[danceplaylove]

Basically my mom doesn't want me to apply to privates because she says it's a waste of money- I'm only going to one college and I'm already accepted to UCI. BUT WHAT THE FREAK. Every parent out there wants the best colleges for their kids and my mom has been telling me that I should go to Cal State because I can go there basically for free since she works there. But she doesn't understand my need to reach higher, to see what I can potentially obtain. Even my 8th grade teacher have been telling me to apply to at least 8 colleges- and I am- 4 UC and 4 privates. I just don't understand her! She claims to support me 100 percent but she won't even support me in applying to private schools. I've been telling her since I was in 5th grade that my dream school is Stanford and about what a great school Johns Hopkins is for the medical field. I'd rather waste a few hundred dollars than to spend a lifetime of regret for not applying. I'm stressful enough in the process of applying and worrying about if I will get accepted. I already have my essays and letter recs and almost done with my privates. I feel like I've worked so hard to get As and doing everything I can but in the end, the only thing stopping me is ironically my mom with my applications.

Sorry you guys have to read through all that. I'm totally pissed. I just turned in my UC apps just an hour ago. But then I have to turn in my common apps and I don't want to fight with my mom about applying again.

So my question is: How can I convince her to let me apply to the private colleges I want?

Thanks for your time.

[Avex]

Benefits of some private schools:

- Smaller classes (those are hard to get in UCs if you want personalized attention for your education).
- Private schools have more money compared to the UCs, which are constantly cutting funding. This is why UCBerkeley is having a campaign to like get donations and is actually thinking of raising tuition above all UCs (here). Funding is imperative if you want a good education.

I'm sure there are other benefits, but your mom does have a point.
The down side of some private schools is that you might end up with lots of debt to pay off without sufficient scholarships. This is especially true if you decide to get loans. Unless, you get into Stanford, which will waive tuition for families who make $100,000 or under a year (link), or other schools with similar programs. Stanford can do that because it has the money.

Also, given our economy, it is harder to get a loan now. However, given the listed benefits I have given you for private school, it shouldn't hurt to apply. It's just that public schools seem somewhat affordable at the moment compared to private.

[I.said.hi]

i will say this:


Don't.


Honestly, you should not let your mom decide what your future is. If you want to apply to see if you make it it, do it. Your parents cannot prevent you from determining YOUR future.

honestly, her opinion about what school you apply for should not defer your wants for colleges.

do what you think is best for you.

[iMMA D0Rk XD]

if its that bad why don`t you just do it behind her back? sounds bad i know but this is your future and she won`t listen to you..maybe its the only way

[「Sachiko」]

^ don't forget that there are applications fees for applying

but I still think you should tell her that you still want to apply, because this is your decision, not hers. you're the one going to college, not her. avex has a point. you should explain to your mom that private schools have more money than the public universities/colleges. when you apply to college, expense shouldn't be the main factor. there are loans, scholarships, financial aid, etc. to take into consideration. im not sure how to convince your mom, but.. good luck! ><

[felinius]

I've been telling her since I was in 5th grade that my dream school is Stanford and about what a great school Johns Hopkins is for the medical field. I'd rather waste a few hundred dollars than to spend a lifetime of regret for not applying. I'm stressful enough in the process of applying and worrying about if I will get accepted. I already have my essays and letter recs and almost done with my privates. I feel like I've worked so hard to get As and doing everything I can but in the end, the only thing stopping me is ironically my mom with my applications.

Sorry you guys have to read through all that. I'm totally pissed. I just turned in my UC apps just an hour ago. But then I have to turn in my common apps and I don't want to fight with my mom about applying again.

So my question is: How can I convince her to let me apply to the private colleges I want?

Thanks for your time.

The question is: WHY do you want to go to Stanford? WHY do you want to go to John Hopkins? Do you have ANY sort of a plan besides just wanting to attend a prestigious school? Why can't you just go to a Cal State for your lower division and transfer over?

