[Majah Flavah]

a- i don't think so, she's only had one bf. and i found out awhile after i liked her that about a dozen other guys did too.
b- i don't think so either, of course i hope this is true, but my intuition says no.
c- i hope she's not. and i seriously think she's not.

she's not shifty at all. she's definitely not stuck up. she's a nice girl yet everyone even i call her mean, it's somewhat true but not, i don't know how to explain it. i feel like she's playing me, but i don't think she means to. i don't know if that means she's flirty, but i don't think so. i seriously don't know, that's why i don't know why i like her so much. so yeah, i don't want to do anything right now. i don't know. i'm confused.

you're in a position in pre-relationship world called the LOWER HAND. your lack of confidence corresponds directly to your over-analysis of a girl's every statement towards you. she has what you call the UPPER HAND. someone in your position never gets the girl, so change the way you act or react towards her for more favorable results in the future. doesn't it destroy your pride to sit there thinking about her when it's very possible that she might not be doing the same? go with the flow; don't swim against the current.

[BloodPrincessShiroto]

Do girls have back up boyfriends just in case the ones they are with, breaks?.. back up meaning, the treat them like boyfriends, but actually TELL them.

I know I do that with WORKING. I have back up WORK, whichever if one breaks, then I go w/ the other one.

is that with girls?.. or some guys like that?

I think it just depends on the person, I would never do that because it's basically like cheating or two timing you have 2 boyfriends/girlfriends at once, but only one is offical the other is unoffical. What happens if the unoffical boyfriend/girlfriend falls in love with someone else and the person your dating finds out about the other person you're screwed since you lost both people.

I have a friend who's like that she's engaged, but she still sees her ex-boyfriend when her fiance isn't around, yet she claims to hate her ex and doesn't want anything to do with him.

[Korowa]

you're in a position in pre-relationship world called the LOWER HAND. your lack of confidence corresponds directly to your over-analysis of a girl's every statement towards you. she has what you call the UPPER HAND. someone in your position never gets the girl, so change the way you act or react towards her for more favorable results in the future. doesn't it destroy your pride to sit there thinking about her when it's very possible that she might not be doing the same? go with the flow; don't swim against the current.

Words of Wisdom!

I Should follow them, but I don't.

[hangook/korea]

you're in a position in pre-relationship world called the LOWER HAND. your lack of confidence corresponds directly to your over-analysis of a girl's every statement towards you. she has what you call the UPPER HAND. someone in your position never gets the girl, so change the way you act or react towards her for more favorable results in the future. doesn't it destroy your pride to sit there thinking about her when it's very possible that she might not be doing the same? go with the flow; don't swim against the current.

I would have agreed with that a few years ago.

It really depends what you want from this girl. If you want to use her, then yeah- you're at a disadvantage. But if you like her and just want to be with her, then there should be no upper or lower hand. I don't think there should be games or power plays. If you have to get all Machiavelli to get a girl to like you, then she probably doesn't like you and things won't work out. I don't care if I lose the upper hand and don't get the girl. I just want to be happy and not have the relationship be like Survivor- where you make backdoor deals, alliances, blackmail to get what you want. I want to be able to call her and not worry if this is showing a sign of weakness and maybe I better hold back.

And pride, well that can get you in a lot of trouble. Sometimes you gotta let that go for the best outcome.

[incyphe]

you're in a position in pre-relationship world called the LOWER HAND. your lack of confidence corresponds directly to your over-analysis of a girl's every statement towards you. she has what you call the UPPER HAND. someone in your position never gets the girl, so change the way you act or react towards her for more favorable results in the future. doesn't it destroy your pride to sit there thinking about her when it's very possible that she might not be doing the same? go with the flow; don't swim against the current.

You said in another thread...
http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?sho...2496&st=60#

i asked the girl out on a date, and got a positive response. we went on the date, and then clubbing later that week, and now i think everything just kind of fell off.i never have a problem getting dates, but personally it's hard to keep the girl interested for more than a week. my luck with girls isn't stellar to say the least, ugh.

Maybe you're using your upperhand technique to attract the wrong kinds of girls you wouldn't have gotten had you not used the technique and just be yourself?

