[SpikeyHairKid]

QUOTE(SpikeyHairKid @ Dec 9 2006, 04:17 PM)

Is there anyone that is knowledgable in this field know
and can write their own experiences or a guide on how to
talk to/pick up girls(get their #'s) that are complete strangers
without messing up(saying the wrong things) and minimizing rejection.

I do, you know what i actually wrote a term paper about how to pick up women. All field tested.

so where can i see this paper and what field tests did you do?

[[HyuNi]]

Im a dude but from what i can tell you from my past experience, they are just the same but less A.D.D and sometime they could hold a conversation.

haha that's funny.

I find it hard these days to find a girl that's close to my age and on the same maturity level. I think that's why I had a thing for older girls for a couple years.
A lot of girls my age really don't have any idea of what direction they are heading or what they want to do in the future.

-John

[Laxntiga]

I do, you know what i actually wrote a term paper about how to pick up women. All field tested.

nope it doesn't, if you think about it. Good looking girls get hit on 3 times a day and im being conservative. if you times that by 30 then times it by 12. Your looking at a low 1080 times a year. Imagine being told you are cute, beautiful, hot ect ect everyday, you will find it annoying. So don't tell girls they are hot or any of that stuff. It doesn't work that way.

Just ask her about something she's wearing or comment on it. Make sure u eye lock and smile so she knows you're interested. Be breezy, dont make it look like you are specifically there to just hit on her. Like.... just happened to walk by and *bam eyelock, chemistry, whatever etc. Ask her for her name and maybe a number. If she asks why, tell her what u want to do, get a cup of coffee sometime, talk, get to know each other *smile and walk away with victory.

Blindboi, I wanna read your paper. PM me

[CIRee]

wow seriously everyone wants it ;D PM me your email and ill send it to you guys.

[edit]
Just to let you guys know, thats a very very short snippet of what i am allow to put on my essay. Don't want to give away all my secret now. >;D

[bellaangel012]

Question is: is it more likely that a guy will tell you honestly of a situation at hand or is it more likely he will try to cover up?

One of my coworkers believe that one of our IT guys have a thing for her, the thing is she asked me to ask him to confirm her suspicions. History of the guy in question: he just got over a relationship and most likely on the rebound/not looking for anything serious.

I asked him (we are close) and he told me that he was not interested in her in that sense of the word but if it was just sex, then yes he would. Apparently she has dissected this issue to death with other people and this other coworker of ours said to her that he really likes her who is also close to the guy in question.

So question is: who would you believe, the IT guy who said that he isnt interested in her like that or my coworker who thinks he has given her all the signals that he does?

[watcher]

Question is: is it more likely that a guy will tell you honestly of a situation at hand or is it more likely he will try to cover up?

One of my coworkers believe that one of our IT guys have a thing for her, the thing is she asked me to ask him to confirm her suspicions. History of the guy in question: he just got over a relationship and most likely on the rebound/not looking for anything serious.

I asked him (we are close) and he told me that he was not interested in her in that sense of the word but if it was just sex, then yes he would. Apparently she has dissected this issue to death with other people and this other coworker of ours said to her that he really likes her who is also close to the guy in question.

So question is: who would you believe, the IT guy who said that he isnt interested in her like that or my coworker who thinks he has given her all the signals that he does?

granted the nature of the question, i wouldnt find it surprising if he was lying about not being interested. but at the same time, if you two are close, i'd think he would be more likely to tell you the truth. and then, there's also the possibility that your coworker friend doesn't know when a guy is just being friendly or when he's actually interested.

we dont know much about the guy except his rebound status, and nothing at all about the girl who wants to know what the guy's intentions are. this seems very much like a hit or miss when answering who to trust.

i think it's up to you to figure it out. i will say one thing, guys are usually very straightforward in their actions, moreso than their words. observe him for a bit and see for yourself whether or not you think he genuinely likes her. if you are close to him as you say, you should already know some of his tendencies, and you can use that to further your conclusion.

btw... i dont thnk your girl coworker friend should hook up with him if she's thinking about it at all. office relationship + guy off a rebound = playing with fire.

[donporkuloin]

Well, I have a female friend. Let's call her Katie. Well, I ended up giving Katie some advice about her relationship with her bf. Let's just say her relationship with her bf was going way downhill. She ended breaking up with him. I never thought of her as more or less than a friend. We could always talk about stuff. She always gives me great advice about my dating woes. Like when she gives me advice, she's dead honest. She doesn't sugar coat it. Even if I don't want to hear it? She tells it to me anyways, because I need to hear it. I've been talking to since the Summer, and during the middle of the Summer I got her number. I didn't call just out of nervousness. I kept having this thought that if I called her the conversation was going to go bad, ruin the friendship, etc. I had a lot pessimisstic views on it. Towards the end of the Summer I called. I was nervous, and she knew it. What was cool was she let me know, and gave me pointers on getting over my nervousness. Over time I stopped being so nervous when I talk to her on the phone. We didn't talk for like a few months, because we were both busy with stuff. Around Thanksgiving we started back talking. Since then we talk regularly, and it's just weird. Not in a bad way. It's like when we talk or chat? We talk about things that I never really talk to most people about. It's like I'm learning a lot about her, and it's just the more I learn about her I realize something. I like her. Like the beginning of December I asked her if she wanted to exchange xmas gifts, and she said yes. She dropped enough hints for me to know she wants something hand made. I'm not the most artistic guy in the world, but I got her something that's going to be a great gift for her.

