[JF21©]

My 21st birthday is coming up in a few months. One of my roommate's 22nd birthday is a week after. One of my close friend's 21st birthday is three weeks after mine. My roommate has been constantly saying that we'll celebrate our birthdays together. My birthday is on the Monday AFTER spring break, so it's the first day of class for most UC students. His birthday is the next Monday, and he said the roommates will just drink a little together on my birthday and on Friday we would have a small party at our place and he would go home the weekend after to have dinner with his friends. I agreed to this when he said it and didn't really think much of it.

On Friday night I went out with some friends for another friend's 21st birthday. We did what we usually do for birthdays, dinner and hanging out afterwards. I always thought that I would have dinner with my friends for my birthday and have the party at my place afterwards with my roommates, but then during dinner my friend who has a birthday three weeks after mine suggested that we celebrate our birthdays together. I told him that I already told my roommate that I'd celebrate my birthday and have a party at our place with him. My friend jokingly said "Screw him." and laughed after.

I've known my roommate since I moved in, which was late August 2006. I've known my friend since highschool and we're pretty close. The thing is, I already agreed to celebrate with my roommate. I've noticed that my two other roommates don't have many friends and whenever they try to have kickbacks, most of their few friends bone out and it usually ends up being around only 6-7 people including the four of us, and the people that do come practically live here anyways since they come over so much. My roommate who has the birthday won't invite his friends back home to the party since he lives a bit far. So if I end up celebrating on another day with my friend instead, I won't be inviting my friends over for the Friday party either and it'll end up being a bust like the usual kickbacks again.

I know I could suggest that we could have a party for all three of us at once, but I think it'll go bad. Since my roommate with the birthday goes home almost, if not every weekend, therefore if we have a party, it has to be on a Friday night when its not a school night, so it would mean the only day we could celebrate was the Friday after my birthday and before his birthday, which would end up being over two weeks before my friend's birthday. I kind of find it awkward to celebrate our birthdays together when it's three weeks apart, but he's a close friend so it would be fun.

The other problem is if we celebrate three birthdays we won't have a place for the party. My place could maybe have around 30-40 people and that would be pushing it. My friend's place is a lot bigger, but the people who live under him constantly complain about footstep noise, let alone a most likely 50ish person party. None of us will allow our houses to be used for a party. We probably won't be able to find anyone to lend us their place for the party either since we've had friends throw big parties that have ended up with messed up houses or idiots and wangsters getting in.

The other thing is, I already boned out on my roommates during the Superbowl and went with my friends to their place to watch it instead of watching it with my roommates and a few other guys. So I don't want to feel like a dick again, but to support my case, no one could say no to watching the Superbowl in a theatre room in recliners.

So...I don't know who to celebrate with. I want to celebrate with both though since I don't want to disappoint either, but I really don't see how we would do that.

i don't see what the big deal is...either celebrate all of the parties in one UBER birthday party on a day that's mid way between everybody's birthday(meet up at a bar/club and do it to it), or have two parties....why you gotta be all girly and indecisive about it..it's not that complicated.

[Petite_Mal]

On Friday night I went out with some friends for another friend's 21st birthday. We did what we usually do for birthdays, dinner and hanging out afterwards. I always thought that I would have dinner with my friends for my birthday and have the party at my place afterwards with my roommates, but then during dinner my friend who has a birthday three weeks after mine suggested that we celebrate our birthdays together. I told him that I already told my roommate that I'd celebrate my birthday and have a party at our place with him. My friend jokingly said "Screw him." and laughed after.

So...I don't know who to celebrate with. I want to celebrate with both though since I don't want to disappoint either, but I really don't see how we would do that.

Well... why not have a bunch of little celebrations, and then a big party for all three later on?

Hitting 21 is kind of a milestone. Even if you aren't a big drinker, I think it'd be much more fun for you and your roommate/other legal friends to go out to a bar on Monday morning at 12:00 AM (even if it's only for one beer since you mentioned it's a school night) to celebrate your newly acquired legal status. Three weeks later, you can do the same with your other friend and somewhere between then or after, you all can have a joint party.