[709394]

I've been confused lately.
Theres a guy that I sorta like...or, infactuated with. His name is Mr. O.
Well...Mr. O I kinda liked from the moment I saw him. Unfortunately, I rarely bump into Mr. O here in this "dorm"...

Then theres my friend, X. X...he is the cutest guy ever...nice, sincere, sweet, "innocent," but somehow...hes just not very "manly." He exudes the characteristics of an innocent child and is just so darn cute...physically, he is attractive to me. But he just doesn't feel like a "guy."

So...X knows that I like Mr.O and has even been helping me get close to him...
until a few days ago, the tables kind of turned, and I felt like X is starting to like me.
I feel completely confused why he would help me so much, knowing that I am infactuated with Mr.O...but I can definetely sense him starting to flirt with me...which is weird because,although I've known him for half a year, we recently began hanging out, and he very recently began showing interest...

What do I feel?
I feel so confused. On one hand, I feel that my infactuation with Mr.O is starting to dissipiate and I'm thinking more and more about X, but at the same time, I dont know if I can ever see X as more than a friend because...hes just...not like a guy to me...!

[lilyphenix]

What do I feel?
I feel so confused. On one hand, I feel that my infactuation with Mr.O is starting to dissipiate and I'm thinking more and more about X, but at the same time, I dont know if I can ever see X as more than a friend because...hes just...not like a guy to me...!

Maybe you just have a vision of "guys" (or what a guy should be) that is too restrictive?
He is a guy, so hum, what do you mean he doesn't look like a guy to you? Is he girly in his manners or something? I just don't understand. Let's say you allow your feelings for him to grow; will you feel ashamed to be seen with him in public?

Well if you feel that confused, what about you talked flatly with him about that (your confusion. he is a friend, he will understand) and you see where you go from there; and you also take care of your unfinished business with Mr. O. Take a decision, either you continue to like him from distance, waiting from the right moment to "bump" into him and finally talk to him (at that pacem from waht you described, it can take years) or you manage to "see" him and ask for a cup of coffee or something...

My two cents (but that can help clear up the confusion a bit)

[Majah Flavah]

You said in another thread...
http://www.soompi.com/forums/index.php?sho...2496&st=60#
Maybe you're using your upperhand technique to attract the wrong kinds of girls you wouldn't have gotten had you not used the technique and just be yourself?

incyphe, believe me. i definitely attract the wrong type of girls. those are the ones i can stay in a relationship with the longest. the post from the other thread is referring to the kind of girls that any guy would be lucky to have, whether your 16 years old or 50 years old.

[CIRee]

damn I miss so much. I dont feel like reading the pass post. New topic yes? lol

[lilyphenix]

damn I miss so much. I dont feel like reading the pass post. New topic yes? lol

Well you can always reply to Philip. He wonders if girls.guys have backup bf or gf who comes to the rescue when they break up.

In a sentence: you break up, feel down, but just as you will have a back up in your job in case you lose or document or whatever, there comes you back up gf. You guys are actually not together, everything is clear, I don't even think that you guys do something except hugging ? Anyway, Philip can explain better. That one still got me lost lol!

Philip: it is not an easy task to apply a scientific and logical reasoning to relationship. I wish things were that simple.

All I can say is none of my girlfriends (as far as I know), have someone like that in their live.

Blindboi, do you have a topic?

[CIRee]

Blindboi, do you have a topic?

haha not at the moment. I dont have any relationship problems because I don't deal with girls that like drama. like the famous saying goes "there are many fishes in the sea" ;D

[YUNA!]

Argh~ Don't know if any of you have this problem but,

I'm usually not the shy type..
Arnd guys I'm not romantically interested in, I'm the normal yuna: hyper, crazy, and....well, just, CRAZY.
BUTTTTT...
With guys that I AM interested in.... It's not that I'm QUIET, it's just that I get really nervous and fidgety..and I keep playing with my hair -___-....

This is starting to get on my nerves .. . . ><

[chairmanK]

Argh~ Don't know if any of you have this problem but,

I'm usually not the shy type..
Arnd guys I'm not romantically interested in, I'm the normal yuna: hyper, crazy, and....well, just, CRAZY.
BUTTTTT...
With guys that I AM interested in.... It's not that I'm QUIET, it's just that I get really nervous and fidgety..and I keep playing with my hair -___-....

