[L e e B o R a]

EDIT EDIT:

I keep trying to stop hanging out with her, but it's not working.
Maybe I feel lonely, and she just happens to want to come over, and I let her?
How do I stop being friends with someone?

I try to hang out with other friends now, and talk to other people, etc.
But it still always ends up getting back to talking to her!




ORIGINAL POST: I have a friend for the past 2 years, her name is Jisoo.
We have a lot in common, so when we are together, it's easy to talk on and on.

We consider eachother best friends.

We can talk all the time, hang out with eachother all the time,

My heart isn't into in anymore, though.
I think she thinks our friendship is perfectly fine. But I think I get treated like crap.

She tells me she doesn't bother to get close to people, and that I'm the first.
Her exception is her boyfriend.

She will do anything for him, like spend the world of money on him, and not even lend me a penny. (Not that I mind about this)
She doesn't spend a second thought, when he completely says something distasteful about me, (Example: Saying I am hideous.)
She won't even defend me in any aspect.. (This is behind my back, so I guess does that show her true feeling toward me? Or apathy.)
Instead she agrees with him........

He doesn't even want us to go on double dates.
He said flat out he doesn't enjoy me being with her.. o_O

Also, if we have a day to go out, ALL PLANNED OUT ALREADY.
She will just completely change her mind if he suddenly calls and tells her to play games with him on the internet.

She also told me she won't go out with me unless its on the way. =/
What is this, I'm a disposable friend?

Yet she considers us best friends for life or something.

Also another small thing.
When I am talking to her on the phone, and we are in a good conversation, he will suddenly call, and she just says, I have to go talk to him.
Like... Can you not wait a single minute for us to continue talking? Can't you call him back later?
She does this all the time, not just once.


And when I do something small that annoys her, Jisoo will be like "I want to just hit you in the face, you know that?"
Yet she expects me to endure all her small annoyances, and I don't know what to do anymore.

I'm just rather distressed at the fact that when I confront her, she acts as if it's normal.
I confronted her, and she literally told me that she would simply go out with me only if it was convenient.
She won't go out of the way to do anything for me.


Should I just tolerate it and keep her along as a friend?
Would you even consider her a friend?

[Torento <3]

She seems obsessive over him in some respects.

Be a friend with her maybe, just not as close as you used to be. If she keeps flinging you off, then she's not worth it.

Calling her to play games on the internet with her. Like the other boyfriend I talked about who talked in a video game language - Loser and otaku

[한스 ㅋㅋ]

wow best friend for life? LOL. best friend my a**

I don't even consider that a friend, let alone a "Best Friend"

I mean, okay fine, about the phoning thing, fine, if her bf calls I think she should take it and you should be considerate by letting them talk.

about the day out, that is such a bull. I mean, My friend did that to me once, oh and dat just ruined our plan, I"m not even friends with her anymore now coz of that. You know why she cancel it? because her dad is coming from overseas.... is it just me, but I think dat is really dumb of her not knowing when her dad is coming? and we planned it the day before, that is so amazing.
That's so unfair, why can't he just ask his bf to come with you guys?

not borrowing money, fine, Even I'm like that I hate borrowing people money unless it's urgent lol
BUT, never borrow anything to her then. Otherwise she would just step on you.

and okay... the next one... this is what makes me angry the most, which I shouldn't be, coz it's not me xD
but this is getting really annoying. I don't know why you still even want to be friends with her.
I never hear my friends say that I'm ugly, even though I probably am? the only thing they ever said is how my new hairstyle is funny like a round ball LOL. to be honest, I like it though, so who cares about what they think lol. But that's not bad. But saying you're hideous -.-
I mean, if dats joking then fine, I'm sure the bf is joking, but the girl... man.
I just can;t imagine them saying

him: hey your friend is ugly
her: yeah I know he's so ugly

LOL wth is with that? That's prob the funniest thing I've heard today, that's just so sad lol. I'm sorry lol

I say leave her lol, I think she's just using you. Try this, try calling her next time, see if she wants to talk, if she doesn't, then she's just using you to fill her boredom i'd say.

[KateLove]

I hate to be this frank but .... HE is her boyfriend, YOU are her friend.
That's just the way life works; if I'm talking to a friend on the phone and my BF
calls, yeah of course I get off. The ONLY person i'd lend money to is my BF.

Seems like maybe you like her. ("leave" her ?) IDK but ... if my BF had a best-friend who was female
and hung out with her alone/was close to her, I'd probably be a pinkberry and say she's ugly
& don't hang out with her and stuff .... IDK; I just feel like if your in a relationship it's just respectful
to distance yourself from friends of the opposite sex.

[Pinkychan]

no, i woudlnt call her freind. shes basically ditching u for a guy o.o... thast such a waste.....
i kinda haev a situation like u.. like iw as reallly clsoe with one of my girlfriends and then one of my guy friends liked her... and me and my other friends were kinda agains't it (long story) but! me and the friend that are against her are her closest freinds... so she was leaing to a no (rejection) to my guy friend.. but this fight started between me and this guy.. he was being a selfish biaatch... so of course i would get mad... and guys are supposibly be nice to the girls best friends???
but anyways.. she eventually ditched us.. because she wanted to "try" it..... -.-;;; so yuh she ditched her best friends for a guy....... i belive that your best friends will never leave you.... because if u go with a guy.. he might end up leaving u.... so thats the thing..

but yuh i dont think she coudl be considered as a friend.
watch.. when she done obsessing over the guy... and he dumps her... she'll come crying to you...
so it jsut seems leik your the side kick there... shes jsut using u... -.-;;

[L e e B o R a]

I hate to be this frank but .... HE is her boyfriend, YOU are her friend.
That's just the way life works; if I'm talking to a friend on the phone and my BF
calls, yeah of course I get off. The ONLY person i'd lend money to is my BF.