However, there are some drawbacks to this situation..

She's in another state, but next year I'm moving closer to her area. Not just because of her. The type of job I'm going to end up getting is out there. So the way things are going I'm going to have to relocate to that area sooner or later.

She's younger than me, but she has a mature and down to earth mindset that I don't find in a lot of women/girls these days.

My question is should I tell her how I feel or leave it be?

[CIRee]

Well, I have a female friend. Let's call her Katie. Well, I ended up giving Katie some advice about her relationship with her bf. Let's just say her relationship with her bf was going way downhill. She ended breaking up with him. I never thought of her as more or less than a friend. We could always talk about stuff. She always gives me great advice about my dating woes. Like when she gives me advice, she's dead honest. She doesn't sugar coat it. Even if I don't want to hear it? She tells it to me anyways, because I need to hear it. I've been talking to since the Summer, and during the middle of the Summer I got her number. I didn't call just out of nervousness. I kept having this thought that if I called her the conversation was going to go bad, ruin the friendship, etc. I had a lot pessimisstic views on it. Towards the end of the Summer I called. I was nervous, and she knew it. What was cool was she let me know, and gave me pointers on getting over my nervousness. Over time I stopped being so nervous when I talk to her on the phone. We didn't talk for like a few months, because we were both busy with stuff. Around Thanksgiving we started back talking. Since then we talk regularly, and it's just weird. Not in a bad way. It's like when we talk or chat? We talk about things that I never really talk to most people about. It's like I'm learning a lot about her, and it's just the more I learn about her I realize something. I like her. Like the beginning of December I asked her if she wanted to exchange xmas gifts, and she said yes. She dropped enough hints for me to know she wants something hand made. I'm not the most artistic guy in the world, but I got her something that's going to be a great gift for her.

However, there are some drawbacks to this situation..

She's in another state, but next year I'm moving closer to her area. Not just because of her. The type of job I'm going to end up getting is out there. So the way things are going I'm going to have to relocate to that area sooner or later.

She's younger than me, but she has a mature and down to earth mindset that I don't find in a lot of women/girls these days.

My question is should I tell her how I feel or leave it be?

dont tell her how you feel, those only work in high school or teenybopper movies. Instead of telling her, show her. Give her some indicator of interest. But my guess is you are stuck in "friend zone" which is almost impossible to get out of.

why is it so hard to put theory into words >;D

[Laxntiga]

Great advice from blindboi. All I could add is, just keep in tabs and when you are there, call her and tell her you are in the area and you wanted to take her out for lunch if she's free. If not, maybe a drink some time.

When talking on the phone start trying to get to know her deeper and tell her you are really comfortable with her and it feels like you knew each other for the longest time. This should help her open up and maybe get you a date.

[CIRee]

Great advice from blindboi. All I could add is, just keep in tabs and when you are there, call her and tell her you are in the area and you wanted to take her out for lunch if she's free. If not, maybe a drink some time.

When talking on the phone start trying to get to know her deeper and tell her you are really comfortable with her and it feels like you knew each other for the longest time. This should help her open up and maybe get you a date.

Well for phone conversation, i usually start with something that would hook them
example:
Guess what!!! I saw/did the coolest thing to day...
you can take that anywhere. After I ask her what she doing today/tomorrow and if she not doing anything, i would tell her I am going to [a place you usually would go to] IKEA(for me ;D since i can role-play with her >;D) tell her she can tag along if she wants or you need a 2nd opinion on something. My IKEA date always works >;D

[Laxntiga]

Well for phone conversation, i usually start with something that would hook them
example:
Guess what!!! I saw/did the coolest thing to day...
you can take that anywhere. After I ask her what she doing today/tomorrow and if she not doing anything, i would tell her I am going to [a place you usually would go to] IKEA(for me ;D since i can role-play with her >;D) tell her she can tag along if she wants or you need a 2nd opinion on something. My IKEA date always works >;D

HAHA dude! My sisters always go to IKEA when they are bored! HEY! wait a min................ lol jk.

When you want her opinion, what do you ask her? Something fashion related? Cooking(although I dont know many girls that cook these days, tsk tsk tsk)? I have trouble thinking of random fluff to talk about too. Some girls are talkers and some are ------------------ (thats a flat line).

[CIRee]

HAHA dude! My sisters always go to IKEA when they are bored! HEY! wait a min................ lol jk.