This is starting to get on my nerves .. . . ><

Many guys think that it's cute when a woman fidgets and plays with her hair. If it doesn't bother the guy, then why should you let it bother you? Don't worry. ^-^

[Dahmanegi]

Many guys think that it's cute when a woman fidgets and plays with her hair. If it doesn't bother the guy, then why should you let it bother you? Don't worry. ^-^

Definately...

It's much more assuring to know that the other sex has its quirky faults.

[UoMDeacon]

Here's an interesting post. This is the classic example that we see far too much here on soompi, where the guy FRIEND (X) falls for the girl, but the girl really isn't that interested. Meanwhile the girl is likes another guy (Mr. O), who has shown very little interest.

It's facinating to see the female side of this.

Here's the thing, there's never a deal where you SHOULD like someone just because they are extra nice with you and all that crap. Like you said, "he just doesn't feel like a guy." If there's no spark, then why go for it? If this plays out like it normally does here on the boards, I'm sure the guy will try extra hard to be your awesomest best friend, so one day eventually you'll fall in love with him LOL. Heck, we might even see a post from him one day soon

I've been confused lately.
Theres a guy that I sorta like...or, infactuated with. His name is Mr. O.
Well...Mr. O I kinda liked from the moment I saw him. Unfortunately, I rarely bump into Mr. O here in this "dorm"...

Then theres my friend, X. X...he is the cutest guy ever...nice, sincere, sweet, "innocent," but somehow...hes just not very "manly." He exudes the characteristics of an innocent child and is just so darn cute...physically, he is attractive to me. But he just doesn't feel like a "guy."

So...X knows that I like Mr.O and has even been helping me get close to him...
until a few days ago, the tables kind of turned, and I felt like X is starting to like me.
I feel completely confused why he would help me so much, knowing that I am infactuated with Mr.O...but I can definetely sense him starting to flirt with me...which is weird because,although I've known him for half a year, we recently began hanging out, and he very recently began showing interest...

What do I feel?
I feel so confused. On one hand, I feel that my infactuation with Mr.O is starting to dissipiate and I'm thinking more and more about X, but at the same time, I dont know if I can ever see X as more than a friend because...hes just...not like a guy to me...!

[papabear]

I've been confused lately.
Theres a guy that I sorta like...or, infactuated with. His name is Mr. O.
Well...Mr. O I kinda liked from the moment I saw him. Unfortunately, I rarely bump into Mr. O here in this "dorm"...

Then theres my friend, X. X...he is the cutest guy ever...nice, sincere, sweet, "innocent," but somehow...hes just not very "manly." He exudes the characteristics of an innocent child and is just so darn cute...physically, he is attractive to me. But he just doesn't feel like a "guy."

So...X knows that I like Mr.O and has even been helping me get close to him...
until a few days ago, the tables kind of turned, and I felt like X is starting to like me.
I feel completely confused why he would help me so much, knowing that I am infactuated with Mr.O...but I can definetely sense him starting to flirt with me...which is weird because,although I've known him for half a year, we recently began hanging out, and he very recently began showing interest...

What do I feel?
I feel so confused. On one hand, I feel that my infactuation with Mr.O is starting to dissipiate and I'm thinking more and more about X, but at the same time, I dont know if I can ever see X as more than a friend because...hes just...not like a guy to me...!

Hrm, not manly--well, I would look at this more carefully, and see if it is a real character flaw or problem with maturity, or if it's just that he's different from the guys you normally like.

Feelings come and go--the first thing you should be looking at is compatability, and the potential friendship. One would be surprised at how feelings can develop once there is genuine respect and care for the other person. The question is whether one can get over the mental obstacle(s) to reach that point. Often that doesn't happen, since in the practical realm, changing one's perspective is dependent upon changing one's desires.

[incyphe]

Feelings come and go--the first thing you should be looking at is compatability, and the potential friendship. One would be surprised at how feelings can develop once there is genuine respect and care for the other person. The question is whether one can get over the mental obstacle(s) to reach that point. Often that doesn't happen, since in the practical realm, changing one's perspective is dependent upon changing one's desires.