You know that by going to a private school, you spend thousands more than going to a UC? I know that Mills College (private all-womens college) cost 35,000$/ yr for tuition, while UCs only cost about $15,000-20,000 a year. Even UCB and UCLA are in the top 30 colleges as well.
Remember to think about your parent's situation. Truthfully, if you can get away with transferring (even from a community colleges, they really aren't bad) then it's a really good idea financially. I know Cal State pays crap (I work in a Cal state!) :/

[iMMA D0Rk XD]

The reason why its good to go to a private institute over a UC or Cal state is NETWORKING/CONNECTIONS/ALUMNI and possibly the name. If your parents can afford a private institute, then I would argue with my mother about trying out for a private college. However if they cannot, then I completely agree with your mother. I would seriously think about applying for a private college secretly and as for that submission fee (maybe save up lunch money?) Remember this is your future. I would hate for you to think of "what could have happened if..."

[Christinaisweird]

just apply and tell her it wouldn't hurt but just hundreds of dollars.
plus, you don't really lose anything but those fees. i mean not trying to apply to those are not insanely crazy, but tell her to just let you apply if you do get accepted then you can go on financial aid and scholarships, right ?

[ChunJin]

I would agree with your mother; it's a waste of money. Especially for undergraduate studies. It's more import in the graduate studies level. Where the research in the graduate level pertains more to important topics, and you will be specializing in an area.

However, if you want to convince her. Apply for scholarships, work etc. Show that you'll pay it off 100%. Without her help, without the use of a lot of loans.

[josebiwasabi]

i don't know about your income, but it if you're not that well off going to a private college is actually cheaper because they give you a lot of need-based aid.

i'm not quite sure where people get the idea that private schools are that much more expensive than public schools. i mean sure, if you try and attend a random mid/lower-tier private school then you're just paying more money for a worse education. but pretty much any reputable private school has a very very large endowment and they are very much willing to give that money to deserving students. i could pay $40,000/year with no finaid other than loans to attend a UC (from out of state) or i could attend USC for free on need-based aid. not a difficult choice. likewise, in my "home" state of washington i could have gone to UW paying about $1500/quarter after scholarships and grants. still more expensive than attending USC.

just do some research, and show your mom some facts and figures. it's hard to argue against numbers.

[felinius]

i mean sure, if you try and attend a random mid/lower-tier private school then you're just paying more money for a worse education.

Public doesn't mean that it's going to be a worse education. If it did, then UW wouldn't be #1 for primary care in the US medical schools.

[josebiwasabi]

Public doesn't mean that it's going to be a worse education. If it did, then UW wouldn't be #1 for primary care in the US medical schools.

i know, which is why i said private in the statement that you quoted

[x_estherrrrrr_x]

i understand where you're coming from but same with your mom.
i didn't realize how expensive college was until i got in it.
i live in ga and emory is the best private school here.
its about $35k ish i think and the hope scholarship (available to all undergrads with 3.0+gpa)
is supposed to cover tuition which is like $5k of the $35k...
the rest, you're on your own....

i have a friend that goes to johns hopkins right now and is struggling financially...
he gets grants and stuff but its still not enough to cover for everything...

BUT, if it's REALLY you're dream school, apply :]
and don't regret it...

also, graduate studies is what matters most.
if you want to go into the med field, yeah johns hopkins and schools such as those are the best.
but lets say that ur an undergrad at j.h, its harder to get in as a grad student.. they're less likely to accept you..
but ::shrugs::

it's your life, don't have ppl dictate what you can and cannot do..
but also, look @ the situation from both pov's.
:]

[g-yo]

Private schools have much more money and resources.
In the end, you're getting more for your buck.
UCs and state colleges have suffered budget cuts, so they don't really care about the individual. With your goals, states aren't going to do sht for you, and getting into grad school from UCs is going to be a pain in the ass. While the more important thing is your graduate school education, where you get in from undergrad is going to help you a lot!
A little pain right now is going to be compensated in the end for you.