I know you said your place won't hold that many people and the friend with the bigger place has irritable neighbors, but there are a couple of solutions to that. One, you could just limit the number of people that come. I've been to a lot pf parties where a housemate takes turns sitting on the porch and turns away unsavory people. They sit with a beer and a couple of friends to keep them company. You could also have an "admittance fee" of a minimum of a six pack per person to come inside. A lot of people are pretty cheap, so this is a good way to filter the random party goers from people who care enough about your party to bring something, PLUS fewer people + more alcohol = much more fun than lots of people + little alcohol. The other option is that your friend with the larger house could notify his neighbors very politely in person or in a note that he plans on throwing a 21st birthday celebration on a certain date and "ask" if they have issue with the time. I think the neighbors are less likely to be upset if they feel as though they have some part or say in it. They can make plans to go out themselves, or feel better about the noise because they know it's not just a bunch of wild kids throwing a random party. They'll have had warning, and they will know it's for an important occasion.

[Laxntiga]

What are you thoughts about these?

Girls playing hard to get
Girls playing hard to never get
playing hard to get is alright, if the girl is interested but testing the guy.. BUT if they play pretending they are interested, and in the end, just wasting the guys' money,time, energy, then that guy just wasted it all.
the whole game is alright if the players will actually have something to give in the end.

Girls always play hard to get. If they didn't, why would a guy bother? We play the game for the fun of the chase. The whole pursing and competition is what we are all about.

Girls who play hard to never get..... no such thing, she is just waiting to be opened up. She is waiting for the perfect man, she will have lots of little tests and a big big big b*tch shield you will have to etch away at with persistence, time, energy, and thought.

Men dont give "in". We take what is rightfully ours. A lion doesn't ask for it's dinner, he TAKES it (Just watched Scoundrels, funny movie). If you dont first succeed, try again. Find out what works and what doesn't, trial and error my friend. Yes, you have to put in effort, time, and money (time = money or atleast opportunity cost). You could go to the park or go for a cup of coffee, which isn't too expensive if your a penny pincher, but its not about showing off how much money you have, who you know, what kind of car you drive, how smart you are etc. etc. It's about enjoying each other's company and getting to know each other better. If you dont find her attractive or she doesnt find you attractive...... just wipe that thought of boning her and just enjoy each others companies as friends, who knows maybe she has a hot friend she can introduce you to. Sorry I got off topic, but once again there is no girl that is "playin hard to never get". WAIT! There might be... I think these type of women are called.............. are nuns, but then again, I dont think they are "playing" hahahaha.

[thealmightyGOD]

Well... why not have a bunch of little celebrations, and then a big party for all three later on?

Hitting 21 is kind of a milestone. Even if you aren't a big drinker, I think it'd be much more fun for you and your roommate/other legal friends to go out to a bar on Monday morning at 12:00 AM (even if it's only for one beer since you mentioned it's a school night) to celebrate your newly acquired legal status. Three weeks later, you can do the same with your other friend and somewhere between then or after, you all can have a joint party.

I know you said your place won't hold that many people and the friend with the bigger place has irritable neighbors, but there are a couple of solutions to that. One, you could just limit the number of people that come. I've been to a lot pf parties where a housemate takes turns sitting on the porch and turns away unsavory people. They sit with a beer and a couple of friends to keep them company. You could also have an "admittance fee" of a minimum of a six pack per person to come inside. A lot of people are pretty cheap, so this is a good way to filter the random party goers from people who care enough about your party to bring something, PLUS fewer people + more alcohol = much more fun than lots of people + little alcohol. The other option is that your friend with the larger house could notify his neighbors very politely in person or in a note that he plans on throwing a 21st birthday celebration on a certain date and "ask" if they have issue with the time. I think the neighbors are less likely to be upset if they feel as though they have some part or say in it. They can make plans to go out themselves, or feel better about the noise because they know it's not just a bunch of wild kids throwing a random party. They'll have had warning, and they will know it's for an important occasion.

The last party I went to was a birthday for three people and two of them were my friends. The guestlist was suppose to be around 100 people but it went over and in the end no one guarded the entrance and it ended up being 200 people or so. The problem with leaving someone to guard the entrance is that in the end most of the people that come usually know one of the birthday guys anyways, unless they were brought along by a friend so they would gain entrance anyways. I don't think we'll have too much of a problem with limiting the number of people we invite though. I'm just pretty sure the number we invite will still end up being too much for my place. Just between my friend and me, our "clique" since highschool numbers around the 20s, so with a few moderately close acquaintances, the friends we've made individually, and my roommates and their friends, we'll probably number around 50s, so my place is out of the question. I would really like it too if we could have the party at my friend's place since it's pretty spacious and they don't have much furniture. The asking the neighbors thing sounds like a good idea so I'll ask my friend if he wants to try that out. Hopefully it works. [crosses fingers] thanks for the idea.

