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[missxmoody]

Your brother sounds like every single person from my town, but sadly they'll have mommy and daddy's money to get them by and their parent's connections to get them decent jobs.

All you really can do is hope that reality will some day bite him in the butt. Otherwise, what can you do? They think their the most amazing people in the world and everyone else is the problem. Sorry, I don't have siblings who I deem "losers", but I have plenty of friends who do have siblings just like you described, or in the same situation.

Oh well, I've decided I'm not going to be bitter that these type of people continue through life perfectly untouched and keep their idiot mentalities. I have my own life to take care of and caring about yourself is a lot more important then their lives.

[xkrn4lyfx]

lol, i was like thinking "omg this girl better not be my nuna mini cooper talking about me"

ehhh losers.... are losers. one day he'll see that he's a loser and by then it'll probably be too late to do much about it. problem is you can't really do anything about it, people don't like to be told that their life style is wrong. all u can do is sign and date a note that says "I told you so." and hand it to him the day he realizes his life sucks

but in all seriousness, don't give up on him, he's your brother ok? it's just a sibling thing, i hate my older sister too at times cuz she makes loser decisions, but even tho i just stick with her cuz eventually she'll become better. eventually. i'm still waiting. all u can do is be there when they make the turn around

[mikomi]

I'd say just keep your distance. Don't get too hot over it, after all he is your flesh and blood no matter how you feel. I feel you on the fustration, though. Luckily, my brother is 8 years younger than me and is better behaved than I am. =T let time take its course- everyone's gotta grow up sometime and if it takes himlonger than others, he'll come around eventually.

[DarkWaltz]

My younger brother is the same, not as serious I'd say. Dropped out of college, girls, hanging out daily and living at home and eating my parent's money.

I gave him the moral plenty of times but it never works.

I stopped helping him a long time ago, and rarely talk to him. I don't care. He will realize his mistake when he'll be older, jobless and with little money to do what he wants in life. He's 22 now btw.

[Pogichinoy]

My older sister was similar, minus the car, girls, pot, and talk, but within the last month, she was on welfare and then they found her a job.

Give it some time for him to mature and/or pressure your parents in to speaking with him.

[HERMIT]

I have no practical advice to give on how to deal with loser siblings.

Maybe I can ask my sister.

[YUNA!]

Does my 14yr old sister sound like your brother?

All she does is talk on the phone (Samsung Instinct, no less) all day long with her damn music playing; when she gets home from school she plops herself in my parents room watching tv all night long; does her homework at midnight; gets everything fed to her with a silver platter; gets EVERYTHING PAID FOR: ds, clothes, stationaries, shoes, jackets, games (when you have to suffer through bull colleagues just to scrimp so you can get those because your parents are too busy taking care of him to notice your existance); and most of all, gets her dumb act defended by my parents just because shes the youngest baby of the family.

Yes? No?

[Ogihara_Hideki]

lol, i was like thinking "omg this girl better not be my nuna mini cooper talking about me"

ehhh losers.... are losers. one day he'll see that he's a loser and by then it'll probably be too late to do much about it. problem is you can't really do anything about it, people don't like to be told that their life style is wrong. all u can do is sign and date a note that says "I told you so." and hand it to him the day he realizes his life sucks

It just takes time. He'll come around. I think you're doing your best by helping him out when he needs it. Just pray that he doesn't do anything so f'ed up that it's irreversible. The thing about being too late, I think, is this. And this is something my mom always used to try and get through my thick skull and I never gave it any serious thought. She always told me, it's never too late to do anything, it's just that it's easier to do certain things at certain times in your life.

It probably doesn't help that he has a group of friends that he can associate with that encourages his lifestyle. One of these days he's gonna have to come to terms with himself and get going. I wasn't as bad as your brother, but my wake up call came when all my closest friends found their niche in life and got moving, when I just, well, stayed in a same spot for years. Wherever one is in life, I think there should always be forward progression of some kind. I hope your brother realizes that mom, dad and even you won't be there forever. Much like his friends and such.

[Pogichinoy]

Does my 14yr old sister sound like your brother?

All she does is talk on the phone (Samsung Instinct, no less) all day long with her damn music playing; when she gets home from school she plops herself in my parents room watching tv all night long; does her homework at midnight; gets everything fed to her with a silver platter; gets EVERYTHING PAID FOR: ds, clothes, stationaries, shoes, jackets, games (when you have to suffer through bull colleagues just to scrimp so you can get those because your parents are too busy taking care of him to notice your existance); and most of all, gets her dumb act defended by my parents just because shes the youngest baby of the family.

Yes? No?

Yes I can relate.

My 26 year old sister was made redundant in a job at an airline that my mother got her. After that she was unemployed for 1.5 years. During that time she was a bum. Stayed at home all day, used the Internet, played music loudly, watched tv 24/7, stayed up ridiculous hours of the night, goes out using money from me that I was forced to give to her and also my parents money.

