[bbon]

hey, i need help.
there's this guy, we've known each other for over a year now, i met him at work, but then i quit, so i don't see him often.
he's like a european guy (i'm asian), and he's like one 5 months younger and one year level below me (at school- but we go to different schools).
neway before i quit my job, he asked me out, and he like "serenaded" me with his guitar.. and said that he loved me
ughh *gag* i know, i'm so mean-i should be like happy that someone cares abt me, but just not with him. and so then i said "no, i jst wanna b friends"

it's been a year now, and he ALWAYS talks to me on msn, texting and facebook.
i tried ignoring him, but he keeps on texting me- "would be nice if you replied"
it's so annoying! and he tried to get into my circle of friends, by like adding my friend from school, through facebook. and now she thinks that he likes me (we're not that close neway), and starts spreading rumors about me, but it stopped. so it okay.

neway, throughout the year, he kept on wanting to see me, even tho i said "no". but the next day, he'll ask again! and he keeps asking for my address!? aaye??? but i kept saying no.
so like, i finally gave him a chance to see me for like an hour over coffee. and he like blurted all his feelings out abt me.
that he dreamt of me and him kissing! WHAT!!????! T-T
he even bought me a 2 bears from germany, one boy and one girl, and sewed the hands together- (he said that, we should be together like this)
i'm freaked out!
and he wrote me a card, saying he loved me again and some other stuff. '
aaaand- the reason, he wanted my address, was so that he could send me flowers every morning! omgosh he's so nice, but I JUST DON'T LIKE HIM,
I REALLY DON'T LIKE HIM! LIKE SERIOUSLY! I FIND HIM SO ANNOYING to the point where i despise him.
he wanted to walk me home, but i said no, so like he literally begged on his knees- saying please please.. omgoshh...and i ran home, cos i was really scared of him following me.
i know it's bizarre, and i'm being really mean, and he's been so nice to me, i don't deserve him, i've been a bit*h to him all year!~ but he keeps coming back!
i've never had anyone do these kind things to me before, but i don't want it from him.

i really don't know what to do. i'm so confused.
can someone please help me ?

[Knee]

Is he really that ugly?

[bbyneleh]

you should get a restraining order D:

seriously though.. you should tell him to go away.. or like rage and go crazy at him to scare him off?
i don't know but drastic times call for drastic measures!
no offence.. but he doesn't sound that nice.. more like creepy :S

[mikomi]

It depends on how you want it to end with this guy, do you want to get your point across no matter what? Restraining order is a good idea, especially if you don't feel safe around him. Leave that to your last resort, though because you will have to go to court and prove your case, ect. I'd say get one of your guy friends to intimidate him away or even have them pose as your boyfriend. OR you could try to opposite- who knows he may be the type who likes to chase girls, especially ones that are hard to get. I doubt it will work but you could try being SUPER nice to him and bother him ALLL the time so he gets sick of you. You could also act like your crazy, in public, like embarass him when he is following you and begging you to do whatever it is he wants start screaming and throwing your bag on the ground and stomp on the grass like you want to kill it. Then, walk away. I did this ONCE ( yeah I caused quite a scene) and the dude stopped following me.

[Torento <3]

In response to Mikomi's beautiful signature.

Seeing numerous Asian boys (they are not men, even those who are adults) trying to be 'gangster' or 'tough' generally makes me very happy. Because, they're anything but. This is for the exception of the minority of Asian guys who actually are 'solid', but they don't try to 'look' tough or gangster, so I don't know.

Statistically speaking, I would say that physically speaking Asians are 'weaker' than other races. This is in respect to body types and the like.

I can understand CuriosityGguy's point of view, just his wording isn't the best.

: D

[Pol2ns7al2]

asking someone out even though they vehemently reject you is a form of sexual harassment
take legal action against him

[LUVSSOURCREAM]

asking someone out even though they vehemently reject you is a form of sexual harassment
take legal action against him

it doesn't qualify as sexual harassment, but yes if his presence has made you uncomfortable in a way where you feel like your life is threatened that is harassment. there's no legal action you can take until he presents himself as a threat. because he is free to be wherever he wants to be as long as it is permitted. unless he has greatly affected you psychologically where you can't fulfill your daily routines blah blah


you on the other hand, what you can do is be as straightforward as you can and tell him off. have friends accompany you to places. if it really upsets you and he continues to follow you, you can contact your local police department or your counselor in school for further advice. hope i helped and sorry this is happening to you

