[s.yanyan]

This question has plagued me since the day I was born. Okay... maybe not but even so, it is a worthwhile question to ask.

Can men and women maintain relationships that are purely platonic in nature? That is-
Can guys and girls really, TRULY, be "just" friends?

For example, in the movie Made of Honor, Patrick and Michelle are purpotedly just really close friends and really comfortable with each other... but in fact Michelle has harboured feelings for Patrick for a long time, and Patrick only begins to realize his feelings for Michelle when she goes off and gets engaged! But I mean... they still had a reasonably platonic friendship for a while... right!?



I have been really good friends for a guy for just over 4 years now. I am absolutely sure he has has no romantic intentions toward me though at some points in our relationship, I was guilty of harbouring feelings for him. But now we're at this point where I feel it's just really good and it's a nice plateau with no potential of liking involved. I call him my best friend and I can talk to him about everything and anything... and he treats me really well. Sometimes, however, I feel guilty because he has a girlfriend and I feel bad if he does something for me that I'm not sure his girlfriend would like very much. First of all I want your answers to the above questions and secondly I want to know if you guys think the things I've done with my best friend are out of line.

• When I was really sad about another guy situation, he asked if I wanted to come out and grab some food with him. He lives 40 minutes away by transit but came over to walk around the neighbourhood with me and when I started to cry, he lent me his shoulder. We then went out to eat... his treat.
• One time when I didn't want to see a guy that we were going out together in a group with, I pretended to want to go home and said I didn't need a car ride then said bye and walked quickly out of the subway car at my stop... but because it was 12:00 am, my best friend came out of the subway car after me and made me take the next train with him to the next station so he could drive me home. Did I mention his girlfriend was on the subway car that left without him? (he said his girlfriend knew what was going on and would not mind at all).
• I made a really nice entry in my best friend's yearbook drawing small pictures about our high school years together. I found out recently from his girlfriend that she never ended up writing in his yearbook because it was too much pressure to compete with my entry apparently... o_o (She said this in a really light-hearted way)

The thing is... of all the things... during the time he was sad and pining away for his current girlfriend of a year and a half, he would tell me things/his feelings.. or he would tell me things about the other girl that he liked. We never talk about him and his girlfriend or any problems they may be having after they started dating or even leading up to them getting together, he stopped talking about her. This is fine with me of course but I just find it a little strange. I wonder if they ever argue about me (and trust me I'm no threat in the looks department, I'm much fatter and uglier than his girlfriend)... but you know, I just wonder sometimes.

And as guy-girl friendships age, does the chance of dating each other decrease?

[insanelyCRAZY]

if there were only two people on earth of opposite genders.
there it no possible way they can be JUST FRIENDS.

its instinct for a person to "love".

so to the question..NO.

[hmong_lubpaj]

i think @ one point or another, one will harbor feelings for the other. that's just how things go b/w two best friends who aren't the same sex. you spend so much time with that one person, you start caring and things escalate from there, but then usually it's unrequited love/like. i think they can be JUST friends but that doesn't mean they won't have feelings for each other at one point or another

[Raito!]

YES YOU CAN!!!!!!!

In a selfish way, let saids you are in a relationship, your lady friend is not very good looking but your girlfriend is very good looking.
Then in this case, you will rather not cheat on her but still remain with your lady friend that you know since childhood.

and then to further increase the possibility, lets add to it that you are also not very good looking and your lady friend has a boyfriend that is very good looking.

[TaTo]

Though I really wish it were possible, according to the data I've accumulated so far i don't think. Most of the guys I really wished to maintain frienship with ended up having feelings for me :/ (not being conceited here or anything). One time I liked a best guy friend back. It's hard to not have feelings for someone that you truly care about if he's of the opposite gener a lot of couples that are husband and wife even claim that their best friend is their spouse.

2. I think the guy was really really sweet, but if I was the girlfriend I would honestly still be a little irked :/

[littlejade]

if there were only two people on earth of opposite genders.
there it no possible way they can be JUST FRIENDS.

its instinct for a person to "love".

so to the question..NO.

Does that mean all the guys u know are your boyfriend?
since u jsut said 'no' they cannot be just friends!
Coz that means your saying you have no guy friends!


But again, like u said: 'if there were only two people on earth of opposite genders.' ...
but there isnt.. so u should b realistic!