She has finished university and graduated in journalism but hasn't actively looked for a job in this field. She did have one interview after nudges from us but she failed dismally. She is completing an industry certificate in journalism by correspondence, which is completed in their own time and pace, it has been 6 months since she started it. She eats loads and loads at home, is overweight but doesn't want to exercise. Complains about dropping my mother and I to the train station every morning (2 min drive).

Does NOT do any housework other than the rare occasion of folding laundry.

Parents pay for her car, her phone, her credit card, etc.

Despite everyone in the family urging her to make something of her life, she hears but nothing is actioned.

She is the older sibling and since she is the eldest, unattractive, unsuccessful and overweight, my parents will not push her anymore. I can't say anything because its disrespectful since I'm younger and the youngest in the family.

THANK GOD SHE HAS A JOB NOW.

I love you Australian welfare system.

---

Mind you, I'm not perfect.

[Dr Facepalm]

lol, i was like thinking "omg this girl better not be my nuna mini cooper talking about me"

lmao i thought the same thing

hes only 22 i mean when hes 30 and doing teh same thing maybe he will come around

[BAZINGA!]

Does my 14yr old sister sound like your brother?

All she does is talk on the phone (Samsung Instinct, no less) all day long with her damn music playing; when she gets home from school she plops herself in my parents room watching tv all night long; does her homework at midnight; gets everything fed to her with a silver platter; gets EVERYTHING PAID FOR: ds, clothes, stationaries, shoes, jackets, games (when you have to suffer through bull colleagues just to scrimp so you can get those because your parents are too busy taking care of him to notice your existance); and most of all, gets her dumb act defended by my parents just because shes the youngest baby of the family.

Yes? No?

She's ONLY 14 year old. How else is she gonna get things paid for besides money from your parents? It just sounds like you're jealous.

[fobsquad]

i'm the youngest of two older siblings.
i spend most of my money on clothes/shoes and pot, like your brother.

i think you should just let him be, he obviously doesn't think he's a loser and perhaps thinks YOU'RE a loser.
if he wants to grow up so fast and not go to school, let him.
but you should respect his wishes to do his own thang.

the only way he'll grow up is by letting him.
make sure he knows that when he DOES mess up, it was on him since you supported him.
that's the only way he'll learn to be responsible for himself.

[masturyan]

I have no practical advice to give on how to deal with loser siblings.

Maybe I can ask my sister.

hahahahaha.

[aF 1]

well its clear you and your brother have different perspectives
maybe you should try to understand him a bit better instead of being self-righteous/judgemental
everyones got a story and certainly no one wants to be a 'loser'
good luck

[daisy]

hey that sounds like exactly like my little brother, minus the pot part. My brother always asks me for help in regards to really dumb elementary math questions. It annoys me, but I help me anyway because I don't want to give up on him. There is nothing you can do except keep encouraging him because he's your family.

[BoAFreakVer.300]

Your parents are enablers as well as you and enabling him to live the ideal lifestyle he wants without any effort or work. I am guessing this conflict with your views and you are beginning to hate, be jealous and envious of it. Talk to your parents and talk to him about the issues and blaming your parents over protectiveness and your brother's temper to avoid talking to them are just excuses.

In short, tough love.

[erure]

I have one older brother and I can sort of relate, though I wouldn't call him a loser outright. He graduated from high school and went to a community college for a while but he hates studying so he stopped going after a quarter or two. My parents convinced him to learn a skill so he was enrolled to a culinary school where he learned how to become a chef. He did that for a little while, did a stint in Florida working at a high class restaurant in Disney World but got kicked out because of absenteeism and came home. Then he bummed around for a couple of months and decided he wanted to live in Korea with our dad for a couple of months so he went to Korea. Now he's in Japan "studying" (but honestly no one can know for sure since he's a known liar and there's no one to watch over him there) but I think it's a dead end. He has no goals in life and what's worse, he doesn't care. I think he's planning on living off of our dad for the rest of his life until he passes away and then get an inheritance to mooch off of that for some more time. Sooner or later he's going to realize what a big mistake all that was and regret it, but no one can tell him because he won't listen.

[little mixed girl]

mmm...i guess he's going through a rebellious phrase.
i guess my sister's been going through hers off and on.

basically he's either going to set himself right, or he's not.
but you and your parents can't enable him by giving him what he wants and letting him do what he wants.
that's how he got that way in the first place.

the oldest usually has a lot of pressure to be good, but the youngest doesn't get that.
among the people i know, the youngest in the family tends to waver a lot; they are more willing to party hard/do drugs/etc; etc...

[derrek]

I'll see your sibling, and raise you a mother, a father and another sibling!