Hey I think eHarmony is hiring.


haha j/k

[donporkuloin]

So a few weeks ago I met this girl. By first impressions I thought the girl was weird, because of the look she had on her face. I see her on a daily basis these days, and for name's sake let's just call her Amanda. There are some days I have to type some stuff out. Every now and then I catch her just staring at me, or what I'm typing. Recently, I was sitting down talking to a female friend (Let's call her Ann) about my luck with dating. Then what befuddled me was Ann was saying how Amanda and I make such a good couple, etc. Just as we were talking about it Amanda came up, and I ran off to go play some pool. Just when I thought I was safe Ann and one of my other friends talked Amanda into playing a team game of pool. So as we were playing Amanda and I were on teams. We were waiting for one of our turns. We were sitting together, she grabbed my keychain necklace out of my pocket from my pants pocket, hung it around my neck, and started smiling. Eventually I asked her if she liked Air Hockey? She said yes, and we ended up going to play Air Hockey for an hour or so. During the time she was playing this guy. He was pretty much beating her, and she asked me to fake an argument with her which was pretty funny. I say that, because most of the people around us probably thought we were arguing for real. Lol. Recently I asked her if she wanted to go out to eat one day? At first, I wasn't going to ask her, but I did. She said we would pick a random day, and just go. She seemed happy when I asked her. One catch though. She said we should invite some friends. I don't have a major problem with that. Like I don't wanna make her uncomfortable. It's just that we have a mutual friend. Let's just call him Greg. He's a gay guy, but I have nothing against him. Good guy, etc. It's just that pretty much all of my female friends that know him flock to him like mindless drones. Amanda does it too. Honestly it irks me. I know when she said we should invite some friends. More specifically she meant Greg. I know if he were to come? I would be pretty much be treated like I'm not even there. So I've been thinking when the time comes should I tell her what's on my mind, or just not say anything, and go with the flow?

[papabear]

^Are you interested in her? Maybe she's more comfortable with group dating as a preliminary step, so if you are interested, then go along with it and try to have a good time.

[knickstorm]

So a few weeks ago I met this girl. By first impressions I thought the girl was weird, because of the look she had on her face. I see her on a daily basis these days, and for name's sake let's just call her Amanda. There are some days I have to type some stuff out. Every now and then I catch her just staring at me, or what I'm typing. Recently, I was sitting down talking to a female friend (Let's call her Ann) about my luck with dating. Then what befuddled me was Ann was saying how Amanda and I make such a good couple, etc. Just as we were talking about it Amanda came up, and I ran off to go play some pool. Just when I thought I was safe Ann and one of my other friends talked Amanda into playing a team game of pool. So as we were playing Amanda and I were on teams. We were waiting for one of our turns. We were sitting together, she grabbed my keychain necklace out of my pocket from my pants pocket, hung it around my neck, and started smiling. Eventually I asked her if she liked Air Hockey? She said yes, and we ended up going to play Air Hockey for an hour or so. During the time she was playing this guy. He was pretty much beating her, and she asked me to fake an argument with her which was pretty funny. I say that, because most of the people around us probably thought we were arguing for real. Lol. Recently I asked her if she wanted to go out to eat one day? At first, I wasn't going to ask her, but I did. She said we would pick a random day, and just go. She seemed happy when I asked her. One catch though. She said we should invite some friends. I don't have a major problem with that. Like I don't wanna make her uncomfortable. It's just that we have a mutual friend. Let's just call him Greg. He's a gay guy, but I have nothing against him. Good guy, etc. It's just that pretty much all of my female friends that know him flock to him like mindless drones. Amanda does it too. Honestly it irks me. I know when she said we should invite some friends. More specifically she meant Greg. I know if he were to come? I would be pretty much be treated like I'm not even there. So I've been thinking when the time comes should I tell her what's on my mind, or just not say anything, and go with the flow?

hahah all girls want a gay guy best friend........anyway back on topic, i'd say make your intentions clear. That way you're both onthe same page, and you dont ahve to keep wondering....