[un.mei]

i dont know where to start...
but i feel like i'm going crazy right now.
there's absolutely nothing going on in my life...
but at the same time everything.
should this be in love and relationship...
bc it has everything to do with love and relationship..
but i need an adult to tell me something.
i'm an adult...i'm 24...
but i feel so lost right now.
i keep going around different forums and communities because i need someone to tell me everything will be okay...
but i can't talk to anyone i know...
i sometimes just want to crash my car into a wall or off a highway ramp...
i look around the restaurant and wonder if i stabbed myself right there what would happen...
and i see all these happy families and i realize i would never want to be the person that makes a family unhappy.
i just found out my father cheated on my mother...
he has a second life...
a different apartment...
and there's so much more...
there's so much betrayal i don't even know where to start...
my whole life i wanted to get married and live just like my parents...
but in the last year ... all the great relationships in my life that i look to to help me build the foundation of my own relationship...
they've all broken down ... because all 4 of those relationships the men have fallen for their own selfish desires.
i dont know where to start but i wish someone would help me...
i've never felt this vulnerable in my life.
my mom is the strongest woman i know ...
and all she does is cry...
she's suddenly on sleeping pills and i'm scared that one day she won't wake up...
so i call her everyday.
while driving she suddenly breaks out into tears and i'm so upset i can't do anything.
i dont know where to start i just ... oh my god.
i sound crazy.

[Prot]

i dont know where to start...
but i feel like i'm going crazy right now.
there's absolutely nothing going on in my life...
but at the same time everything.
should this be in love and relationship...
bc it has everything to do with love and relationship..
but i need an adult to tell me something.
i'm an adult...i'm 24...
but i feel so lost right now.
i keep going around different forums and communities because i need someone to tell me everything will be okay...
but i can't talk to anyone i know...
i sometimes just want to crash my car into a wall or off a highway ramp...
i look around the restaurant and wonder if i stabbed myself right there what would happen...
and i see all these happy families and i realize i would never want to be the person that makes a family unhappy.
i just found out my father cheated on my mother...
he has a second life...
a different apartment...
and there's so much more...
there's so much betrayal i don't even know where to start...
my whole life i wanted to get married and live just like my parents...
but in the last year ... all the great relationships in my life that i look to to help me build the foundation of my own relationship...
they've all broken down ... because all 4 of those relationships the men have fallen for their own selfish desires.
i dont know where to start but i wish someone would help me...
i've never felt this vulnerable in my life.
my mom is the strongest woman i know ...
and all she does is cry...
she's suddenly on sleeping pills and i'm scared that one day she won't wake up...
so i call her everyday.
while driving she suddenly breaks out into tears and i'm so upset i can't do anything.
i dont know where to start i just ... oh my god.
i sound crazy.

If you die its over. You gonna die eventually, no need to rush. Vulnerability is a state of mind. You are alive, therefore you are invulnerable. Tell your mother to get off the sleeping pills because drug dependency will screw with your sleep cycle and turn into dependence on the drug to sleep. If the relationships you've been in ended with selfish desires or the other partner being an idiot, they aren't worth remembering. They don't mean anything. Consider, if you were mugged, is that an event worth remembering? Sure it is something you can learn from as it is an experience that happened but ultimately, nothing worth remembering and dwelling over or being sad over. Past is unchangable. Look for a future, aim for it. Future can be changed, past cannot. 5 stages of grief has acceptance as the last stage because there is nothing you can do except accept something such as the past because there is nothing you can do about it. Console your mother and be there for her. Realize, feeling sorry for yourself or for your mother does nothing. Past is unchangable.

[zaq112]

I can understand how upset you are. Something similar happened with my parents when I was about 18. One difference was I wasn't supposed to know... actually they still don't know that I know. I decided to keep it to myself for the sake of their pride. Honestly the way I get through things is I think " Things are hard for me but there are people worse off then me" (even if I have to keep repeating it to myself) and I try to appreciate the things I have. Your father's mistake isn't worth your life. For me my parents past mistakes is something to learn from. Life is short so you need to make the most of the time you have. It may sound cliche but it's true. The way you're feeling now won't last forever. Another thing I tell myself is " I'm gonna get over eventually so it might as well be now." And even though "now" isn't when I'll it get over saying this to myself helps me realize that the situation at hand won't last forever. My mother is strong as well but understand that even the strongest person will break down at some point. As your mom has been strong for you in the past it's time for you to be strong for her and help her through this difficult time. Be optimistic. Even if you have to fake it. Sometimes faking optimism helps because you forget that your faking it and it becomes real. This is just my personal experience. There are so many things to live for. I have a child so maybe it makes me a little more sentimental but I couldn't imagine leaving my child or even a trillion times worse my child leaving me. I think losing a child would be the worst pain ever. Imagine how your mom or (even though your'e angry now) you're dad would feel. I'm rambling now...

And if you really feel this way (suicide) looking for help is the best thing. Seriously check this site http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ . They offer a number to talk to someone about the things and feelings you are dealing with right now.

[HERMIT]

My first gut reaction: You need more qualified, face-to-face counseling to help you cope and resolve your reputation.
Your situation sounds a lot more dire than to rely upon us cheap, faceless, and unqualified armchair psychologists. The only reasonable and logical suggestion that I can make is to help address your mother's situation first, since she has put herself in a more perilous state in coping with the situation than you are.

[Tuffcore]

i dont know where to start...
but i feel like i'm going crazy right now.
there's absolutely nothing going on in my life...
but at the same time everything.
should this be in love and relationship...
bc it has everything to do with love and relationship..
but i need an adult to tell me something.
i'm an adult...i'm 24...
but i feel so lost right now.
i keep going around different forums and communities because i need someone to tell me everything will be okay...
but i can't talk to anyone i know...
i sometimes just want to crash my car into a wall or off a highway ramp...
i look around the restaurant and wonder if i stabbed myself right there what would happen...
and i see all these happy families and i realize i would never want to be the person that makes a family unhappy.
i just found out my father cheated on my mother...
he has a second life...
a different apartment...
and there's so much more...
there's so much betrayal i don't even know where to start...
my whole life i wanted to get married and live just like my parents...
but in the last year ... all the great relationships in my life that i look to to help me build the foundation of my own relationship...
they've all broken down ... because all 4 of those relationships the men have fallen for their own selfish desires.
i dont know where to start but i wish someone would help me...
i've never felt this vulnerable in my life.
my mom is the strongest woman i know ...
and all she does is cry...
she's suddenly on sleeping pills and i'm scared that one day she won't wake up...
so i call her everyday.
while driving she suddenly breaks out into tears and i'm so upset i can't do anything.
i dont know where to start i just ... oh my god.
i sound crazy.

People wake up in hospitals without a limb, kids dead, 50 years of life savings gone with the fall of the stock markets, etc. And you're upset about people around you not behaving the way you feel is ideal? You have to relax a bit. This may sound insensitive but adultery in our society is becoming the norm, not the exception. You're life is normal so there's no need to be talking about taking your own life just so you can have some kind of control over your environment or so your environment notices your feelings. Don't think like that.

The old saying goes, "what doesn't kill you will make you stronger" and it's true in this case as well. You don't always have to learn from idols and perfection. You can also learn from other people's mistakes. People around you are making mistakes and affecting others around them. It hurts right now but this too shall pass. Learn to channel this energy properly so you can turn this experience into a great tool in the future whether it be for your own life or your child's life.