[x`monsterr]

My boyfriend of basically 3 years died yesterday in a car crash. I'm going crazy. I've lost my partner and my best friend; I don't know what to do. He's always been there for me and now without him here, I feel lost. Since I found out, I've just been crying nonstop. I haven't talked to anyone or eaten anything. All I do is cry. I wasn't ever that close to his family either.. so I can't really go there for any kind of comfort.

It doesn't help that the last time we talked was when we were both angry. It makes me feel awful knowing that the last time he heard my voice was me yelling at him.

Has anyone ever dealt with a death of a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse? How did you handle it?


===
UPDATE: Thank you so much to everyone who has come in here to offer me some words of comfort. I really do appreciate it.

I'm still in school and this event has made me not care about anything, including doing my work. This is going to screw me over big time in the future and I really don't want it to.. but I just can't get myself to focus on anything. Is there anyway to get back on track? Everything else just seems so petty atm and I feel kind of guilty just going about my everyday things when this whole thing just happened..

I'm also having a lot of trouble sleeping. I usually talk to him every night before I go to bed, and the absence of that is killing me. Last night I basically cried for hours until I was completely exhausted and then fell asleep. I'm thinking about getting some sleeping pills, but I don't want to become dependant on them.. any tips for falling asleep?

Again, thank you everyone for your support

[LUX.]

I'm sorry I can't really contribute.

But I offer my condolences. I hope you are able to find strength and feel better<3

[joongielove]

I'm sorry to hear that. =[

I don't really know what to say, but stay strong. <3 Time will heal all wounds, and if not heal, it'll make them hurt less. He'll want you to be happy, I'm sure. Hang in there. :]

[Jamila]

I've never lost a boyfriend that way..so I can't really offer much in that respect..Though I did lose my father tragically..All I can say is..feel free to cry,,let everything out. I know it feels as if things just aren't real right now..

[RYUUSEi]

When I read this, I just had to drop by and say that I'm really sorry to hear this and I'm sure that you'll come out of all this stronger,
Something like this has luckily never happened to myself but ... it's completely natural for you to be this sad, just let it all out ... it's better not to be alone at times like these, you should seek out your close friends and especially your own family. ,___, Again, I'm so sorry to hear.

Take care of yourself!

[mintcracker]

holy crap...
I knw, I'm so sorry ><
I really don't know what to say...

Hope you're managing, don't worry

be strong!!

[Daikirai]

Omigosh that's horrible ; _______ ;
I'm sorry, I don't know what to say..

[Mizuki168]

omo...that's so sad...may his soul rest in peace. Trust me, I don't think I will EVER understand the way you feel... and right now it may seem like hell living without him but stay strong. Don't constantly remind yourself of him because that will only make it harder to move on with life. Don't allow yourself to wallow hopelessly because frankly put, he's not coming back. He wouldn't want you to be in such a state of depression...he'd want you to be happy right? So don't allow yourself to think of bad thoughts that he isn't here....think of good thoughts that he's spent with you and the love he offered. It's gonna be hard at first but you'll get through it...

~Best of Luck hun~

[tissue4mi]

T____T Dun ever feel like you should deal with this alone! Feel better~ I really hope you do. Loosing someone....especially someone you really loved~ I'm really sorry. It's okay to cry and not to anything for a while, that stuff is natural when something tragic happens. But it's true, overtime you'll be able to gain your strength back~ I doubt your boyfriend wants you to stay this way forever ya know? It's never too late to apologize, he's prolly watching you now, he'll understand--- plus who doesn't get angry at someone they love every now and then?

I really hope you feel better, I send both of you my best regards.

[Sleepy213]

I just want to let you know that, im sorry.

As much as it will be hard to move on in life. You will.
I'm sorry to hear that this happened right after you guys were in a argument..

As much as regrets you may have..be strong.

He is in the better place now.
Enjoy like it was the best of it and it was suppose to happen.
we will all meet someday..

dear topicstarter,

be strong.

