[7thprincess]

So how much influence does your friends and family play in your dating life?

For me: My parents have no ifluence, because they are very close minded. But I really value my sisters and best friends' thoughts and opinions. To tell you the truth, if any one of them doesn't like the guy I am talking to..I'll drop him in a heartbeat.

[HERMIT]

So how much influence does your friends and family play in your dating life?

Not much really.
I actually have to put myself under the influence just to muster up the courage to talk to a girl.

[donporkuloin]

So how much influence does your friends and family play in your dating life?

For me: My parents have no ifluence, because they are very close minded. But I really value my sisters and best friends' thoughts and opinions. To tell you the truth, if any one of them doesn't like the guy I am talking to..I'll drop him in a heartbeat.

My parents don't really influence my dating life. My cousin's opinions count somewhat. Especially my best friend.


7thprincess: Just stating my opinion... don't get all mad, but why would you drop a dude just because one of your friends or sisters doesn't like the guy. You could be dating a guy and your sisters or best friends may not like the guy for something as simple as his occupation or hair color.. so you're gonna drop him? So if we were dating and one of your best friend's didn't like my opinion on Ne-Yo? You'd drop me.

[derrek]

There's only one person right now I would trust enough to take notice to. He wouldn't say things out of jealousy, but only for my own good. My best friend and co-film writer/editor/director/cinematographer. My parents, and everyone else, definitely not. If someone is close enough that I could trust they were giving input for the higher good I would listen. But really, not much.

[HSuke]

I found out she couldn't hear half of what I said. She didn't expect me to be Black. Which is hilarious in itself to me.

You, my friend, are awesome! I would have loved to see the look of surprise on her face.

[7thprincess]

7thprincess: Just stating my opinion... don't get all mad, but why would you drop a dude just because one of your friends or sisters doesn't like the guy. You could be dating a guy and your sisters or best friends may not like the guy for something as simple as his occupation or hair color.. so you're gonna drop him? So if we were dating and one of your best friend's didn't like my opinion on Ne-Yo? You'd drop me.

Oh no my sisters and my best friends won't hate on anyone as simple as his occupation or hair color. They might see something in his character that I don't see, since love makes you blind. That is why I really value their opinion because I know and trust them that they won't judge a person by their looks, but more on their actions, personality, and character. It depends on what your opinion on Ne-Yo is. If you don't like his music, I couldn't care at all.

[donporkuloin]

Oh no my sisters and my best friends won't hate on anyone as simple as his occupation or hair color. They might see something in his character that I don't see, since love makes you blind. That is why I really value their opinion because I know and trust them that they won't judge a person by their looks, but more on their actions, personality, and character. It depends on what your opinion on Ne-Yo is. If you don't like his music, I couldn't care at all.

I think his music is ok, but that one song Forbidden Fruit. Not a fan of it.

[Pogichinoy]

So how much influence does your friends and family play in your dating life?

For me: My parents have no ifluence, because they are very close minded. But I really value my sisters and best friends' thoughts and opinions. To tell you the truth, if any one of them doesn't like the guy I am talking to..I'll drop him in a heartbeat.

My family has no say in my dating life.

I'll gladly take my friend's opinion but doesn't mean I'll take their advice. I make my own decisions.

[David]

So I live in an apartment and I noticed there were three hot/cute girls living right across from my place. We never really hung out with each other but instead just met each other briefly several times since September of this year; once on Halloween and random times during the weekend. One day I ran into one of the girls on campus and we conversed talking about school stuff (common topics like what major are you and what do you want to be, etc.). The conversation ended with her saying I should come visit that weekend. I tried but no one was home. I haven't really talked to any of them since then. I really want to ask one of them out but to be honest I haven't really approached a girl since high school freshman year so I don't even know where to begin. On the other hand, I tell myself I'm going through a phase and that I should concentrate on other things and forget this silly ordeal. I seriously feel like I'm in high school again or something. What should I do to remedy this situation? I'm open to all ears, so ANYONE please provide me a solution to end this ridiculous perplexed feeling I have.

[7thprincess]

Thats why you start talking to them again. Or you can make an excuse like: Hey I ran out of sugar. Can I borrow some?
Or you can throw a little dinner party and invite them over and say like: Hey we've been nieghbors for such and such time and I wouldn't mind getting to know you guys more. Blah blah blah blah.....

