[piano4112000]

I'm 20+ and a virgin and I fear my first time. Not the act itself but the aftermath. Giving yourself to this one person and really trusting him that he is the one. My biggest fear is that he might turn out to not be the one and I don't want to regret my action.


Oh, and also because of the pain as well

Anyone here also fear it or maybe anyone who has done it and regret it afterwards


Share your experience

[Prot]

That is why people remain virgins till they are married so they don't give it up to the wrong person. But I guess that is an "outdated" concept in today's world where promiscuity is promoted.

[derrek]

Marriage doesn't make the person the right person. You're never going to know. I'm sorry to sound harsh, but it's true. There's no way to know that the first person you have sex with is going to be the last. You just have to make sure you love the person, and trust them, and hope for the best.

As far as fearing it, there's no point. Virginity has had so much weight put on it that people treat it like its the most important decision in your life. Well it's not. Now don't get me wrong, it IS important, but if you make a mistake, you move on just like anything else. It's not a life and death situation. There's so much unnecessary stress involved with your first sexual partner it's ridiculous.

Trust me, I was a virgin until I was about 20. I was in your shoes before then. We were in love, we had sex, now we're not with each other anymore. Do I regret it? Not at all. I was in love with her at the time, and it was my decision. Am I any further back? Nope. It wasn't that big of a deal. I live to find new love, and plan to have sex with them.

I dunno, just don't trick yourself into thinking that it's so scary. It's really not. Just make a good judgment call, make sure you love and trust the person, and when you feel the time is right go for it. There's no way to know for sure. Does your life change after you've lost your virginity? No. You're the same person.

And yes, it may hurt the first time, but you'll enjoy it, and you will continue to enjoy it... very very much.

[donporkuloin]

I don't fear it. I was waiting for marriage, but I'm at the point to where I'd lose it if I met the right girl? I mean someone that I have a good connection with, etc. I could've lost it a month ago to a friend, but I just don't like her like that.

[kissez*]

I was a virgin up until I was 21. It was kind of weird... 'cause I had dated/known the guy for about 7 years... but right after we did it - I mean the next morning I woke up, immediately phoned one of my best friends and went, "All right - I'm gay!"
And then my ex-boyfriend and I parted ways and we haven't spoken since.
It was so awkward. I think I might've hurt his feelings because he was lying right next to me when I made the phone call. Ugh... it was so awful. I wanted to RUN AWAY AND HIDE. But after that - there was absolutely nothing between us. Just sort of, "Okay well you take care now... have a nice life!"

Oh and for me, it hurt but it wasn't unbearable or anything. My ex-boyfriend had a really small penis lmao.
It was like a nub.

[derrek]

hahaha!! I'm sorry, that's hilarious. Poor guy had a tiny penis AND he'll think that it was because of him that you're gay. He'll think he performed so lousy that you never want to have sex with a man again! Libido DOWN! hahaha!

[piano4112000]

Marriage doesn't make the person the right person. You're never going to know. I'm sorry to sound harsh, but it's true. There's no way to know that the first person you have sex with is going to be the last. You just have to make sure you love the person, and trust them, and hope for the best.

As far as fearing it, there's no point. Virginity has had so much weight put on it that people treat it like its the most important decision in your life. Well it's not. Now don't get me wrong, it IS important, but if you make a mistake, you move on just like anything else. It's not a life and death situation. There's so much unnecessary stress involved with your first sexual partner it's ridiculous.

Trust me, I was a virgin until I was about 20. I was in your shoes before then. We were in love, we had sex, now we're not with each other anymore. Do I regret it? Not at all. I was in love with her at the time, and it was my decision. Am I any further back? Nope. It wasn't that big of a deal. I live to find new love, and plan to have sex with them.

I dunno, just don't trick yourself into thinking that it's so scary. It's really not. Just make a good judgment call, make sure you love and trust the person, and when you feel the time is right go for it. There's no way to know for sure. Does your life change after you've lost your virginity? No. You're the same person.

And yes, it may hurt the first time, but you'll enjoy it, and you will continue to enjoy it... very very much.

I don't know what it is about your post but it actually put me as ease. I guess your right, you'll never truly know if that person is the right person and if he is your last. I have always put virginity on such a pedastal that when I meet someone I analyze everything about them and see if they measure up and I know I shouldn't. I went to a high school in California where every student cared more for sex than anything else and I think that was what made me value being a virgin.

I'm such a geek when it comes to this. I see myself as the kind of person that when I do fall in love, I love forever or until forever ends. My parents had that and I see how happy they are and I want that to. Being asian I grew up with rules and strict values and I try to stick to them even the ones I hated. Now that I'm at an age I can decide for myself it feels harder to decide what is right for me.

But you know your right, even if I do make the mistake of picking the wrong person it isn't the end of the world, I'll still be able to dust myself off and move on.

Thanks for your input.

[derrek]

But you know your right, even if I do make the mistake of picking the wrong person it isn't the end of the world, I'll still be able to dust myself off and move on.

