[sujulove]

OKAY. My mind has been going whack for so long now >__<
here's the story.
I met this one guy that I met at a party,
and he had a friend ask me to dance with him, and he also had a friend ask me for my number for him
and at first we did not hit it off AT ALL. I never thought I'd see him again.
but then he found me online and we started talking, but I was still trying to get over
this other guy whom I liked VERY much. But I started to kind of like this new guy. or...maybe just the thought of him?
because we had soo much in common and I heard that he liked me and that he was a really nice guy
and my friend's boyfriend is friends with him.
I started talking to him a little on the phone, and he made me a little happy.
so we went on a date. but while we were watching a movie I started to think of the other guy (who I was trying to get over)
and when we were holding hands in the car I thought of the time I held the other guy's hand
and there was just no chemistry between me and this new guy.
I didn't feel any sparks, or any connection. and that's important, right?
with the guy I was trying to get over, I'd be out of breath when he simply looked at me, or even when I just thought about him looking at me
but with this new guy there's not really anything. but I kept talking to him anyways
and today I saw him again, but we had absolutely nothing to talk about. With the guy I was trying to get over, it was impossible for us to happen
my parents would NOT let, and there was a legitimate reason too. so i decided to stop before anything bad happened.
He wasn't a bad guy. we were just under bad circumstances. My heart wanted him, but my mind didn't.
and now with this new guy, my mind wants him because we'd be cute together and we have a lot in common.
but my heart isn't in it. I don't feel any sparks. when I look at him, my breath is the same. I don't have that feeling when I'm with him.
and in the beginning, I told my friend that if he asked me out, I would say yes
and my friend told her boyfriend who told this new guy. But then I started changing my mind, because there's not really anything there...like I thought there'd be
and today he actually asked me out. and I said yes because I felt bad for wanting to say no
i heard that his ex-girlfriend dumped him because she thought he was "strange" and he was feeling really bad about it.
But I heard from my friend that he really liked me, and I could tell he does really like me.
I want to like him as much as I liked the other guy, but the sparks just aren't there. We've never really had anything to talk about
even though we have so much in common. and I told him yes, but my heart isn't all there in it like his is.
There's just something about him that bothers me, that doesn't click. I'm having such doubts about us being together.
I feel like I can't return his feelings. And now I don't know what to do.

What do you think about my problem? Is it even that big?
What am I going to do? Just stick with it and see if my feelings change? Should I tell him?
But what if I hurt him? WHAT DO YOU THINK?


okay. sorry if that's confusing. I just...really want to know your opinion.
thanks...^^;; i've never done anything like this...before...

[babiiqrlxT]

If your heart wasn't feeling it, shouldn't have said yes because you going to hurt him more. Well you can give a week or two and see if that feeling grows, but if it doesn't it's best to end it wit him because the longer you drag it, the more it'll hurt him.

[tian`tian]

I think you should tell him before things go any further.
Be honest with yourself and with him. You don't feel the same way at all.
You don't want to be in a relationship with him.
Don't be in one just because you feel bad for him, that's not fair to him either.
Just tell him you're not ready for a relationship right now, you are trying to get over another guy and don't want him to get hurt because of it.
You can tell him to remain friends if he likes. If not, understand that perspective too.

Personally I think the "feeling" is very very important. I felt that with my bf when we just started talking and I still do whenever we're together. ^^

Good luck!

[한스 ㅋㅋ]

Your mind wants to be with him, but your heart doesn't.
When those 2 things fight, the winner is always the heart.
Your heart still thinks about your ex over time. There is probably nothing wrong with this guy, but you can't get over your ex which is why you think this guy is not good enough and there's just no connection.
You gotta admit it that you still do think about your ex a lot
Otherwise you wouldn't compare this guy with him. Everyone is different, and I'm sure you know that, so you wouldn't compare unless you still like him.

I think that's the problem.

[Fui]

Maybe you should rethink your decision.
If you're not over the other guy, don't get close to the new guy. It's not fair to him...

[Steffany.]

I feel like I can't return his feelings.

Spare him, and yourself, from wasting time. As much as it might hurt him, you should also realize that leading him on won't do you both any good. Feelings CAN possibly change, but if you're still in the process of missing someone else... don't pursue this relationship any further. You'll just end up hurting him even more.. Just be honest. Honesty is always better than trying to cover up and lie yknow?

Good luck hun ^^

[junsulover23]

Dude....just break it up cuz you aren't gonna go any where with it so its better to just let go!
You two have too much in common but you guys can't even talk when it comes to simple conversations or just a filpin' joke!
GOSH! its better this way....So break up RIGHT NOW!
HAHHAHAHHA....LEJA ITS ME! GOT ON! :sweatingbullets: I feel so sorry for BSB! Too bad! :o

[ahyl]

I had the same situation a year ago. It was really bad...
I liked this other guy badly... (for a freakin long time)
and I was almost over him, I think. Then I met this guy in college
and he liked me a lot. We went out for a very short time when I started talking
to the other guy again.... then I started to compare the two of them. The more I
compared the more I liked the other guy.
My heart just kept telling me I cannot let go of the other guy.
I was always so happy with the other guy (maybe because I found out things
about the new guy that I really didn't like!).
But anyway, I talked it out to the new guy and he understood.
Even though I am not with the my old crush (whom I've liked for so many years now)
I am happy that I didn't mislead the new guy. I don't think it's fair for him.
So yeah, talk it out with him. Maybe you can ask him for some time... and don't make a decision
too fast because you also never know what you have until it's gone~
He, too, could be a great guy and your heart might realize that later... you never know.
Talk it out!

[g-yo]

You never know - you both might be in the same situation.
I would talk to him before it gets any deeper and he gets more hurt.
Sooner than later.

[sujulove]

gaah. thank you guys so much!
the advice was perfect. it really helped me soo much.
i was so nervous and worried about telling him
but he understood and it really wasn't as bad as i thought it might be
and I know that it's all thanks to you guys
I think I would have made a terrible mistake if i kept going
but now I feel so relieved, and much better. thank you so much
thank youuuuu -sends billions of hearts and hugs-
WHEEWWW -wipes sweat-
you're all so knowledgable -bows- xD

keke. AMANDAA ilyyy hah. junsulover xD