[HollaBack1588]

Don't Want to Go to School
Mom goes to son's room to wake him up. "Okay, son, time to wake up! Time for school!"

Son, in a surly mood says, "I don't want to go to school!"

Mother insists, "You must, son, now come on!"

Son replies, "I don't want to go! The kids all make fun of me. They hit me. They throw things at me! I don't want to go!"

Mother says, gently, "Son, you know you have to go to school."

"Why do I have to go to school?"

Mother replies, "Because you're the PRINCIPAL!"
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Canibal Test

Three men were lost in the forest and later captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest with the cannibals and get 10 pieces of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather some.

The first man came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples."

The king then explained the second step of the trial to him. First, he had to shove the fruits up his ass without any expression on his face, or he would be eaten. The first apple went in, but when he tried the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed and went to heaven.

The second man arrived and showed the king that his ten fruits were berries. When the king explained the trial to the second man, he secretly thought to it would be easy to shove the berries up his ass. On the ninth berry, he burst out in laughter, so he was also was killed and went to heaven.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh? You almost got away with it!"

The second one replied, "I know, but I couldn't help it. I was doin' just great when all of a sudden the third guy showed up with all those watermelons!"
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Strangers In The Night

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 a.m. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies,"How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!"and hangs up.
Her husband rolls over and asks,"Sweetheart, who was that?"
"I don't know,some dumb pinkberry asking if the coast is clear."

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Hard Day

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
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which was your fav ?

[hahaacindyy]

i like the cannibal test one even though i've heard it before

i don't understand the "Strangers in the Night"

[selvaspeedy]

I read most of them here before, but I liked the strangers in the night

i don't understand the "Strangers in the Night"

I think the caller was cheating w/ the woman's husband... and she was asking him if the coast is clear, meaning if it's safe for her to come over
or maybe I got it wrong too