Of course, and that's only IF the mistake happens. Which you cannot control. So there's really no point worrying too much about it. And I don't mean stop caring, because you want it to be special, and you want the guy to be the one that loves you!

But ya, I'm glad I could help!

[piano4112000]

I don't fear it. I was waiting for marriage, but I'm at the point to where I'd lose it if I met the right girl? I mean someone that I have a good connection with, etc. I could've lost it a month ago to a friend, but I just don't like her like that.

Some of my friends did that, they lost theirs to a friend, I can't do that for myself. Your right it should be when you have a good connection with someone. I hope you find that person.

[7thprincess]

I kinda wished I sold mine. For a million dollars plus. Could really use that right now.

[HERMIT]

Don't worry about it too much.
Think of it as being like when you started learning how to ride a bike.
The ride will feel wobbly at first but once you've been around the block a couple hundred times you'll get the hang of it.
Just remember to wear your helmet.

[Prot]

Marriage doesn't make the person the right person. You're never going to know. I'm sorry to sound harsh, but it's true. There's no way to know that the first person you have sex with is going to be the last. You just have to make sure you love the person, and trust them, and hope for the best.

Marriage doesn't mean that person is the right person obviously (there is something known as divorce) but if you can make the decision to marry them, I think its safe to say trusting them with your virginity would be a wise decision as well. Though once again as I've said, in today's society, it seems the significance of marriage isn't as considered as it use to be.

Don't worry about it too much.
Think of it as being like when you started learning how to ride a bike.
The ride will feel wobbly at first but once you've been around the block a couple hundred times you'll get the hang of it.
Just remember to wear your helmet.

Hahahaha

[runwild]

I lost my virginity to my then best friend, now ex boyfriend, when I was 17. And even though we parted on bad terms, I don't regret it at all. It felt right at the time and I think that's all that matters. I think with every choice in life, you shouldn't make the worry of regret sway your decision.

Oh, and the process of popping that cherry... well it hurt a lot for me. It made walking around at work the next day very difficult. I suggest just spending the next day with your beau in bed getting over that first time awkwardness. Be sure to change your sheets!



& wow I picked the best thread to lost my soompi virginity too.

[piano4112000]

Don't worry about it too much.
Think of it as being like when you started learning how to ride a bike.
The ride will feel wobbly at first but once you've been around the block a couple hundred times you'll get the hang of it.
Just remember to wear your helmet.

Thanks ,I got a nice chuckle out of that.

[Raito!]

this is why you should do it after you get marry so that the experience is wonderful since it would be like you both never had another sex partner before and you both are your both FIRST and last sex-mate.

for pain, use a lot of lubercation, like use the entire bottle if you have too LOL!!!!

as for me, i dont fear because sex after marriage will be harder for them to break off with you hahaha cuz you gotta go thru sooo many legal processes and that in azn culture its embarrassing cuz all of your family member would know since they were invited to your wedding LOL

[runwild]

this is why you should do it after you get marry so that the experience is wonderful since it would be like you both never had another sex partner before and you both are your both FIRST and last sex-mate.

for pain, use a lot of lubercation, like use the entire bottle if you have too LOL!!!!

as for me, i dont fear because sex after marriage will be harder for them to break off with you hahaha cuz you gotta go thru sooo many legal processes and that in azn culture its embarrassing cuz all of your family member would know since they were invited to your wedding LOL

If I were to get a divorce it would be because there is something wrong with my marriage that we can't fix. Why would you stay in a unhappy marriage because you lost your virginity to them? or because it would be embarrassing? Embarrassment can fade away with time, not unhappiness in a marriage. Besides, divorces are easier to get than pie nowadays.


and btw, lubrication has nothing to do with the pain you experience when you lose your virginity.

[Raito!]

^ why would you wanna marry someone who you know you will have a problem with? thats why you shouldn't rush for marriage.

oops misread that last sentence of yours regarding divorce

[cookingcooking]

For me i think sex only after you r marry is like not trying a make up and just purchase it straight off the rack.
If its not suitable for you,u can't possibly ask for a refund.Same goes to sex after marriage.:lol:While sex is not everything,it certainly plays a huge role in keeping the marriage together."If you nvr try,you nvr know"
Too much emphasis is place on virginity this day,its not really everything.If you like the guy just do it and enjoy the intimate moments together.

[x0ny]

I lost it to my ex gf of 3 years and I don't regret it, I really loved and cared about her and it was just another step into our relationship really. It's just something that I can say made us close and intimate. I don't talk to her anymore but I'm sure she doesn't regret it either. I see sex as just another stage in a relationship. I've seen plenty of people who save until theyre married and then all of a sudden they got divorced!

[jerseycity]

the more partners you have, the less "special" it gets. after a while it becomes a pleasure thing. so remember not to have too many partners if you want to keep it "making love" instead of "just a john tesh".

one good thing about having more partners is you do get a lot of experience out of it. you learn what feels good for you (especially girls), and how to also pleasure the opposite sex better.