Sorry for the lengthy story
Recently, i started talking to this guy who was my friend's exboyfriend. He and i got close, but i kept our relationship on a strict friendship term, because i knew that he and i would never work out. Despite how i feel totally comfortable talking to him and such i always feel slightly guilty for talking to him. Even when his name is mention, i tensed up. After a while, my friend and him went back out. He and i still continued to talk, she didn't knew we were on txting terms; she just thought we talked online. The other day, she saw him txting me. She didn't say anything to him at all, but when she saw me she interrogated me about it. Asking a bunch of questions about when, how, why, etc. did we start txting. Despite how she said she was "okay" with it, it's obivious that she was not because of those questions.
Afterwards, i fell into a semi-depression phase because i was so worried that she will say something to him and he and i won't talk anymore. I didn't want to lose a new friend just because of that. I knew that if he had to choose, he would choose my friend over me.
after she found out he and i have been texting, she constantly key me in on what they did together. Not only that, but when i am with her she uses me as a communication device to talk to him. It was like she wanted to get me jealous.
Luckily, we continued to talk but then the other night something strange happened. He just seemed so awkward in txt. He usually respond to me right away, but this time it took him forever and very "formal".
Do you think she said something about me to him?
why would he treat me like this when we were obiviously fine the other day?
Is there a way where i can be friends with both of them?
I never had the intention of breaking them apart. In a way, i actually helped them get together.
I really don't want to lose either one of them as a friend.
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Guy Friend Problem What do you do when your friend ruin your friendship with a some1 else
#2
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Posted 29 November 2008 - 03:07 PM
Um, do both of them even want to get back together?
Usually when a couple breaks up they wouldn't want to really get back together unless, they didn't mean to actually break up.
The jealousy part, I know how you feel...it's like being used right?
Well maybe she does still love him, and can't accept it that they're no longer together.
It's hard to befriend someone who recently breaks up with their partner, and then their partner actually comes up to YOU.
That's when all sorts of problems occur, it triggers heavy sensitivity and lack of trust.~
Since you just wants to be friends with the both of them, you should talk to them seriously about it before they get too far in thinking the wrong idea.
I feel like it's hard for a girl and a guy to be best friends nowadays, because it usually ends up being MORE than just friendship. Something I want to point out lol..
Usually when a couple breaks up they wouldn't want to really get back together unless, they didn't mean to actually break up.
The jealousy part, I know how you feel...it's like being used right?
Well maybe she does still love him, and can't accept it that they're no longer together.
It's hard to befriend someone who recently breaks up with their partner, and then their partner actually comes up to YOU.
That's when all sorts of problems occur, it triggers heavy sensitivity and lack of trust.~
Since you just wants to be friends with the both of them, you should talk to them seriously about it before they get too far in thinking the wrong idea.
I feel like it's hard for a girl and a guy to be best friends nowadays, because it usually ends up being MORE than just friendship. Something I want to point out lol..
#3
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Posted 29 November 2008 - 03:11 PM
They broke up because of a mutual agreement that they were growing apart.
Apparently, they "love" each other, from what i heard from her.
I had a talk with her before, reassuring her that i had no interest in him
I constantly talk to both of them about other guys that i'm interested in.
I thought by being open about these things, it would eliminate the chance of this happening...but i guess not.
Apparently, they "love" each other, from what i heard from her.
I had a talk with her before, reassuring her that i had no interest in him
I constantly talk to both of them about other guys that i'm interested in.
I thought by being open about these things, it would eliminate the chance of this happening...but i guess not.
#4
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Posted 29 November 2008 - 04:37 PM
If it was me, I'll feel the same way your friend does. Even if your her close friend, or best friend or whatever, she still gets jealous you know? I wouldn't like it if my best friend texts or talks to my boyfriend so much, I'll get jealous and feel the same way your friend does.
You can still talk to the guy, but maybe not as frequently as you use to.
You can try talking to both of them, so they won't get the wrong idea.
You can still talk to the guy, but maybe not as frequently as you use to.
You can try talking to both of them, so they won't get the wrong idea.
