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20+ Love And Relationships Thread

#4451 User is offline   HERMIT 

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Posted 18 December 2008 - 09:03 AM

QUOTE (coreancc @ Dec 18 2008, 08:28 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
^ Really, only 7? And here I thought you were even older than that, after all your various comments, lol. smile.gif

Haha, yeah I'm constantly cryptic about my age. rolleyes.gif
But one thing that's true, I am generally older than most.
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#4452 User is offline   motheritried 

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Posted 18 December 2008 - 08:49 PM

So tonight a guy cried in front of me because I didn't want to see him get rude and nude. Then I apologized for being a prude because he seemed like he really NEEDED someone. Now he's not going to talk to me for awhile because he hates himself. Hot diggity dog.
It's just the radio.
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#4453 User is offline   YUNA! 

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Posted 18 December 2008 - 09:58 PM

QUOTE (HERMIT @ Dec 18 2008, 12:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Haha, yeah I'm constantly cryptic about my age. rolleyes.gif
But one thing that's true, I am generally older than most.


Stop beating around the bush, we all know how old you really are laugh.gif haha~~~ jk xP
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#4454 User is offline   derrek 

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Posted 18 December 2008 - 10:02 PM

QUOTE (motheritried @ Dec 19 2008, 12:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So tonight a guy cried in front of me because I didn't want to see him get rude and nude. Then I apologized for being a prude because he seemed like he really NEEDED someone. Now he's not going to talk to me for awhile because he hates himself. Hot diggity dog.


HAHAHA, hot diggity dog. Sounds like a blast!
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#4455 User is offline   HSuke 

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Posted 18 December 2008 - 10:40 PM

QUOTE (motheritried @ Dec 18 2008, 08:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So tonight a guy cried in front of me because I didn't want to see him get rude and nude. Then I apologized for being a prude because he seemed like he really NEEDED someone. Now he's not going to talk to me for awhile because he hates himself. Hot diggity dog.

Lame. You had no reason to apologize.
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#4456 User is offline   YUNA! 

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Posted 19 December 2008 - 11:59 AM

Why do people always hurt you when you decide to trust them?
Is it because by then they feel comfortable around you and they decide to just throw around words without a secod thought?

.... tears.gif
I am an alien from the 5th dimension. Be afraiiid.
Canadians bleed hockey, and the gold medal is now where it belongs: home. Oh, Canada.
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#4457 User is offline   masturyan 

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Posted 19 December 2008 - 12:23 PM

QUOTE (motheritried @ Dec 18 2008, 08:49 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So tonight a guy cried in front of me because I didn't want to see him get rude and nude. Then I apologized for being a prude because he seemed like he really NEEDED someone. Now he's not going to talk to me for awhile because he hates himself. Hot diggity dog.

That was quite rhymey.
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#4458 User is offline   motheritried 

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Posted 19 December 2008 - 02:58 PM

Yeah, I didn't have to apologize, but he just laid it all out there and I felt awful for rejecting him and making him cry.

I should become a poet or maybe just write songs for Britney Spears. You know, whatever.
It's just the radio.
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#4459 User is offline   toxic-apple 

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Posted 20 December 2008 - 10:55 AM

hi everyone, I need help! Since I'm still young and a loser, I need your advice on how to avoid being pressure into drinking?

My friend invited me to her friend Christmas Party, since I'm a nice girl, I have never drink any alcoholic beverage before.

I don't want to be the center of attention or a party pooper by my reaction to alcohol, so what do I do now?

Should I just hold the beer can and has apple juice fake it instead? What can I do? and I saw my friend pressured by her friend to drink before. So help please. Thanks

QUOTE (YUNA! @ Dec 19 2008, 01:59 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why do people always hurt you when you decide to trust them?
Is it because by then they feel comfortable around you and they decide to just throw around words without a secod thought?

.... tears.gif


I'm just curious.... what make you trust them in the first place? and what did they say to hurt you?

Sometime, it wasn't their intention to hurt you. Maybe you should talk to those people about it.
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#4460 User is offline   derrek 

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Posted 20 December 2008 - 11:37 AM

The eaaaaaasiest thing is to say you're allergic haha. That works.