[hangook/korea]

Girls always play hard to get. If they didn't, why would a guy bother? We play the game for the fun of the chase. The whole pursing and competition is what we are all about.

Girls who play hard to never get..... no such thing, she is just waiting to be opened up. She is waiting for the perfect man, she will have lots of little tests and a big big big b*tch shield you will have to etch away at with persistence, time, energy, and thought.

I hate it when you put in all this time and effort to win the girl over and you're so close to starting something and then she meets that one guy that undoes all your work in a matter of minutes. Flash over substance- it always wins in the short-term. And that's all you need to disrupt a relationship, esp. one that just started.

[papabear]

And one didn't have a suspicion beforehand that she might be a bit shallow and immature?

I hate it when you put in all this time and effort to win the girl over and you're so close to starting something and then she meets that one guy that undoes all your work in a matter of minutes. Flash over substance- it always wins in the short-term. And that's all you need to disrupt a relationship, esp. one that just started.

[aquapoppie]

So...
I don't know if it's just me, but in what universe is it okay to ask your ex to buy you something that you will give to your date (someone else) on valentine's day? (we've broke up this january)

I mean, we're cool and all, but no matter how you're cool with your ex, isn't there a limit to what you can and cannot do for each other?
I get along fine with the guy, and all of a sudden he would say incredibly insensitive things that makes me wonder if he has no sense of propriety at all.

Are guys really this clueless?

[Laxntiga]

I hate it when you put in all this time and effort to win the girl over and you're so close to starting something and then she meets that one guy that undoes all your work in a matter of minutes. Flash over substance- it always wins in the short-term. And that's all you need to disrupt a relationship, esp. one that just started.

Why are you trying to win the girl over? Shouldn't she be trying to win you? ;D

[chairmanK]

So...
I don't know if it's just me, but in what universe is it okay to ask your ex to buy you something that you will give to your date (someone else) on valentine's day? (we've broke up this january)

I mean, we're cool and all, but no matter how you're cool with your ex, isn't there a limit to what you can and cannot do for each other?
I get along fine with the guy, and all of a sudden he would say incredibly insensitive things that makes me wonder if he has no sense of propriety at all.

Are guys really this clueless?

Is your ex simply "cool and all" with you, or does he think of you as a close friend? Maybe he thinks that he can trust you like one of his guy friends, as if the relationship never happened. If you can't handle being close like that, then you should tell him gently but clearly. Sometimes exes can be close friends after their breakup, and other times it simply doesn't work.

[CIRee]

I hate it when you put in all this time and effort to win the girl over and you're so close to starting something and then she meets that one guy that undoes all your work in a matter of minutes. Flash over substance- it always wins in the short-term. And that's all you need to disrupt a relationship, esp. one that just started.

no girl is worth your effort, simply put.

[hangook/korea]

Why are you trying to win the girl over? Shouldn't she be trying to win you? ;D

Girls don't do that with me- too shy or prideful to do something like that.
I wish women would be more proactive! Let me just sit back and say either, "yes" or "no"!

no girl is worth your effort, simply put.

One day... hopefully one day one girl will be worth it. But I keep on running into the girls who just lead me on. I'll let myself go on a bit if I'm not sure because I don't want all my bad experiences to ruin something that could happen. It's not fair to the other person to have to suffer because I've been burnt by somebody else. But I've developed a pretty good sense of when to go on and when walk away.

[Trungy]

no girl is worth your effort, simply put.

If you put forth no effort into a girl, then expect no effort received from a girl.

If no girl is worth your effort, then no girl will find worth in you.

[yammi]

Not all girls play hard to get on purpose. Me, for instance, am quite shy and it does take a good amount of time for me to open up and get comfortable with someone. I get frustrated with myself a lot of times because at the end I feel like I've passed up on a great opportunity. Over the years, I've built up a protective barrier around me and it's not easy to break it open. I know it may be a bit ridiculous, but I do wish that if only they were a tiny bit more persistent, straightforward and had put in more effort then something could have happened.

