derrek]

Just make sure he's clear on how much it means to you, and I'm sure he'll understand. If you really need to make it up to him still, just negotiate another meeting as soon as possible and... cook him something... or you know what guys really like? yeah... yeah. So next time just... yeah. It gets our minds off pretty much anything.

[Pogichinoy]

Thank you. So how would I make it up to him? <---that is my main important question.

Be his slave for the day, that should balance things out.

[[HyuNi]]

Do you think there's a difference between what you want in a s/o and what you need in a s/o?

i.e. you may want someone spantaneous and likes to travel but what you really need is a grounded person to establish a foundation
Or you may want someone whose independent, but need someone who gives you constant attention

I think I'm starting to realize that the characteristics I like in a girl are not necessarily what I need in a relationship...