Seems like maybe you like her. ("leave" her ?) IDK but ... if my BF had a best-friend who was female
and hung out with her alone/was close to her, I'd probably be a pinkberry and say she's ugly
& don't hang out with her and stuff .... IDK; I just feel like if your in a relationship it's just respectful
to distance yourself from friends of the opposite sex.

I'm a female.

I don't get why you can't finish up a phone conversation, then call your boyfriend after.
Are you gonna piss in your pants if you don't?

Why do people think I'm a man.
Sorry if I didn't make that clear, guys.

Thanks to any advice so far, I'll have to read it all over and think about what to do in the days to come. >w< <3



I mean is it completely right to just put your boyfriend first priority all the time, and only come to your 'best friend' when you are bored?
Is there no balance...

[pockystixx]

i would be so fed up with a person like her.she's treating you like dirt, and you don't need her.
yes her bf might be her first priority, but if she considers you her "best friend" then she needs
to bounce back to reality and start treating you right. her and her bf just need to... GO.

[KateLove]

I'm a female.

Why do people think I'm a man.
Sorry if I didn't make that clear, guys.

O0o0oh haha, sorry. IDK your post sounded like a guy friend to me
Usually my girl-friend and I understand that when a BF calls, that person wants to talk to their
BF == if my friend says "Oh! G2G my BF's calling" I understand her ...

But that's me and my friends.

[MaryMagdalin]

that is no friend
i would have dropped her as a friend a long time ago
i suggest you find friends that value you.

[spixder]

If its strictly friendship between u and this girl, i suggest u just give her the drop kick her, find someone else to muck around with in life. If she calls reply with "sorry but i am busy", if she wants to do something when her bf is not avalaible then "sorry i am busy". Let her know that u aint a tool, maybe one day she will realize that she took u for granted, till that day comes just gtfo and find someone else to hang with where u can be yourself.

Edit: Hmm u can hang out with me if u want, too bad i'm on the other side of the world .

[bhebie9]

Yeah...She's a conveniente friend: She'll hang with you when it's convenient for her.

But yeah, she is SO whipped. If a guy talks about my "best friend" that way, I wouldn't even look at him again.
Because I think, the best way a guy could get to me is through my friends.

[Shuga]

Do you consider her as your best friend?

You don't have to, you know.

I say, be there for her when she needs you. You don't have to think she has to be your best friend, just because she said you were hers. People define things differently. To her, a best friend may just be a person she can fall back on and spoil herself with, and not a person she invests a lot of time with you.

I'm sure she will realise what a great person you are for allowing her to treat you in that way. Not many people allow themselves to be called someone's 'best friend' when they don't feel like they are being treated as one. In the mean time, don't invest more energy than you are willing to into your relationship with her - if you invest more energy and time than you're willing to, you may feel cheated.

[L e e B o R a]

Thanks to everyone for the advice.
It's so ironic how I'm thinking about this & when I'm looking back, I can only think of more things that make me irritated..

[Torento <3]

How could you think the original poster was a guy from the post? :S

Just add an avatar that makes you appear more likely to be a female.

[L e e B o R a]

I keep trying to stop hanging out with her, but it's not working.
Maybe I feel lonely, and she just happens to want to come over, and I let her?
How do I stop being friends with someone?

I try to hang out with other friends now, and talk to other people, etc.
But it still always ends up getting back to talking to her!

[_dax_]

I don't understand why you would bother trying to end a friendship if there is no real reason to.

All friends drift once in a while. Sometimes I don't contact my friends for a lengthy period of time since I am busy.

Even so, I don't completely end a friendship. After a while we pick up again and have lots to catch up on.

Could it be that you just want some space? Or were you never 'real' friends in the first place?

[LOVE&FREEDOM_beautyofX]

what a b itch ............ find a new best friend, try REALLY REALLY hard to avoid her period.

[Meenuh]

If you wanna stop being friends with her ... tell her everything you wrote in your orginal post. Don't avoid her. Confront her. She'll probably end up avoiding YOU.

[bad boy]

no that is not a friend

u are a her dog

and she is her bf dog

quit tolerating that bs

and stop being used.

shes only using u to company her till her bf isnt busy, then take your place again

[L e e B o R a]

I don't understand why you would bother trying to end a friendship if there is no real reason to.

All friends drift once in a while. Sometimes I don't contact my friends for a lengthy period of time since I am busy.

Even so, I don't completely end a friendship. After a while we pick up again and have lots to catch up on.

Could it be that you just want some space? Or were you never 'real' friends in the first place?

Did you not read anything else I wrote? I don't think she cares about me and only hangs out with me as a convenience, but oddly enough she considers me her best friend and expects me not to leave her.