But maybe I am really not worth it?

___________________________________________

Oh, my dilemma (my contribution to this thread)................there is this person who I really like, but he has a girlfriend already.

[papabear]

Not all girls play hard to get on purpose. Me, for instance, am quite shy and it does take a good amount of time for me to open up and get comfortable with someone. I get frustrated with myself a lot of times because at the end I feel like I've passed up on a great opportunity. Over the years, I've built up a protective barrier around me and it's not easy to break it open. I know it may be a bit ridiculous, but I do wish that if only they were a tiny bit more persistent, straightforward and had put in more effort then something could have happened.

But maybe I am really not worth it?

___________________________________________

Oh, my dilemma (my contribution to this thread)................there is this person who I really like, but he has a girlfriend already.

Hrm, no doubts about your self-worth unless you have concrete flaws that you can point to. And even if you do, if you know what they are you can change them, right?

If he has a girlfriend well, just let it be--you will be ok with time, and who knows, you may meet someone else who's just as good, if not better, right?



Happy (St.) Valentine's Day to 20+ Soompiers!

[JF21©]

If you put forth no effort into a girl, then expect no effort received from a girl.

If no girl is worth your effort, then no girl will find worth in you.

reminds me of that line from H&K GTWK...lol


and to yammi

just let it go. the more you pine after him, the more it's gonna hurt.

like papabear said, you'll probably find somebody for you in the future who's perfect.....but you'd never find him if you're still stuck on this one guy.

and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY!

btw....is it just me, or are there a TON of new 20+ soompiers now...lol i've never seen half of these sn's before.

[sunshine4ever]

reminds me of that line from H&K GTWK...lol
and to yammi

just let it go. the more you pine after him, the more it's gonna hurt.

like papabear said, you'll probably find somebody for you in the future who's perfect.....but you'd never find him if you're still stuck on this one guy.

and HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYBODY!

btw....is it just me, or are there a TON of new 20+ soompiers now...lol i've never seen half of these sn's before.

they probably get in for "free advice" services lol.


Happy Valentine's Day to you too, papabear & yammi & everyone else. I got out of 2 of my classes early because of Valentine's Day, but I actually have no where to go on this special day. Haha.

[YUNA!]

Yesterday, the guy I finally confessed to asked me out for today..

And so he somehow wormed his way in my campus to my lecture hall, and when lecture was over, he was waiting there .. and when he found me, he presented a bonquet of red origami roses in front of all my classmates =P...
then after..we watched Pan's Libyrnth and ate at a greek place...

everything is going great, except, I dont know how to..."officialize" everything @@??...eee.....hahaha.........

or is it better to just leave it the way things are??

[yammi]

The guy I like has a lot of "faults," but they don't seem to matter to me. He's also not the most "loyal" boyfriend either. I can't help but still like him either way and whenever I see him, it makes me happy. I don't know.

Thanks papabear, juicyfruit21 and sunshine4ever.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Yuna!: That was so sweet! I wish I could have some advice for you, but I do with (wish*) you luck.

[kennesu]

oh man, i'm asking advice on the internet. I'm like densha otoko.

so here's the deal.
do you know those gifts facebook has been advertising with.
they're $1 but your first one is free so everyone has been giving out these digital gifts on facebook.
i clicked on it and it had little hearts and teddy bears and other such icons and there were three choices.
public gift - private gift - anonymous gift.
so i chose the anonymous one b/c it says the user doesn't know who gave the gift.
i pick the teddy bear one with a heart scarf and attach the message "i think i may have a crush on you ^^;" and send it to this girl i like.
i feel kind of stupid b/c it's a confession but it's still anonymous and all.
i just checked my facebook and i got the gift of a heart with 'love' on it and the message was simply a face.
this gift was also anonymous.
my deductive reasoning tells me just one thing.
and no one else would've sent me a gift.

now i don't know what to do because i don't know if she accepts my feelings or if she's just acknowledging that she knows i sent that gift.
i'm bewildered and a little embarressed.

[watcher]

sounds like something to be posted in the relationship thread at the top of this forum. but anyways...

how about you just ask her out? best way to find out, right