[mikomi]

it doesn't qualify as sexual harassment, but yes if his presence has made you uncomfortable in a way where you feel like your life is threatened that is harassment. there's no legal action you can take until he presents himself as a threat. because he is free to be wherever he wants to be as long as it is permitted. unless he has greatly affected you psychologically where you can't fulfill your daily routines blah blah


you on the other hand, what you can do is be as straightforward as you can and tell him off. have friends accompany you to places. if it really upsets you and he continues to follow you, you can contact your local police department or your counselor in school for further advice. hope i helped and sorry this is happening to you

actually, it doesn qualify as 'sexual harassment.' I know this because I got someone fired from my old job for it. Long story short, married man kept asking me out on dates after I made it clear that I didn't want to. This is sexual harassment, and his job ended with that exact title.

[bbon]

It depends on how you want it to end with this guy, do you want to get your point across no matter what? Restraining order is a good idea, especially if you don't feel safe around him. Leave that to your last resort, though because you will have to go to court and prove your case, ect. I'd say get one of your guy friends to intimidate him away or even have them pose as your boyfriend. OR you could try to opposite- who knows he may be the type who likes to chase girls, especially ones that are hard to get. I doubt it will work but you could try being SUPER nice to him and bother him ALLL the time so he gets sick of you. You could also act like your crazy, in public, like embarass him when he is following you and begging you to do whatever it is he wants start screaming and throwing your bag on the ground and stomp on the grass like you want to kill it. Then, walk away. I did this ONCE ( yeah I caused quite a scene) and the dude stopped following me.

hahha, go crazy in public- the thing is i don't want to see him anymore. EVER.

he's creepy, what a stalker.

[Torento <3]

Harassment doesn't have to be sexual for it to matter...

[supasheep]

i cant imagine u being with any other guy if u even reject a guy that shows so much love to you. to me you're kinda being unfair to him ae...i dont see any form of stalker-ism there.....if u really dont like him then just tell him? if he really keeps on doing that stuff after u told him u dont like him and u dont want to be his gf or whatever then THATS STALKING. otherwise i think he's just doing all he can to get the woman he loves, sheeez!!! fuk this, i think ur pretty messed up to be treating a guy like this. dont fking lead a guy on. i hate girls who do that, just be honest to him. plus u didnt tell us a real viable reason why you dont like this guy, so it may be his looks? or whatever i dont know but u better tell him and tell him nicely otherwise ur just going to be hurting him even more. to me he's such a nice guy and i probably wouldnt even have continued chasing you seeing ur that ur a bitC* but i gotta admire him cuz hes not giving up. there aren't lots of these guys in the world cuz to tell the truth, i wont even bother chase u further after seeing what kind of person you are.

[한스 ㅋㅋ]

well I guess this is good lesson for any guy reading this.
if you keep chasing a girl, this is what will happen to you. so Don't chase when they already say no.

as for you, I think you should just ignore him.
I mean, in txting, my phone has this method so that you could block a number, you could just block his number.
Block him on MSN, just delete him out of your life -.-

I mean, it might hurt him, but ask yourself, would you rather care about you or him more?
Just remove him from your life, he'll only disturb you

[Torento <3]

It's funny how people say they 'love' someone so easily.

Like the Korean person said above, just delete him from your life.

[yellow103]

actually, it doesn qualify as 'sexual harassment.' I know this because I got someone fired from my old job for it. Long story short, married man kept asking me out on dates after I made it clear that I didn't want to. This is sexual harassment, and his job ended with that exact title.

correct me if im wrong .... but it seems like you are proud of this,
congratulations, you screwed up someones life
now if i only get the chance to screw with your life, maybe you can learn to respect other people

i cant imagine u being with any other guy if u even reject a guy that shows so much love to you. to me you're kinda being unfair to him ae...i dont see any form of stalker-ism there.....if u really dont like him then just tell him? if he really keeps on doing that stuff after u told him u dont like him and u dont want to be his gf or whatever then THATS STALKING. otherwise i think he's just doing all he can to get the woman he loves, sheeez!!! fuk this, i think ur pretty messed up to be treating a guy like this. dont fking lead a guy on. i hate girls who do that, just be honest to him. plus u didnt tell us a real viable reason why you dont like this guy, so it may be his looks? or whatever i dont know but u better tell him and tell him nicely otherwise ur just going to be hurting him even more. to me he's such a nice guy and i probably wouldnt even have continued chasing you seeing ur that ur a bitC* but i gotta admire him cuz hes not giving up. there aren't lots of these guys in the world cuz to tell the truth, i wont even bother chase u further after seeing what kind of person you are.