The answer is Yes! they can be friends! Be real...U know u can only be friends! Its human instinct!
There is not going to be a scientific explanation to explain the reason why u cannot be friends!

And if there is a so-called scientific explanation . it always come from 'somebody' idea...

Be honest with yourself! ..

I have guy friends! .. but i dont love them! .. See.. do u even have to ask?

[lemon1accw]

Yes, they can. I have many examples of platonic relationships.

[~Tropical.Mists]

OMG! what a coincidence =O I just re-watched that movie today! hahaha! Absolutely random I know >_>
Anyways! My answer is yes, they can JUST be friends!
I think I say this because of my own personally opinion and experiences tho >_>

I think it's true that at some point... you start developing feelings for your best friend or guy friends...
I mean they're guys and as long as you're not a lesbian, I don't see why you don't think about the possibilities =)
But seriously, having friends are apart of life too and sometimes after a day or two, those feelings disappear and I find out that we're way off better being friends ^^
My best friend is a girl, but I have A LOT more friends in general that are guys than girls lol XP
I use to hang out with ALL guys (and ok, I admit I LIKED one of them) but it was fine, the atmosphere wasn't awkward and I doubt any of them liked me that =) They were also like the BEST people ever... they pay for me as well... drive me home/places and even offer me sweaters and stuff when I'm cold.
I guess it's just your opinion of how far they'll go before it's considered "liking you" or "chasing you" but from what I know... yes you can just be friends ^^

--xoxo.
TM

[Pogichinoy]

Yes we can!!

Even Obama says so!

[la folie]

I think it really depends on the person and the intimacy between the two.

If we're talking about a girl and a guy being best friends, I don't think it can be simply a platonic relationship. One way or another, either or both of them will start to develop feelings because the two are so close and spend more time with each other than other friends who aren't as close. However, if it's only an acquaintance/casual friend whom you don't talk to all that much, it's certainly possible to maintain a platonic-only relationship.

I, for example, cannot be just friends with any guy whom I spend a lot of time with. I will eventually like him down the road--maybe not right away, but it's bound to happen for me. If it's not me who develops feelings, then it's him. Haha, speaking of which, I'm in a situation like this right now where I have a super good friend who likes me. I didn't like him half a year ago, but now I do (long story).

As for your situation, it does seem like it's a bit out of the line because IMO that's what a boyfriend would do. But again, you two are best friends, so I understand why he cares for you. I think you might be a threat to his relationship with his girlfriend even though they say it's fine, because over time, his girlfriend might feel that he cares about you more than he cares about her. But I mean, what can you really do though? Tell him to stop? Step back a little, or goodbye from his girlfriend (I'm speaking in the extreme worst situation here)? Either way, something might go wrong, it just depends on how tolerant his girlfriend is.

[Namine]

there may be points where one feels that they could have interest in the other
it just depends on what that person decides to do about it .

[twinkle_l0ve]

I think its possible, but there will always be moments when the boundaries of friendship and lovers will blur

[sillyxjessikah]

i think it's a yes, and a no. LOL idk really. i have examples yes, they can be JUST friends. but then there are also examples of no, either one of them would end up developing feelings for the other person. just like what others stated, i think it depends on what kind of friendship you have with them. the closer you two are, the more of a chance that the other person would develope feelings.

[s.yanyan]

I think it really depends on the person and the intimacy between the two.

If we're talking about a girl and a guy being best friends, I don't think it can be simply a platonic relationship. One way or another, either or both of them will start to develop feelings because the two are so close and spend more time with each other than other friends who aren't as close. However, if it's only an acquaintance/casual friend whom you don't talk to all that much, it's certainly possible to maintain a platonic-only relationship.

I, for example, cannot be just friends with any guy whom I spend a lot of time with. I will eventually like him down the road--maybe not right away, but it's bound to happen for me. If it's not me who develops feelings, then it's him. Haha, speaking of which, I'm in a situation like this right now where I have a super good friend who likes me. I didn't like him half a year ago, but now I do (long story).

As for your situation, it does seem like it's a bit out of the line because IMO that's what a boyfriend would do. But again, you two are best friends, so I understand why he cares for you. I think you might be a threat to his relationship with his girlfriend even though they say it's fine, because over time, his girlfriend might feel that he cares about you more than he cares about her. But I mean, what can you really do though? Tell him to stop? Step back a little, or goodbye from his girlfriend (I'm speaking in the extreme worst situation here)? Either way, something might go wrong, it just depends on how tolerant his girlfriend is.