For me personally, I've just gotten used to declining. "No thanks, I'm not drinking tonight." it's that simple!
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#4461 User is offline   Prot 

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Posted 20 December 2008 - 01:34 PM

QUOTE (toxic-apple @ Dec 20 2008, 01:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hi everyone, I need help! Since I'm still young and a loser, I need your advice on how to avoid being pressure into drinking?

My friend invited me to her friend Christmas Party, since I'm a nice girl, I have never drink any alcoholic beverage before.

I don't want to be the center of attention or a party pooper by my reaction to alcohol, so what do I do now?

Should I just hold the beer can and has apple juice fake it instead? What can I do? and I saw my friend pressured by her friend to drink before. So help please. Thanks



I'm just curious.... what make you trust them in the first place? and what did they say to hurt you?

Sometime, it wasn't their intention to hurt you. Maybe you should talk to those people about it.

Just say no, I do not want to drink. If they say "oh come on, one sip, one cup etc." just stand your ground and say no seriously, you do not want to drink. Its not a party pooper thing to do, unless the party is focused around drinking games or something but even then, you can play and have someone drink for you haha
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#4462 User is offline   HERMIT 

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Posted 20 December 2008 - 01:53 PM

QUOTE (toxic-apple @ Dec 20 2008, 10:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My friend invited me to her friend Christmas Party, since I'm a nice girl, I have never drink any alcoholic beverage before.

I don't want to be the center of attention or a party pooper by my reaction to alcohol, so what do I do now?

Should I just hold the beer can and has apple juice fake it instead? What can I do? and I saw my friend pressured by her friend to drink before. So help please. Thanks

First of all, are you actually against drinking or are you more worried about being the center of attention simply because everyone knows you haven't tried an alcohol beverage and just wants to tease you for it?

If it's the former, then simply hold your ground and respectfully decline.

But if it's the latter and you don't really have any real objection to alcohol one way or another, maybe you can go out and just simply buy yourself a can of beer from your nearby 7-11 and taste it for yourself in the privacy of your own home. Take your first sip and get your first reaction to tasting alcohol out of the way. At the same time, get used to the taste and decide just how bad or good it tastes for you. To a certain extent, beer is like coffee in that it doesn't taste that great the first time around and it ultimately has to become a sort of acquired taste. Just like there are different types of coffees, there are different types of alcoholic beverages. So with that in mind, just concede to the fact that beer won't taste great to you that first time but don't necessarily discount it altogether.

In any event, I suggest that maybe you try drinking an alcoholic beverage on your own in a non-social situation just so that you can get it out of the way - and also so that you know for sure how you really feel about it. In doing so, you can use your little 'experimental experience' to help you diffuse a future social situation should the occasion arise - by simply (and truthfully) saying that you've already tried drinking alcohol before and you don't like it .... or, you can accept drinking your seemingly "first" beer in front of everybody .... and yet not give them the satisfaction of seeing you react badly to it - because after all, you already know how it tastes.
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#4463 User is offline   JDM6 

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Posted 20 December 2008 - 07:55 PM

QUOTE (toxic-apple @ Dec 20 2008, 01:55 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
hi everyone, I need help! Since I'm still young and a loser, I need your advice on how to avoid being pressure into drinking?

My friend invited me to her friend Christmas Party, since I'm a nice girl, I have never drink any alcoholic beverage before.

I don't want to be the center of attention or a party pooper by my reaction to alcohol, so what do I do now?

Should I just hold the beer can and has apple juice fake it instead? What can I do? and I saw my friend pressured by her friend to drink before. So help please. Thanks


Or you can say, "No thanks. I'm driving tonight."
There's no rejection or failure, only feedback and outcome.
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#4464 User is offline   chocolatesmisu 

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Post icon  Posted 21 December 2008 - 03:34 AM

First off, I realize that this post might be more appropriate in the love & relationships section but I would like to have input from people my age concerning this issue rather than 14 year-olds giving me advice regardless of how much more they know or have experienced than 21 year-old barely-know-nothing me.