Have you talked to your counselor yet?
You should try asking her how to convince your mom to agree to applying to privates.

Good luck!

[esm90]

Go ahead and apply (would be helpful if you have your own way of paying though, so you won't have to consult your mom). Where you'll attend is another question; if tuition is the issue you can compare the financial aids offered by different schools later.

I applied to schools that, now that I look back, I had 0% chance of getting into. But at one point I wanted to go to those places, and if I had never applied, I'd never know, right? (Right now I honestly don't care though because I like my university and I feel like I've got more that I wished for in the first place.)

[mojomunkeez]

You're going to Irvine? Then you wouldn't have much chance for the private schools you want, anyways.

[akenon]

You're going to Irvine? Then you wouldn't have much chance for the private schools you want, anyways.

I think she meant that she has guaranteed acceptance to UCI?

To be completely honest, I kind of agree with your mom on this one. I guess it wouldn't hurt to apply (because you'd regret it if you didn't) but then again, if you want to go into the medical field, you are definitely going to have to go to grad school. And when someone is thinking about whether to hire you or not, they're going to pay a lot more attention to the name of your graduate school than your undergrad. Depending on your financial situation, though, it might be worth it to go to a private undergrad (if you get lots of financial aid, or if you're just so rich it doesn't matter, etc...)

[danceplaylove]

The question is: WHY do you want to go to Stanford? WHY do you want to go to John Hopkins? Do you have ANY sort of a plan besides just wanting to attend a prestigious school? Why can't you just go to a Cal State for your lower division and transfer over?

You know that by going to a private school, you spend thousands more than going to a UC? I know that Mills College (private all-womens college) cost 35,000$/ yr for tuition, while UCs only cost about $15,000-20,000 a year. Even UCB and UCLA are in the top 30 colleges as well.
Remember to think about your parent's situation. Truthfully, if you can get away with transferring (even from a community colleges, they really aren't bad) then it's a really good idea financially. I know Cal State pays crap (I work in a Cal state!) :/

It's harder to transfer from Cal State- it's the last ones they look at, after CC, high schools, then Cal states.
It's not like my mom CAN'T afford it. My friend's parents don't even have a job right now and they're still forking out the money for her to apply to 12 schools.

I think she meant that she has guaranteed acceptance to UCI?

To be completely honest, I kind of agree with your mom on this one. I guess it wouldn't hurt to apply (because you'd regret it if you didn't) but then again, if you want to go into the medical field, you are definitely going to have to go to grad school. And when someone is thinking about whether to hire you or not, they're going to pay a lot more attention to the name of your graduate school than your undergrad. Depending on your financial situation, though, it might be worth it to go to a private undergrad (if you get lots of financial aid, or if you're just so rich it doesn't matter, etc...)

Yeah, I'm already accepted bc of ELC. Well, of course, I know that ultimately grad school matters. If I do get into a good undergrad, the chances of getting into grad is higher- given that I have a good GPA and MCAT scores as well.



I think I'm just going to ask my dad to pay for my private apps.

[ChunJin]

If you have good grades and are in the top of your class. You should apply for scholarships and various things. Especially since you seem like you meet the basic requirements. Just need to get in gear and start writing.

There's two things I feel is wrong: pushing your debt onto your parents, when you have control (applying for scholarships, working etc.) or taking out loans when you have control. Those two are pretty bad choices.

However, where you come from (undergraduate school) doesn't matter as much as you think. It's pretty objective -- they look at your overall GPA, standardized test scores (MCAT in your case), the essay you write and your experiences (work, research etc.). With an emphasis on the work experience and standardized test score. The University doesn't define who you are, you define who you are. Which is the important thing.

Some public universities are more rigorous in their department selections; at UW, I know 800-1200+ will apply to some department (nursing, computer science, astronautics & aeronautics) and they'll accept maybe 40-60 people. That's less than 10%. So you have to be pretty intelligent.

[aval-zo]

apply and see if you get accepted. if accepted, tell her you got in...and go from there. my advice. ^^