I guess this makes sense... but I mean, I remember once before he started dating this girl, he asked me if I would still go out with him 1 on 1 if he had a girlfriend and I told him I would not do that unless I was convinced that his girlfriend was okay with it. = = (at which point he was like..come on, so we basically can't be friends?)... because I mean, morally I believe that if I were the girlfriend in the situation, I'd really appreciate a girl who was considerate in that sense... but of course 1) I don't really know if his girlfriend knows when we go out and 2) I don't know the extent to which his girlfriend cares because I'm not terribly close and that acquainted with her.

[pannekoek1992]

A platonic relationship/friendship between a guy and a girl is definitely possible!

But it really depends on the situation.
It would be easy if you don't find eachother physically attractive.
And even easier when your guy friend is gay!

btw your guy friend is really nice to you

[s.yanyan]

A platonic relationship/friendship between a guy and a girl is definitely possible!

But it really depends on the situation.
It would be easy if you don't find eachother physically attractive.
And even easier when your guy friend is gay!

btw your guy friend is really nice to you

haha I read up a lot of theories on this issue and those were some of the limitations i.e.
if your friend is 1) gay or 2) you two don't find each other physically attractive or 3) you two aren't that close

he really is very good to me... I remember when I was trying to get over my ex when he had started dating someone else, I had lost my pair of skates at the skating rink during the wintertime..and this was significant because this was how my ex and I sort of started.. for my christmas present, my best friend bought me a pair of skates so I could go back to the rink, face my fears and be okay again

[Sarita]

yeah i think so
i've a lot of friends from another Sex"Boys" & it's really Normal & Funny relationships
it's cool
even so times i prefer to hed a boy as friend it's better than Girl
b'coz u know Girls .....they made a horrible stuff specially when she liked ur BF >_<

[Meenuh]

Friends.. sure why not?
BEST friends? I don't think so. Most of you are thinking about just regular friendships. When it comes down to being BEST friends where you're with eachother all the time and you do everything together then no. One always ends up falling for the other. You may not harbor feelings for them but it very well may be the other way around.

[[HyuNi]]

Friends.. sure why not?
BEST friends? I don't think so. Most of you are thinking about just regular friendships. When it comes down to being BEST friends where you're with eachother all the time and you do everything together then no. One always ends up falling for the other. You may not harbor feelings for them but it very well may be the other way around.

ditto.
You may think he's you're best friend because he knows you and treats you well, but his actions are definately how a boyfriend treats his girlfriend.
And to be honest, I don't think there would be any girl on the planet who would be completely fine with letting her bf get off the train and leave her for another girl, no matter how platonic the relationship is.

I personally believe it's difficult for a man and a woman to be 'just friends'. The only case I've experienced just being friends is when I liked her and then got over it and later she liked me and got over it. I guess it's some kind of unspoken mutual understanding that we liked each other, but not enough to tell each other. Eitherway, I would never describe a girl as my best friend, unless she's my long-time girlfriend.

You should reassess your relationship with your best friend and objectively determine if you like him as just a friend or a potential boyfriend. If you like him because he treats you in the manner you described above... then I'm guessing you like him because he's a potential boyfriend. Don't try to fool yourself, or convince yourself that you only see him as a friend.

I'm also assuming you haven't explicitly told him how you felt when you liked him?
If you really consider him your best friend and you ONLY like him as a friend, then you should tell him.
That way, when he crosses the line from friend to boyfriend actions, you can tell him not to do that because it's obviously confusing you.

[Beautiful*Nightmare]

It's definitely possible. I had a guy best friend before and I never felt any romantic feeling whatsoever and i'm pretty sure he never any that kind of feeling toward me before. But then again, my current guy best friend used to like me in that way, but i never like him in that way. So i guess it depends on the person.

For example, i'm the kind a person that would never felt romantic feeling toward my friend, well i never so far anyway. Everytime i like a guy and i become friends with him, my romantic feeling toward him fades away, it's weird i know. So if these 2 kind of person become friends, then obviously the platonic relationship would happen.

But then again, you can't never control your feelings and when two people tend to spend so much time together, one or both of them tend to be attracted to each other, but yeah. umm i'm really rambling here, idk if you get wat i mean or not but the bottom line is platonic relationship is definitely possible.