[peaceman]

My little sister and I are the only 2 girls out of the children, plus i have an older brother.
My Dad is the most conservative person i ever known in my entire life....he would always be sexist towards my sister and I, just because we're both "Girls". He would always let loose towards my brother coz his a "Boy"...In that saying he lets him free of doing chores around the house/home duties/let's him come home whenever he wants..ect. My brother gets treated like the"Golden child" of the family...which is pretty much unfair towards my sister and i. My mom is pretty much just a follower..& agress with my Dad. like Wtf?

Ever since i was little he would always tell my sister and i to do the chores around the house such as doing the laundry/dishes/vacuming/cooking...well basically home duties around the house..

I hate cleaning my brothers room, washings his freakin clothes and even doing what he orders me to do..such as telling me to iron his clothes whenever he goes out.

My sister and i also has curfews whenever we're going out...and heck I'm already 19!

My Dad/Mom would say somehting like "You girl, you have to do the dishes coz you a girl" - Well, no $HIT I'm a girl!

I've rebelled towards them & spoke out to them on how i feel the way they're treating me, i explained to them several times..but they just brush it off and don't freakin understand where the hell I'm coming from! & whenever i tell them that they are sexist...that's when we exchange blows and have heated arguments...

This is kinda pissing me off..!!

At one point i wanted to move out..coz living with sexist parents and just observing my brother doing literally nothing...makes me mad! But i thought that wasn't a great idea at all...

On a positIve note..i know they care for me and probably perhaps preparing me when i get older and independent or even when i become a housewife perhaps? But seriously...Girls shouldn't be treated like this coz we're "girls".. i mean where does Equality come into this?

Someone tell me where i can get a time machine! Heck it's the 21st century and my parents still have this mindset. My Dad thinks men are still dominant in my family..how the hell do i change his freakin mindset..etgghh Help!!!

[Shikabane Hime]

There really is no way to deal with it. Patriarchal fathers that have grown up thinking that guys are meant to empower women will find it painful to think otherwise. Ironically, he married someone that will bow down to him. So you are just unfortunate.

It's the 21st century, but do you see gender equality when it comes to income and wages? Even in developed societies, men are still the head of the family. There are many problems in the world involving gender inequality, so don't act as if everything's cool now.

If you really have a problem with it, go to the authorities, not some online forums.

[stickycarnival]

maybe its influenced by religious views? i know under certain religions they have different views on the status of women

[damyoungji]

There really is no way to deal with it.

I agree with you. There is no way but to deal with it because it is not like your father will suddenly change his views and stop being sexist.

My dad is sexist and racist, and he expects my family to think the same way. I am the middle child in the family and I am a girl, while my older sibling is also a girl, while my younger brother is a guy. It makes it even worse in terms of him being sexist since my brother is already spoiled for being the youngest in the family, and for being the only son. All thanks to my dad, my brother is quite sexist, too T.T

There is nothing we can do but to defend ourselves, or to completely ignore my dad during those times. But my brother is still young, so he might change?

[crunkyp0p]

I really don't know what to tell you because I never experience this before, my brother and I are treated equally and he does dishes, laundry, clean the house too. He's only 10 but my parents make him do these thing to help prepare him, when he goes away for college.

Although this doesn't happen in my house, I seen this alot especially in Asian family like my cousins. They are always the ones doing laundry, dishes, cleaning the house, cooking while their brothers do nothing. When things go wrong, they are the ones that gets yelled at and trouble, regardless of what really happen, and it's not their father that is like that but their mother.

It's the 21th century and I think people should let go of that 'men is better than women' mentality. Cleaning, cooking is not something that women should do, it's something that everyone should do.

Since you already talked to your parents and they don't listen, I think you should move out since you are 19. You are unhappy with this situtation, then take action ... nobody else can help you besides yourself.

[leaves]

That is so sexist! D:
Is your dad the kind that will punish you or hit you?
If it was me, I wouldn't do chores if it's not fair between my siblings.
You need to do something about this! Talk to him about it and refuse to.
Don't wait until it's too late! Take action now!

I remember when my dad was all like bossy... and then my sister is the bossy/talk back type and she always refuses. ;D
And then I sort of learned from her. O_O;

[한스 ㅋㅋ]

I may be wrong? I may be right
But i think your dad just cares for you actually. he just doesn't wanna say it.

let's him come home whenever he wants

All I can say is.
Guys can't get raped.
if he did, he would enjoy it.

He doesn't let you come home late coz he might be afraid something might happen.
Different from a guy, he can take care of himself.


Although I don't agree with him telling you to do all the chores, i mean, your brother should at least do his own one, so he can be mature and discipline.

[banditkiller015]

Your mom is on your dad's side? Well if it's true then that's really weird since your mom is female. Doesn't your mom do any of the chores?

[Shikabane Hime]

It's the 21th century and I think people should let go of that 'men is better than women' mentality. Cleaning, cooking is not something that women should do, it's something that everyone should do.

It's the 21st century, yet people continue to remain impartial about global issues and expect someone else to do something about it.
Not my problem, not our problem, someone will deal with it for us.

The only reason why anyone, such as yourself, would say something that challenges traditionally patriarchal standings is the fact that female (and male) activists have been out there in the political social economic world fighting for rights, privileges, and freedom for women.