You can cook right?

[derrek]

Go next door, find the one with the biggest boobs, and ask if you can see them.

[Pogichinoy]

Knock on their door and invite them for a movie night. Junk food, drinks, movies, and company, what more can one ask?

Or just show them your shoe collection.

[Prot]

You know Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle? Yeah. Take some initiative. Also why would you ask someone out when you barely even know them? Unless you mean ask out as in go out for a drink to get to know them. Superficial infatuations get nowhere.

[jerseycity]

again girls like confident funny guys... not pompous though! you can do it man don't be like harold.. be like harold in his day dream haha

[Tuxedomask]

Go next door, find the one with the biggest boobs, and ask if you can see them.

Haha...that's the best idea yet bro.

But yeah I'd try to get to know them a little before I ask any of them out on a date.

[HERMIT]

Probably the easiest, logical, and unassuming way to get to know these girls is to throw an informal get-together/party with your other friends and then walking over to their place and inviting them over to join in on the fun. It could be for anything you can think of: a simple movie and pizza night; an early Christmas get-together with friends before everyone departs on their respective holiday break; or, if you think they might be interested in sports, invite them over for beer and snacks night of PPV boxing, ultimate fighting, or some basketball/football game. Basically, create some kind of social occasion in which you can find yourself in some low-pressure environment to converse and get to know the girl(s) better.

[jN x3 sK]

yeah, if you're uncomfortable about it, have some of your friends over your house for a little get together and use that as an excuse to invite them over.

[tian`tian]

So I have an issue that is bugging me. My younger brother recently brought a girl (who I'm pretty sure is his gf although he refuses to admit it - I saw them holding hands, cuddling on the couch watching a movie, etc) to our home for Thanksgiving (not as crazy as you think lol...we house a lot of international students for Thanksgiving, which she is). My mom is in LOVE with her! She was always talking to her, then repeating what she learned to me and my friend, trying to get us to include the girl in anything and everything, and even drove her ~ 45 min away back to the city (we live in the burbs) so she wouldn't have to take the train/bus/el and know that the girl got back there safely -- even though my friend/also roommate also lives in the city and my mom NEVER drives her back randomly like that, only if I used to need a ride too.

She's always going on about how the girl is so independent is so cute, etc.

This would be all good and fine, but what I noticed is that she doesn't act like that AT ALL with my boyfriend! My other brother (also younger) has pointed this out to her as well. Both my bf and my bro's gf have been to our house once and my mom barely talked to my bf then. She doesn't make any sort of effort to talk to him or get to know him. THEN, her reasoning is because for her daughter she wants someone who is "better" than me. Which in all cases of Asian parents means good school, good job, etc. etc. My bf was pretty wild when he was younger, before I started dating him, but has really matured the past couple years, finishing school, now going to grad school for finance, interning at Morgan Stanley to hopefully transition to a job, looking to get his MBA after some work experience, etc.

I know that my bf has the drive to succeed and he has the personality that can help him reach his goals, but my mom won't take the time to get to know him past his "resume."

I didn't think it was as big of a deal until I saw how differently she reacted towards my brother's gf.

What can I do about this?

*Sorry for the long post with lots of parentheses...hope it makes sense!!

[Tuffcore]

What can I do about this?

All you can do is ask your mom to be fair, patient, and don't judge until the end. Your BF also needs to make a better effort at showing off his skills and marketing himself to your mom. Other than that, you can't really do anything because this is between your mom and your BF.

That, or let your mom pick your BFs for you...

[[HyuNi]]

^
haha
What else is there to say?
Your mother must REALLY like your younger brother's girlfriend.
She's your mom... of course she's going to be brutally honest.
If your mother is anything like my parents... or other asian parents, they probably won't say anything directly bad, but they'll let you know through their actions or subtle comments.

It may be just me, because I consider myself to be a bit more traditional than others around my age, but I wouldn't want to date someone, much less marry someone, if my parents didn't approve.
My parents have lived more than twice as long as I have, probably have met twice the amount of people than I have, and have known me literally all my life.
I trust them to know how to seperate the good and the bad, as well as know what kind of girl would fit me best.