[sus]

i dont understand how u are feeling.. but i know ur in excruciating pain..
ur prob feeling very lost, upset, sad, angry...
i guess u have to grieve thru ur situation... u have to start talkin to people cos u need support in ur life.. as one of ur main supports is now gone..
talk to ur parents.. ur siblings.. ur friends... if u dont think ur readi bout it...
talk to someone online.... that doesnt kno u..

it would have been a shock for u... it prob hasnt sunk in yet...
the road ahead is goin to be realli tough... but try ur best to pull thru~~

about u yelling at ur bf, i know that makes things worse n u regret it... n feel so guilty...
in time u will forgive urself.. and i know ur ;bf' would want u to as well... im sure hes lookin over u....

i wish u the best

xoxo

[xBLiSSFUL]

Omg.. I'm so sorry to hear about this tragedy. I know words won't be able to heal what you're feeling and time won't be as easy either. I'm sure he wouldn't want to see you cry or go through hard times right now.. May he rest in peace and hope you can manage through this..

[leenahx33]

Omg, I am so very sorry. Truly. I hope that.. he understood that you really loved him until that end.
I'm so sorry. I hope his family and you stay strong~
Don't forget, though, to take care of yourself. The last thing he'd want is for you to suffer.
My regards, and good luck! <3

[AlyM37]

i'm sorry!....idk what to say. I'm sorry that i can't help you, but I hope you feel better even though it's hard =[

[superhumanchichi]

Oh man... I am so incredibly sorry to hear that I truly hope that you feel better. Let everything out and in your heart, tell him that you love him. I've never had to deal with the loss of a spouse, but I lost someone close to me. I felt horrible, especially since I didn't really talk to him for weeks before he died. I felt really guilty afterwards. He was cremated so it's not like I will ever get to go back and apologize... When you visit him, let him know how you feel. I'm sure he will hear you from up there.

[MaryMagdalin]

im so sorry....
i would be such a wreck if anything like that happened to me...
its ok to cry and let things out..
even if the last time you guys were mad at each other..
im sure he doesnt want you to dwell on it and be really sad...
hang out with your friends and find some comfort with them.
gl and stay strong... time will ease the pain.

[kissez*]

I've never lost my significant other but a close friend of mine passed away last year. And as cliche as it sounds, things do eventually get better. You've got to take it slow and give it time. Be patient... and you don't have to be strong. It's okay to feel weak, to break. Remember that for it to heal, it has to hurt.
I wish you all the best.

[ShadowMax76]

i remember when i came to the point i googled "how to deal with death" .. it's kinda funny now that i look back at it,

not the loss, the googling.. lol


_ there's two tips i can give you, but i think you can make good with one..

.imagine what was going through his mind before he died.

if i were in an argument with my gf, and suddenly saw a car coming towards me...
i'd suddenly feel sorry for arguing with her, and wished she could hear me say i love her one more time

I'm sure he loved you till the last second, no matter what the fight was about.

he may not have deserved a death like that, but a death is only a few seconds - think about his life.

_ no one may understand what it feels like to lose him as a lover, but they have lost their son or good friend .. so you're not alone.

x-x' neh. i went over board. gave ya 3. -sighs-

[x kisekiboshi]

I'm sorry for this to happen to you.
I know you probably feel really bad that the last thing you did was yell at him, but I think you're boyfriend is looking down on you and knowing that you didn't mean it, because in your heart you always loved him.
Let any of your emotions out and find comfort in your friends and family.
I hope things will get better for you.

[seryberry]

oh my gosh, i am so sorrry!!!! how tragic, my heart goes out to you. im sure he knows that you love him very much, and he loves you the same. just keep your head up and hang in there...

i lost my brother 8 years ago, and it was very, very, very hard for me. we were extremely close so i felt like i had lost half of me. everyday that i cried and moped around, i thought how he would react, he would want me to be happy. it just takes time, you need to have get some support to help you get thru this, or even go see someone, it wont hurt. im sure you will find it very helpful thru this trying time.