I am currently head over heels in the process of falling in love with a male friend of mine. We met when I was extremely upset over something someone had said to me. He approached me, as a total stranger, and asked me if I was ok. That one act of kindness left a deep impression upon me. We slowly became friends but at that time it was just platonic. We cracked jokes and made fun of one another all the time (basically he treated me as if I was just one of the guys).
Somewhere along the way we both disappeared from each others' lives for about two to three months. The next time we 'bumped' into each other though our relationship became different. We started flirting a lot and he started to apologize over teasing me in the past. The next thing I knew we were talking non-stop (seemingly all the time as my sister puts it). It's been nearly a year since we've met and since we've 're-kindled' our friendship he's told me that he has fallen in love with me and wants us to be an official couple. We tell each other everything..and here is where the problem began.
I have a major trust issue and I'm afraid of getting hurt so I've held off saying yes to him (even though we'd only be gf/bf). In an effort to trust each other and learn more about each other, one of the things he shared with me was his past relationships (as in sexual stuff as well). I don't know why but after that talk I sat there thinking over it and I began to grow afraid that he might compare me to his exes in some way. I have relatively no experience with relationships (sexual or otherwise) whereas he's been experienced since he was a teen (not to say that he has had tons of partners, just a couple).
For whatever reason I started to cry when I thought about his ex-girlfriends and what they shared with him (emotionally, physically, etc.). He still keeps in contact with them even though he says they are a pain in his rear-end. I don't think of him any differently. I think I love him even more for being able to be so frank and open with me but here I am wide awake at 6 AM still thinking about it. I know I'm being insecure. We just spoke for about an hour about this and he kept reassuring that he loves me and that he only wants me. Right now I just feel really lost and wanted an opinion from someone my age or at least older. I thought I knew what love was before but this is, without a doubt, the first time I feel so strongly for someone.
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#4465 User is offline   HERMIT 

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 05:48 AM

The funny thing about trust and insecurities is that the only way to really conquer them is to respectively give in to them and let them go. Until you do, you will never know if you can trust again or feel confident with who you are. Judging from just the information that you could provide us about this fellow, he seems nice enough for you to explore that risk. After all, he's seemingly been about as open about himself and his past, as well as been pretty communicative and understanding with you about such matters. When you think about it, those are two of the most proactive qualities you could ever hope for in a prospective partner. Not very many people are as lucky to be able to potentially begin a relationship with that already in tow. Generally, when you think about it, many relationships have been forged with far less and with obviously more uncertainty.
So with that all said, I think you should really go for it - as you've already gotten about as positive a head start as you can get: the openness and two-way communication are already there - and those are about two of the most basic building blocks in a relationship that not only help establish but also solidify trust. Just realize that he has fallen for you now. If it was truly a comparison between you and his exes, then still - he has chosen you and not gone back to them. In the end, your only real 'competition' is you.
Once more into the buffet
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#4466 User is offline   derrek 

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 05:58 AM

I agree. Also, relationships generally are filled with wonderful little emotional jousting matches like this. It's something you pretty much have to accept as a challenge and work through to make a healthy relationship. You seem like a bright person, so I have no doubt that you will be fine!
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#4467 User is offline   questions987 

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 07:56 AM

Would you rather:

Stay with someone that makes you feel and show actual emotions, and makes you happy but also makes you sad at the same time.
Or
Live a life without that person, and not really be human but rather go back to being an unattached biotch thats cold and calculating.

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#4468 User is offline   Mr Boo Boo 

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 08:35 AM

i choose c: alone and single
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#4469 User is offline   yellowfishieee 

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 08:37 AM

I could never be an ice queen/robot so I pick A. But I'm also the kind of person who can't live without that sort of passion so...
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#4470 User is offline   Prot 

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Posted 21 December 2008 - 05:39 PM

QUOTE (questions987 @ Dec 21 2008, 10:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Stay with someone that makes you feel and show actual emotions, and makes you happy but also makes you sad at the same time.

Greatest highs have greatest lows. And also, you can always tell them what makes you sad and hopefully they'll try to avoid it.
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