Never Ever Give Up.
#5
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Posted 29 November 2008 - 05:49 PM
QUOTE (ju-ju @ Nov 29 2008, 03:11 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
They broke up because of a mutual agreement that they were growing apart.
Apparently, they "love" each other, from what i heard from her.
I had a talk with her before, reassuring her that i had no interest in him
I constantly talk to both of them about other guys that i'm interested in.
I thought by being open about these things, it would eliminate the chance of this happening...but i guess not.
Apparently, they "love" each other, from what i heard from her.
I had a talk with her before, reassuring her that i had no interest in him
I constantly talk to both of them about other guys that i'm interested in.
I thought by being open about these things, it would eliminate the chance of this happening...but i guess not.
Just like what babiiqrlxT said, don't talk with him frequently...or else she'll definitley think something is up between the both of you.
I think it's kinda silly how this situation is, the trust is dying. Especially when there's one guy in the middle of two girls that happen to be friends.
#6
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Posted 30 November 2008 - 01:37 AM
You're right about her being jealous-- she's basically being a over-protective freak, claiming her boyfriend like a peice of candy.
As for him, he doesn't want his gf to be upset (no guy does). So if sacrificing something to make her happy is what he has to do, he'll do it.
And honestly, she's a bad friend for even doing that, even if you are close to her bf. If people like that are going to treat you like dirt, and act as if they could push you around, you could be spending time looking for new friends instead of wasting time on drama.
As for him, he doesn't want his gf to be upset (no guy does). So if sacrificing something to make her happy is what he has to do, he'll do it.
And honestly, she's a bad friend for even doing that, even if you are close to her bf. If people like that are going to treat you like dirt, and act as if they could push you around, you could be spending time looking for new friends instead of wasting time on drama.
#7
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Posted 30 November 2008 - 01:49 AM
How can you feel comfortable with him if you're always feeling so guilty with the speeches?
And well she probably had a deeper relationship with him that you may never have had. Call me dense whatever but you and him probably aren't those type of friends that had met each other for long. For her to be jealous and tell him whatever is very reasonable, especially when they are dating.
In my opinion, if you and him haven't been in a deep and long friendship, the guy himself has every right to distance himself away from you.
And well she probably had a deeper relationship with him that you may never have had. Call me dense whatever but you and him probably aren't those type of friends that had met each other for long. For her to be jealous and tell him whatever is very reasonable, especially when they are dating.
In my opinion, if you and him haven't been in a deep and long friendship, the guy himself has every right to distance himself away from you.
#8
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Posted 30 November 2008 - 01:54 AM
hey, if that was my piece of meat, id be jealous too. lmao.
hmm, i think what you did(telling both of them and being open) was the right thing to do.
unfortunately, your "friend" is quite the obsessive freak.
you should just sit both of them down with you and tell them to shut up and listen:
"you dont like him anymore than him being just a friend."
"hey hor, if you're going to be jealous, i think you should find yourself a new friend."
like you said, if he had to chose, he'd pick her. so obviously he picked her.
so either you: text him one more time and be like, sorry, BLAH thinks we're being too close, stop texting him and stick with your friend.
: sit them down and discuss as a group how you dont like him any more than a friend.
: OR just stop being friends with both. cause the guy was a RECENT friend and you seem to be faltering with the control about not liking him, and the girl doesnt seem like much of a friend.
hmm, i think what you did(telling both of them and being open) was the right thing to do.
unfortunately, your "friend" is quite the obsessive freak.
you should just sit both of them down with you and tell them to shut up and listen:
"you dont like him anymore than him being just a friend."
"hey hor, if you're going to be jealous, i think you should find yourself a new friend."
like you said, if he had to chose, he'd pick her. so obviously he picked her.
so either you: text him one more time and be like, sorry, BLAH thinks we're being too close, stop texting him and stick with your friend.
: sit them down and discuss as a group how you dont like him any more than a friend.
: OR just stop being friends with both. cause the guy was a RECENT friend and you seem to be faltering with the control about not liking him, and the girl doesnt seem like much of a friend.
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