^^^good on you, at least there are decent individuals in this world ...

one thing i just dont understand, he likes you ... he did nothing bad to you, im not saying you have to go out with him, but is it that hard just to let him down nicely, and even give him some patience.
i really dont care how fugly or loser the guy may be, but at least his trying his best, and he is sincere,
and that deserves anyones respect
the fact that you dont give him respect, is because ur ego is too inflated from his flattery ... what you need is for so called hot and rich guy to come along, use you, tread on you like trash and then chuck you out of the window .... maybe then you can learn to respect and value guys like him

[kelseyum]

i cant imagine u being with any other guy if u even reject a guy that shows so much love to you. to me you're kinda being unfair to him ae...i dont see any form of stalker-ism there.....if u really dont like him then just tell him? if he really keeps on doing that stuff after u told him u dont like him and u dont want to be his gf or whatever then THATS STALKING. otherwise i think he's just doing all he can to get the woman he loves, sheeez!!! fuk this, i think ur pretty messed up to be treating a guy like this. dont fking lead a guy on. i hate girls who do that, just be honest to him. plus u didnt tell us a real viable reason why you dont like this guy, so it may be his looks? or whatever i dont know but u better tell him and tell him nicely otherwise ur just going to be hurting him even more. to me he's such a nice guy and i probably wouldnt even have continued chasing you seeing ur that ur a bitC* but i gotta admire him cuz hes not giving up. there aren't lots of these guys in the world cuz to tell the truth, i wont even bother chase u further after seeing what kind of person you are.

^I don't see how she was leading him on, but that's just me. From the beginning she told him no, so that's hardly leading him on. I also think it's unfair for you to call her a b!tch. Try putting yourself in that situation, where a guy won't leave you alone, after countless times of letting him down gently. I've been in that spot before (not to that degree though, thank god), and it just gets to be too much. If a guy won't understand after being repeatedly told "no thankyou", then you have to be stronger and be more forceful and tell him "no!"...some guys will keep trying, becuase they think letting them down gently is still a chance.

BUT ANYWHOO, BACK TO TOPIC : )

I think the whole thing you can really do is completely cut him out of your life. Like instead of just ignoring his texts and calls, completely block his number and msn and everything. It'll take him a while to realize and he'll be upset, but eventually he'll realize that you don't want him and he'll move on and find someone new.

But also, ask yourself. If he wasn't super clingy like he is, would you have given him a chance? Maybe you don't like being chased, and would rather do the chasing yourself. If so, you could give him a chance. Sit him down and tell him that you want to try things out, if he will stop being so clingy. Tell him you don't want a guy who will do anything for you, that you want independence and distance. Maybe he'll see he's come on too strong and tone it down, enough for you to see if things could actually work out. Becuase its a shame to not try something, seeing how he likes you so much.

Good luck with this : ) !!

[Lavender.Sky]

that is pretty freaky...
yeah i would do that do if someone were 2 do those things for me ...
even though it is kind of sweet... eek

tell him no
nd jst...ignore him

[JASON;]

lol. is he that sure it's love?
just sounds like it's obsession.

[axe_pheonix]

simple. all you say is, "sorry but im not interested you. at all. could you talk to me less?"

sure that SOUDNS mean... but heck if its been going for that long....

[mikeh]

sounds like a stalker... just let him fade into the background and ignore his a##!

[xl0v3juicy]

correct me if im wrong .... but it seems like you are proud of this,
congratulations, you screwed up someones life
now if i only get the chance to screw with your life, maybe you can learn to respect other people

lol why are you getting so worked up about it? I doubt she wanted to screw up his life on purpose . He was constantly harassing her, and was obviously NOT respecting HER, so what can you do? He obviously made her feel uncomfortable ENOUGH for her to report it. You don't even know the full details, so please don't assume.


As for the topic starter, just block him out of your life like everyone else said. I can understand how you feel. If you don't like someone, then you just don't. It's not like we can decide for our hearts... it's like it has a mind of it's own . Just give him a heads up. Make it CLEAR that you don't like him, and if he still doesn't understand, then just block him out of your life.