Otherwise, we'd still be thinking "ya, men are better than women."

[ramenhero]

I may be wrong? I may be right
But i think your dad just cares for you actually. he just doesn't wanna say it.


All I can say is.
Guys can't get raped.
if he did, he would enjoy it.

unless he got raped by another dude.. then i dont think he'd enjoy it as much

but to answer your question.. really there isn't a way to get around it.. ever heard the saying " can't teach an old dog new tricks "
its just mostly in asian cultures thats how it is.. the mind set... you kind of just have to deal with it and hope that he'll ease up. i feel bad that you have a brother like that though.. i mean no hard feelings towards your brother but id feel like id have to pull my own weight.. lol especially since you clean his room! thats hella crazy....im sorry about that.. i just hope you can just stomach it until college.

[_dax_]

You are not the only one. I battle my Dad's biased views daily. Lets hope your Dad doesn't have a violent temper like mine.
Too bad some don't realize it is 2008 and females should be respected as an equality.

There is not much you can do except for hanging in there until you move out.
However you can talk to counsellors for support, which I suggest over discussing with your parents who seem headstrong to understanding different points of views. As long as you know that you are right, keep that true in your mind.

Anyone who isn't old-fashioned will most likely they will side with you.

I was told many ridiculous things by my parents, which of course I don't follow.
Things such as a girl should not raise her voice even if she is right, never go against a guy, don't speak your opinion, keep silent, stay at home, don't bother with education, just stay home to take care of parents and find a guy to become financially stable, and basically become isolated from the social scene and events etc The exact opposite of being independent it seems.

A bunch of bull in my opinion. Hope you figure out a way to cope. Life can be tough but patience will be rewarded

[KAITOU KID.]

The thing is, your dad is right.
Women; learn your place.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've already told her twice!


...I'm kidding <3.

But yeah, that sucks. Sometimes old-fashioned values are a bit ridiculous.
On the flipside, are you sure there's nothing you get out of the deal (so to speak - a girls > guys situation [although guys > girls...xD jk])?

[baobao|bakachan]

Hmm, I haven't heard this kind of situation in awhile. But if I ever did, the Mom would always be on the girl's side...most of the time.

[Sarin]

Damn, that IS an unfortunate situation, yes. The only suggestion I have is to move out. If even after expressing your views, you still get ignored and it's honestly degrading (especially when your Mom accepts and even perpetrates this behavior and treatment?), you have to get out of there. Especially since telling them exactly how they're acting makes them actually physically hit you. Why isn't moving out a good idea to you? Is it a financial issue? How old is your sister? You two should definitely start looking at ways or ideas on moving out, or perhaps rooming with some friends, provided you two have jobs to sustain yourselves.

Just sitting there, gritting your teeth and dealing with it will be detrimental to your health. It's obviously annoying and angering you, and will just cause more stress and tension in the household. I know I'd be furious and would've been out of there as soon as I graduated from high school. No way should anybody have to be forced to live in some backwards household.

Speaking of which, I had a friend who lived in a similar household. She's Korean, and her parents are very traditional. VERY. Her older sister, sick of the treatment, moved out as soon as she graduated (she was very smart and I think got a dorm in a school out of state) and rarely contacts them. My friend also moved out after high school out of state and I'm sure she is much happier now.

[a&k*]

my dad used to favor my brother over me but i proved to be the more harder working & higher grade achiever so he likes me more than him now GG me! i'm older btw.

and i know exactly why he likes me more. it's all because he can brag to his friends about how his daughter, I, attend so&so school and gets so&so grades. chhyyeea.

none of us do the chores though cus our grandma, aunt, uncle do it >___>" ...

[KTHubbybunch]

actually this is very hard to deal with. i'm encountering this ever since i live in this wacky family of mine. they need a therapy seriously! -^- in fact this kind of situation just really makes things worse!

[min_60]

There really is no way to deal with it.

Agreed, it's much either with the option of bear with it or move out.

I myself come from this type of family but the sexist concept came from my extended family, my grandparents who have strong influence on my parents.

My mum's okay though she isnt that sexist, my bro who was spoiled b4 is now not so doted by my mum

[Onizuka]

Your brother is such an ass. pig
He'd actually not do anything? I guess you guys are not that close..
I actually help my sister with my own will if it's too much for her. Or if she has some problem she would come to me and talk about it.
Why don't you try discussing this problem with your brother? Since your mom is no help, and your dad being like that.

Anyways, Where in the world do you live?
If you don't mind, allow me to go kidnap you or something. Let's elope.

[touche`]

maybe its influenced by religious views? i know under certain religions they have different views on the status of women

There's a chance that her parents may be influenced by religious view, but it's not always so. I don't like how sometimes people's first assumption is religious influence. There are people out there who are not influenced by religion and still are sexist.

As for the topic starter: You can't change his view, but you can help his view.

[Manyhx3]

I feel your pain too. I'm 19 and the curfew hasn't changed since I was 14 or younger.
my curfew is 8 pm. my sister doesn't have curfew T_T

anyway, my brother is treated as the king or the prince of the house. he doesn't do anything. clean, laundry,dishes. rarely, he only takes his laundry sometimes he never does anything at all. luckily he isn't home that often.

Still I hate the curfew the most and my parents defends excuses are "You're a girl bla bla"