When you want her opinion, what do you ask her? Something fashion related? Cooking(although I dont know many girls that cook these days, tsk tsk tsk)? I have trouble thinking of random fluff to talk about too. Some girls are talkers and some are ------------------ (thats a flat line).

Well relationship/drama type question, did you know that soompi L\R section can give you good topics to talk about >;D well my current one i use is the "is phone sex cheating" hehe. If you have trouble having things to talk about, make a little cheat sheet. make list of things to talk about. when it goes silent put your finger up (like asking for 1) and tell her wait. Pull out the small paper list look at it and continue talking, it looks funny to her and you have a list of things to talk about when you pull it out.

[donporkuloin]

dont tell her how you feel, those only work in high school or teenybopper movies. Instead of telling her, show her. Give her some indicator of interest. But my guess is you are stuck in "friend zone" which is almost impossible to get out of.

why is it so hard to put theory into words >;D

I think that is some good advice. Funny thing to me is if this were someonele'se situation I would've said something similar. Well, ok.. this where I'm confused at. How can I show her she's special? Indicator of interest.. How do I go about doing that? I can't say for sure if I'm stuck in the "friend zone." I say that because we never defined what we have?

[Laxntiga]

I think that is some good advice. Funny thing to me is if this were someonele'se situation I would've said something similar. Well, ok.. this where I'm confused at. How can I show her she's special? I can't say for sure if I'm stuck in the "friend zone." I say that because we never defined what we have?

Friends zone or not, it doesnt matter. You will plow through her defenses and make her yours. You dont want to make her think she's something special to you, UNTILL she wants you to(you will know). Just keep tabs on her, like call maybe once a week or so. You really cant do anything until you get there. You can throw in relationship talk and maybe she'll start thinking in that direction, not necessarily with you but she will probably think about it. You can hint it to her with, "so what kind of things do you look for in a relationship? What kind of man do you see yourself with? Why? What features do you look for in a man?" blah blah blah. Dont ask if she has a bf until you guys meet up and YOU are happy with her. Make her work for it, ask good interesting home-hitting questions, make her dig for answers. Dont talk about yourself, keep her in the dark on your side so when you get there she wants to know all about you.

[donporkuloin]

Friends zone or not, it doesnt matter. You will plow through her defenses and make her yours. You dont want to make her think she's something special to you, UNTILL she wants you to(you will know). Just keep tabs on her, like call maybe once a week or so. You really cant do anything until you get there. You can throw in relationship talk and maybe she'll start thinking in that direction, not necessarily with you but she will probably think about it. You can hint it to her with, "so what kind of things do you look for in a relationship? What kind of man do you see yourself with? Why? What features do you look for in a man?" blah blah blah. Dont ask if she has a bf until you guys meet up and YOU are happy with her. Make her work for it, ask good interesting home-hitting questions, make her dig for answers. Dont talk about yourself, keep her in the dark on your side so when you get there she wants to know all about you.

"Katie" and I have talked about those questions already. We both ask questions about each other. Ironically it's not a one sided thing. I've never really asked if she has a bf or not, because she always tells me about that type of stuff. I don't tell her everything about me. I do keep certain stuff mysterious, etc. Keep tabs on her. That's stalkerish imo.. No need for that.

[CIRee]

"Katie" and I have talked about those questions already. We both ask questions about each other. Ironically it's not a one sided thing. I've never really asked if she has a bf or not, because she always tells me about that type of stuff. I don't tell her everything about me. I do keep certain stuff mysterious, etc. Keep tabs on her. That's stalkerish imo.. No need for that.

dude when you talk to her and she say something naught, just say these exact words if you want to know if he as a bf or not "i dont know who your bf but he not spanking you enought..." ;D

[donporkuloin]

dude when you talk to her and she say something naught, just say these exact words if you want to know if he as a bf or not "i dont know who your bf but he not spanking you enought..." ;D

I already know she doesn't have a bf.. She's pretty much single. After reading this my posts and responses to this, I know what I'm going to do now.

[watcher]

i think if you're close enough with each other, and you really want to get across to her, you just have to tell her. at a certain point, she's gonna take your advances as acts of kindness as a friend and nothing more. and if you really go out of your way to make your feelings known, you'd find yourself thinking you might as well have told her, because by then, your actions would be too obvious.

take your time, and see how else you can win her over, but just tell her if the process is too long...

[PaNgIeE]

I need a love and a relationship by new year's eve. Any willing souls out there? LOL!

[Korowa]

a the dreaded "friend" zone.

But hell I wouldn't even mind having a female companion.

I have one hell of a question for anyone.

Anyhow, I used to be able to communicate with girls during my high school years with no problem. However, once I got into college, all of them suddenly dissapeared without a notice and I found myself unable to form friendships with new girls.

So I'm generally assuming that I'm really rusty in approaching girls / women. Any suggestions?